It's as straight as it goes-help type me. It's extremely likely I use Ti and Ni, but I do exhibit a fair amount other traits to other cognitive functions. I'll leave this blank so that you can read the stuff below in its raw entirety(I believe the most accurate inferences are inferred this way). I've considered multiple other formats, but I think this one is the most likely to work.
I've figured out how I can convey this, but I'll politely request; preferably I believe I can provide answers that can generate more thought for you if I'm the one answering questions; clarify certain areas I can't cover.
I have a longstanding, unfulfilled desire to experience vicariously, intense feelings(assuming safe), but I've never been able to commune with people well, and I've never known others' feelings. If they wouldn't judge me, I would ask my friends how they feel(be it emotion or thought-based; just the whole picture; which I will then try to cut off unlikely points from their answer) about each person, each event, each xyz(and pick apart their answer).
It feels like my brain and body has a wire; where I take a small amount of time to decide what I express outwards. However, my "feeling endurance" is very limited and I won't be able to control my laughter(say, the feeling is laughter).
Whenever I receive "relevant" information; information related to my current interest or preoccupation(quantum physics, existence, consciousness, psychology, life mysteries, space research, potentially extending the human species' life, and more of these stuff), I have to introvert; process it, pick it apart. I used to read different topics when I was younger, but the numerical value narrowed until it became limited to only these few, and other daily stuff that I have to deal with(health, how to xyz, etc). Though, I only started psychology when I had not much to do.
It's not accurate to say I can't trust anyone, but rather I have nothing to offer besides my ideas. I used to be a fair bit more outgoing; random(although this was to generate a reaction from others), and for a while after I entered middle school I was really high, though I hardly remember anything it felt like. I've been able to see others' thought processes and instinctual behavior(anger, discomfort, etc) very accurately(recently sharpened with psychology research), but I had never a clue what they felt positively(what is depicted commonly as contentment, excitement, etc...).
I have bad memory although I do remember certain stuff randomly, like homework. I frequently trip, knock into stuff, lose things(only to find them back after a while at home), and I don't remember many past events that happen after a time period of a month. Most things I forget once they lose relevance in my life.
I play, and am good at LOTS of strategy games like RTS, Hearthstone, Yugioh, Chess, etc. No one really shares these traits with me in my social environment though. I like mental stimulation a lot, and find myself able to plan into options that give me more options(wish for more wishes, heh). My thought process to solve a puzzle/problem/question/yougetthedrift is usually
Can I solve this puzzle/problem now with my understanding?
Yes > Are there more options? > Analysis > Carefully solve
No > Start from the very basics > Analysis > Gather many insights > Narrow down > Carefully test > Carefully Solve
I enjoy dabbling in the social realm; providing "random"(but carefully and quickly chosen ideas from a generated "relevant pool" that will generate a significant response) ideas and jokes. I'm also a great conversationalist, finding it hard to stop once I get rolling, and am told by my friends to "shut up"(jokingly). This spurt of energy does not last long(though I usually consider things like energy spent, potential troublesome responses, thus I don't really feel regret.
I have never felt despair before; nor has sadness lasted more than 50 seconds for me. I find myself wanting to feel things more often, more deeply than this constant state of "emptiness" that I feel(some alexithymic traits). I have many acquaintances, few friends, and 2 close friends that moved away(and contact stopped, though they were important to me at one point).
I have no identity, and this feels like my main source of emptiness. All I can identify are traits that I exhibit and infer from them; yet I feel absolutely nothing when I look inside myself. For example, when I see a prankster/philosopher/etc, I look at myself from afar; and I want to engage with myself, feel more of myself, but there's absolutely nothing I feel, and I ironically(but logically) feel frustration.
I take everything seriously. Every word I hear, everything I perceive(I miss lots of things in physical reality). I process every "mean" word people say, and react in the way that causes least trouble for myself in the future. Also, I'm in my [middle teen years], the moment when everyone is having relationships. I have no idea what they feel.
I've made sure every piece of information I typed here is accurate to my current disposition. I have no idea what I am. So I'll politely ask for your assistance in typing me.