More and more, and I am seeing how having Te as my weakest function and Ti as my inferior function is the source of many difficulties.
Lack of Te is the reason that so many people perceive us as being illogical or not intellectual--yet the same people think we are geniuses in situations where our Ti shines. Case in point, I can't tell you how many NT's have PM'd me here because of well-organized, logical posts I've made. They've gone on about how it trips their geek meters. Well, that's because in a written debate or in writing in general we are using Ti. We are in our thinking bubble taking our quiet time to parse out our thoughts and organize them.
Irl these same types will often opine that I am an unthinking idiot in a debate. Now, if it's a debate within my area of expertise--something I have written about and explored extensively in research and writing--something that's not personal--but just an intellectual exercise--well, in that situation, I am fine. In fact, NT's will actually be impressed in a professional setting--one where I have geared up and prepared for the discussion. I'm even told that I am good speaker.
But let's say that it's in a personal situation--particularly a debate with a partner---oh hells no! I freeze up. I may have read about the subject. In my mind, I have reasons for thinking my partner is wrong. Those reasons are logical and based on evidence. But I can't spit it out. I can't articulate it. If my partner is worked up--and staking his opinion of my or the relationship on it--it's that much worse. I get afraid even to discuss the issue at all. I've noticed this thing happening a lot in my last relationship and in my current one. And to be clear, we are talking about a debate on something like, "What's the right political structure?" It's not about relationship issue--but it becomes a relationship issue. My previous partner, an INTP, thought that I was not an intellectual and that I was unreasonable. To be fair to me though, I think he WANTED to be dominate and to put me down. My current partner is great, but he really worries about my judgment--I wish I could articulate to him my reasons for disagreeing with him on certain things.
I am almost thinking I need to go into a Ti bubble and research and write some papers about some of the issues that are important to him so that I can calmly discuss the issues. The thing is though that he is an ENFJ too. So I think he goes through some of the same emotional freezing up that I do when something seems threatening in a debate. He tries to shut it down. We both try to express our POV in other ways by sharing videos, etc., with each other. But he does it more. At one point, it was streaming all the time, and I felt overwhelmed by it. At the same time, he was wanting me to shut off my stuff when I played it. That has gotten a little more balanced as I expressed how overwhelmed I was in therapy. He streams a little less or puts on headphones more frequently, and sometimes he listens to my stuff too.
I suppose with two Ti's who are also Fe dom--it's just going to be a long road to working these things out.
Lack of Te is the reason that so many people perceive us as being illogical or not intellectual--yet the same people think we are geniuses in situations where our Ti shines. Case in point, I can't tell you how many NT's have PM'd me here because of well-organized, logical posts I've made. They've gone on about how it trips their geek meters. Well, that's because in a written debate or in writing in general we are using Ti. We are in our thinking bubble taking our quiet time to parse out our thoughts and organize them.
Irl these same types will often opine that I am an unthinking idiot in a debate. Now, if it's a debate within my area of expertise--something I have written about and explored extensively in research and writing--something that's not personal--but just an intellectual exercise--well, in that situation, I am fine. In fact, NT's will actually be impressed in a professional setting--one where I have geared up and prepared for the discussion. I'm even told that I am good speaker.
But let's say that it's in a personal situation--particularly a debate with a partner---oh hells no! I freeze up. I may have read about the subject. In my mind, I have reasons for thinking my partner is wrong. Those reasons are logical and based on evidence. But I can't spit it out. I can't articulate it. If my partner is worked up--and staking his opinion of my or the relationship on it--it's that much worse. I get afraid even to discuss the issue at all. I've noticed this thing happening a lot in my last relationship and in my current one. And to be clear, we are talking about a debate on something like, "What's the right political structure?" It's not about relationship issue--but it becomes a relationship issue. My previous partner, an INTP, thought that I was not an intellectual and that I was unreasonable. To be fair to me though, I think he WANTED to be dominate and to put me down. My current partner is great, but he really worries about my judgment--I wish I could articulate to him my reasons for disagreeing with him on certain things.
I am almost thinking I need to go into a Ti bubble and research and write some papers about some of the issues that are important to him so that I can calmly discuss the issues. The thing is though that he is an ENFJ too. So I think he goes through some of the same emotional freezing up that I do when something seems threatening in a debate. He tries to shut it down. We both try to express our POV in other ways by sharing videos, etc., with each other. But he does it more. At one point, it was streaming all the time, and I felt overwhelmed by it. At the same time, he was wanting me to shut off my stuff when I played it. That has gotten a little more balanced as I expressed how overwhelmed I was in therapy. He streams a little less or puts on headphones more frequently, and sometimes he listens to my stuff too.
I suppose with two Ti's who are also Fe dom--it's just going to be a long road to working these things out.
