All right, there's been a lot of debate going on (in my head and from my head to the forum) about relations of duality.
A. Evidence for the ISTP/ENFP relations of duality:
1. Socionics theory
Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types
Problem with the Socionics theory:
As many ISTPs were so kind to point out, the functions of the ISTP in socionics are SiTe whereas in MBTI, SiTe are the functions of the ISTJ.
However, the descriptions of the socionics ISTP = description of MBTI ISTP and so on.
Thus, it's possible that someone used the wrong functions in discerning wrong type relations. But I'm not calling anyone wrong. I'm just saying. Someone messed up here so we need to look further to really unravel this problem.
2. Maybe one or two ENFPs on the forum have said that they are in a happy relationship with an ISTP and it's great.
B. Okay, arguments for NOT ISTP:
1. My personal experience:
Relationship with Father ISTP: Neither of us understand each other. Which results in him periodically calling me and yelling about how I'm fucking up my entire life (he has done this since I was a freshman in high school). And I have to yell, scream and stand my ground until he finally backs down. The only reason we still talk to each other is because we are in the same clan and love each other. We have known each other my entire life and the only time we got along really well was when I was too young to talk.
Step Father ISTP: As a child we were arch rivals and continued to argue and hate each other until I finally left at 17. At which point we didn't have to see each other or talk to each other anymore. But when my mom (INFJ) says things that he told her, they are harsh, unhelpful and cause us to fight and hate each other.
ISTP boyfriends (5):
Relationships never made it past 3 month threshold.
Last one made it just a week past three months, I ended up sobbing on a night bus from Lynchburg to Roanoke next to a rambling meth head. So, yeah...not great.
2. Go to the ISTP section of the forum and look at what happens when ENFPs enter the ISTP threads. ENFPs and ISTPs are constantly fighting and bickering about whatever, whenever. So much so that there was created an ENFP/ISTP battle thread.
Is this duality? Or does this seem to anyone else to have, perhaps, too much "conflict" to really look like duality?
3. Many members on this forum have said that they have had to read books to "correct" their behavior of talking too much, illogical/emotional reasoning, etc. in order to appease their ISTP mate. And that their relationship looks nothing like what they had imagined true love would be like.
So a question arises: Is the reason their relationship didn't work out because their expectations for true love were just too high?
OR
AN ALTERNATE PERSPECTIVE:
C. ISTJ the real dual match of the ENFP
EVIDENCE:
1. Many members have expressed perfect contentment with their SO on the forum. ISTJs have come into the ENFP section of the forum expressing how much and why they adore their ENFP SO. What to buy as a present for their ENFP SO and so on.
2. My personal experience:
My uncle the ISTJ: My ISTJ uncle, as a kid, was my favorite uncle. And when I was struggling in school, he was the only one who could actually talk any sense into me. He was the only one who could explain to me how the world worked and what I had to get done. Super amazing, awesome, stand up guy. Even though many of my family members fight with him (not because of who he is, just political drama), I have always loved him as seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world and when I couldn't see him, I got his advice through my cousin.
My cousin the ISTJ: My cousin the ISTJ, seems to be hurt by many people in our family. She is the only representative from my uncle's house that still comes to parties. I adore her. And we have a really good time, understand each other, and are nice to each other.
ENFP best friend's ISTJ brother: these two are best friends, understand each other completely, love each other unconditionally. ENFP's brother the ISTJ, always warm and affectionate and I seriously adore him every time I see him. He is the only introverted TJ that I feel comfortable just randomly cuddling.
Ex ISTJ boyfriend. Seriously, worked out just like duality except things ended for geographical and my emotional problems.
3. From an Functional perspective, ISTPs use Fe as their conscious emotive function. ENFP's use Fi.
Fe and Fi are different value systems and thus, make each other uncomfortable (i.e. conflict). See thread for further information:
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/59773-fe-fi-when-emotional-palettes-collide.html
4. Now, putting all this together, read the type relations description for relations of conflict:
http://www.socionics.com/rel/cnf.htm
Which ISTX relationship with the ENFP does this describe?
Now, ask yourself, was it the ISTJ or the ISTP who said they loved the ENFP?
The ISTJ or the ISTP who said they wanted all ENFPs to get out of their side of the forum and stop acting like an after school special?
The ISTJ or the ISTP who comes to the rescue of the ENFP in threads such as:
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/58005-pathological-liars.html
and
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/59781-i-have-question-you-enfps-out-there.html
The ISTP called ENFPs pathological liars. Hmmm...But I thought they were supposed to protect my integrity! Isn't that what ENFPs said they value the most?
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/38616-how-do-you-piss-off-enfp.html
Guess who wouldn't question your integrity?
ISTJ.
So if you think ISTP is your dual and ISTJ is your conflict. I think what's really happening is that you are overlooking your dual type OR one of you is mistyped.
Okay, so, now having read all this please feel free to comment, or say whatever you like. Hit me with your best shot.
A. Evidence for the ISTP/ENFP relations of duality:
1. Socionics theory
Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types
Problem with the Socionics theory:
As many ISTPs were so kind to point out, the functions of the ISTP in socionics are SiTe whereas in MBTI, SiTe are the functions of the ISTJ.
However, the descriptions of the socionics ISTP = description of MBTI ISTP and so on.
Thus, it's possible that someone used the wrong functions in discerning wrong type relations. But I'm not calling anyone wrong. I'm just saying. Someone messed up here so we need to look further to really unravel this problem.
2. Maybe one or two ENFPs on the forum have said that they are in a happy relationship with an ISTP and it's great.
B. Okay, arguments for NOT ISTP:
1. My personal experience:
Relationship with Father ISTP: Neither of us understand each other. Which results in him periodically calling me and yelling about how I'm fucking up my entire life (he has done this since I was a freshman in high school). And I have to yell, scream and stand my ground until he finally backs down. The only reason we still talk to each other is because we are in the same clan and love each other. We have known each other my entire life and the only time we got along really well was when I was too young to talk.
Step Father ISTP: As a child we were arch rivals and continued to argue and hate each other until I finally left at 17. At which point we didn't have to see each other or talk to each other anymore. But when my mom (INFJ) says things that he told her, they are harsh, unhelpful and cause us to fight and hate each other.
ISTP boyfriends (5):
Relationships never made it past 3 month threshold.
Last one made it just a week past three months, I ended up sobbing on a night bus from Lynchburg to Roanoke next to a rambling meth head. So, yeah...not great.
2. Go to the ISTP section of the forum and look at what happens when ENFPs enter the ISTP threads. ENFPs and ISTPs are constantly fighting and bickering about whatever, whenever. So much so that there was created an ENFP/ISTP battle thread.
Is this duality? Or does this seem to anyone else to have, perhaps, too much "conflict" to really look like duality?
3. Many members on this forum have said that they have had to read books to "correct" their behavior of talking too much, illogical/emotional reasoning, etc. in order to appease their ISTP mate. And that their relationship looks nothing like what they had imagined true love would be like.
So a question arises: Is the reason their relationship didn't work out because their expectations for true love were just too high?
OR
AN ALTERNATE PERSPECTIVE:
C. ISTJ the real dual match of the ENFP
EVIDENCE:
1. Many members have expressed perfect contentment with their SO on the forum. ISTJs have come into the ENFP section of the forum expressing how much and why they adore their ENFP SO. What to buy as a present for their ENFP SO and so on.
2. My personal experience:
My uncle the ISTJ: My ISTJ uncle, as a kid, was my favorite uncle. And when I was struggling in school, he was the only one who could actually talk any sense into me. He was the only one who could explain to me how the world worked and what I had to get done. Super amazing, awesome, stand up guy. Even though many of my family members fight with him (not because of who he is, just political drama), I have always loved him as seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world and when I couldn't see him, I got his advice through my cousin.
My cousin the ISTJ: My cousin the ISTJ, seems to be hurt by many people in our family. She is the only representative from my uncle's house that still comes to parties. I adore her. And we have a really good time, understand each other, and are nice to each other.
ENFP best friend's ISTJ brother: these two are best friends, understand each other completely, love each other unconditionally. ENFP's brother the ISTJ, always warm and affectionate and I seriously adore him every time I see him. He is the only introverted TJ that I feel comfortable just randomly cuddling.
Ex ISTJ boyfriend. Seriously, worked out just like duality except things ended for geographical and my emotional problems.
3. From an Functional perspective, ISTPs use Fe as their conscious emotive function. ENFP's use Fi.
Fe and Fi are different value systems and thus, make each other uncomfortable (i.e. conflict). See thread for further information:
http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/59773-fe-fi-when-emotional-palettes-collide.html
4. Now, putting all this together, read the type relations description for relations of conflict:
http://www.socionics.com/rel/cnf.htm
Which ISTX relationship with the ENFP does this describe?
Now, ask yourself, was it the ISTJ or the ISTP who said they loved the ENFP?
The ISTJ or the ISTP who said they wanted all ENFPs to get out of their side of the forum and stop acting like an after school special?
The ISTJ or the ISTP who comes to the rescue of the ENFP in threads such as:
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/58005-pathological-liars.html
and
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/59781-i-have-question-you-enfps-out-there.html
The ISTP called ENFPs pathological liars. Hmmm...But I thought they were supposed to protect my integrity! Isn't that what ENFPs said they value the most?
http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/38616-how-do-you-piss-off-enfp.html
Guess who wouldn't question your integrity?
ISTJ.
So if you think ISTP is your dual and ISTJ is your conflict. I think what's really happening is that you are overlooking your dual type OR one of you is mistyped.
Okay, so, now having read all this please feel free to comment, or say whatever you like. Hit me with your best shot.
