Sometimes I've been told that I seem arrogant, even if that's not how I'm trying to be at all. Have you ever been perceived as arrogant by people close to you?
BlackMoonlight
People think I'm arrogant because Te doesn't allow them to see the Si general. He's usually too busy sorting out intel from Ne. Fi is usually crying in the corner about my ideals. So yeah, I guess you can say I'm arrogant. Most of the time, people usually don't have anything interesting to say. It's just blah, blah, blah, or maybe that's just narcissism talking. lol
Not just by people close to me - many that know me only at a superficial level. The adjectives are many and usually run along the lines of: cold, unapproachable, aloof, brusque, arrogant, distant, cool, detached, reserved, withdrawn, unsociable, etc. I've also been frequently labeled as being "by the book."
Not that I'm aware of. I think the people close to me would describe me as being more stubborn than arrogant. People who aren't close to me have described me as being reticent and too serious.
People will forgive you for being wrong easily; they won't forgive you for being right.
Then they lash out and call you names, out of their embarrassment and defensiveness.
I was called a snob in high school.
Yes, I guess people see me as arrogant. Maybe I am. Or maybe I just think that if you're paid to do tasks X, Y and Z, you should do them. If you fail to do them, and that impacts me, I'll call you on it.
I think I strayed off-topic. Sorry.
Then they lash out and call you names, out of their embarrassment and defensiveness.
I was called a snob in high school.
Yes, I guess people see me as arrogant. Maybe I am. Or maybe I just think that if you're paid to do tasks X, Y and Z, you should do them. If you fail to do them, and that impacts me, I'll call you on it.
I think I strayed off-topic. Sorry.
My career in business (and the natural humility that tends to come with age) has taught me to present myself in a way that is less likely to be seen as arrogant. I can still come across that way to folks in some situations, but I think most people think of as confident without straying into arrogance.
I haven't had that particular word applied to me. Online - "bitter old woman". In person - "hard to get to know." I don't have that many friends so I can't think of any other descriptive words.
I think some people automatically assume that if you don't come up and do small talk or chat or whatever it is, that you are superior, arrogant or stuck-up..
I think some people automatically assume that if you don't come up and do small talk or chat or whatever it is, that you are superior, arrogant or stuck-up..
Yes.
People confuse confidence with arrogance. I will listen to anyone's ideas and even change my opinion if their's makes sense to me, but my statements based in my opinion and facts I know and confidence in saying them give off the impression that I always think I'm right and don't care what anyone else thinks.
People confuse confidence with arrogance. I will listen to anyone's ideas and even change my opinion if their's makes sense to me, but my statements based in my opinion and facts I know and confidence in saying them give off the impression that I always think I'm right and don't care what anyone else thinks.
Not really... it is more like they imagine I`m a certain way based on my looks and behavior until they get to know me better and then they open up and tell me what they were thinking. I`m unaware of their thoughts at the time but I am aware that I observe they are acting a little weird,uncomfortable or lacking confidence but I`m unsure why. Then I find out later what was going on. They didn`t understand that I was busy and had things on my mind.
I have learned body language and how to use smiles and small gestures that have helped me escape people (so I could get somewhere on time) without making them feel like I`m avoiding them. I`m getting so good at it I can almost feel it. I actually do have sincerity in feelings but have to do things so They will know for sure.
I have learned body language and how to use smiles and small gestures that have helped me escape people (so I could get somewhere on time) without making them feel like I`m avoiding them. I`m getting so good at it I can almost feel it. I actually do have sincerity in feelings but have to do things so They will know for sure.
Oftentimes, people have difficulty recognizing the distinction between arrogance and self-confidence, and I'd imagine that the more insecure the person, the more difficulty they'll have with recognizing that distinction. In my experience, the more insecure a person is, the more likely they are to resent someone who seems self-assured, prompting them to exaggerate that quality of confidence and self-control into some kind of flaw (like conceit, coldness, etc), thereby making themselves feel superior to this person who unwittingly made them, if only for a moment, recognize their own inadequacy.
Since the ISTJ's of my acquaintance have always come across to me as confident and disciplined, I'd imagine they experience this a lot. And while there certainly are people of every type out there who truly are arrogant, much of the time, being accused of this just means you're doing well in an area where someone else is not, and it pissed them off enough for them to try to sabotage your confidence, to try to make you question those things about yourself in which you take any degree of pride.
It's a kind of emotional terrorism, and I'm glad that I'm finally getting to an age where I'm almost -- almost -- immune to that sort of thing.
Since the ISTJ's of my acquaintance have always come across to me as confident and disciplined, I'd imagine they experience this a lot. And while there certainly are people of every type out there who truly are arrogant, much of the time, being accused of this just means you're doing well in an area where someone else is not, and it pissed them off enough for them to try to sabotage your confidence, to try to make you question those things about yourself in which you take any degree of pride.
It's a kind of emotional terrorism, and I'm glad that I'm finally getting to an age where I'm almost -- almost -- immune to that sort of thing.
Too many people,(aka more than one) think I'm arrogant about my attractiveness, knowledge, and ability in certain areas. I am sometimes, too. Like in cooking class the other day, I tried to convince my group not to listen to the instructions because I knew how to prepare the food better than the instructions(I was wrong). However, most of the time, people just don't like that I know I'm attractive and that I try to talk to them about scientific studies. This used to bother me, but now I understand that not everybody is going to think I'm a cool person. And by that, I mean, naturally, I just do everything I can to get them to like me and call it a day if they don't. I digress.
sometimes. I don't open up to people easily, because I always want to know their reason for wanting to get close to me. If I can come to a conclusion that a person is "safe" enough for me to open up to, I will make an effort to be friendly. If motives are unclear, I put up a defense. It's better to be safe than sorry.
I think people call me arrogant behind my back because I look often disinterested and often intervine when people say something that isn't true.
An affair once said to me:"I think many people think you're arrogant but I think it's because you're somehow afraid of people who you don't know". Hit me pretty hard because it's true to a certain point.
An affair once said to me:"I think many people think you're arrogant but I think it's because you're somehow afraid of people who you don't know". Hit me pretty hard because it's true to a certain point.
I try to inject more warmth and effusiveness into my personality than is natural for me. I also make a conscious effort to smile more and remember to bring that warmth into my eyes (otherwise it looks weird). I make these accommodations in order to keep my inter-personal relations more amicable and friendly. It's really important at work. I still can't help but hate lunchrooms and I'll try to separate myself as often as I can without it seeming too "weird." I've had to make a lot of personal adjustments not to seem weird to think about it...
Some people would consider me to be unfriendly. I confess I don't really get why it is so important to be sooooo friendly alll the time. It's very tiring for me. It's hard to feign interest when I have none. I resent the implications of the term "unfriendly" as well because it implies that I'm somehow sinister or not to be trusted. Some of the worst criminals in history have been very charismatic and appealing so I would be more wary of those types.
Some people would consider me to be unfriendly. I confess I don't really get why it is so important to be sooooo friendly alll the time. It's very tiring for me. It's hard to feign interest when I have none. I resent the implications of the term "unfriendly" as well because it implies that I'm somehow sinister or not to be trusted. Some of the worst criminals in history have been very charismatic and appealing so I would be more wary of those types.
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