I had the whole post typed up plus an intro but I'm literally too pissed and tired to do it again word for word, so here's the questionnaire (again). Sorry for curt sentences, I still tried to be as informative and detailed as possible.
0.Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Iím very stressed out and tired at the moment because of a tonne of upcoming deadlines. For current state of mind, Iíll say anxious and distressed, caused by an event which caused me to write this (long story short, someone saw an MBTI video interaction with me and cut down my typing due to not seeing manifestations of the functions. I became so upset it completely froze my thinking capacity or ability to do anything but stand still and feel. Stupidly, the type Iíve been going by has become such an integral part of me that it hurts and tilts my view of me upside down, because through it and MBTI, I started liking myself and the way I think. I found a connection and a place among like-minded people. And I still believe peopleís opinions too easily, let self-doubt take root too quickly. And I canít let this go until I know for sure. I canít really focus on anything else, as melodramatic and dumb as all this sounds). Iím female, 23.
1. Click on this link: Flickr: Explore! Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
I canít copy and paste, so hereís the link https://www.flickr.com/photos/superw...re-2016-09-20/ (the photo is called ĎA Glorious Return To Veniceí).
In case you canít view it, itís a photo of a sunset/rise. Itís beautiful and rich in colour, the sky covered and stormy grays and blues, in clouds, and the water below like a mirror hinged on the axis of the horizon. Some pale yellow and soft, but still vibrant rosy-red break the monochrome of colour; itís a panoramic picture. Itís most likely a beach, the water still and covering most of the sand, a bit like liquid silver disturbed by slight ripples on the surface. Some of the reflected clouds look like faces of a sort. Off to the side are some cliffs, and a person with a dog on a leash. I wonder if they go there every day, if they make a habit to go early or just in time to witness the beautiful atmosphere. It all looks very calming and tranquil, serene. The quality of the picture is dream-like and magical which is what drew me to it. Iíd be content to look at it for a while, drinking in the colours. Bizarrely, my first thought without meaning to when I saw it was Ďbleeding colourí.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
Initial thoughts: Wait, is this really happening? Ok, what can we do to fix it? Is there anyone who has the know-how? Who can we call in case we canít fix it ourselves? I concentrate on the problem at hand, analysing and thinking it over, not letting the problem go until itís fixed. Worry about those who seem distressed. Later on, irrationally annoyed at the car for making us late.
Outward reactions: Quiet, thinking and analysing. May look nervous or apprehensive but really just in thought. Calming/comforting those who seem to be in need of it, reassuring them it will all be fine.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
Iím likely to be exhausted though happy, and ready to go home. But, if they really want to go, Iíll go with them because theyíre probably my friend and this will make them happy. Plus, theyíre my ride. I probably went out because I had no plans tomorrow anyway, so I can stay up until late. I might let them know Iím tired but assure them we can go. Besides, the party might be fun.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
Inwardly: Mildly irritated but still listening. I want to get as much of their complete view as I can in order to understand where theyíre coming from. Maybe I can learn something from them, or otherwise find something thatís inconsistent/ a misunderstanding.
Outwardly: If I still disagree, ask them why they think the way they do and diplomatically make the misunderstanding/inconsistency known.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
I would probably be torn between wanting to act and defend or being afraid of confrontation. If itís directed at someone else, Iím much more likely to have an immediate, emotional reaction and defend them as best as I can, when it threatens to escalate.
With myself, I experience at bit of irritation at the disagreement followed by careful evaluation whether I agree or not, my worldview shifting to accommodate, understand and expand itself. I like being in agreement with people and it distresses me when Iím not, so I strive to build my understanding of all kinds of opinions etc. to make my mindset as inclusive as possible.
With habits, well, a bit of surprise, at the most. I usually take things that are different from the norm or whatís expected in a stride.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
Not really aware of my values to be honest. They shift and change constantly, with every person I interact, with everything I hear, or read, or learn. Constant ones are honesty, I suppose though I can understand why someone would lie and when itís excusable, and the belief of Ďtreat others the way you want to be treatedí.
The latter probably stems from not having been treated particularly well as a child and me wanting to counteract that, thinking if I was respectful and polite towards others, they would be nice to me too. I want to be liked, and I worry about acting in ways that will make me unlikeable. It used to be so bad that Iíd agonise and lose sleep over it, at times, especially in any relationships. Iím usually very accommodating of others feelings because of this.
Some social values are gender equality, lgbt+ rights and anti-racism. Weíre all human and deserve to be treated as such. These are unchangeable, but pretty much anything outside of these are subject to change as stated above.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
a.) How deeply and somewhat abstractedly I think, how introspective and self-reflective I am. How I will know things in advance without being able to give reason. How analytical and Ďlogicalí I can be one minute and how emotional I can be the next. I find myself to be somewhat inconsistent, not just in that but also how I act around people. Iím never really Ďthe sameí, I Ďfill in the gap of the one who is missing/neededí. My behaviour flows and moulds itself much like my values. I donít do it on purpose, it just happens, and Iím usually not even aware of it until Iím alone again. This can lead to me becoming a leader-type person even though Iím not naturally one, but I step up when no one else will.
b. + why?) Confidence. Iím beginning to appreciate the way I think but never felt confident in expressing any of it or my thoughts. I think if I did, maybe Iíd feel more confident and trusting in myself and how I see things/how I think.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
Theyíre consistent and present, like strong impulses that wonít go away, so I accept them. Somewhat warily because due to certain circumstances I didnít learn to trust myself until now very slowly, but I believe them nevertheless, always have though I didn't necessarily voice them; the few times I do, they're usually dismissed only to be confirmed later. I may not do anything about them because of this late learned trust, but Iím almost never surprised because of it. Iím learning that I do my best thinking when I trust them instead of analysing them; they begin to make sense without conscious effort, the answer is just there.
Anything can trigger them. Around people, itís like a blaring alarm if they seem off. Otherwise, itís like sudden lightning or like the information subconsciously collecting in my mind is gathering into a puzzle, the last piece falling into place and revealing the complete picture, the solution I need/an idea/an insight. The Ďlightningí can be triggered by any information from anywhere, from reading, seeing, hearing, anything.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a.) I like engaging and stimulating my mind by learning something Iím interested in (like language or something theoretical) or, and this might sound weird but it also engages my analytical side, though in a different way, puzzles. Especially those chain ones that consist of several pieces being twisted up in one another. Those things can occupy me for hours. The energising or reward I get out of is really when I finally solve it or when I get a sudden insight, like above. Otherwise, I really like singing/acting on stage for the adrenaline rush. For relaxing interests Iíll put reading, writing, and drawing. They also sort of energise me but in a relaxing sort of way, if that makes sense. And, I love talking with friends. I can do it for hours without getting tired, even visiting and doing stuff with them doesnít tire me much, though eventually I will want a bit of space back.
b.) prolonged socialising and being outside in general (though people seem to drain my batteries faster than just, say, going to the mall by myself or for a walk). Also, dealing with very opinionated or very emotional people. The former, because when I say opinionated, I mean those who use such an aggressive tone that immediately makes me want to disagree and they annoy the hell out of me, and the latter because my emotional state changes and adjusts according to those around me; keeping up with them really wears on my mental and emotional energy.
Why? Iím very much on the introverted side, so I tend to spend much time by myself. Not just because I enjoy it but also out of necessity, especially when I spent more time than anticipated outside/with other people. I can disappear for days without contact to anyone. I also tend to avoid things that could get me emotional because itís easy for me to get emotional, especially around people. I like feeling calm and even-keeled, and if I donít go out with that mindset wrapped around me like armour, itís easy for me to lose the calm I strive for. I only very rarely experience extreme emotion though. I call myself emotional, but emotional people in my life call me mellow.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
I suppress very little. I do value a tight hold on my emotion as Iím the older child of two, and always felt I had to keep myself in check in order to be mature. I think I became more outwardly emotional starting in my early teens, so since then itís been a push and pull between being calm or emotional. Ultimately, my emotions overpower my rationality (and I do consider myself a pretty rational person) more often than I can keep it in check. I may be able to suppress it for a short while, but Iím not good at hiding it. People seem to be able to easily tell if Iím feeling nervous for example.
My internal thought process isnít something I try to hide or have to. Since itís all subconscious, there isnít much I can say or offer apart from the final solution anyway, and I usually donít say anything unless prompted or no one else is saying anything.
If you have any more questions, please ask. Thank you so much reading all this and your help.