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What is wrong with ENTP females???

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#22 ·
foodcourtfrenzy said:
I don't think ENTP females suck, but I do think the main reason they MIGHT suck for relationships has already been addressed.

Aloof is not attractive for women. If you see yourself as "cool" and "one of the guys" then most guys won't want to be with you in any serious capacity. That's the kind of girl you bang and don't get attached to, because there's no reason to give your monogamy to someone that feels like your buddy.

I'm realizing more and more that relationships rely on an A and a B. The A holds the keys to the castle (not to an abusive extent where the relative power is ridiculous). The B provides the warmth and comfort and is more passive.

A male - B female is obviously traditional and works. All the time. It's still probably the ideal.

A female - B male could work, but I don't think most women are ready for that. A B male appears to an A female as needy, clingy, and unattractive. So A females are in a pretty difficult spot. Repulsed by doormats, and annoying to more dominant men. I don't know the solution but it's just something I've noticed.
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I've been trying to figure out who of the NT's would be considered A/B (or Type A and Type B, which seems to be what you're referring to.) ENTJ's are clearly Type A's. The rest, I'm not sure. :laughing: They don't fit as neatly into either box. You can say Je is more A than Pe, E's are more Type A than I's (vice versa?), and so on. Anyway if relationships rely on A-B it raises some questions regarding NT-NT relationships, haha.
 
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#23 ·
We all have elements of A and B, and over time learn to match them to our partners. Being in a couple changes both of you as people.

I've had a few alcohol-fuelled conversations with a male INTP married to my oldest friend, a female ENFJ. I'm a female ENTP married to a male ENFJ. We long ago recognised we had stuff in common with our relationships. INTP friend commented that we spend most of our lives as the keel of the boat, providing balance, solidity, allowing the thing to steer, while they are the spinnakers, big and out there and obvious and bloody unstable at times. The cool thing, he said, is that we both know how to be spinnakers too, although we do it less often, and we also know that the minute we get the sail up, they will scurry down and hold the keel.

That's how it is. Neither A nor B, but sometimes one and sometimes the other.
 
#25 ·
orihara said:
well if we consider how threatened men feel when women can be both attractive and smart, even under the wing of the patriarchy.......... goes for any type, really, but entp's have a combination of functions that usually make us funny, outgoing and clever. wouldn't want to hurt the Male Rights with our charm :wink:
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Smart and attractive seems like a pretty damn good combination. I know one girl who probably is ENTP or ENFP, she's great to talk to since she always has some interesting ideas. I'll be honest though, very career-driven/organised women seem kind of seem foreign to me. I'm driven to be constantly learning (I just hope my rate of learning exceed my rate of forgetting). I have no interest in climbing a ladder though......
 
#26 ·
yesiknowbut said:
We all have elements of A and B, and over time learn to match them to our partners. Being in a couple changes both of you as people.
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I agree, a relationship should be about balance. You are attracted to someone who can balance you. This might be someone totally different, but it also could be someone more similar. My ENTJ sister says she wants someone who dares to discuss with her and doesn't just agree, but don't we all? I think that in the end nobody (except for unhealthy dominant people maybe) wants someone without a spine, everyone is attracted to confidence. However we must not mistake confidence for extraverted dominant behaviour. Being a gentle, quiet person does not make you less confident than someone outgoing. If a man likes a warm comforting person this does not mean he wants someone submissive, as if he would be to insecure to handle a "strong" woman. She might just be the one to balance him. I also think men balance women in a different way than women balance (affect) men. You just can't pinpoint it that easily, nor blame it all on gender expectations.
I personally find that many men are attracted to outspoken women. My sister get's asked all the time! Yes she's pretty, but she's also funny, outgoing, honest and smart, that's just attractive. I also have the impression that most ENTP women on this forum have a husband or boyfriend (or at least had one or more), so I don't think there's really a problem.
 
#27 ·
No idea what's going on.

All female ENTPs I know IRL are man-eating players.
 
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#28 ·
Sporadic Aura said:
Does anyone else feel that ENTP women are incredibly rare in real life? Like annoyingly rare? ENTP women are undoubtedly as awesome as ENTP males, but seem to exist in much lesser numbers.
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I know I have never encountered an obviously ENTP woman in my life but I have met a few ENTP guys. A bit annoyingly so. I feel like I am alone.
 
#29 ·
Themorning said:
Smart and attractive seems like a pretty damn good combination. I know one girl who probably is ENTP or ENFP, she's great to talk to since she always has some interesting ideas. I'll be honest though, very career-driven/organised women seem kind of seem foreign to me. I'm driven to be constantly learning (I just hope my rate of learning exceed my rate of forgetting). I have no interest in climbing a ladder though......
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of course you can't attribute beauty to a certain personality type BUT my experience with other female entps is that they've all been physically attractive, and even if they don't there's this thing abt their personality that's just alluring (probably extroverted intuition LEL)

oh yeah, idea people. that's the chatty ne for you again. i find myself drawn to it despite our type commonly associated to being interested in ni doms.

i guess it all depends on where your ambitions are placed? yours can be knowledge and that's p cool, in fact i find myself sharing that but there's a lot of circumstances in which someone can become a workaholic, or too invested in labour achievements, esp if you're enneagram 3 i do agree that overly organised people in general tend to put me off a lot. so long as you can mix it with having fun and time for yourself, i see nothing wrong
 
#30 ·
Huh? There's a male bus?

Honestly though, I've never had any trouble attracting guys or girls.
My problem is trying to have male friends and wanting to be "one of the guys", but then my male friends end up having feelings for me.
I thought that was more of an ENTP female problem.
 
#31 ·
Rivulet said:
I agree, a relationship should be about balance. You are attracted to someone who can balance you. This might be someone totally different, but it also could be someone more similar. My ENTJ sister says she wants someone who dares to discuss with her and doesn't just agree, but don't we all? I think that in the end nobody (except for unhealthy dominant people maybe) wants someone without a spine, everyone is attracted to confidence. However we must not mistake confidence for extraverted dominant behaviour. Being a gentle, quiet person does not make you less confident than someone outgoing. If a man likes a warm comforting person this does not mean he wants someone submissive, as if he would be to insecure to handle a "strong" woman. She might just be the one to balance him. I also think men balance women in a different way than women balance (affect) men. You just can't pinpoint it that easily, nor blame it all on gender expectations.
I personally find that many men are attracted to outspoken women. My sister get's asked all the time! Yes she's pretty, but she's also funny, outgoing, honest and smart, that's just attractive. I also have the impression that most ENTP women on this forum have a husband or boyfriend (or at least had one or more), so I don't think there's really a problem.
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Boom. People confuse being "dominant" with being confident. The sassiest/hardest/most demanding/most strong-willed/whateverwordyouwanttouse people I know, men and women, are almost never as confident as they appear.

This is a personal thing, but I hate hate hate when people go out of their way to describe themselves as "independent". I'm bringing it up because it's the same concept, in a way. People are independent by default. I find when someone goes out of their way to describe themselves as "fiercly independent" or anything of the like, it's basically code for "I'm insecure and can't get close to someone"

People overcompensate. I love independent, smart, confident women -- as does anybody. But I don't like "smart", "confident", "independent" women. There's a big difference.
 
#32 ·
Nyanpichu said:
no offense but entp males and females equally suck
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That's an adorable bid for attention, but you might want to stick to something more realistic next time. :wink:


Edit: also, my personal views on why ENTP females generally gets a harder time getting into a relationship or a friendship is as such;
The former is hard, since most of the type that ENTP females like (INTJ, INTP, INFP etc.) goes running towards ENFPs, ENFJs and other NFs.

"I like to hang out with guys! There's less drama!" Almost every girl.
"I like to hang out with myself. There's no drama." Laughs an evil ENTP while she add sulfuric acid in their makeup.
^ why an ENTP female will probably never get along with most of her friends.
 
#33 ·
Iorz said:
My problem is trying to have male friends and wanting to be "one of the guys", but then my male friends end up having feelings for me.
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I think this is why I don't have many guy friends. Even if they don't develop feelings for me I get terrified that they will. I have like, one guy friend who I've had conversations with one-on-one. He was (is? I think it's sort of up in the air) dating a friend of mine. He's nice and totally non-threatening. I highly doubt he'd have feelings for me, we would make a hilariously terrible couple. Plus I would never date a friend's ex. For the most part I just talk to guys in group situations, or they're temporary acquaintances.
But for the most part I had to learn this lesson the hard way. It really sucks when you finally have a guy friend and then they ruin it with developing feelings for you.
It can also be annoying with guys because a lot of the time they feel like they have to like, prove their manliness or something. Like, a while ago I noticed that a guy in one of my classes had this girl group as his phone background. I had heard a few of their songs, so I started a conversation. I said "Yeah, a youtuber I like is a really big fan of K-pop, so I've listened to a few songs he's mentioned," and he was like "Does he listen to guy groups or girl groups?" and I was like "Uhh, I think mainly just girl groups" and he was like "Oh Ok. Guy's who listen to girl groups are...." and I was like "Well, he's gay, so... He just likes the music." And he was like "Oh" and proceeded to tell Sooyoung was his favorite because she was "The hottest." The rest of the conversation was about how attractive they all are.
Don't get me wrong here, I don't mind people talking about who they find aesthetically pleasing.
I talk about people I find attractive all the time with my friends, and I don't care if there are guys in the room.
But here I am trying to start up a conversation about music, and all he wants to mention is how hot he thinks the girls are. Oh yeah, and emphasize that he wasn't gay.
I can't stand that stuff.
 
#34 ·
I got exposed to an SJ and SP female-dominated college for awhile (why hello, Fashion Design, anyone? I just went on with my impulses in choosing my major, but that's another story). I appeared incredibly awkward and aloof among a group of girls who would gossip and discuss things such as that latest hot celebrity whose show I didn't watch because I was too busy playing video games. Also, the SJs would never understand my constant tardiness. And the girls couldn't stand why I don't reply to texts immediately (I honestly forgot where I put my phone). They also couldn't stand my sarcastic, snide remarks, can't help it, you know.

I ended up learning how to act and acquire an extremely fake personality to keep things civil, but that was before I learned any knowledge about personality types and it depressed me not being able to act like myself naturally.

I don't have a wide circle of real-life friends. I would make friends easily but easily forget them, too. I'm lucky to have a small circle of girl best friends who would never question why I don't keep in touch often, but when we do meet, it's like there never was a time gap between us because I'd immediately bridge the gap with my inherent talkativeness.

I make friends with guys at the drop of the hat. Well, they said my brain functions like a guy's, so it was easy for them to get along with me. Unfortunately like the other ENTP girls said, I always fear they'll fall in love, and true enough, most often they do.
 
#36 ·
OkWhat said:
Seriously?? ENTP males get stereotyped as being awesome and ENTP females are left on the curb while the male bus drives on by...

ENFP females are considered very desirable but not ENTPs females are not???

I guess aloof and intelligent is only sexy to females? My best guess is that men are too insecure to deal with a women who is very blunt and honest and has confidence. Honestly, I don't think I could deal with an ENTP woman, not proud of it, but if being honest I think it would be rough. :confused:
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I'm pretty desirable. I've had no problems with people being romantically interested in me. And lemme check, yes I'm a female ENTP! :eek:

It's the Ne bubbly that attracts people. When you're confident, happy, and not terribly unattractive, then that's a good package already. Being fun to hang out with is the beginning. Then, inevitably, some guys start wanting more.

I do think ENTP females can act differently from ENTP males though. Maybe being conditioned when I was growing up to do or act like a girl had something to do with it. I'm still an ENTP through and through, but my Fe probably comes out a little bit more. It's still not exactly natural for me, and it gets tiring, but it softens the Ne-Ti on its own.

Most guys I've met end up happy enough to deal with the "over-confidence" issue of me as an ENTP female. It's something they're aware of very early on, so if it's a deal breaker then they'd be immediately turned off. But the bubbly and happy nature sucks them in more.

I like easy-going introverts anyway.
 
#37 ·
foodcourtfrenzy said:
Hehe girls are funny


1) Acquire male friends who find you fun to be around.
2) Male friend becomes attracted. Since male and female platonic appreciation is nearly impossible, they want to have sex with you
3) "Y DUZ THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEE?!?!?!"
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Nahh, I know why it happens to me and I'm cool with it. I straight-up tell most of my male friends, "I will never be attracted to you." So then in the future if they ever decide to project their romantic/sexual frustration on me, we both know that I've already made my point clear and it's entirely their problem.

Sure, it's a hard way to maintain long-term friendships. But that's what God made the (L)GBT community for. ;) So I can have lady friends with penises and man friends who find me sexually repulsive.
 
#39 ·
lira said:
I don't have a wide circle of real-life friends. I would make friends easily but easily forget them, too. I'm lucky to have a small circle of girl best friends who would never question why I don't keep in touch often, but when we do meet, it's like there never was a time gap between us because I'd immediately bridge the gap with my inherent talkativeness.

I make friends with guys at the drop of the hat. Well, they said my brain functions like a guy's, so it was easy for them to get along with me. Unfortunately like the other ENTP girls said, I always fear they'll fall in love, and true enough, most often they do.
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This sounds exactly like me. I never really hung out groups, although I was friendly with pretty much all of the clicks in school. I had best friends that we would spend every moment with each other and then I would completely stop keeping in touch or piss them off with a stupid blunt comment. Still I have a handful of close girl friends that I have been friends with since high school and college that, especially now that we have kids and careers, we will literally only know what is going on in each other's life through Facebook (and occasional texts with my best friend) and will not talk in person for months, but when we get together we are as comfortable was if we just saw each other yesterday. Those are the friends I love because I will never be diligent in keeping in touch, but I know they will always be there.

I too had the problem with immediately connecting with guys as friends and they in turn would fall for me back in the day. It used to actually get me mad because I really loved their friendship and it would get completely screwed up.
 
#40 ·
I'm an entp chick and I find guys either aren't interested in me at all or are smitten. even on first dates when I'm being nice and not my usual smartarse self, me and most guys (the S's I think), both instinctively realise we're different species. but when I meet one of those rare guys that is not only secure enough to handle me, but loves it and can dish it back? WOW.

most of my relationships have been with nf's but they haven't worked out, and I think it's at least partially because I haven't put much effort into letting him be the "boss". this doesn't seem to bother them in the beginning, because being feeling men they understand not conforming to society's gender stereotypes. but I'm starting to realise whether it's male/female dna or just social pressure, I've gotta put my stepford hat on sometimes and let him lead (even though I hate that I have to do that). and i need a guy who will take the lead and challenge me because winning all the time is boring. conversely the male entp's on this thread sound like they wouldn't be man enough to handle a female entp :-b

I know infj's are great for balancing me, but I feel like it's the scorpion and frog story (scorpion rides halfway across the river on the frog, then stings him even though they'll both die, and says "I couldn't help it, I'm a scorpion"). had a couple of enfp boyfriends that were mates first, but they were mates with all the girls ;-) they fell for me because I was different but in the end they were too flighty (and flirty). thinking an enfj might be the best match...
 
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