Hey everyone! Before I start posting around I'd like to get on a solid ground with myself. I don't think anyone wants an advice from someone who can't understand himself. There's enough dishonesty around without me in that equation. I've been thinking lately and I'm not that sure about anything, it's hard to be objective with yourself. I had an idea of posting here before but only recently I decided to do it. It's really long
1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
If there is such a thing it would affect this one as well so why bother haha? Just kidding, I'm fine, I'm 22 years old, with some bad periods but I brush them away, something I'd like they'd do as well, being a good friend that's really persistent and all that .
flickr . com/photos/tillo98...ore-2013-09-22
I don't really know what to say man, this thing surely is older than me I can say that. Makes me think of that The Ring tape I believe and layers of crispy cake. You know I never had a special place for art like this. I don't know it doesn't say really much, and I never liked that mirror of reality thing anyhow. What am I supposed to say: time changes everything? I think feelings like nostalgia or love have great impact on artists but then the process is completely wrong. I mean I did take pictures that had some connection with myself as well but they'd remain in private realm. I don't mean to say that something that starts with personal meaning is rubbish, but I think that objective ideas are easily projected on audience. In spite of that I think it does have sort of potential. Put painting where the broken mirror is, paint trails leading up the stairs and to the roof and you have a nice metaphor as far as I'm concerned which is not that much but I like to voice my opinion sometimes unfortunately.
I read a funny comic the other day how adults are not allowed to play. I don't know when then when you are. Spend your time the way you want. Yoo don't have to wait for your kids to be able to play. It's pointless anyway, kids are supposed do more and more things from the day they're born with every passing year. You find friends in school but no, they can't be number one, school has to be. You finnaly make it, finish college and then, you might say it's leisure time I could watch a TV but no, you're stuck with your boss screaming in your ear. And when you were a kid you thought that it just happens to you. Well, surprise it's still the same year for everyone. You have to get out of that routine somehow, go out and explore- lay in snow or just play... flickr. com/photos/cliff2n/9918713444/in/explore-2013-09-24
It is imagination, and how even the most beautiful things can seem ugly and vice versa. There's been a lot of talk of who's right and who's wrong and most of the time you can't find the truth. And that wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a thing like shaping things according to your values. A tree in this picture is just a tree, no matter gray or brown. I don' care if you trust in God or in Science. It's all a part of life anyway. But when those viwes get taken too far that's a problem. You know, when I was in school I had problems with bullies, something I regret I wasn't able to handle better. Now when I see somebody with behaviour simillar to them I automatically despise them. But the worst part was they thought that being Christian is enough to be good. I was never into religion but that's just bullshit. Bible has such a nice message, and guess what love should always be red. You are not allowed to screw this.
4. You are on the clock to fix something, a friend of yours sits beside you and gives a lot of interesting ideas, none of them actually help or are related to your situation, but they are still something you find interesting. What is your reaction? What do you say? What do you do? What's your train of thought?
It's easy to get lost in thought and there are a few instances where I thought about something and that would get me of my tracks. How to sit and listen and not have thoughts of your own? On a workplace, that's a bad idea. I tend to learn from past mistakes which were plenty, so I'd have to ask me friend to stop doing that. It's all well that I have many unimaginative friends so yay for me. Makes me think that my inattentive state is like a mechanism that keeps me in one place and that's bullshit, no one should feel that way.
5a. What are some of your most important values?
Well, I've been called cold and everything but without being that way I think that I wouldn't be able to think the way I do now. Sure, I like love, friendship and things like that, and I couldn't get out of many problems If I didn't have those things. I think that I'm not that bad anyways, I've heard a lot of bad things and still my tank isn't full, something I wouldn't say for many people. It's not nice when it doesn't work both ways, I think that you have to open eyes sometimes and just let sun in and not judge. I'm not really proud of myself, actually not at all and don't let me get started on that, but I believe that I have a certain way of thinking that only makes you think more and that's not that a bad asset to have. Still, I have to be careful with people I choose and not many of them really like me as well.
5b. Can they change? What would be the reason if they changed?
I've been thinking alot lately, about myself and things around me and I think that I have pretty constant plan, but sometimes some things happen that make you think again. I'm pretty sure of myself, but when you see things for which you thought they're a bad way to deal with problem that succeed, it actually makes you think. I mean I always leave my options open, and lately dealing with some sensitive stuff I think that's the best way. I was never the guy that wouldn't accept correction if that's how it is, but coincedence won't cut it. I've been told a lot that I overanalyze things too much, not wanting to reach status quo, but you know, you have to be on solid ground with yourself and your framework all the time.
6. You are in a car with some other people, the people in the car are talking. Someone makes a claim that you see as immoral/rude/cruel. What is your inward reaction? What do you think? What do you say?
I've been reading some magazine a while ago, which had something to do with Monty Python and which said that it's important to stay, I summarize, in playful mood. You would run out of your voice if you'd shout at everything. Make a joke and see how it goes. I've seen some bad things about some people I thought that were nice which made me not want to talk to them and that's the best choice as far as I'm concerned. I've watched many shows how to deal with bad stuff and making fun of them seems like the best way. Surely, sometimes you have to act but I have kind of open relationship with morality.
7. a) What activities energizes you the most? Why?
Actually, I like helping people a lot. Some of them were quite surprised once they saw that, but I just don't like showing around. Stick to yourself and do what you like and not what the others say. I'd say that I'm out of touch with modern stuff. I think that internet had a great impact on that way of thinking , made communication alot easier and makes us feel closer, but it's easier now to share everything than ever before. Which can get overwhelming, especially with being mostly on receiving end, something that made me think: why actually not do something. Having no other idea, I started helping people around, and soon that made me a lot better.
Stuff like reading, playing chess, writing are on the same checklist.
7. b) What activities drains you the most? Why?
Doing all that Hello I'm your best friend and I don't even know you stuff. It's bad enough when people get into your face let alone you doing the same. And all the touching, like you're a carpet or something. And it doesn't come naturally to me, not that I don't want it. I have a lot of problems doing that even with people I know for some long time. And having to talk extensively, I'm not that good at verbal communication. I might as well pat you on your back. I'm better when I put some disguise, that makes me easier to talk but also kind of an enigma to even my closest ones. Look, honestly I'm a disaster at social life.
8. Do you believe you are introverted or extraverted? Why do you believe that? (Please be as detailed as possible)
I haven't really thought about it that much but somehow being an extravert would really turn tables around. You know, I get periods when I need some talking but mostly I spend my time thinking alone. And not necessary thinking only, I think there's a lot of stuff you can do by yourself which I really like. I had many occasions where I'd have to share my ideas, but they always seem better off in my head. Some conversations can go smooth, but the more the people the harder is for me to talk. I think that coming with ideas while being alone comes as more natural for me and playing video games is something I like to do as well and not feel like I'm wasting time. And yet I sometimes have to share my thoughts, but there've been some times where I couldn't bear company anymore.
9. Please describe yourself, what do you see as your greatest strengths and what do you see as your greatest weaknesses?
I don't know really, something like versatility could be good I think. I have a hard time reflecting on stuff like this. Just now there's a whole bunch of stuff I'm doing that sometime ago I thought was a shittier part of myself. And I think I'm just floating alright you know? Can't really vouch if there's any difference from like it was in a past but somehow it made me more confident. The time where I have to face these things had to come up eventually and I just wanted to not do the backing away part again. I had a lot of stuff that made me uncomfortable, now leaving me thinking that with time you have to face yourself eventually. I still think I'm kind of bad at expressing emotion, but I was that from beginning. No one ever said I was a great poet or anything. While we're at expressing part, I'm not a good talker really either. I had a rough past and I think that had a huge impact, but I try to find roundabounts of sorts, something that also comes with age.
10. Please describe yourself when you are feeling stressed. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Getting emotions in front when they are not needed. I know that I can't be analyzing stuff all the time, but those things really come at a wrong time. Like, I'm driving a car and there's guy behind me (in the other car you perv) and I can't shake the feeling that I have to drive faster and that I'm to slow. That makes me feel weird and I don't like it. I'm projecting those stuff and I know it, but what can I do when it comes, it's not a concious decision or anything and same goes for not being able to talk in stream and rather pausing midsentence and allowing people to reflect on their dreams and stuff like that for a good half of a minute only to say one word at the end.
11. What is your "soft spot" (the area that makes you upset if people mess with)?
Pretty much everything haha, being a huge softie and I think it fits my teddy bear image with pink noses and such. Honestly, i hate it when people take their points of view to far and try to make everyone think they are right. I mean I like Jesus and all, but that was 2000 years ago, and you're not him reincarnated. I try to approach world openly and I'm not the one who'll force someone in my way of thinking. Believe in what you want if it makes your day better. I probably had some hypocritical moments and I try to stay in touch with myself all the time so lately I'm even more open to everything.
12. What are most of the ideas/thoughts you get generally centered around (try to expand your answers as much as possible)?
Just analyzing something that's completely pointless, making connections. People usually take it for granted, but I'll do some maths first.
13. What's your opinion of getting frequent feedback on what you do? (Someone pointing out what is good, what is bad, what and how to improve) Is there a limit to how often you want feedback? If so, what is the limit?
I don't like it. I don't do it so I believe it is a fair trade. I like discussing with people, but really discussing only. Like a Holy Bible of mine and I stick by it.
14. Anything beyond what has been discussed that you would like to add?
Thank you all for reading and I'm looking forward to discussing with you