Once I thought I was an INFP, but no more?

Once I thought I was an INFP, but no more?

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  • 1 Post By Rusalka

This is a discussion on Once I thought I was an INFP, but no more? within the What's my personality type? forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; Ever since the massive change in my life known as dorming at college for four out of the seven days ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    Once I thought I was an INFP, but no more?

    Ever since the massive change in my life known as dorming at college for four out of the seven days in the week, as well as the other change of being forced to adapt to being around people almost constantly and working in a highly-objective field (biology), I can no longer see myself as an INFP. Even during the summer and before, I could not fully understand why other INFPs seemed so concerned with ethics, and right and wrong, while I seemed to be the direct opposite. I did not relate to them incredibly well, but I didn't relate to INTPs completely, either. What kept me tentatively labeled INFP was my emotional instability and wonderful ability to be overwhelmed with anxiety when I felt conflict afoot, or when some kind of question about the universe or myself went unanswered and filled me with massive doubt. Now, I don't care much about conflict, I mainly become angry and cold at whoever is pissing me off or obviously showing they don't care about me. I've usually just become cold to people in the past to get attention or to show that I'm angry, though. It's a tactic that works, and has always satisfied my anger for the short while that it lasts.

    I have a decent understanding of the functions, and I honestly can't figure it out. I can tell you I have always used Ne, and lately I've been using a lot of Si because of so much information overload and an inability to connect how my life is now, to how it was when all the information had been processed well, and I had a clear understanding of everything, and I was sure of everything. Part of the problem is, I don't see myself as objective enough to fully label myself. I've asked a few friends familiar with Myers-Briggs, and they have come up with INXX, which is pretty much where I got. On tests, I've gotten INTJ and INFJ, but that seems pretty irrelevant to the functions, so I changed to INFP because the functions at that time seemed more accurate.

    The only conclusion I can reach on the assumption that I am still INFP is that I am developing inferior functions as a way of adapting and totally squashing whatever Fi I have. I've experienced depersonalization and derealization somewhat ever since the summer, becoming lost and scared and unaware of how I got here. It's like my mind shut off since 2009, and here I am! Sometimes, I also get jamais vu around my family. I try to not worry about it anymore, since I have more immediate problems, such as college and work. Worrying about it will only cause me to spiral into emotional instability and possibly a mental asylum out of clear desperation for some kind of answer or explanation for what is occurring.

    Honesty, authenticity, a solid and sure knowledge of myself, routine, a clear perspective of where I am heading, an ability to connect everything together in a way that makes sense, and finding out the objective truth are most important to me mentally.

    There are so many things I could talk about, but I'm really not sure where to start (Ni? supposedly an inferior function for INFPs?). Unfortunately, I haven't had the patience to put all of my thoughts into something coherent, mainly because I know no one in my life offline would understand anything I am talking about. Also, I really should be studying for my genetics exam this weekend. If someone could give me some feedback and finally give me a direction, that would be amazing. My type has always bothered me, and I've never been sure of anything. I am pretty sure, though, that my enneagram is 6. Not sure about the wheels, I've never really been that interested in enneagram, but it would be cool if someone advised me about that, too. Thanks.
    Last edited by Rusalka; 11-13-2010 at 03:31 PM.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I see INFP. You state that you do not understand why other INFPs seem so concerned with ethics. At the same time you mention authenticity as one of the most important things to you.

    It would be helpful if you could relate to us if there is any thing besides the things about ethics that makes you believe you are not INFP. Also, maybe if you describe how you understand Fi, we could see if there is any disagreement on how we view the functions...

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    I don't understand Fi. I don't see how I can have a dominant function of something I don't entirely understand. Ethics... have always seemed to me to be an argument of what is "right" and "wrong," which are terms I do not really use anymore in my description of the world or people. That is what I associate Fi with. I also had a theory that Fi was more like the subjective abstraction of all my memories that relate to certain emotions into huge conglomerate fantasies. It's hard to explain.

    I say I don't believe I am INFP because I feel much colder than other INFPs I see on the boards. I don't know if it's my field, or the company I keep, but I am always overly skeptical, harsh, and cynical unless something really makes me let go of my preconceptions and lets me express pure, undiluted, nonjudgmental emotion and empathy.

    Even if I don't have their functions, I spent some time on the INTP forums and it just seemed more similar to myself, or at least, who I am trying to think like and who I become when I am away at college and swarmed with work. I have always envied NTs greatly, ever since I found out about Myers-Briggs .

    To elaborate very quickly on the "who I become at college" thing before I go to bed: I mean I totally tune out my emotions and suppress complete "personal" awareness, as to not burst out crying after being in a reverie of memories and thought. :/
    penchant thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Rusalka View Post
    To elaborate very quickly on the "who I become at college" thing before I go to bed: I mean I totally tune out my emotions and suppress complete "personal" awareness, as to not burst out crying after being in a reverie of memories and thought. :/
    Maybe you're adapting to become more socially accepted right now as you're in college? I'd wait until you're out of college and working in your field to realize more of who you are.

    I'd say by what you posted so far you are an INFP.

  6. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I think that it might be possible to not understand ones dominant function, either due to circumstances making it difficult to relate your own thinking to the descriptions, or simply because of descriptions so far haven't been worded in a way which resonates with your understanding of yourself. Then of course it doesn't help that Fi is hard to understand generally anyway - even Jung found it hard to see how Fi-dominants could really function.

    Especially you saying that you understand Fi as black-and-white ethics, and yourself not using that kind of thinking, makes me think that your perception of Fi might be the problem here. Fi is not about binary value thinking. Your other theory might be more to the point, but also reminds me of Si. For an INFP that is of course expected, since they are both Fi and Si.

    I think it could probably be said that a Ti user would be more inclined to use linear logical reasoning in ethical questions than a Fi user. Ti, which is the INTP introverted rational function, uses internal structured reasoning to make judgments. This reasoning could still be about ethical questions - the difference between the functions is not in what they are interested in, but in how their thinking about things is different even thinking about the same problem or question.

    Maybe this is not releveant, but it also is almost certainly the case that the INFPs on this forum is the group with the largest number of mistyped people. Just being generally shy, introspective, sensitive and less organized than you'd like to be doesn't make anyone INFP, but it's easy to think so if you know very little about MBTI.

    It sounds like you find your situation in college to be difficult for you, and that you do not really feel that you fit in, but still it makes you function in a more NT way, in order to try to adapt. It also seems reasonable to think that the fact that you look up to INTPs, which is common to some INFPs, makes you want to be one too. And since Fi and Ti are not that different functions, and both being introverted making it hard for someone else to judge how you use them, you could probably pass as INTP at times, and also make yourself think that you are one, since you do not actually see how the INTPs use their Ti.

    However, that you say that you let go of the cynical attitude when being more comfortable, and also the emotional bedtime struggles you mention from college, makes me think that you are INFP. In the first case, being comfortable you let your auxiliary Ne loose, and become more creative, and in the second case it is your Fi and Si working together as you introvert and introspect.

    One difference between INFP and INTP, and this is something you might be able to observe, could be that an INTP will have more trouble with social graces, relying mainly on Ti, and human interaction not being strictly logical, but this is also very much a matter of acquired skills, so this is really a very weak point...

    These links might help, or they might not...
    Personality Types Under Stress
    https://personalitycafe.com/articles/...disorders.html
    INTP and INFP differences
    https://personalitycafe.com/infp-foru...tps-infps.html

    ps. also your signature seems clearly more fitting for an INFP than an INTP...


     

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