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Social Contentions have you had more with the same gender or opposite?

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shameless

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
In another thread we were talking about the differences or similarities on male/female ISTPS and comparing or noting what each deals with.

So have you had more social contentions with the same, opposite, or variant of both?
Feel free to give some examples!
 
#2 ·
regardless of personality type, I tend to clash more with women than with men. I've always been a tomboy, and I genuinely like sports, and outdoorsy things, as well as some technological and mechanical things. it's just who I am, and I think guys get that whereas I think some girls look at me and think I must be up to something. but it's hit or miss, like everything of course.
 
Discussion starter · #3 ·
heartofpompeii said:
regardless of personality type, I tend to clash more with women than with men. I've always been a tomboy, and I genuinely like sports, and outdoorsy things, as well as some technological and mechanical things. it's just who I am, and I think guys get that whereas I think some girls look at me and think I must be up to something. but it's hit or miss, like everything of course.
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I relate to part of what you said. Altho I am not particularly tomboyish or mechanical, my temperament is a lot more masculine then the average woman. (I am more tomboyish then any stereotypical girly girl tho) I actually have many stereotypical "feminine" interests but how I care to go about anything is much more of a masculine temperament. I get the whole women suspecting your up to something bit you describe.
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That said tho I would say most of my very serious intense love interests were testosterone driven men that had very strict ideas in their head about male and female roles. I kind of have always thought they like me because I was a pistol, but didn't really like they couldn't handle me ultimately. I am not particularly domesticated. I do sometimes like to cook, but not as imposition. And I have always said if I won the lottery the first thing I would do is hire a maid. I make a living off of event planning which has to do with some "feminine" touches, but thats just it I like to do the things for my profit and benefit not as a role of fulfillment for validation to another person. So thats where I personally think I have dealt more with a variant. Then one or the other.
 
#4 ·
Definitely more problems with other females. Honestly, a part of me thinks that it might be because I just have more female friends and acquaintances. Also female feelers are more common than male feelers, and I have a HUGE HUGE HUGE problem with Fi sometimes. I despise the function and don't hide it well. Personally, I can relate with what heartofpompeii said a little bit, but I think for me, most frustrations and arguments are because of the (statistical) T/F difference. Darn Fi.
 
Discussion starter · #5 ·
Nosmirc said:
Definitely more problems with other females. Honestly, a part of me thinks that it might be because I just have more female friends and acquaintances. Also female feelers are more common than male feelers, and I have a HUGE HUGE HUGE problem with Fi sometimes. I despise the function and don't hide it well. Personally, I can relate with what heartofpompeii said a little bit, but I think for me, most frustrations and arguments are because of the (statistical) T/F difference. Darn Fi.
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I actually have mostly girlfriends too. And I suspect most of them have the whole Fi thing too. My best friend is an ENFP. Usually we get along pretty good but we have been friends for 15 years now so we already dealt with a lot of that underlined tension.
Passive aggressive tension.
I am actually one of the few that can put her in her place without her acting like a brat about it. She just needs examples nicely put and she's usually fine.

I get along better with males as far as temperament but I usually still always feel a sort of sexual tension underneath.
 
#7 ·
I clash with idiots. Since all humans are capable of being idiots irrespective of Gender, Race, Religion and MBTI type... I think I just made my point.
 
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#8 ·
I'm pretty sure everyone has more issues with their same gender. Compared to when I was younger I'm balanced in the gender I get along with, especially as I move closer into the niche circles of my long term fields of interest.
 
#10 · (Edited)
If we're just talking about genders... Then females. They are more prone to use snide comments all the time and be jealous over every little thing. At least in my experience. But it's limited. I usally hang with guys if they share similair interests or hobbies. Since I like sport , more guys than girls are interested in basketball. But I also don't hang with guys anymore, I've found some girls I can connect with and I prefer their company since most guys and girls are idiots, but if I'm presented to someone that ain't one I don't care which gender. Maybe that's why I have like ... 3 proper friends.
 
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#11 ·
I don't really clash with any gender specifically, at least not with it being related to type. I have basically no experience with females, though. The deepest relationship between me and a female was that of between two classmates. Apparently there are no women in my area who are interested in mechatronics. Oh well.
 
#12 ·
In my life time could say never one gender in particular. The person in question matters to me most.

I will admit though that socially I have had fairly less real experience with females. I mean, in the past I have had the choice but very rarely were any of them into the things I was into so that did not at all fly with me. I distanced myself from them and anyone else who did not share similar interests. Some actually did though and it was great.

With that being said I have observed and thought to myself that most women may be feelers but I can not completely discern whether or not that is true. I rarely ever pursue further relations with anyone I meet. All I know is my inner circle is full of guys and that is about four of them in total. And guess what, half of them are feeler types. Now I have had disagreements with them in the past with how to go about dealing with issues and concerns but overall I am not inclined to get in their way. Just offer advice. If they disagree with me I let them slide. Some times I might just not say anything because I deem it as a wasted effort.
Because if they will not learn the easy way they might as well learn the hard way.

"Be careful of charity and kindness, lest you do more harm with open hands than with a clenched fist."

Although most of the time we never have any conflict. At least not anything associated with me personally. I am the eldest of the group and the most grounded so there is this sort of respect that I am given. Rarely am I ever wrong nor do I impose. I understand them for who they are what they believe. People are just that "people," and they are all different.
 
#13 ·
I avoid contentions, so...

I treat people the same regardless of gender, but due to the distribution of interests and personalities, superficially, I find guys easier to connect with as an activity partner, and girls to connect with on an empathetic level. Whether or not they become friends with me, that is another story.

I would say I fall into a strange nook: I am not a "hardcore" tomboy who is "one of the guys" and I deviate from that stereotype as someone who is quiet, values academics, is a bookworm, and is feminine enough to not be interested in some stereotypical male things. But neither do I easily fall in line with girls as I am tomboyish enough to not share many feminine interests, prefers to "run with the guys" and get things done. Clearly, I live life marching to my own drum.
 
#14 ·
Males. Definitely males. Men can be just as snide and just as petty and jealous as women, and can be (usually are) extremely homophobic. One tiny little slip, one itsy bitsy little "non-AWESOME-MANLY-LIKE-MOVE-OR-STATEMENT" and they are all over it. It is persistent and pervasive. I've come to the conclusion that it is a mental defect for most men: feeling insecure about their sexuality and identity, and attacking other males who don't conform to their warped view of what is a male.

So when does it become OK to be who I am? Demisexual, male, 6'3" 200+ pounds, only dates women, spontaneous, secure and comfortable with himself, etc. etc. ??? Actually. ALWAYS.
 
#15 ·
I tend to clash with women more, because if you do something bad or offend them they seem to remember it longer. In hind sight I should stop making jokes about fetus angels.

With men (typically/stereotypically) they tend to hold grudges less. I can get into a fist fight with a friend (only one punch was thrown, I still don't know why he was so mad) and we are still friends the next day.
 
#16 ·
I think I must be a weird type of ISTP. If I know something could upset someone, or create some sort of argument I'll deliberately word what I say so that it comes off more passive. What I say will still be inline with what I feel, but I leave a little wiggle room so that they can interpret it how it best fits them.

Sometimes this doesn't always work though, especially when they feel like being dick heads. Taking into perspective my limited interaction with females I'd have to say I have more arguments with males around my age.
 
#17 ·
I've always had more female friends, so of course I'd have more disagreements with them. A lot of the male friends I had said I seemed intimidating at first, so that's probably why I didn't have too many male friends. I've never had a female friend say that.

Gender doesn't really matter though. I've had disagreements with both males and females, feelers and thinkers, although feelers are definitely more of an issue. The only real problems I've ever had were with an unhealthy Fi dom though.
 
#18 ·
Shifter said:
I think I must be a weird type of ISTP. If I know something could upset someone, or create some sort of argument I'll deliberately word what I say so that it comes off more passive. What I say will still be inline with what I feel, but I leave a little wiggle room so that they can interpret it how it best fits them.

Sometimes this doesn't always work though, especially when they feel like being dick heads. Taking into perspective my limited interaction with females I'd have to say I have more arguments with males around my age.
Click to expand...
I try to do this when I'm talking to someone, but I really only tend to offend people when I'm talking to someone I know won't be offended by it, but someone easily offended hears it..
 
#19 ·
Cinnamon83 said:
I relate to part of what you said. Altho I am not particularly tomboyish or mechanical, my temperament is a lot more masculine then the average woman. (I am more tomboyish then any stereotypical girly girl tho) I actually have many stereotypical "feminine" interests but how I care to go about anything is much more of a masculine temperament. I get the whole women suspecting your up to something bit you describe.
------
That said tho I would say most of my very serious intense love interests were testosterone driven men that had very strict ideas in their head about male and female roles. I kind of have always thought they like me because I was a pistol, but didn't really like they couldn't handle me ultimately. I am not particularly domesticated. I do sometimes like to cook, but not as imposition. And I have always said if I won the lottery the first thing I would do is hire a maid. I make a living off of event planning which has to do with some "feminine" touches, but thats just it I like to do the things for my profit and benefit not as a role of fulfillment for validation to another person. So thats where I personally think I have dealt more with a variant. Then one or the other.
Click to expand...
that makes sense.
I have to say, with guys, I always tend to go for the ones that are a little less..."macho" so to speak. I like skinny guys with nice hair that cook, because I hate it; and I'm always happy when they're comfortable with their emotions because hell knows I'm not comfortable with their own. I just like a partnership. Fill in the voids & keep up with one another, that sorta thing.

And while I'm quite the tomboy, I also have a soft-spot for art, tea, and interior decorating. go figure :p
 
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