I'm bad at socionics

I'm bad at socionics

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This is a discussion on I'm bad at socionics within the What's my Socionics type? forums, part of the Socionics Forum category; Personal concepts 1. What is beauty? What is love? Abstract concepts whose definition varies greatly from person to person. Beauty ...

  1. #1

    I'm bad at socionics

    Personal concepts
    1. What is beauty? What is love?
    Abstract concepts whose definition varies greatly from person to person. Beauty can be either an emotion or a visual aesthetic. Love is a purely romantic emotion but people tend to experience it alongside lust. You don't have to though.

    2. What are your most important values?
    I've never written out some sort of list of values so I can't really remember them all at once. I only think about them when they're relevant to whatever I'm doing. Some of the ones I can think of right now are honesty, compassion, loyalty, acceptance and understanding, communication, patience, humility, and good work ethic.

    3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
    No. I just don't. I'm not religious, I'm not an atheist, and I'm not agnostic. I am N/A. I find it so boring I can't be bothered. You either believe in that sort of thing or you don't, it can't be forced. And I don't. If you do, that's great and I'm not going to argue with you.

    4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
    It's stupid and trivial but society is so large that I can't think of any other alternatives or solutions. I don't think power is just about physical strength, but also one's social standing/prestige, family, occupation, and, of course, money.

    Interests
    5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
    It's not about the topic as much as the conversation partner. I can talk about something I love with someone I don't care about for 5 seconds, and something I don't care about with someone I love for 5 hours. But anyway... the easiest conversations for me to have are ones where the topic interests me. I don't let a conversation go on for long if the conversation is boring. I'd either switch the topic or go do something else. Mutual interests are the best thing to converse with other people about, because you're both engaged in the topic and can keep it going. It's not all one-sided that way. My interests are all over the place. I don't know I just like what I like. I like video games of a bunch of different genres, music of a bunch of different genres, TV shows of a bunch of different genres. What I have noticed is that I tend to go through cycles. I'll be super focused on one interest for a few weeks, and then start getting bored until something else catches my interest and I focus on THAT for a while, etc. But it's a cycle because I do go back to those things eventually.

    6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
    No and no.

    7. What do you think of daily chores?
    A necessary evil. I can't relax if my environment is chaotic. I keep my room clean. I don't mind organized clutter as long as it's organized. I know where every single item in my house is. I even know what's in the boxes in my garage. I don't have a set cleaning or chores schedule, I just do things as they need to be done.

    8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
    There is literally no way on earth I could possibly even tap the surface of them all. My favorite kinds of books as a kid were fantasy, and while I still like fantasy they tend to be aimed more at a YA audience and I'm almost 25 now. The books I find myself enjoying the most as an adult are usually autobiographies and memoirs, especially about people who escaped difficult circumstances like cults, kidnappings, abusive situations, etc. My favorite TV shows are uhh. The Office (US), Game of Thrones, my mind is literally blanking right now. I don't watch a ton of TV. There's tons of anime that I like. My current obsession is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Others I enjoyed a lot are Wolf's Rain, anything by Key (Clannad, Kanon, Air, Little Busters etc), Steins;Gate, ARIA series (one of my faves, super chill and relaxing), Haikyuu, Boku no Hero Academia, Parasyte, Madoka... you get it. Tons of different genres. I just have to click with the story and the characters to enjoy something. I'm not super picky.

    9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
    I haven't been able to cry since I started taking testosterone 2 years ago. I used to cry all the time though. I used to cry every time a semester at school ended because I would never get to sit in that class with that specific teacher and all those specific classmates in that specific period of my life ever again. I didn't handle changes like that very well in the past. I also used to be quite the angry crier and would cry any time I got frustrated while arguing (which I pretty much only argued with my dad). I cried the other day when we put my childhood dog down, and that's the only time I've cried in the past 2 years. I cry/cried when things were deeply emotionally touching to me in some way. It was way easier with fiction than real people. As for smiling, I don't know. Even when I watch things like The Office that I enjoy and think are hilarious, I don't always laugh or smile visibly, just on the inside. Unless I'm with other people. When I'm around other people I'm more expressive. I don't know, I don't pay conscious attention to when I smile or not really. I think when talking to people I'm usually smiling as a reflex.

    10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
    I used to have a place where I felt a strong sense of community and felt I belonged, and then I martyred myself to defend a friend that I knew was right when they were under fire. So now I don't have a sense of belonging anywhere and it's been extremely hard. I've tried many different places but none of them "click" the same way the first place did. I don't know what makes that "click." If I did then I wouldn't still be looking around. As far as physical environments go, nowhere do I feel more completely at peace than my own room/house, of course.

    Evaluation & Behaviour
    11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
    What people see as my weaknesses and what I dislike about myself are the exact same traits. I'm extremely stubborn in the face of opposition, but only if the opposition doesn't threaten me in some way (aka someone I know/feel close to)--otherwise I'm way too compliant (aka with strangers). When I'm pissed off I'm super illogical and make shit up out of thin air to "defend" myself.

    12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
    I'm very, very charismatic and likeable. I put people instantly at ease and everyone feels welcome around me. Even people who are usually mean to everyone can't bring themselves to be mean to me lol. I am also extremely hardworking, patient, and I have a much higher innate willpower than most other people.

    13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
    Forming true connections with other people. I feel like I keep everyone at a distance, even if on the surface we are friendly and get along well. I feel like I have tons of acquaintances but very few people I would actually consider friends. Also, I tend to emotionally steamroll my friends venting about my problems which, ironically but understandably, drives them away a little bit.

    14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
    Rut is kind of vague. I don't think that all routines are a rut. I work a Sunday through Thursday 9 to 6 shift every single week which I think most people get sick of if they don't get enough vacation time but I'm okay with it. I do wish I had more free time though, working four 10 hour shifts would really be my ideal. I don't think about the far future at all so I don't really know where I'm going in life, I'm just kind of going and it's worked out so far. So I don't know if I would call where I am now a rut even though it has kind of stagnated.

    People & Interactions
    15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
    I hate people who are confrontational, aggressive, disagreeable, slackers with poor work ethic, arrogant, and have low self awareness. I like people who are friendly, welcoming, easy to talk to and get along with, pleasant, and have common interests with me that we can bond over.

    16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
    I consider myself an asexual (but not sex-repulsed) but I am very much not aromantic. While I crave for a romantic relationship, I get crushes on people VERY very rarely, probably only 4 or so times in my life, and they are intense. I have never actually been in a relationship. I would also not consider being in a relationship with someone I didn't have a crush on. I don't know why I fall for the people that I do. I have to be friends with someone for a while first before I can develop a crush on them. When I have a crush, pretty much all I want to do 24/7 is hang out with them. The last crush I developed was about 3 years ago, and even though I haven't seen or talked to the subject of this crush in over a year for reasons too long to go into here, I'm still not over my feelings for them and don't think I ever fully will be. I don't think that love or sex are the "meaning of life" and I don't think life actually has a meaning--it's all just random coincidence, that we exist. We choose our own meanings. I want to fall in love and have someone love me back someday in my life. I don't think it's my "meaning" but it's something that I want. Also, and I'm going to sound kind of arrogant for saying this, but I think that probably at least 70% of people never experience true love. They mix it up and conflate it with sex, lust, and passion. It's brief, it can fade. Most relationships end. To me, actual LOVE does not end. If you can "fall out of love" with someone, then you were never in love with them. I'm sure plenty of people disagree, but I don't care.

    17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
    I'm not interested in having children and I have known that I don't want any kids since I was around 12, so I don't know if it's really worth it to answer this question. I guess I will just in case there's something useful in my answer. I would be concerned about balancing love and affection with responsibility. I would want them to have the things I never had and spoil them, but I would fear them taking that for granted and growing up to be a brat and not understanding the true value of things. I would want my kid to grow up to have a strong willpower and compassionate values. I don't know how I would manage that because like I said, I'm not planning on having kids.

    18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
    Well on the inside I always have a negative gut reaction and get a little upset but since they're my friend I keep it civil and either change the subject or try to debate it calmly. Honestly it really depends on what the topic is. If it's just a philosophical topic then I can let it slide. If it's something that I find assaults me and my identity directly (like being aggressively anti-LGBT or something) then we wouldn't be friends in the first place.

    19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
    I don't like people. I know, I know, sounds so emo. But honestly we're killing the planet and ruining life for every other species on this earth. If I could press a button to instantly wipe out all of humanity including myself and everyone I cared about then I would do it. BUUUT, I can't do that. So... I just live my life, work, do things that I think are fun, talk to people whose company I enjoy, etc. I could name 500 social issues. Everyone knows what they are. I mean, just look at this political climate we're in.

    20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
    I don't choose them, they choose me. I have mild social anxiety. It used to be super bad. But when I tell people I'm shy they literally, actually laugh at me because I DO NOT appear shy in person in the slightest, like, at all. But I'm friendly with literally everyone, so the ones who consistently be friendly back and make an effort to get to know me will get that effort returned. They choose me, and then I confirm or reject their choice by responding (or not). I'm super chill around friends. I'm not afraid to voice my opinions and voice them strongly, but around strangers I would never do that because I wouldn't want to risk offending them or starting a debate. I spend pretty much all of my free time possible chatting with friends, though I do like to spend a lot of time physically alone because I don't have a ton of free time and it's easier for me to focus on hobbies without other people around. So basically I go to work, socialize all day, come home, kick back with some video games while online chatting with my friends. Then on weekends I'll usually have plans with someone and we'll play games together or watch a movie or go to some store or something. Friends get my more authentic self. The one that's not afraid to express my actual thoughts and emotions, even the negative ones. Strangers will only ever get positive ones. I will always hold back around strangers.

    21. How do you behave around strangers?
    Oops I guess I just answered this in the last one. I hold back around them emotionally and will only express positively. I'm super friendly with everyone, even if they're rude to me (the meanest I can be to a stranger is 'cordial' lol).

    ---

    My knowledge of socionics is not the best. First time I ever took the shortened version of the socionics test years and years ago, I got EIE. Then for a long time I got a 100% tie between SEI and ESI, like how is that even possible. I haven't taken one in over a year now. I will take one tomorrow (it's so late now) and post it here but I'd also love to hear from people who are experienced with the theory to see what they say because I trust people more than tests.



  2. #2

    I wonder if LSE/ESTj is possible?
    (asking you as well as other people who get this system better than I do lol)

    Sounds more Te and Fi than Fe to me

  3. #3

    As promised, I took the extended socionics test from sociotype after I got home. It's the first time I've taken this test in probably at least a year and a half. Here are my results. (I'm really not sure how much I personally buy into VI, for what that's worth.)

    Your Sociotype: ESE-1Fe FeSi (ESFj)
    Ethical Sensing Extrovert - The Enthusiast

    Other Possible Types
    SEI (ISFp): 84% as likely as ESE.
    ESI (ISFj): 65% as likely as ESE.
    EIE (ENFj): 60% as likely as ESE.

    Quadra Values
    Alpha: 34
    Beta: 24
    Delta: 23
    Gamma: 20

    Your Model A
    Information Element Relative Strength Relative Value
    Fe 40% 40%
    Si 35% 35%
    Te 10% 10%
    Ni 15% 15%

    Ti 10% 40%
    Ne 15% 35%
    Fi 40% 10%
    Se 35% 15%

    This is actually quite different from how my results used to be. I used to always get SEI with 99% likeliness of ESI, lol. But I was more depressed and socially anxious back then than I am now.
    sweet morphine thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet morphine View Post
    I wonder if LSE/ESTj is possible?
    (asking you as well as other people who get this system better than I do lol)

    Sounds more Te and Fi than Fe to me
    I certainly won't rule anything out. It confuses me how differently some of the functions are described in socionics than they are in JCF MBTI (especially Si). I've never tested as LSE or any logic type in general, but delta is the quadrant I personally relate to the most after alpha so it's not off the table.
    sweet morphine thanked this post.

  6. #5

    I'm confused about something. On the above test, I scored "ESE-1Fe FeSi (ESFj)." I went to read the ESE profile, and then the ESE subtype profiles. The only two subtypes listed on sociotype for ESE that I found were ESE-Fi and ESE-Si. Is the former a typo, or is ESE-Fi a legitimate subtype of ESE? And if it is, then where is the description for ESE-Fe? Is that just the standard, typical ol' ESE?

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Suntide View Post
    I'm confused about something. On the above test, I scored "ESE-1Fe FeSi (ESFj)." I went to read the ESE profile, and then the ESE subtype profiles. The only two subtypes listed on sociotype for ESE that I found were ESE-Fi and ESE-Si. Is the former a typo, or is ESE-Fi a legitimate subtype of ESE? And if it is, then where is the description for ESE-Fe? Is that just the standard, typical ol' ESE?
    Think it's a typo, I never even noticed it before but in all other places (even on that same website) it says ESE-Fe is the ethical subtype
    Suntide thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet morphine View Post
    Think it's a typo, I never even noticed it before but in all other places (even on that same website) it says ESE-Fe is the ethical subtype
    That definitely makes more sense. Thank you!
    sweet morphine thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Sorry for not responding earlier, still don't really know what to say but I want to at least bump the thread!

    I feel like you seem a little distanced from Fe you display in a way that feels potentially role Fe-ish?
    Also you express your feelings and opinions very naturally, Fe types can be very expressive and opinionated in their own way but I just get a sense of knowing how you feel and what you like or dislike in a very straightforward way and seeing everyone as separate, there's a clear line between things, everyone and everything has their outline but they can all potentially connect based on mutual feelings.
    As opposed to Fe which I see as riding on an unstoppable roller coaster of their own and other people's feelings and impressions and relationships.


    Or this
    Fe - emotion, mood, atmosphere, unstable, changeable, empathy, impact
    Fi - feeling, standard, morality, stable, deep, sympathy, connection
    I feel like you put more emphasis on the latter?


    But could easily see ESE or SEI, curious what other people think.
    Last edited by sweet morphine; 02-27-2019 at 03:55 PM.
    Suntide thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by sweet morphine View Post
    Sorry for not responding earlier, still don't really know what to say but I want to at least bump the thread!
    That's nothing to apologize for, this is free voluntary help after all! Thanks for taking the time out of your day!

    I feel like you seem a little distanced from Fe you display in a way that feels potentially role Fe-ish?
    Also you express your feelings and opinions very naturally, Fe types can be very expressive and opinionated in their own way but I just get a sense of knowing how you feel and what you like or dislike in a very straightforward way and seeing everyone as separate, there's a clear line between things, everyone and everything has their outline but they can all potentially connect based on mutual feelings.
    As opposed to Fe which I see as riding on an unstoppable roller coaster of their own and other people's feelings and impressions and relationships.


    Or this
    Fe - emotion, mood, atmosphere, unstable, changeable, empathy, impact
    Fi - feeling, standard, morality, stable, deep, sympathy, connection
    I feel like you put more emphasis on the latter?


    But could easily see ESE or SEI, curious what other people think.
    Yes, I tend to have an immediate like/dislike reaction to everything, even if I can't put words as to why immediately (and even if I don't necessarily express those initial reactions outwardly). I also have a tendency to word my opinions pretty strongly, but only around immediate family and my inner circle (I hold back around everyone else due to hating confrontation). Online is the exception, because of anonymity I express myself more openly and directly here than I normally would offline with strangers/acquaintances. Basically the closer I feel to someone, the more aggressively my opinions sound lol because I trust them to understand and not get offended.

    I do feel at times that I'm an emotional 'window' more than a 'mirror' in the sense that I've noticed I really affect other people's moods as much as they affect mine. I can only bring myself to express positive emotions around most people because of that. When my parents got divorced, when my dog died, etc if people found out and tried to comfort me I smiled it off and changed the subject pretty quickly. I find it so much easier to express my honest feelings online than in person (even among my inner circle) but I think that's just because I'm afraid of rejection/invalidation or something. (Maybe also a side effect of growing up with sort of emotionally distant parents.) Emotions certainly don't feel like a roller coaster to me, though I am sort of always aware of (and have good control of) the emotional atmosphere of a setting. I definitely agree with the sentiment that everyone is separate with potential for connection if the desire is mutual. Though I do allow myself to blend in in order to avoid negative reactions from people.

    It's hard since I can relate to both types of Feeling in general! I can honestly relate to many aspects of both of those descriptors of Fe and Fi. Ugh, I feel like I give so much conflicting information lol. I am very opinionated and stubborn, and yet around most people I don't even express it because I care so much about being liked and avoiding confrontation. Emotions can just be so complex. I just want to maintain a calm, neutral inner equilibrium that's not too upset in one direction or the other (as in too happy or too sad--both are stressful to me).

    I guess to try and word it differently, I feel like I'm very different inside from how I am outside. But I value both parts of myself and don't know which one is more "me" because they both come very naturally to me. I want to say the "inside" self is my natural self and the "outside" self is just social behavior but, well, humans are social creatures and it honestly comes just as naturally to me. I guess I'm just very selective with who I allow to see my "inside" self (in person that is, on the internet not as much because of anonymity).

    ...To be honest, typing all of this up has now confused me even more. Lol. I wonder how well I actually know myself, even outside of typing. I just feel so contradictory.
    sweet morphine thanked this post.

  11. #10

    @Suntide

    CONGRATS! you're not alone. Anyone who says the're good at Socionics is lying. Instead of simplifying personality typing, I think it makes it 100 times more complex. It's like trying to understand Quantum mechanics. You start to understand part of it, than the other part of it slips out of your mind like a greased pig. I have no idea what your type is, btw.
    Suntide, Ocean Helm and Thunal33 thanked this post.


     
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