Let's do this questionnaire thing :
Tell me about yourself.
I have no idea of what this question is supposed to entail, I hate when it comes up on work related interviews or when I'm introduced to someone new. I guess it's because "Show, don't tell" it's one of my mottos, also "an image is worth a thousand words". This is vague and too broad, but let me try: I'm a person who is focused on bettering myself and in order to do that, I need to figure myself out from a psychological standpoint, and after years of research in the area of typology and observation (lurker here) I have decided that Socionics is the best tool available to help me with that. As difficult as it is to face all the things about myself I kept buried and maybe ain't even aware of, I'm 100% willing to "scab the wound" so to speak in order t get the bottom of this. I need to know how I work in a structured way, what makes me tick, where am I soft, what is holding me back? This questions have been keeping me up at night for a long time now, and I need it to stop.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I work in the entertainment field and I study things in this area (singing, dancing, music theory, photography), as well as languages and human sciences like psychology, philosophy and typology. This last batch I do on my own though, I don't have the time for collage or anything like that at the moment. My interests are actually the same I had as a kid or an early teen, I'm very constant and unchanging in this area, this things are a huge part f who I am and define me. I like everything about the things I do really, I only encounter problems in the environment or people I work with, not with my activities in itself.
What are your values, and why?
I'm not sure what "values" mean here, if it's related to morals/ethics or just things I find important. I'll go with the later 'cuz it's much easier: First of all, freedom in every form, of action, choice, expression but more importantly, freedom of being. I once heard that there's no freedom like the one of self acceptance and I agree with that, hence me getting into this self knowledge journey. How can I conquer the world if I can't conquer myself?
I value honesty in the sense of things and people being genuine, the concept of "truth" is central to my existence. Since I was a very young kid I remember wanting to know everything. I started "digging" with the best tool I had, my mind, and soon I realized I could trust it to get me the answers I needed. I've always been very observant and had a sixth sense so to speak, one that I only learned to trust in many years later. I figured people and situations out without even trying and that knowledge has both helped (saved many times, really) and burden me like an invisibility cloak my whole life. I value beauty in all its forms because it's vital to human existence, without it I can't even imagine the world, it's what gives me a sense f wonder, hope and one of the only things that can get to my core easily and make me cry without caring if anyone's watching.
I value loyalty, friendship and trust, because for all self sufficiency I try to embody and advocate for, I believe we are stronger together than apart, and the biggest gift a person can receive it's the gift of unconditional non-self serving love, and there's a part of me that has always craved for that sense of finding a home in other people, being part of a circle.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I work, study and when I have some free time, I distress using various activities. I enjoy having some time alone to do things like walking my dog around the block, walking by the river when the weather suits my tastes that day, visiting my favorite cafes to read or surf the web, trying out a new restaurant I read good reviews for, riding my bike and then stopping to take pictures or read under a tree, going to the movies, etc. I need this "me" time because I already spend most of my day not only working closely with people but also leading them, I need space and air to breath so I don't blow up at the wrong time.
When I get to see my friends I love going to noreabangs (sort of like karaokes) and singing my heart out in ridiculous ways, it's good to be silly and not to take myself seriously in an environment in which I feel safe. I also love playing games with them, I'm very competitive so things get heated and chaotic but it has been very therapeutic in terms of making me deal with losing, I can laugh at it now (I use to get so upset at losing at cards that I had to go cry in the bathroom, feeling stupid and humiliated at the same time, true story). Shopping and then getting ice cream...all very common simple things that many take for granted, but are treats for me and keep me sane.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
Again a question that is too broad (because I know many people), but let's see: I'm a very impatient and "demanding" (not verbally) person, so I get easily frustrated with carelessness, repeated mistakes, not doing what you said you'd do, showing up late, not behaving well in public, not pulling their weight, trying to lie or fool me in any way (specially if it's something that I see as unnecessary), trying to emotionally manipulate me or guilt trip me, trying to sweet talk me into doing things instead of asking directly, snooping around on my private business, being less than courteous to me...so many things.
On the sunny side: I love to feel loved, nothing better in the world so I appreciate it, being understood or at least accepted is also so valuable to me I can't even explain, being able to count on people and trust them if I need to, they get me to let loose and just enjoy myself, see new perspectives and soften up some edges, try new things, laugh at myself and life in general, basically not take things as seriously or literally as I'm prone to doing on my own.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I think I already answered the friend bit on previous question, so I'll do the romantic one: I've always been attracted and gelled with the same type really: the sensitive, affable, emotionally open and vulnerable, soft, a bit timid type, basically opposite of me. Someone calmer too, who can provide me with the things I can't provide myself, and who takes me as I am.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
Lately I haven't actually because I really have been putting the information I got from Socionics into practice, I typed my teammates, most of my friends and my family, so dealing with them is much easier, I find myself being more strategic and tolerant now, trying to understand their shortcomings and help them mature, it's a life saver.
I used to get into problems because of my "harshness" and "difficult temperament". Granted anyone (especially a woman) who isn't a dormant is seen as abnormal and in need to be tamed in this country, so I never took it to heart. I know what I want and need and I'll defend my interests and assert myself, you either take or leave it. I have a terrible hard time dealing with people who can't separate feelings from reason and insist in making everything personal and making scenes. Also, people prone to self victimization and whining tick me off.
How would your friends describe you?
Common terms include: analytical (depending on who you ask it's either "I know you'll help me figure this out" or "You think too much!!!"), headstrong, talented with words, passionate, surprisingly funny, negativist, too rebellious and contesting, (too) rational, radical in some aspects, too self doubting in others, implacable, skilled at outmaneuvering others, secretive, talkative, sometimes laugh at unfortunate times, good at doing impressions of other people, awkward in displaying affection, protective, generous with time and helpful, at times too uncompromising, do things depending on mood so unpredictable...that enough?
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I said most of it already, but other things include coming for me so I can advice them on people ("who I should trust?", "is he/she into me?", "why are they mad at me?", things like that) or important decisions ("which option should I take?", I help them see the pros and cons and probable consequences) or difficult situations they find themselves in ("how do I get out of this?"). I guess I'm as good at giving advice to others as I am at ignoring the ones they give me. Well to be fair they are almost always unsolicited.
I like that in a world of people who prefer to e profoundly unhappy to challenge the norm I own who I am and refuse to accept mediocrity and an ordinary and lukewarm life in exchange for security. In that sense, I think I'm quite brave.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
Here we go: I tend to doubt myself a lot in areas I have zero reason to and therefore create tension in myself and can't enjoy things, can be a control freak and fear the worse jumping out to the worst case scenario (sometimes I later on can see they were quite ridiculous). I used to neglect my health and then become hypochondriac at any sign of sickness i.e.
The fact that I'm so dependent on my mood and internal state to do things I have to but dislike it's a big frustration to me, my attention also seems to have a mind of its own and only really works on things I enjoy. Forcing myself to do boring or unpleasant things takes a lot of effort and keeping myself in constant vigilance, I become the opposite of how I am normally.
I also freaking hate and resent how fucking sensitive I can be, most people wouldn't believe it but I bruise easily, and ridiculously small things can offend me. When people manage to hurt me I can't help but feel pathetic and weak.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
In addition to things I've already touched on I enjoy and I'm good at dealing with technology. I like to figure out how to use gadgets and softwares o my own, I get the basics down really quickly and have fun exploring and tinkering with these things. My IEE mom and my SE friends really depend on me for this (too much I'd say, I get called upon at the most inconvenient times). Though I lack natural motivation to do it on a daily basis I can take care of myself very well by making good grocery shopping and cooking for myself, for example. I'm really good with money and other resources like time and contacts too.
I need help in dealing with my feelings, period.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I abhore house chores and have little patience for excessive formalities and bureaucracy. I love anything that makes me feel alive and awakes powerful enjoyable feelings, basically I can't stand pedantry and wasted time and value sense of abandonment and achievement.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
I wanna be very successful and mainstream in my field, and with that visibility and influence help take the trash out and kick the door open for the future. I've know what I wanted to be since ever, but I didn't know about the mission that came with it, I weirdly don't have any idea of when I came to realize it.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
Same thing I'm doing now, wouldn't change a thing.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
Shyness, it's my kryptonite. Can't stand rudeness and vulgarity, this whole "cash me out outside" Istafamous culture is a hell on earth for me. The fact that these bimbos are stupid enough to think that their vile self degrading ways are something to brag about and broadcast...no sense of dignity left in the new generation. I also can't stand vain, self important people, cockiness it's a crime to me. Also, immature people who refuse to grow up and own up to their actions.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
As I've said beauty is vital to my well being, and I enjoy attending to those matters myself. I can't do handiwork for shit, but I'm good at decorating, customizing and laying things out in an harmonious and eye catching way. Everything I do looks good, and I'm proud of that.
Daily chores are painful, so I try and arrange things so I get the least taxing ones, I go to lengths to get it even resorting to act cute, which I usually hate.
How do you behave around strangers?
Way too vague, it depends on the circumstances and my mood. Generally, I'm more guarded and quiet, trying to figure them out. Kinda "Who's there, friend or foe?" Buzz Lightyear style.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
Was born for it no problem, bring it on. I like to get feelings out in the open, hate to let issues unresolved, things unsaid. I don't back down, I don't back off, I don't put it off. If you slight me I'll slight your throat, I don't forgive disrespect or any sort of fuckery directed at me or my people.
What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
About me? I've been called "cold" and "tyrannical", which is ludicrous. I wish I was cold and I hate micromanaging people so that also falls flat. One thing that always happens is people having a preconceived image of me being arrogant and too strict/serious, and then after getting to know me saying I'm neither of these things.
What did you do last Friday?
Work, work, work, work...
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Recently I had some potentially serious health issues and I'm immensely proud of having handled them in a very calm, reasonable way. I used to fall into despair and become a child during these things, so I take it as a sign of evolving maturity. I'm also succeeding at letting go of my perfectionism and accepting not always getting optimal results without letting it ruin the experience for me. I'm much more comfortable at doing the best with what I have and adapting to setbacks, not sweating the small stuff. I'm happy with myself about these developments. I'm also better at asking for help and not feeling embarrassed when thanking people.
I guess I'm finally ok with being a work in progress. Personal betterment is the best
What is something you regret?
"Dropping" people because I had no idea how to interact with them after I got picked to live our common dream, and they didn't. One of them forgave me because they understood my fear, one resents me to this day and the other I never heard of again.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I want freedom and autonomy, with structure and optimal resources. Excitement, influence, impact.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
I take it when I have to because I'm usually the best person for the job, but contrary to what people think, I'm not a fan of the concept. If I already torture myself with my own expectations of myself, imagine the expectation of other people. I have very specific and rigid ways in which I want people to treat me, and when I don't get that I get disappointed and can't overlook it or adapt to it.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I went back to my home country for a short while recently. I did simple but very meaningful things: had barbecue with my friends and relatives, had a luau with my old choir friends, went swimming with my cousins and baked with my grandma. I loved it, but the intensity of my love for them hit me full force unexpectedly and it kinda broke me for a bit. Thankfully my grandma beat some sense into me and sent me off with a stronger resolve.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
I was a loud social butterfly, super open and fearless, quite exibicionist and very trusting. Don't know where that kid went, oh wait I do: a decade of cruel emotional hits do that to a person. I think I've already described myself enough to paint an accurate current picture.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Oh the methods are many and varied, I'll use whatever I have to. It's a delicate art, so you have to be flexible.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
I am except for relationships that are not a business or practical nature. Other people approach me and make efforts to get close, I'm utterly out of my depths in this area. I just can't put myself out there in the area of feelings, it's the only way I'm passive. After the relationship has been established I become "the leader" in terms of making the decisions, and wear the pants in romantic ones.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
I'm Choleric/Sanguine so it happens pretty frequently, but it's seldom serious. I have some quotes that exemplify my work and life philosophy, whenever people fail to adhere to its ideas it ticks me off: "You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs", "If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen", "If you're gonna do something you better make it right", "You made your bed now lay on it".
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
I find these search for the purpose of life (in itself, not individual) to be utterly ridiculous and reductant: the purpose of life itself it to live it, not dissect it. We're here to be happy and help ourselves (and each other) mature as the spiritual entities we are. Nothing more, to have the experience.
Life itself is meaningful, everything in it
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
I love taking care of it, I love studying fashion and how can I present myself better in accordance to my natural design. Which colors look good with my complexion, which hairstyle complements my face shape etc, I'm quite knowledgeable about these things. I don't like to mess with my looks too much, some variation is needed but within tasteful limits. I read fashion magazines and things like that, but I don't follow trends, I have my own style.
Do you like surprises?
Hate them with a passion. Of course some of them are positive, like a surprise b-day party or good news at work, but I generally don't like the lack of control and choice they leave me with.
Is there anything else important about you that we should know?
That I'm grateful for any useful input that comes out of this.
Now excuse me while I recharge myself, all this self reflection has been pretty taxing to me