Your thoughts?What It's Like to Love a Six by Susan Reynolds
Sixes can be very engaging when you first meet them. They exude energy, and because they desire a long-term relationship and want to attract the best person possible, they are usually physically fit, well put together, cultured, witty, charming, and effusive. That being said, the primary attraction to Sixes is that they are amazingly loyal.
When they are integrated, Sixes are delightful, exceedingly committed, loyal companions. When somewhere in the middle or ego-driven stages, they're intrinsically distrustful, suspicious, a bit paranoid, and hard to pin down — appearing friendly and compliant one day and hostile and reactionary the next. The problem with ego-driven or pathological Sixes is that they lack trust in themselves or in anyone else. As such, they look for authoritative figures to give their lives direction and essentially tell them what to do. They often become so insecure that they won't make a move, or even make a single decision, without someone telling them what to do. Obviously, this quickly becomes a drag on the partner.
Sixes have a sort of dual personality. They rely on outside authority figures to help them feel safe in the world, but this often leads to feeling resentful toward them, feeling like they have had a bellyfull of being told what to do, and rebelling against those same authority figures.
Sixes view the outer world as threatening and cope by desperately seeking security at any price. They constantly scan the surroundings and what's going on with everyone to get the first jump — developing a self-defensive posture that is both off-putting and limiting.
Sixes are programmed to expect the worst, and when they slide toward pathology, their schizoid behavior sets all their worst nightmares in motion. When they are pathological, they live in a constant state of anxiety and are so insecure they need constant attention. They often become hypervigilant, controlling, and paranoid, pushing away the very people who once helped them feel secure.
What you'll love about Sixes:
What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
- They may have a strong belief system that reinforces admirable values.
- They are usually honest, fair, reliable, hardworking, and all-around solid citizens.
- They typically take their time and check you out thoroughly before committing.
- They can be exceedingly dedicated and loyal once committed.
- You can usually depend on them to come through in emergencies.
- They can be exceedingly practical and make educated decisions only after exploring all the options and ferreting out the best one.
- They typically don't make impulsive choices or go off on wild tangents.
- They will fight for what they believe in.
Self-actualized Sixes use their exceptional intellectual abilities to scan the horizon for potential partners who will share their values and commit to a mutually beneficial, long-term relationship. Once they have committed to you, they will never let you down or abandon you when you need them.
- They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds.
- They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary.
- They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance.
- They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules.
- They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things.
- They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone.
- They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security.
- They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement.
- They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic.
What It's Like to Love a Six
n2freedom
Your thoughts?
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In retrospect, YES!
Hyper vigilance is only triggered after being highly suspicious of "insignificant" things to the SO. Questions are then asked to appease any suspicions.
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A healthy person of any type is rare. 6s are not unhealthier than anyone else...
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I agree. I should have been more clear.
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What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds.<-- Still a problem.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary.<-- Still have problem with this one.
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance. <-- Not anymore. I've learnt to be extremely open. No mixed signals from me. Or that's what I would like to believe
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules<-- Problem till I was about 20-ish. Overcome.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things. <--- I'm very trusting of the person I love. My mind does raise doubts but I quell them.
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone. <--- Don't relate to this at all. Probably depends of level of health. I've never been able to not trust anyone. I always have had a social circle I could trust. Or at least 1 or 2 people.
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security.<-- I seek security, but I'm not obsessed with seeking it - never have been. Maybe in times of extreme duress and loneliness.
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement. <--- Yup. That's me - still me. I've stopped becoming defensive and more accepting. But I still do react and sometimes too strongly. Working on it.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic <--- I'm not judgemental. But I can become very sarcastic and confrontational about small things. Not in a relationship though.
Thanks for the share.
Ever since I've learnt about my own nature as a Type 6 - the chaos, the fire and ice, the contradictions --- I constantly, constantly tell my ENFJ love that I have these problems and I keep asking her to trust the love and sometimes accept the chaos when it comes.
She understands me very, very well. She's a Type 2 and we both know a lot about each other and have actually used some parts of MBTI and Enneagrams to learn more and more about each other --- and it's added to both our understanding and love for each other
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds.<-- Still a problem.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary.<-- Still have problem with this one.
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance. <-- Not anymore. I've learnt to be extremely open. No mixed signals from me. Or that's what I would like to believe
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules<-- Problem till I was about 20-ish. Overcome.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things. <--- I'm very trusting of the person I love. My mind does raise doubts but I quell them.
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone. <--- Don't relate to this at all. Probably depends of level of health. I've never been able to not trust anyone. I always have had a social circle I could trust. Or at least 1 or 2 people.
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security.<-- I seek security, but I'm not obsessed with seeking it - never have been. Maybe in times of extreme duress and loneliness.
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement. <--- Yup. That's me - still me. I've stopped becoming defensive and more accepting. But I still do react and sometimes too strongly. Working on it.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic <--- I'm not judgemental. But I can become very sarcastic and confrontational about small things. Not in a relationship though.
Thanks for the share.
Ever since I've learnt about my own nature as a Type 6 - the chaos, the fire and ice, the contradictions --- I constantly, constantly tell my ENFJ love that I have these problems and I keep asking her to trust the love and sometimes accept the chaos when it comes.
She understands me very, very well. She's a Type 2 and we both know a lot about each other and have actually used some parts of MBTI and Enneagrams to learn more and more about each other --- and it's added to both our understanding and love for each other
What you'll love about Sixes:
They may have a strong belief system that reinforces admirable values. -- I guess you could say that.
They are usually honest, fair, reliable, hardworking, and all-around solid citizens. -- Probably
They typically take their time and check you out thoroughly before committing. -- Absolutely
They can be exceedingly dedicated and loyal once committed. -- Yes, to the point of ignoring my own needs
You can usually depend on them to come through in emergencies. -- Probably, albeit I don't have good social skills.
They can be exceedingly practical and make educated decisions only after exploring all the options and ferreting out the best one. --Yes
They typically don't make impulsive choices or go off on wild tangents. -- I love doing what would appear to be wild tangents and impulsvie choices to others. Typically they aren't random choices to me, since I've already thought them through, but they certainly can appear to be random.
They will fight for what they believe in. -- I don't know. I don't think so. The things I believe in are best supported by not fighting.
What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds. -- Actually no. I am quite decisive.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary. -- I do second-guess myself a lot, but I am quite likely to stick to what I said the first time.
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance. -- Probably, I have no idea.
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules. -- Rules, what rules? I appreciate the importance of guidelines in what other people want, but I'm ok with having those guidelines shift.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things. -- I can be, but I'm learning how to only be suspicious about the important ones
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone. -- I can be over-caring, and I might not seem to trust other people, but I can trust. It might take a while, but I can.
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security. -- (grammar error!) I do want external security, and I can see that becoming an obsession if I didn't have internal security.
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement. -- Yes I can be.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic. -- I hope I'm not judgmental, although I can be quite sarcastic at times, although I don't normally use my sarcasm to hurt people.
They may have a strong belief system that reinforces admirable values. -- I guess you could say that.
They are usually honest, fair, reliable, hardworking, and all-around solid citizens. -- Probably
They typically take their time and check you out thoroughly before committing. -- Absolutely
They can be exceedingly dedicated and loyal once committed. -- Yes, to the point of ignoring my own needs
You can usually depend on them to come through in emergencies. -- Probably, albeit I don't have good social skills.
They can be exceedingly practical and make educated decisions only after exploring all the options and ferreting out the best one. --Yes
They typically don't make impulsive choices or go off on wild tangents. -- I love doing what would appear to be wild tangents and impulsvie choices to others. Typically they aren't random choices to me, since I've already thought them through, but they certainly can appear to be random.
They will fight for what they believe in. -- I don't know. I don't think so. The things I believe in are best supported by not fighting.
What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds. -- Actually no. I am quite decisive.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary. -- I do second-guess myself a lot, but I am quite likely to stick to what I said the first time.
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance. -- Probably, I have no idea.
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules. -- Rules, what rules? I appreciate the importance of guidelines in what other people want, but I'm ok with having those guidelines shift.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things. -- I can be, but I'm learning how to only be suspicious about the important ones
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone. -- I can be over-caring, and I might not seem to trust other people, but I can trust. It might take a while, but I can.
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security. -- (grammar error!) I do want external security, and I can see that becoming an obsession if I didn't have internal security.
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement. -- Yes I can be.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic. -- I hope I'm not judgmental, although I can be quite sarcastic at times, although I don't normally use my sarcasm to hurt people.
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Have you guys ever licked a lamp post in winter?
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are you sure you haven't "licked a lamp post in winter" ?
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Sex.....^^;. I thought the whole thing would be funny.
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Actually a thousand hermit crabs in a trench coat pretending to be human.
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I have never seen anything so accurate as this in regards to how I act in a relationship. I'm trying not to be so doubtful all the time and see hidden meanings everywhere, trying to trust more and let go of some things, but when there are situations where things don't add up, I become really intrigued and I feel the need to find the truth. I really may be a 6.
Do you have "What it's like to love a ..." for other enneagram types? They were all up on netplaces.com, but now they redirect to about.com where nothing shows up!
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From a friend I've talked to that's involved with a six, the word they used to describe it was "Intense."
My S.O says "Mysterious"
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My S.O says "Mysterious"
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
What It's Like to Love a Six by Susan Reynolds
Sixes can be very engaging when you first meet them. They exude energy, and because they desire a long-term relationship and want to attract the best person possible, they are usually physically fit, well put together, cultured, witty, charming, and effusive. That being said, the primary attraction to Sixes is that they are amazingly loyal.
Basically agree.
When they are integrated, Sixes are delightful, exceedingly committed, loyal companions. When somewhere in the middle or ego-driven stages, they're intrinsically distrustful, suspicious, a bit paranoid, and hard to pin down — appearing friendly and compliant one day and hostile and reactionary the next. The problem with ego-driven or pathological Sixes is that they lack trust in themselves or in anyone else. As such, they look for authoritative figures to give their lives direction and essentially tell them what to do. They often become so insecure that they won't make a move, or even make a single decision, without someone telling them what to do. Obviously, this quickly becomes a drag on the partner.
Okay....
Sixes have a sort of dual personality. They rely on outside authority figures to help them feel safe in the world, but this often leads to feeling resentful toward them, feeling like they have had a bellyfull of being told what to do, and rebelling against those same authority figures.
Not really...
Sixes view the outer world as threatening and cope by desperately seeking security at any price. They constantly scan the surroundings and what's going on with everyone to get the first jump — developing a self-defensive posture that is both off-putting and limiting.
Sort of...
Sixes are programmed to expect the worst, and when they slide toward pathology, their schizoid behavior sets all their worst nightmares in motion. When they are pathological, they live in a constant state of anxiety and are so insecure they need constant attention. They often become hypervigilant, controlling, and paranoid, pushing away the very people who once helped them feel secure.
A little bit...
What you'll love about Sixes:
They may have a strong belief system that reinforces admirable values.
Sure
They are usually honest, fair, reliable, hardworking, and all-around solid citizens.
Eh... That's over idealized
They typically take their time and check you out thoroughly before committing.
Yes very much
They can be exceedingly dedicated and loyal once committed.
Yes
You can usually depend on them to come through in emergencies.
Yes
They can be exceedingly practical and make educated decisions only after exploring all the options and ferreting out the best one.
Yes
They typically don't make impulsive choices or go off on wild tangents.
Uh.... No.
They will fight for what they believe in.
Yes
What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds.
Sometimes yeah.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary.
True
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance.
Eh? I guess.
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules.
Um, no, not at all.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things.
Ugh. Yeah =(
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone.
Yeah....
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security.
I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement.
It depends what this means. I tend to try really hard to shut off.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic.
Sort of?
Self-actualized Sixes use their exceptional intellectual abilities to scan the horizon for potential partners who will share their values and commit to a mutually beneficial, long-term relationship. Once they have committed to you, they will never let you down or abandon you when you need them.
Over idealized, but broadly true.
We're not like giant loyalty magic machines who never disappoint people. But ths first sentence is true.
Sixes can be very engaging when you first meet them. They exude energy, and because they desire a long-term relationship and want to attract the best person possible, they are usually physically fit, well put together, cultured, witty, charming, and effusive. That being said, the primary attraction to Sixes is that they are amazingly loyal.
Basically agree.
When they are integrated, Sixes are delightful, exceedingly committed, loyal companions. When somewhere in the middle or ego-driven stages, they're intrinsically distrustful, suspicious, a bit paranoid, and hard to pin down — appearing friendly and compliant one day and hostile and reactionary the next. The problem with ego-driven or pathological Sixes is that they lack trust in themselves or in anyone else. As such, they look for authoritative figures to give their lives direction and essentially tell them what to do. They often become so insecure that they won't make a move, or even make a single decision, without someone telling them what to do. Obviously, this quickly becomes a drag on the partner.
Okay....
Sixes have a sort of dual personality. They rely on outside authority figures to help them feel safe in the world, but this often leads to feeling resentful toward them, feeling like they have had a bellyfull of being told what to do, and rebelling against those same authority figures.
Not really...
Sixes view the outer world as threatening and cope by desperately seeking security at any price. They constantly scan the surroundings and what's going on with everyone to get the first jump — developing a self-defensive posture that is both off-putting and limiting.
Sort of...
Sixes are programmed to expect the worst, and when they slide toward pathology, their schizoid behavior sets all their worst nightmares in motion. When they are pathological, they live in a constant state of anxiety and are so insecure they need constant attention. They often become hypervigilant, controlling, and paranoid, pushing away the very people who once helped them feel secure.
A little bit...
What you'll love about Sixes:
They may have a strong belief system that reinforces admirable values.
Sure
They are usually honest, fair, reliable, hardworking, and all-around solid citizens.
Eh... That's over idealized
They typically take their time and check you out thoroughly before committing.
Yes very much
They can be exceedingly dedicated and loyal once committed.
Yes
You can usually depend on them to come through in emergencies.
Yes
They can be exceedingly practical and make educated decisions only after exploring all the options and ferreting out the best one.
Yes
They typically don't make impulsive choices or go off on wild tangents.
Uh.... No.
They will fight for what they believe in.
Yes
What will drive you crazy about Sixes:
They often lack enough self-confidence to make up their own minds.
Sometimes yeah.
They are always second-guessing themselves and being contrary.
True
They send mixed signals, keeping you off balance.
Eh? I guess.
They freak out if you break the rules or if they break the rules.
Um, no, not at all.
They can be suspicious about the most insignificant things.
Ugh. Yeah =(
They are often overprotective and don't seem to trust anyone.
Yeah....
They can absolutely obsessed with obtaining external security.
I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean
They can be reactive and defensive when in the throes of disagreement.
It depends what this means. I tend to try really hard to shut off.
They can be judgmental and bitingly sarcastic.
Sort of?
Self-actualized Sixes use their exceptional intellectual abilities to scan the horizon for potential partners who will share their values and commit to a mutually beneficial, long-term relationship. Once they have committed to you, they will never let you down or abandon you when you need them.
Over idealized, but broadly true.
We're not like giant loyalty magic machines who never disappoint people. But ths first sentence is true.
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