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Sometimes I Wish I Was An Introvert

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HonestThief

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
Sorry if this seems a bit hard to follow or anything I'm listening to music right now and it's 2:30am where I'm at on planet earth.

Basically I was watching the new spiderman movie in the theater and I was thinking bout how I'm leaving a bunch of friends (based on parental decision my mum works there I'm hard to keep focused blah blah blah) and going to a different highschool next year. And in the movie spiderman is most definately an introvert (Istp right?) anyways I was thinking. It seems like life would be so much easier as an outgoing introvert. I'm sure I'll meet new friends and all but for the first while I'll feel kinda lonely :unsure: even right now with it being summer and people all being on vacation (or just being crappy friends) I only talk to a select few. I know it's to be expected but I hate it. I hate my need for someone to be there. I love being around people, don't get me wrong. That's not why I want to be introverted. I wish I was introverted so I wouldn't feel the gaping loneliness when in all honesty I haven't gone more than a day or two without talking to at least one of my friends (less than a day for my girlfriend). Idk what I'm trying to say. I've just been getting so emotional lately. Partially because I found out who my true friends were (a more surprising number than expected but mostly girls o_O) and stress with my girlfriend and our busy schedules and just everything y'know? Maybe I need to go out and see people more. Only person I've gone out to see is my girlfriend and once with my close friend Jacob. Think that's the problem?

I should probably leave a question instead of just a self pity thread, so does anyone else ever feel the want to be an introvert? or maybe not that, but see the benefit to it? and any idea why I feel so freaking lonely out of the blue for maybe just like one or two hours a day? and then someone calls me, or a favorite food is for lunch or something and suddenly all better. Its so weird :frustrating: idk thanks for reading and good night (bows honorably)
 
#2 ·
I am a complete introvert behaviorally. I dislike shallow interactions with people, I prefer time alone, and I am much more reserved and cautious unless I know you very well(then I'm the craziest person you'll meet). I can go a long while without real-life people(running at about a week or so-two weeks is a bit too much, but I can still stand it). Though, my functions are still Ne-Fi-Te-Si.

Let me say that I completely understand where you are coming from. The need to see people can be immense, and it stinks not being able to do so. Have you thought about, if you can't interact with people on a regular basis, trying to find a hobby or something? It isn't an amazing substitute, although it will keep you focused on the outside world and engage your extroverted side a bit more. Sorry if that didn't help much.
 
#3 ·
Sigh. And I wish I were a natural, social butterfly.

Getting uprooted out of your home is never a painless experience. But you'll get through it and make new friends along the way. You might be fearing loneliness, but you also probably have natural social skills and a craving for something new which will get you to a better place.

Keep at it. You'll do good.
 
#4 ·
I'm very sorry to hear you are enduring such inner turmoil and confusion, @HonestThief.
I am what you would call an "outgoing introvert". I require solitude because I am very easily drained by people but when among a crowd, I am more sociable than people expect. The thing is, I hardly ever see people. I prefer to be on my own for about, oh say, 90% of my time and that 10% of my time which I spend with people, I am mostly wishing I could be alone. I digress.

If you derive your energy from people, then why not take @Solar Storm's advice and find a hobby but one that might include getting to know others in the process? Don't reject your extroversion because you feel life might be easier as an "outgoing introvert". It's a part of you; you ought to nurture your need to be around people. The more you resist it, the harder it is going to become. Accept that you enjoy being around others, that it gives you the boost you need, and find a way to immerse yourself in some kind of regular activity that encourages interpersonal interaction. You will make more friends, meet new people, experience new things, and learn from that kind of admirable openness which is inherent in you: the kind of potential every ENFP is born with.

Good luck.
 
#5 ·
HonestThief said:
Sorry if this seems a bit hard to follow or anything I'm listening to music right now and it's 2:30am where I'm at on planet earth.

Basically I was watching the new spiderman movie in the theater and I was thinking bout how I'm leaving a bunch of friends (based on parental decision my mum works there I'm hard to keep focused blah blah blah) and going to a different highschool next year. And in the movie spiderman is most definately an introvert (Istp right?) anyways I was thinking. It seems like life would be so much easier as an outgoing introvert. I'm sure I'll meet new friends and all but for the first while I'll feel kinda lonely :unsure: even right now with it being summer and people all being on vacation (or just being crappy friends) I only talk to a select few. I know it's to be expected but I hate it. I hate my need for someone to be there. I love being around people, don't get me wrong. That's not why I want to be introverted. I wish I was introverted so I wouldn't feel the gaping loneliness when in all honesty I haven't gone more than a day or two without talking to at least one of my friends (less than a day for my girlfriend). Idk what I'm trying to say. I've just been getting so emotional lately. Partially because I found out who my true friends were (a more surprising number than expected but mostly girls o_O) and stress with my girlfriend and our busy schedules and just everything y'know? Maybe I need to go out and see people more. Only person I've gone out to see is my girlfriend and once with my close friend Jacob. Think that's the problem?

I should probably leave a question instead of just a self pity thread, so does anyone else ever feel the want to be an introvert? or maybe not that, but see the benefit to it? and any idea why I feel so freaking lonely out of the blue for maybe just like one or two hours a day? and then someone calls me, or a favorite food is for lunch or something and suddenly all better. Its so weird :frustrating: idk thanks for reading and good night (bows honorably)
Click to expand...
The grass is always greender on the other side... I wish I was an extravert too ;)
 
Discussion starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the advice guys. I'll be running cross country and doing track next year so that'll help. And choir as well but not so interested in that haha. Anyways was just having a bad night and I'm better now. Thanks
 
#7 ·
Sometimes I wish I was introverted, like a recluse type of person, so people wouldn't bug me and I wouldn't have as many obligations. I think to myself "well, if I wasn't so outgoing then I wouldn't have all these people needing me or expecting me to do something". My life is really busy and hectic sometimes. I get myself sucked into too many things going on and feel like I need a breather and the walls are closing in on me. That is me in my stressed out mode, I suppose.

Other times I am thankful I am extroverted. I always thought my extroversion made me more adaptable? I have moved something like 30 something times in my 38 years of life. Im always meeting new people and have always been the "new" person. That being said, we did move between my sophomore and junior year 959 miles away to not just a new school but a whole new atmosphere. My first impression was that I really didn't want to go and leave my friends but then my mother told me I was being selfish for not thinking about my Dad's job. My Dad actually was going to base his decision on whether I wanted to move or not and I said I didn't want to go. Then my Mom called me back and said I was being selfish (at the time I was visiting a friend in New York for the summer and was not at home when my Dad called me) and a spoiled brat. So, I thought about it and it really did matter to me what my Dad's situation was and I decided to set my feelings aside and look at it like it was a new adventure. Which was the best thing that ever happened. :) Many good things came out of that move. So, I am going to encourage you and say that your loneliness will not last forever. You are going to make new friends and meet new people and it is a chance to learn just how great your people skills really are. You have a new adventure in front of you! Raise up that mainsail, test the waters, and prepare for the journey my fellow extrovert!
 
#11 ·
Jotum said:
come to the dark side we have cookies and hugs! If you become introverted you might find it harder to talk and interact with new people, I wish I was more extroverted so I weren't as shy as I am when it comes to new interactions with people i haven't met before..
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You're not introverted because you're shy. Maybe your level of introversion has not helped you hone your social skills, but your need for solitude does not usually cause shyness. There are some extroverted individuals who love to be around people but don't really feel they have much to say or may even feel shy, scared that they will say or do something stupid.

You are either an introvert or an extrovert and you cannot really "become" on or the other if you practice. Sure, if you are an introvert, you can become more outgoing and confident among people but that will not really affect your desire to recharge with some alone time. And an extrovert cannot stay alone all the time and convince him or herself that he or she is now introverted because there is still a yearning to be around and involved with people. Being alone, to the extrovert, is draining. They derive their energy from social interactions.

So, if I were you, I would not focus on wishing to be extroverted as much as I would focus on learning how to overcome my shyness. :)
 
#12 ·
SocioApathetic said:
You're not introverted because you're shy. Maybe your level of introversion has not helped you hone your social skills, but your need for solitude does not usually cause shyness. There are some extroverted individuals who love to be around people but don't really feel they have much to say or may even feel shy, scared that they will say or do something stupid.

You are either an introvert or an extrovert and you cannot really "become" on or the other if you practice. Sure, if you are an introvert, you can become more outgoing and confident among people but that will not really affect your desire to recharge with some alone time. And an extrovert cannot stay alone all the time and convince him or herself that he or she is now introverted because there is still a yearning to be around and involved with people. Being alone, to the extrovert, is draining. They derive their energy from social interactions.

So, if I were you, I would not focus on wishing to be extroverted as much as I would focus on learning how to overcome my shyness. :)
Click to expand...

You got a point, ofcourse my shyness is not caused by my introversion, but as you said, the fact that I am introverted makes it harder for me to overcome my shyness since i rather prefer to be alone or around my close friends, but i also need to tell myself to be more confident and not be so afraid of getting judged by other people, simple fact is that if the person wont like me for who I am then I probably wont like that person either haha, so nothing to loose there..

It's kinda problematic for me since its not that its always been like this but certain things that happened and been going on in my life have made me criticize myself almost to the point that many times I think that there is something wrong with me, anyway I'm working on it, if anyone got any good tips on how to increase my self esteem then I'll happily listen..
 
#13 ·
Jotum said:
You got a point, ofcourse my shyness is not caused by my introversion, but as you said, the fact that I am introverted makes it harder for me to overcome my shyness since i rather prefer to be alone or around my close friends, but i also need to tell myself to be more confident and not be so afraid of getting judged by other people, simple fact is that if the person wont like me for who I am then I probably wont like that person either haha, so nothing to loose there..

It's kinda problematic for me since its not that its always been like this but certain things that happened and been going on in my life have made me criticize myself almost to the point that many times I think that there is something wrong with me, anyway I'm working on it, if anyone got any good tips on how to increase my self esteem then I'll happily listen..
Click to expand...
Well, you might not be able to listen over the internet.... But you can read. =D Everyone has a gift, and everyone has good in them. When you find what you are good at, what your gift is, and when you find how good of a person you really are, grab onto that and allow that to help you overcome some of your problems. Best foot forward, they always say.

Maybe focus more on yourself as well? I know that sounds bad, but it isn't. If you aren't focused on yourself enough you are more likely just to see the instant shortcomings and mistakes that you make, instead of the good that you have done over time. Maybe some time for introspection is needed, get everything in your mind organized. That wouldn't be a bad idea to get started. You could always mentally scold yourself whenever you try to be overly critical of yourself, too.

I've gone through the same thing, don't worry. You can work through it. Hope this helped, even if just a bit. When you feel more confident, you will show it and the shyness will fix itself. Just get comfortable in your own skin, and the rest will follow. :proud:
 
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#14 ·
As an introvert, I have to be regularly dragged (by either my conscience or my friends/family) out of my internal residence for my own health. I tend to become irritable and defensive if I spend too much time "in my own head". It's sort of like how you really want yourself to be working on X important thing, but what you feel like doing is lazing around on the computer. Staying in my head doesn't require a lot of hard work, it's nice and easy and comfortable, like surfing TV Tropes. The opposite is probably true for extroverts .
 
#16 ·
HonestThief said:
Sorry if this seems a bit hard to follow or anything I'm listening to music right now and it's 2:30am where I'm at on planet earth.

Basically I was watching the new spiderman movie in the theater and I was thinking bout how I'm leaving a bunch of friends (based on parental decision my mum works there I'm hard to keep focused blah blah blah) and going to a different highschool next year. And in the movie spiderman is most definately an introvert (Istp right?) anyways I was thinking. It seems like life would be so much easier as an outgoing introvert. I'm sure I'll meet new friends and all but for the first while I'll feel kinda lonely :unsure: even right now with it being summer and people all being on vacation (or just being crappy friends) I only talk to a select few. I know it's to be expected but I hate it. I hate my need for someone to be there. I love being around people, don't get me wrong. That's not why I want to be introverted. I wish I was introverted so I wouldn't feel the gaping loneliness when in all honesty I haven't gone more than a day or two without talking to at least one of my friends (less than a day for my girlfriend). Idk what I'm trying to say. I've just been getting so emotional lately. Partially because I found out who my true friends were (a more surprising number than expected but mostly girls o_O) and stress with my girlfriend and our busy schedules and just everything y'know? Maybe I need to go out and see people more. Only person I've gone out to see is my girlfriend and once with my close friend Jacob. Think that's the problem?

I should probably leave a question instead of just a self pity thread, so does anyone else ever feel the want to be an introvert? or maybe not that, but see the benefit to it? and any idea why I feel so freaking lonely out of the blue for maybe just like one or two hours a day? and then someone calls me, or a favorite food is for lunch or something and suddenly all better. Its so weird :frustrating: idk thanks for reading and good night (bows honorably)
Click to expand...

I totally understand the feeling of wanting to be an introvert.. Sadly, ENFPs who resort to introversion, typically become the most depressing introverts.
I, while depressed resorted to introversion a few times, and I found myself sitting as far away from everyone as could, just hoping that someone would notice me.
Sadly, I'm starting to wish I were and introvert again..
 
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Discussion starter · #17 ·
OcarinaOfTime said:
I totally understand the feeling of wanting to be an introvert.. Sadly, ENFPs who resort to introversion, typically become the most depressing introverts.
I, while depressed resorted to introversion a few times, and I found myself sitting as far away from everyone as could, just hoping that someone would notice me.
Sadly, I'm starting to wish I were and introvert again..
Click to expand...
I know how you feel. Especially just withdrawing and hoping someone notices. But don't man. They notice, but most people don't know how to handle it so they wait for you to come back. I was having a rough night, but I feel better now thankfully
 
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#18 ·
HonestThief said:
I know how you feel. Especially just withdrawing and hoping someone notices. But don't man. They notice, but most people don't know how to handle it so they wait for you to come back. I was having a rough night, but I feel better now thankfully
Click to expand...
Yeah, I tried it a bit a long time ago.. Let's just say, things didn't turn out as I had hoped.
 
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