I don't get attached to anything. Is that true for any of you?

Chipps · Oct 6, 2011

Sometimes I think that its kind of weird how I build no true attachment to anything. For examples, groups, organizations, schools, people, cities, countries, states etc. I dont get indoctrinated or invested in things on an intense level. I can be friends with people for years and hang out with them every other day, but if that stops it doesnt bother me and I barely notice. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and while i do care about him, if we broke up tomorrow i dont think i would shed one tear or even blink. If someone challenges what I think or believe I dont get upset by it or feel threatened. Im not close with any of my family members or siblings and I havent seen my mother in 3 years. I also dont favorite anything. Like i dont have a favorite color, or movie, or band, song, genre, actress etc. I like all of those things but I dont love any of them. Im not die hard for anything. When I was growing up I was a loner and it never bothered me if i wasnt invited or included (prom, homecoming, parties). I was simply content. Im still a loner now and im 22 and in college.People always tell me I hate everything, but the truth is i dont have emotional attachments to things. Im just neutral.

Is that weird?

None of this bothers me by the way but I feel like it should. Is anyone else like this?

its like my confidence, self-assurance or self esteem are just there. if any of them are shaken its because Im doubting myself or because I let myself down not because of anyone or anything else.

the reason im questioning this is because my ISFP boyfriend is the exact opposite and gets severely attached to everything. Its like my brain cant process it. His identity is wrapped up in this favorite sports teams, clothing brands, bands he likes, etc. If you attack or dislike any of those "things" he take it personal.

im not saying im above people who do identify with things, and I understand why they do, but I cant process doing it. Does that make sense? Is this an ENTJ thing? NT thing? hm. Thanks for reading. Looking forward to your perspective. :happy:

Heaven Star · Oct 6, 2011

That's fantastic, sounds like your done here. Earth. Your on your way to nirvana...if you know about buddhist philosophy...or spirituality in general. If you don't it doesn't matter, don't bother looking into it. Sounds like you don't need it at all.

It seems that you have 'the peace that passeth all understanding'...or 'enlightenment' as some call it.

Yeh, I also don't have too much attachment to things...I still get upset now and again about not seeing people that I had a really great connection with anymore...like a couple old friends.

Monkey King · Oct 6, 2011

I get attached to my goals.

juicebox330 · Oct 6, 2011

hmm thats really interesting. I'm a NF, ENFP to be exact

I too have felt like I don't become attached to things. My dad has even accused me of being selfish and uncaring. Thats only when I get in trouble and I get the whole "Well you didn't care enough to not do it/ stop them/ avoid it... etc." But I dont mean it, there is only a handful of things I am truly passionate about and Im not even crazy with those few things. It just doesn't happen for me, it's not a natural force within me.

I've struggled in some areas concerning thisfor a very long time, but I try to change as I get older and mature. Luckily, its not completely terrible. I dont break or lose my temper as easily as others. And I'm also a very independant person because of it.

funcoolname · Oct 6, 2011

Ii had an ENTJ boyfriend kindof like that! I always assumed it was because his family life was a little messed up when he was a kid, and I eventually squeezed some emotion out of him, but his inability to become attached made him a bit of a narcissist jerk at times. But I also think he was quite insecure, so maybe that had something to do with it. Either way, I think it's always helpful to reflect a little on gratitude and how you should care for the people around you because they do provide you with a lot. I can get a bit selfish and unattached sometimes and this uusually helps to ground me.

not saying anyone else has this problem as an entj - - hee was unhealthy

Thomas60 · Oct 7, 2011

I'm not a loner, because certainly I have/can make meaningful relations, but I can also leave them without emotional repurcussion... the bonds of trust and goodwill remain regardless, but it's always understood that it's our own path first, and whilst we are crossing paths, make good relationships on the way. This is not due to some 'way I was raised, blame it on childhood' (since i've moved area several times (7+) through school, in quiet little villages, another 3 through university, now country).

I might put my aspirations first, but there is a lot of room for building meaningful relations, it doesn't matter how long or far I am away, if paths cross again, it's a quick shake of hands (metaphorically or not) and "what can I do for you" (without going out of my way beyond what they would go for me).

n2freedom · Oct 7, 2011

Chipps said:
im not saying im above people who do identify with things, and I understand why they do, but I cant process doing it. Does that make sense? Is this an ENTJ thing? NT thing? hm. Thanks for reading. Looking forward to your perspective. :happy:

I can relate to a certain degree. I can attach. However, it is not easy and it is not often. I wonder if it has more to do with Enneagram theory vs MBTI. I find that Eights are very independent and protect their personal freedom and for the most part will arrange their life to ensure that they will not be let down or hurt by others. So, I could see attachment avoidance being a them with type Eights.

Also, type 9 is common among ISFP's and I find that Nines more readily attach and it is difficult for them to detach once they have become attached to someone. I also notice that they can have the tendency to put others needs before their own.

dagnytaggart · Oct 7, 2011

I do, unfortunately. Namely, caffeine and bad habits, like staying up too late. (ahem... ._.)

However, I've never really attached to people, places, or ideas.

wiarumas · Oct 7, 2011

Somewhat.

I'm not attached to things that aren't attached to me which could be groups, organizations, schools, people, cities, countries, states.

But I am attached to things that I am responsible for: as @Monkey King said, goals, if I started my OWN group, organization, etc... my family, pets, etc.

Siggy · Oct 7, 2011

I get attached to pets, but thats where it ends. It comes down to independence, and the desire to avoid idolizing things and people.

Chipps · Oct 7, 2011

Dear Sigmund said:
I get attached to pets, but thats where it ends. It comes down to independence, and the desire to avoid idolizing things and people.

Im the exact same way. I forgot to add that I am also really attached to pets. I could probably get angry enough to run someone down with a car and not shed a tear, but just today I slowed a bit to allow a couple squirrels to get across the street safely.

I agree with the independence thing too. I read/heard that people who idolize or take on role models tend to not be independent or free thinkers? i dont know if there was any evidence to back that up or not, but it sounded interesting.

Chipps · Oct 7, 2011

n2freedom said:
I can relate to a certain degree. I can attach. However, it is not easy and it is not often. I wonder if it has more to do with Enneagram theory vs MBTI. I find that Eights are very independent and protect their personal freedom and for the most part will arrange their life to ensure that they will not be let down or hurt by others. So, I could see attachment avoidance being a them with type Eights.

Also, type 9 is common among ISFP's and I find that Nines more readily attach and it is difficult for them to detach once they have become attached to someone. I also notice that they can have the tendency to put others needs before their own.

This is funny because I definitely protect my independence as well as personal freedom. Threatening either one of those will make me extremely defensive and you will probably get hurt. I am also a type 8 if you didnt already see that. Whenever someone asks me what animal I would want to be I always say a bird because they can fly and for me that represents the freedom that I want. I also have a HUGE problem with rules. I really cant stand them. I kind of think they dont apply to me so I will automatically disregard them especially when it comes to behavioral rules. People always tell me "you can't do/say that", or "you're supposed to do it like this" and im like...why? and they usually rarely have a response other than..."thats what you're supposed to do." I have a brain. i can think for myself. I dont need to be told what to do. Im perfectly fine figuring it out for myself. That sounds maybe more arrogant than I intend but hopefully you get the point im trying to make. Rules I think exist for people who otherwise wouldnt know what to do. But thats just my opinion.

Chipps · Oct 7, 2011

Monkey King said:
I get attached to my goals.

I can understand that. I want to go to South Korea next June for a few years, and I came to that conclusion about a year ago, and have pretty much done all the research on it and I could be ready to leave tomorrow if only time sped up.

Now that I think about it, I do get attached to my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. The reasoning I have for this is because it can't be stripped from me. It kind of annoys me when people get all their confidence, and self-esteem from jobs, titles, or money, or status because all of those things can be taken away from you. Im not saying you shouldn't feel good about any of those things, but I think most people dont consider what it would mean if they were taken away. I've people threaten to not promote me, or fire me, or dislike me simply because I didn't bow like they wanted and I always have a simple response.."So, do it." Its like taking the power that they thought they had over me.

CCCXXIX · Oct 7, 2011

Chipps said:
Sometimes I think that its kind of weird how I build no true attachment to anything. For examples, groups, organizations, schools, people, cities, countries, states etc. I dont get indoctrinated or invested in things on an intense level. I can be friends with people for years and hang out with them every other day, but if that stops it doesnt bother me and I barely notice. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and while i do care about him, if we broke up tomorrow i dont think i would shed one tear or even blink. If someone challenges what I think or believe I dont get upset by it or feel threatened. Im not close with any of my family members or siblings and I havent seen my mother in 3 years. I also dont favorite anything. Like i dont have a favorite color, or movie, or band, song, genre, actress etc. I like all of those things but I dont love any of them. Im not die hard for anything. When I was growing up I was a loner and it never bothered me if i wasnt invited or included (prom, homecoming, parties). I was simply content. Im still a loner now and im 22 and in college.People always tell me I hate everything, but the truth is i dont have emotional attachments to things. Im just neutral.

Is that weird?

None of this bothers me by the way but I feel like it should. Is anyone else like this?

its like my confidence, self-assurance or self esteem are just there. if any of them are shaken its because Im doubting myself or because I let myself down not because of anyone or anything else.

the reason im questioning this is because my ISFP boyfriend is the exact opposite and gets severely attached to everything. Its like my brain cant process it. His identity is wrapped up in this favorite sports teams, clothing brands, bands he likes, etc. If you attack or dislike any of those "things" he take it personal.

im not saying im above people who do identify with things, and I understand why they do, but I cant process doing it. Does that make sense? Is this an ENTJ thing? NT thing? hm. Thanks for reading. Looking forward to your perspective. :happy:

Nope, this is completely normal, you aren't "the one and only" out there that functions like this. But your probably wont be like this forever, your feeling functions will develop in time. You are still very young, realize that all your functions continue to develop throughout your lifetime.

NTs tend to be more able to let their logic dominate the mind as opposed to letting feeling take over (even in extreme cases). Sometimes, within the inner workings of my brain, some piece of logic is blocking off the feelings to keep everything normal (my mind doesn't handle emotions all that well). It's kind of like having an "Fi-Off" switch (can't seem to turn it back on though, oh well it comes back on eventually).

Monkey King · Oct 7, 2011

Chipps said:
I can understand that. I want to go to South Korea next June for a few years, and I came to that conclusion about a year ago, and have pretty much done all the research on it and I could be ready to leave tomorrow if only time sped up.

You know what's odd about that last thing you said. As I was reading that one article by Raul mentioned in wiarmus' post "Depression, Motivation, Success" I realized (today) that I was chasing time but instead I'm letting time catch up.

Sometimes the time gap in between Point A and Point B is so far in between that it allows me to think of all the things I could have improved upon to have a better point B (interestingly enough while this is happening my mind is also hovering over Point C). It's this point that I begin spiraling as the immensity of all the ways I could have made it better weighs on my shoulders.

Somewhere in that chaos, the thought of "OMG I'm running out of time" crosses, until of course one settles. An epiphany hits and BAM you realize, "You're way ahead in time and all things are falling into place (not perfect as envisioned) but they are aligning as you've imagined." At this point, I think Point B is just about to meet you face-to-face at the exact moment you've predicted and Point C is already peaking over in the horizon.

Chipps · Oct 8, 2011

I know im not the only one obviously. Its just that i rarely come into contact with people that are NTs and if i do i feel like i dont spend alot of time around them to figure it out. Which is funny since i go to one of the biggest colleges in the country. Im fine being a loner and different 99% of the time, but every once in a while it would be nice to encounter another entj or intj etc. Since i have a strong personality i always attract more submissive personalities and its kind of annoying since i feel like they are never themselves fully around me because im judgemental. Im waiting for the day to meet someone like me: straight-forward, honest, funny, opinionated etc. Someone who doesnt mind a verbal sparring session and never takes it personally, you know?

Celtic Dreams · Oct 8, 2011

Monkey King said:
I get attached to my goals.

My boyfriend always says he's determined to make our relationship a good one because its the one thing he's never been able to do. I've always wondered how to take this statement, as it makes me feel kind of like part of a project. But it's a good project, so I let it rest...lol

Tendency · Oct 8, 2011

Chipps said:
Is that weird?

None of this bothers me by the way but I feel like it should. Is anyone else like this?

D'ohhh don't worry. A little psychopathy never hurt any one...person.

Monkey King · Oct 8, 2011

Celtic Dreams said:
My boyfriend always says he's determined to make our relationship a good one because its the one thing he's never been able to do. I've always wondered how to take this statement, as it makes me feel kind of like part of a project. But it's a good project, so I let it rest...lol

Well, be assured that he'll do whatever it'll take to make it work. But do make sure he slows down and allot some time to understand you.

princess82 · Oct 8, 2011

Chipps said:
Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and while i do care about him, if we broke up tomorrow i dont think i would shed one tear or even blink.

Perhaps you may care about him, but you're just not that into him?

Chipps said:
I also dont favorite anything. Like i dont have a favorite color, or movie, or band, song, genre, actress etc. I like all of those things but I dont love any of them. Im not die hard for anything. When I was growing up I was a loner and it never bothered me if i wasnt invited or included (prom, homecoming, parties). I was simply content. Im still a loner now and im 22 and in college.People always tell me I hate everything, but the truth is i dont have emotional attachments to things. Im just neutral.

You don't listen to a certain genre of music more than any other? I don't think it's weird that you weren't bothered if you weren't invited to parties and stuff. Also, you've surely got some interests that you're invested in. Perhaps you haven't met anyone who shares those interests?

I don't get attached to anything. Is that true for any of you?

Chipps

Heaven Star

Monkey King

juicebox330

funcoolname

Thomas60

n2freedom

dagnytaggart

wiarumas

Siggy

Chipps

Chipps

Chipps

CCCXXIX

Monkey King

Chipps

Celtic Dreams

Tendency

Monkey King

princess82

Top Contributors this Month

Recommended Communities