This was an emotionally charged discussion from both sides, each with its own reasoning and feelings.
That said what judging functions do A or B seem to be using? Who is Ti/Fe or Fi/Te or are they using the same functions?
A: I?ve been Jane Smith all my life and can think of no reason to change my surname just because I?m married.
B: It?s a normal and expected thing to do. You?ve decided to keep your surname out of vanity.
A: Yes, I admit that it is vanity but only if you admit that it is vain for men to want to pass their surnames to their wives and children.
B: It?s not vain because it?s normal. You see, parts of society will judge a man whose wife insists on keeping her own surname. They will judge him for being ?less than a man?.
A: It?s normalised vanity. Let?s ignore how ingrained in society it is and get to the very base of it. Why do you think it was decided that a woman should take her husband?s surname? At least admit it was for vain reasons.
B: It might have started off for vain reasons but now it?s just normal. You?re rebelling by not changing your name. It?s like you?re trying to be macho or something.
A: I?m sorry that you see wanting to keep one?s surname as a ?macho? male desire. It?s a human thing to want your name to go on or to even take pride of it. Why is it OK for you to keep your surname and have your wife take it and for that not be seen as pride, but when I simply want to keep mine, it?s an act of rebellion?
B: Because it?s how society does it. You ARE rebelling and people will judge you for it. I don?t mind if you want to keep your surname, but I?d be lying if I said I wouldn?t feel good if you took mine. I don?t feel strongly enough for it to be a dealbreaker. I have my own opinions and it won?t be changed. It?s just how society works.