This is my first post here, so hello! Before the main stuff, I just want to say this community is very inspiring. Thanks for all of your contributions.
By the way, I'm procrastinating right now... I should be doing homework.
Anyway, I've taken the official MBTI once, but I've retaken several informal tests online (such as 41q). My official results were ISTJ, but I'm starting to doubt that is accurate; I've gotten ISFJ, INFJ, INFP, ISFP as well. As I recall, my I was very strong (at least 85%, I think), but the rest I'm not sure about. I'm also beginning to realize that I might have been fooling myself when taking this test. I'll explain.
I used to think I was a really realistic, down-to-earth person. I was very frank with words, and I said what I meant. I'm still this way, to an extent, but I think my preferences are changing (common during college years? I wouldn't be surprised). Currently, this is who I identify as:
-I have a very strong moral and belief system in place. I always have; generally, I have opinions on everything that comes up. I'm pretty stubborn, and once I decide on something, it's hard to change my mind. Lately, though, I tell myself I might not always know everything, and so I listen. I usually want to follow laws whenever possible. Example: I love to drive fast, but I never speed; I restrain myself. It is quite difficult, but my need to obey the law overshadows my need for speed. I hate speed limits with a passion, though, so perhaps this is a fear of punishment.
-While I NEVER show it, I'm very deeply affected by conflict and criticism. People see me as very think-skinned and uncaring, but I feel with great depth. I am extremely reluctant to show my feelings for anything, especially in terms of interpersonal contact. I do this because I am concerned that my words and/or actions will label me as a particular image that I do not wish to convey. I can usually tell how other people feel, but others would never think that about me.
-With girls I'm attracted to (I'm a guy, for clarification), I often avoid encounters because I am quite concerned about making a positive first impression. I always want to make sure I'm at my best for it, but I never feel like I am when the opportunities arise.... While I don't necessarily script out what I'm going to say, I often find that I will insert random blurbs into a conversation to keep it going (such as, man, I'm really tired today.), or perhaps to justify to myself why it might not be going as expected.
-I daydream about romance fairly frequently. I form "perfect" scenarios in my head, and I think to myself how nice it would be if it worked out that way. I daydream about a lot of other things as well. I could stare at clouds while lying in a hammock all day and do nothing but think.
-I don't discuss romantic attractions with anyone. Anyone. It's, quite frankly, none of their business. I'm extremely picky, and so I think some people think I'm asexual or something.... My friends sometimes tease me ("are you ever gonna get a girlfriend?") I've never had a girlfriend as of yet, but it's really because I haven't found anyone that both jumps out at me and presents a proper opportunity. My friends sometimes say they want to hook me up with people, but I don't want that. It just feels wrong; I feel like I need to find a partner on my own. I don't want to share that experience with anyone else. I would never have a random hookup. Relationships to me, are so deep and important, and I really don't think that late teens-early twenties girls are mature enough to provide me with what I crave, which is to love and to be loved. Everything else is gravy.
-I don't consider myself socially awkward at all. I have no trouble making friends, but I truly value very few friendships. Generally speaking, I have learned, over the years, to be able to cater to everyone. I try to please everyone, even though I know I should never do that. In high school, everyone knew me, including nerds and jocks, and nobody really bothered me. I'm pretty sure that whoever I asked would give me the time of day no problem.
-I make decisions with my head, but I think this is a barrier I've developed over the years to avoid being hurt emotionally. I am afraid to expose my feelings. I don't really know why. I was never abused, and I can't think of any particularly traumatic childhood events.
-When someone messes up in a performance, I usually feel bad for them and hope they can tough it out. I recognize that everybody makes mistakes, and they can be embarrassing. Ridiculing people for them is repulsive.
-While I look at past experiences to make many of my decisions, I also sometimes get that "gut feeling" that I should do something.
-I love music. I compose, produce, etc.... I love listening to music that invokes true emotion, particularly more melancholy.
-I grew up playing a lot of video games... I realize now that this was probably so because games let me live out a fantasy without fear of screwing up my personal reputation or putting my safety at risk. They took me to another world where I was free of obligation, and I could think objectively about things without always having to worry about the risks and/or consequences.
-I'm very nostalgic. I have trouble throwing away old things, thinking I'll find a use for them eventually. I get emotionally attached to objects.
-I hate, hate, hate when people come into my room when I'm doing something. If I'm listening to a song and just absorbing it, interruptions are very disruptive to me, and I don't want other people to know what I'm up to (not that it's anything bad , I just really value my privacy). If people come in, they almost always will comment on what I'm doing or listening to. I just want them to go away. I don't want to have to devote brain power to give them reasons or other baloney.
-I can usually tell who those "jack***" people are by just looking at them. People can say I judge too fast or that I stereotype or blah blah, but I'm usually pretty accurate, whether they see that or not. I dislike people who are inconsiderate of others' feelings. Ironically, people probably see me that way....
-While I wouldn't say I'm bad with money, I do like to spend, and I do like nice clothes, nice electronics, nice cars, etc... Material possessions are important to me. Like I said though, I bond emotionally with my possessions in a way that I don't think is too common or normal. If I know I need to save money, I can do it.
-People often say I'm very generous. I like to share things with others that I think they would appreciate, such as food, music, etc... However, I'm very private regarding my music collection, as I listen to some styles that I don't know how others would react to (I like romantic music, probably because it has so much feeling, which I crave in my everyday life but currently lack).
-The most important things to me in the world are my family and God. I am not extremely religious, but my faith has helped me tremendously, as well as the support of my family. I value these far more than any friendships. I think I would also value a relationship very highly.
-My goals in life are to be both financially and emotionally successful. I want to raise a happy family.
-I love to help people with their problems. It personally satisfies me a great deal. People often feel bad that I am taking time to help them, but I'm more than happy to help, most often with no compensation. At the same time, I'm reluctant to ask others for help because I feel it is rude. Hahah.
-I'm very organized... in my mind. My room isn't usually neat, but in my mind, I know where everything is. On my cluttered desk, I can always find that one piece of paper I need.
-I don't know if I'm more abstract or concrete. I like math, and I'm in a math-oriented major, but I also don't mind discussing abstract things. However, I hate theoretical computation and science. To me, sciences and math should study things that exist, not things that might exist. I don't mind discussing potential existence of things, though. That can be interesting.
-I need alone time to recharge. If friends nag me to go out with them on weekends, I sometimes go, and I'm not happy. I sit in a room, browsing my phone next to the couple of other introverts there, while everyone else is talking up a storm and drinking like crazy. It's all just noise to me. I never get bored when I'm alone. BUT, I have to be around people sometimes, and I wouldn't like it at all if I were the last person on Earth.
-I get along very well with children and animals. I feel very connected with animals, especially, and I don't know why. I just like how they are free of prejudice and worries. Their carefree nature makes me smile.
-I have an innate need for security. When I'm in a seedy location, I get pretty nervous. I like to know that I am in a safe area around people who will not likely do me any harm.
-I am usually cautious. I don't do anything very risky, and that includes activities, social events, etc... If there is a chance that this thing could compromise my physical self or my values or my reputation, I don't take part.
-And that leads me to reputation. I am very concerned with how people see me. I look in the mirror before I leave for class. I'm not quite as bad as I used to be, but I'm still very aware of how I walk, how I talk, what I say, and how clothes fit me, among other things.
-I used to rate myself as having high self-esteem, and I still think I do have it. While I occasionally doubt my abilities, I would never hate myself. I love who I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
-I hate making enemies. In fact, I could count my "enemies" on one hand. That being said, I do hold grudges, and I remember things. I remember anything someone does to me that affects me emotionally (things most people would brush off and forget). So by enemies, I guess I mean I don't let people hate me, but I can hate others.
Well, that's it. Sorry, it's a lot of info. Consider yourselves lucky. You know more about me than anyone else in the world, besides myself. You couldn't get this info from me in real life if you tried. I wouldn't even tell my family most of this. But anywho, thanks in advance for your insights. I just want to get a better idea of how to look at life and how to move forward.
By the way, I'm probably going to proofread this post twice or thrice. You shall find no typos :)