I know doubting yourself is apparently not a very INFJ thing to do, but I've been reading some things lately that made me question myself again. I filled out the questionnaire from the other thread, but I wrote a lot, so I'm sorry for all the reading. Here it is:
1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Iíve currently started seeing a psychologist because of sporadic depression periods and also possibly (social) anxiety, but havenít been officially diagnosed with anything. I take no medication. Iím female, 21.
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
I prefer the first picture. It was a calm ocean at sunset with some northern lights in the sky. Very harmonious in setting and colours; I love the atmosphere it gives off.
3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
I would describe myself as a generally calm person who can be a bit shy in the beginning but warm up when I get comfortable around people. I really open up, laugh and make jokes a lot, but am usually concerned about others wellbeing. I canít let go and enjoy myself honestly/feel comfortable unless I know everyone else is fine too. If someone has a problem I usually offer to help or listen, if they need and want it. I would also say that Iím quite fearful; Iím afraid of a lot of things and donít see myself as a particular special person or with any truly strong points (earlier when I thought about how to answer this, I somehow thought Simbaís daughterís words were pretty accurate for how I see myself ďI may not be brave or strong or smartĒ. Sorry, I know itís cheesy ^^í). Iím not afraid of things others might be though, like performing on stage or moving countries. Iím also not particularly confident and have low self-esteem; this is partly why I feel like I donít trust my own judgment. Iím quite timid when I meet new people unless I already know that I can connect to them on some level, e.g. a shared common interest. Additionally, I prefer to listen and observe instead of talk. Iím in my head a lot. I can, but Iím trying not to, be sensitive to criticism and am usually very sensitive to other peopleís mood and easily get concerned when I can tell someoneís not well.
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?
I would like to be more confident, in myself and how I present myself to others. I feel like this would somehow make it easier for me to not get into my depressed moods (since a lot of it has to do with self-hatred, I think). It would be a sign that Iíve overcome my self-dislike and accepted my bad traits. It would also make it easier to be social and make friends, something Iíve always struggled with. Iím kind of cringing while I write this since Iím afraid Iíll sound conceited, but I also feel that more confidence would make me more likeable and less socially awkward.
I wouldnít want to be a bitter, lonely and sad person. Itís possibly one of the worst things I can imagine someone to be. I used to, and still am sometimes, afraid that I will become that way but Iím really trying not to. I know that if I hadnít become aware of it, I would be more in that direction than I am now. As for the why, itís what I know would happen to me if I didnít actively try to work on and develop myself further as a person. If thereís one thing I donít want to be above all else out of those three things, it would be lonely up top.
5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
I do think thereís a difference in how Iím perceived by different groups of people vs myself. Iím usually fairly quiet around my family and theyíve obviously known me for a long time. I daydreamed a lot as a kid and never was able to grow out of it completely, so I do think they see me as a Ďhead in the cloudsí type of person as well as being bad with day to day practicalities or simple tasks (in this respect, thatís not how I view myself; it may take me a while to figure out how to do something specific but I always have this gut feeling of how to get it done and it does).
My friends see the more outgoing, fun-loving side of me. I feel more confident and myself around them than family (I still am at my most sarcastic and possibly insensitive around my sister though). I laugh at jokes and make some but still tend to be quiet when itís not about something I know and am passionate about.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Testand post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
I think I value honesty a lot. I also think kindness and understanding is important as well as wisdom and intelligence (though the latter ranking lower than the first values). Also independence, selflessness, caring about and accepting of others, so open-mindedness. These are the ones that come to mind now.
7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?
I take them as they come. I try to think of possible ways of how to proceed and am fairly good at keeping calm in stressful situations. If I plan ahead and something unexpected happens my brain does a short panicked hiccup but even then I can usually think of ways how to get out of a situation. If I didnít plan for it, I skip the panicked hiccup stage.
Hmm, maybe when my family moved countries a few years ago? I was pretty excited. Iím sorry, I canít think of any particular situation which describes the above, I think.
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Sorry, I think I accidentally answered it above. Hereís an example of a real life situation:
I can really only think of when I was stranded at a mid-stop airport with no parents and my younger sister when we were both minors. I was pretty sick and my younger sister has a way of taking charge when itís the two of us, so she mostly did what we needed to when we had to transfer terminals etc. The staff ended up sending us back and forth across the airport, both of us looking at the time because we didnít have much time to get on the plane. At some point my sister broke down crying in panic, right in front of this man we were talking to to help us. I donít remember how I got myself to get out of that haze I was in, but I stepped up to the desk and clearly (and probably rudely) told the staff we needed to get to this and this gate because our flight was leaving in 15 mins. They stopped joking around then and promptly showed us the proper gate. I donít think I ever felt fear throughout the whole thing, first because I trust in my sister and second because I knew I could get us out of there if I acted. I hope that helped.
9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
I think Iím usually quite relaxed and confident. I easily smile and talk to people about anything/ where the conversation takes us. I donít feel awkward at all and kind of feel contentment like a little sun or ball of energy in my stomach.
10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
I definitely prefer 1-on-1. I donít like being in the centre of attention, at all. I get really nervous and canít make eye contact. I still have that problem with only one person, but I donít feel so nervous. It also depends on if I know them well or not; in a group of close friends, I wouldnít mind, though my default in situations like that is to observe and listen. I still end up only talking to one person though instead of the entire table. It doesnít make me overwhelmingly nervous but it does cause a certain degree of discomfort sometimes.
11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
Society has a huge impact on how one perceives the world and themselves. Every culture has its good and bad points, but both really influence us. I donít mind social norms but there are things I wish people would question them more and not just follow them blindly, just because they exist or everyone else follows them. Values are tricky; theyíre personal but should be open for debate and change. I do find it annoying when people are too stubborn to see a different way of thinking or doing things, just because they feel they are and have to be right at all times. Customs and traditions are interesting; I really love to learn about the meaning behind them and what the purpose is, but again, just because they exist and have for a long time, doesnít mean they should continue to stay unchallenged, especially with ever evolving communities.
People are both good and bad, even if it's hard to remember sometimes. I try to remind myself of that whenever I'm confronted with someone who rubs me the wrong way.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I donít mind authority. I realise that people need it because it seems to be human nature to search for someone to look up to and guide them. Blind faith in authority is misplaced, but I do see the need for having it; but it also has to be recognised when someone in a leadership position isnít doing their job right and then itís good to challenge/replace them (with another leader or completely different system, who knows). I donít trust myself enough to voluntarily put myself into a leadership position; I donít really strive for it, but if I was offered it or knew I was supported and/or wanted as authority, I would do it. I donít personally need authority all the time, but Iím fine with someone taking charge.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
Order? Probably in all the stuff going on in my head, information-wise. My emotionsÖ arenít exactly orderly but not chaotic either. I donít feel emotions super strongly unless theyíre really intense (unfortunately mostly negative. In that case, it feels horrible and yes, chaotic). In my life, it doesnít manifest much, I think. I keep my study stuff in order, colour-coordinated and broken up in individual files on my PC. My room is a mess (Iíve been procrastinating unpacking my boxes for months. Iím internally cringing. I really want to sort it all and neaten up my room).
I donít use a planner a lot but Iím constantly setting myself reminders or make to-do lists because I forget things so easily.
14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
Probably rejection and being ignored? I feel like both happened a lot to me earlier in life and Iím now trying to change to show others and myself that I can be a better, good person. That I can be who I want to be. It probably shows in how nervous I get around new people and new friends, Iím always really scared that Iím being annoying or understood wrong and not really wanted.
15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
I guess I want to feel like my life meant something. I want to be really good at something and acknowledged for it, possibly because I feel like I havenít gotten much acknowledgment. I also want to be happy and balanced, because currently Iím not.
16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a.) I like to read a lot because I get to live the characterís lives. I also love talking to close friends. Reading makes me feel at peace and a lot more emotional than Iíd feel if I was by myself and not reading about someone else. Friends make me feel accepted and liked.
b.) Tense atmospheres, moody people and arguments. As soon as I can feel tension from other people it transfers to me, even if I was completely calm just moments earlier. Iím used to a zen-like state of emotion and much prefer it to the stressful feeling I get in addition to tension. Moodiness tires me out a lot; the people I know can switch moods and emotions so fast, itís hard and really tiring for me keep up, emotionally and mentally. I end up stressed and irritable. About arguments, same as tension. I really do like a harmonious environment, so I try my best to avert arguments when I see them coming, even if I appear like a doormat.
17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
In the beginning I had a bias toward wanting to be INFJ because thatís the result I got the first time around and I got INFP the next time (there were a few years of difference between these). I researched a lot and still doubt myself, but at this point I just want to know what my type is, no matter if Sensor or Intuitive, etc. Iíd like this self-doubt to go away. Plus, I donít really want to be a mistyped Ďimpostorí.
I did do a few function tests, but they were a lot, so Iíll just post the results I remember in order of frequency (highest to lowest): INFJ, INFP, ENFJ, ENFP, INTP, ISFJ. There may have been more but I donít remember. ISFJ turned up once, but it was the only Sensor type Iíve ever gotten, so it stuck out.
18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
I think I said it all ^^í
Thanks a lot for your help again and reading all of that :)