This is gift thread so I thought of putting my post here and hope fellow INFJs or anyone can help me wif my problems. Hahahaah
I am a ENFP and I like this INFJ girl for quite a long time and recently gave her a hand made birthday gift. She was quite happy. So I replied her with a sms praising her how wonderful she look(The content is quite mushy). She did not reply me after that. The next day, we met since we are classmates. Although we haven't spoke to each other, I sense that she is avoiding me. I ask from her close friend that she couldnt stand the mushiness of my sms. Is does she hate me or is she testing me? If so, how can I remove her barrier and get close to her? Many thanks to those who reply!!! I LOVE INFJssssss !!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH they are so mesmerizing and thoughtful!!!!! Many many thanks to those who reply to this post
Not exactly sure what is going on. Perhaps your message was 'too much, too soon' or perhaps she's not into you. I wouldn't want a guy to be overly mushy on me, unless he is a guy that I am attracted to, and that I actually 'like' in that way. Otherwise too much aggressiveness does not receive a good response from me.
Surprise her perhaps by turning down the mushiness and trying a different approach. Try to get to know her, it could be that you are yet a stranger to her, or she doesn't like you. Sorry. I hope it works out, whatever happens. Your enthusiasm is admirable, find another INFJ if she isn't the one for you. :wink:
So, bottom line it for me. A personal note that he was "touched" is a mere expression of gratitude? If yes, what strings, if any are attached to the note? Expectations?
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mrniceftw He wasn't trying to hook us up and it is completely out of the question to pose the question to him due to the type of working environment it is. Besides, he's gay. If anything, he was trying to "touch" his boss--no, not physically.
Not sure if I am understanding this story correctly. It seems like you gave a gift to a male in a work setting, which was an inexpensive yet special gift. And then received a thank you note. The person that received the gift was 'touched' by the gesture.
I know it couldn't have been about the farm product. Who the heck is touched by a farm product. I can figure if he was "touched" by what he perceived as thoughtfulness, or if he was flirting, or both. That's the problem.
I typically don't notice people flirting, but when I have noticed, I definitely noticed. That's what bothers me about this on one level. It came across as more than a genuine thank you. How would you distinguish the difference. It's made me uncomfortable in our business meetings ever since.
As I read backwards, I'm getting more ideas here. I once knew a fabulous INFJ who was quite serious about his career. He was enthusiastic about 'etiquette' and sending ' notes' and 'letters' to people. He would always be warm, and he would use the word 'touched' this doesn't mean flirtation necessarily. If your friend is quite professional, he may not choose to make a move that way. Perhaps this person is already attracted to you and was excited to receive a present.
Honestly, I would say that most INFJs would be excited to receive a present [I think you mentioned though that this person who received the gift many not have been INFJ] I am just being general here. I would just wait it out, and why feel awkward at meetings? Do you want this person to like you? If not just let it blow over. Is he a peer or is he in a higher position in the workplace? This may affect his behavior also.
I would say this is too much thinking on your part, about the note, to feel self conscious about it. To be 'touched' means kind of also, 'thank you for thinking of me'. INFJs sometimes like whimsical language and formalities. And do like to speak from the heart. This doesn't necessarily mean romance or anything.
...I went to this professional setting to visit with the man's boss. Prior to seeing the boss, I delivered the gift. Prior to seeing the boss, he gave the other gift to the boss. The boss (not my boss, just a peer to me) comes in to meet with me absolutely beaming and overwhelmed with said gift in his hands. I was stunned.
I would have gladly brought said gift specifically for the boss, had it occurred to me, but it didn't. Further, I wouldn't have given it prior to our meeting, but only after as I would see the gift prior to the meeting as potentially insincere, like bribery.
The boss was so pleased and overwhelmed at the "thoughtfulness" of this gift, though he seemed to genuinely like the gift as well, that he couldn't focus on our meeting, but rather he focused on me "emotionally" which I felt was a huge distraction. Mostly, I was shocked at his pleasure and gushing to the point of being red in the face.
I felt horrible, too, because while I gladly would have "thought" about the boss and brought said gift if I had any prior information that he would enjoy it, but I WASN'T being thoughtful as he assumed. I didn't explain as I didn't want to hurt his feelings if I told him I hadn't actually thought of him.
The next few business meetings were born with me bearing gifts, but discreetly left for after the meeting. So, there was thoughtfulness, but delivered in a way that didn't conflict with my morals that would suggest bribery if given at the head of a meeting.
Meanwhile, and prior to the next business meeting after the first gift, I was mailed a very personal thank you note from the boss. I am still unsure if he intended it to sound as flirtatious as it came across. However, I did not receive this note for months. The boss was quite inexplicably dejected, presumably by me, at the next meeting. Not knowing about the personal note, I was quite confused at his initial excitement to see me, then his sour dejected attitude that ended the meeting.
His note mentioned he was "touched" by the gift. Touched by a farm product? I'm confused. Touched by me, the gift, the thoughtfulness that wasn't, or what?
INFJs, can you interpret please?
After reading more of this...Is this man single? Does he know you pretty well? Are you attractive? This could mean that he is hoping to get to know you better. Perhaps he is lonely and doesn't receive many gifts, this could also be part of his outburst of emotions. I don't understand the note thing, he sent it and it didn't get to you? Perhaps he wanted a more enthusiastic response. Not sure what is going on.
So, I'm not understanding the meaning of all this. Do you want to hear of how to deal with this person in a better manner? Do you like this person? Do they like you? Why does any of this bother you at all? Is this person important to your career? Are you uncomfortable about something? Stuff happens all the time in workplaces. Most encounters of non-work related nature are best ignored.
When it comes to gift giving in professional settings, I just follow suit to whatever other staff does in an office, thus not being the person that 'stands out' in any way. I used to be too generous in the past. I don't think it went over too well. You wanted responses of Male INFJs, so skip over my response, or pull out anything of interest, if you wish to continue discussion on what is happening! :happy:
Sorry for the lengthy reply. I like it when others visit INFJ Forum! And you are a bit mysterious, so I wanted to jump in here. Privately and among friends, I always randomly find stuff that they like and give things spontaneously. Although due to budget constraints, this practice for me has been decreased.
