Here we go again. Help me find my type, please!

Here we go again. Help me find my type, please!

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This is a discussion on Here we go again. Help me find my type, please! within the What's my personality type? forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; ...

  1. #1

    Here we go again. Help me find my type, please!

    1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?

    In some way, I relate to many personality types (although some more than others, definitely). In addition, I feel at least somewhat in touch with all of the cognitive functions that I find it hard for me to find in which order I use them.

    For a while, I had identified as an ISFP. However, I have been doubting that introverted feeling is my dominant function. I am self-aware and sensitive, sure. But Iím not sure that I use my emotions and morals to make my decisions. Well, I mean, I do use them, but I think I use objective data more. Also, I feel very detached from the feelings of others, I find empathizing to be extremely difficult. I just canít seem to understand the emotions of other people. But empathy might be an extroverted feeling thing, so Iím not sure.

    Also, I thought I was an ISTJ for a long time. But now I feel as though I use too much extraverted rather than introverted sensing. Hopefully you can get a better sense of which cognitive functions I use from the rest of my answers and help me figure it out.

    2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?

    I want to find my place in this world and what I should be doing to make my life as meaningful as possible. I would like to figure out how I can become happy and defeat my inner demons. I want to learn and experience a lot of different things before I die. I wish I could figure out what my best career fit would be, something that would have me make an adequate amount of money, bring out my strengths (if I have any), and bring me joy. I am not exactly sure why I yearn for these things. Maybe itís because I know I only have one life, I might as well make the most of it. Unfortunately, I donít usually live up to my ambitions.

    3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.

    Iím not sure when I felt like I was at my finest, but a specific time I felt pretty damn good was back in middle school, when I won the election for student council secretary. I was pleasantly surprised that enough people had voted for me to take the position rather than the other two contenders. It made me feel important. Usually I feel like trash, so that was a nice change for me.

    4) What makes you feel inferior?

    Nearly everything about me makes me feel inferior to others. Itís mostly personality-related although there are some aspects of my appearance that make me feel rather insecure. My mind makes me feel horrible, itís constantly pointing out all my flaws and undermining all my strengths.

    I have a bad tendency to compare myself to others, and as much as I hate to admit it, I feel bad about myself when other people outshine me at something I know I can do well.

    I also hate it when other people underestimate me, or put me down.

    5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)

    Well, I don't like having to make big decisions, especially not right away. I want a lot of time to think things through if I have to, and I would rather keep things open. I often put them off so long to the point that my options are very limited, unfortunately.

    I usually spend a lot of time thinking about the possible positive and negative consequences of the decision. Some other big factors that play into my decision-making are how it will affect me and others, what would be easiest and most efficient for me, and how I feel about it.

    6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?

    I guess my emphasis is on getting the project done. I would like to finish it in a manner that I find satisfactory, which is meeting all the requirements with as little work as possible. I like to have control over the outcome, and I tend to do all the work on the project myself because I am not naturally trusting of others. But if I have to work with a control freak, I become passive and let him or her take the reins, even though it bothers me, because I am too shy to say otherwise.

    7) Describe us a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?

    Once I was required to attend a swing dance that I really was not looking forward to, but I ended up having a lot of fun. My crush asked me to dance with him a couple of times, which felt very nice. Even though I was horrible at it, I lost my consciousness. My memory of it is great, and I can relive the moment in my mind.

    8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you (are you more prone to be hands on, to theorize, to memorize, etc.)?

    One of my favorite ways to learn new things is to ask a lot of questions. If someone tells me something, my mind is always automatically forming questions about what they said.

    If I am on my own and I do not have that option, I am more of a reader. I am definitely prone to memorizing, and I really like doing so. Another thing I enjoy doing is re-wording whatever I read in different ways in my mind, it helps me retain the information better.

    If it means anything, Iím not a very good listener. I donít do well in lectures because I find my mind floating in different directions while my teacher is speaking. I get lost in my thoughts during speeches and by the time I regain consciousness, I have a hard time figuring out what is going on. Similarly, for example, if I am learning about a favorite musician or band, I would prefer to read articles about them rather than watch their interviews.

    9) How organized do you to think of yourself as?

    Well, I am definitely not stereotypically organized. I never use a planner or calendar. I rely strictly on my memory for important events and assignments. My desk is filled with clutter and extremely unpleasant to look at. Even worse, I canít find my way around it and often lose things that are right in front of me just because they are hidden underneath garbage I have left. Itís the same story with my backpack, my closet, basically anything that holds a lot of my personal belongings.

    10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?

    I do both things. I suppose I am more on the research-oriented side, however, so I think I have a preference for looking for information that supports the new idea.

    11) Do you find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?

    I do not find harmony from either. I like to belong to a given group, but I donít make sure that everyone is doing fine in it. But following what I believe and being myself also does not bring me peace. Maybe Iím just too hard to please.

    12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?

    There are quite a few times when I accidentally blurted out something without thinking through it clearly, but I usually think before I speak. Most of the time, especially when I am conversing with strangers or people whom I do not know very well, I find it hard to figure out how to appropriately react, so I have to take time to think it through and I do not reply right away. Sometimes I even ask for help from my mother or a close friend to figure out how I should respond, or beforehand I ask them about possible things I might be asked so I can be prepared.

    I prefer group discussions because there is less pressure on me to say anything, but if I actually want to contribute to the conversation, I would rather have one-on-one communication because I find it hard to jump in on group discussions.

    13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?

    I tend to jump into action right away. Even though I generally put a lot of thought into my words, my actions are oftentimes faster than my mind. I believe that action speaks more than words because some people say a ton of things without really meaning it, and break a lot of promises. With actions, I think it is easier to see someoneís true intentions.

    14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?

    I would most likely go out with my friends. My favorite show can wait, I can record it or catch a rerun of it soon, but I might lose this opportunity with friends if I do not seize it now. If I end up getting bored, I can always fake an excuse and watch my favorite show, but I would prefer to at least give hanging out with my friends a try.

    15) How do you act when you're stressed out?

    I can be very difficult when I am stressed out. My patience is very low and I am rather snappy with everyone around me. I have a difficult time hiding this feeling. I usually listen to music when I am stressed out as an attempt to feel better, and it almost always works, after a while.

    16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?

    Hard to say, but I dislike those who are disrespectful. I dislike those who are shallow, and extremely judgmental because of it. I dislike those who are arrogant and pretentious, especially when they do nothing to back up their high opinions of themselves.

    In general, I feel like I compare most people to some sort of ridiculous standard that makes me expect too much from them, but end up disappointed.

    17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?

    I really like discussing music in general. I love talking about rock and metal music the most, and the conversation would last longer with me when it comes to those topics, since those are my preferred genres. But I am open to learning about the music tastes of others, I find that information to be very interesting. How their preferences came to be, that kind of stuff. I also highly enjoy asking people how they would rate certain songs (usually some of my favorites, or tracks I would recommend to them based on their tastes) on a scale of 1Ė10 and why, simply finding out what people think of certain songs and bands.

    If I am making new friends, especially online, I also like learning a lot about their personal lives. I like hearing about their pasts, what they were like in school and how their family lives are. Sometimes my questions can be a bit deep and touch sensitive issues, like abuse and bullying. I also like hearing what their daily lives are like, trying to imagine them in my head from the details they tell me.

    18) What kind of things do pay the least attention to in your life?

    I donít pay much attention to people I do not know, especially celebrities. I also pay almost no attention to nature, fashion, and my health.

    19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? What would your friends never say about your personality?

    I feel like my ďfriendsĒ in real life only get a superficial view of my personality. They usually only describe me as smart, hardworking, kind, and quiet. I see their reasoning behind using these adjectives (though some are debatable, like ďsmartĒ), nothingís wrong with it, but they just seem soÖ generic.

    My close online friends have a better understanding of my personality. They would not describe me as quiet, thatís for sure, but they do know that I am an introvert in real life and reference it in our conversations. They also would not call me kind, theyíve seen a rather uncaring and even mean side about me. Iíve actually been called annoying, or even an asshole. They perceive me to be cynical, nihilistic. Similarly to my real life friends, most of my Internet friends would agree with the descriptor ďsmart,Ē a couple probably think Iím ďhardworkingĒ as well. But in contrast, I openly show them my stupidity, so I have been called an idiot and similar terms by them quite a lot as well. I let them know about my inability to understand social cues, which caused one of them to describe me as dense, for example. I can also see where they are getting all these perceptions, so I donít think thereís anything wrong with it.

    20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

    I think that I would like to get in my car for a spontaneous road trip and listen to my favorite metal music while I drive, possibly catch up on listening to albums that I have not yet heard, but are on my to-do list. I would like to stop at a lot of different and interesting restaurants that I had never eaten at before. I would spend most of my time driving, looking at new places.

    If you have any follow up questions, feel free to ask and I will try to answer them. Please forgive me if I have any follow up questions for you.

  2. #2

    I think that you are ISFP in Fi-Ni loop. I suggest you reading these threads: and

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by The red spirit View Post
    I think that you are ISFP in Fi-Ni loop. I suggest you reading these threads: and
    Thanks for the response! So, an ISFP in a Fi-Ni loop is basically a depressed ISFP?

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaune Valjaune View Post
    Thanks for the response! So, an ISFP in a Fi-Ni loop is basically a depressed ISFP?
    These two are different things, but they happen at same time. I don't know this for sure, but you can ask in ISFP forum. Ferro should know the answer.
    Unsainted thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaune Valjaune View Post
    Thanks for the response! So, an ISFP in a Fi-Ni loop is basically a depressed ISFP?
    I would say Fi Ni loop as well. However im not too insistent that the loop immediately entails someone is depressed (i would say dropping into the id / 5th function is where one might officially want to call themselves, depressed lol). Perhaps they are pending for one if they stay there too long before getting back to an extrovert function, but for the most part i think it's comparatively the same as looking at a cat who sleeps all day. Not fair to say depressed or unhealthy yet as opposed to just marinating in oneself and doing/being in something they are familiar with or prefer, that's how i look at it. For an introvert though, I think looping within oneself will be more common, and natural, rather than for maybe an outgoing and mostly exuberant extrovert it may be something more to look into. But, pretty sure you're not an extrovert.

    Between ISTJ and ISFP, I think you're an ISFP. I can smell Se. xD
    The red spirit and Unsainted thanked this post.

  7. #6

    @The red spirit Thank you for the suggestion. Maybe I will ask it there, although I think you and Juiz explained it well.
    @Juiz Thanks for the elaboration!

    Well, I'm not sure if you guys can answer the question, but what about me is "Ni" rather than, say, "Ne"? I've always had difficulty differentiating between the two.
    Juiz thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaune Valjaune View Post
    @The red spirit Thank you for the suggestion. Maybe I will ask it there, although I think you and Juiz explained it well.
    @Juiz Thanks for the elaboration!

    Well, I'm not sure if you guys can answer the question, but what about me is "Ni" rather than, say, "Ne"? I've always had difficulty differentiating between the two.
    Well when one can smell Se, they are essentially smelling Ni as well. Since Ne can only be paired with Si, and you dont wreak of Si much.

    For an ISTJ, Si paired with inf Ne basically makes them a library of the mundane, experiential world in a timeless format. This means they take into account details that stretch as far as the traditions may go (though it isn't just "traditions" but it is often correlated to it since Si users like to keep referencing the past moreso than Se users). Si likes history, how-things-used-to-be, earthy pleasure, sentimentality that "brings them back" and keeps something that once was alive, still alive. Se on the other hand, which is paired with Ni, is more momentary and present. It is here and now, the "general" take-in of sensory input and appeal. Se Ni users like ISFPs aren't as much into the softer aspects of experiencing enough to constantly bring them up again even once passed, but they are more into things that can arise a "strong" stimulation now rather. Se is the masculine to Si's feminine, it's more edgy, yang, external, outward focused/moving while Si is a bit more subtle, yin, internal, receptively inclined. You say you like rock and metal music, which is more Se. I'm not gonna say Si won't ever or doesn't ever appreciate rock and metal. Lol But the essence of what rock and metal are is representative of a "visionary", of a "rebel", of something wanted or expressed for the heck of it because it is there and it can be progressed or lifted higher. That's because Ni hones in on the underlying essence, or one possible idea, enough to make it "potent" and "profound/loud" thanks to Se. Maybe it would be different depending on lyrics or something but Si users will draw back a bit to the elements that make them feel comforted, or grounded in something they are already familiar with or at least alludes to that. Se Ni users are more in the flow of what is trendy, another way to tell, while Si users like to stick to a signature look or feel that they know has worked in the past and is "good enough" to keep doing. I've known plenty ESFP and ISFP peeps who were into the latest fashions, like the LATEST fashions of a pop culture or group of people they respect, and not the things you'd probably pick out in the monumental teen girls section of Khol's. A little weird of a comparison but that is how I view Se Ni vs Si Ne. Ofc, like said for the music stuff, Si users can and may dress along the trends but you can tell they aren't making an arrival of a statement as much as they are trying to apply the same motifs that enhances their previous statements... does that make sense. One is more in the now, plainly, while the other is trying to haul the past along with them and be more conservative (or "collective"). Se goes for effect, Si goes for preservation. Se consumes and expends on sensory appearance, Si tries to attach to it. Se is tiger rugs and jet black outfits; Si is pink fluffy socks and hot cocoa. (Bit of an exaggeration but perhaps those are dom Si/Se comparisons rather than aux.)
    Last edited by Juiz; 09-05-2016 at 07:22 AM.
    Unsainted and The red spirit thanked this post.

  9. #8

    @Juiz That is a very useful explanation, thank you!
    Juiz thanked this post.

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