First question you asked:Neither sound like paradise [which does not exist]. I'd rather have the second, though I am worried that it will never happen. ...A magical fairy has just landed on your computer. (She's magical, okay? She's not one of those non-magical fairies.) She's going to give you two options. Which of these would you rather have?
1. Have someone acknowledge your intelligence, listen to your ideas, think things through, and ask questions that could help improve your ideas. And with this option, you also get to have a good reputation with the people around you. Your lifespan is also extended for one year (during which you will not need to work, as you'll keep finding hundred-dollar bills in the street) as long as that year is used for study in one of your interests.
2. Have someone understand your feelings, be there for you, and be able to each know that the other cares for the things in the universe and their needs, and love you for who you are, whether as a friend or romantic interest. (This person will also live exactly as long as you do, so that neither of you has to deal with the other's death.) You will easily see yourself in a good light.
Now... I know they both sound good, but which sounds like paradise?I have to say probably 1 to this question. I -want- to satisfy and please others, a lot, but at the same time that's only the others that I've accepted as part of my peer group, so to speak. For the vast majority I just don't care. Both are acceptable, really. ... I'm not sure if I've understood the second question. [?]We all come up with a variety of goals. Some goals are easy, some goals are fun, some goals get accomplished, some don't, and some drive us nuts. But which goals of yours get you into trouble? Which make you end up doing something that doesn't feel like your usual self, yet you really want to do? Which end up awkward or make you feel like you're floating in midair and not on your home turf?
1. The goals that involve goals. When I want to get something big done, maybe directing people to do something. It doesn't sound like me, but I end up in odd little situations in which I have these weird whims, like I want to actually get something done.
2. The goals that involve my reputation and dealings with other people. I want to satisfy and please others. I'm not too keen on the trendy kind of stuff, but I might go to a little bit of effort to make a few friends and fit in. Just don't expect much, because if something doesn't make sense, I am NOT going along with it. And that gets me in trouble... strangely.
Of course, I am interested in the puzzle you're making, so I have kind of a vested interest in fouling it up, which makes it a little difficult to tell if I'm being entirely autonomous, but I try. :)