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I think attractive people are generally nicer and kinder

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Nick Carraway

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
Generally is the key word here.

To an extent we can relate this to parts of the Halo Effect but I have found this to be so true in my experience in real life and even on the internet. Like we can apply this to generally successful and intelligent people too but mostly to physically attractive people. In real life I have noticed that attractive girls and attractive guys are really kind and open minded about letting others hang out with them (this is after high school) and are generally not the type of people who are openly rude to everyone.

I call back to a trip I took to NYC on a conference. I had to room with two guys. One guy was a tall attractive dude everyone said looked good. The other guy was the one everyone made fun of because of his "country accent" and he had the reputation of being sleazy. I roomed with these guys and found some things to be true. The attractive guy was generally nice to everyone, carried himself with pride and dignity, and most of all he was a joy to be around, almost everyone loved him. The unattractive guy would go off on rants about other nationalities and I almost got into a fight with him too (almost all other guys hated him too for some odd reason).

Not only that experience but in many other experiences too. Like girls I have known who were rude and downright mean to other girls and even guys were girls most guys did not want a thing to do with.

Now I know this is just my experience but I am shocked I am having this experience. I would think that attractive people are the ones who are acting that way and being overwhelmingly rude but it isn't true at all.

Is it odd that I think this way? I know we are all individuals but I have just noticed this so much.
 
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#2 ·
Studies show women find serious men more attractive then smiling men however the opposite applies to men. And women say they're attracted to 'nice guys' but that's not true, they like arrogant cocky dicks like myself. In my experience, I've always attracted girls I didn't like and actually drove away the girls I did like into the 'friend zone' because I used to be really nice to them because I liked them but to be honest I'm a bit of an arrogant cock and generally a bit of a dick and despite what women say they find that attractive.
 
#5 ·
I don't see that correlation at all... In fact, I think that's a pretty biased and unfair assessment. I know plenty of average and "unattractive" people who are very kind and respectful. Likewise, I can think of several "attractive" people who seem to feel entitled/think they're better than others and as a result treat others poorly. Both of those things are in direct opposition to your experiences, so I'm pretty sure there's no real correlation between looks and overall attitude. People are people and looks don't dictate a person's values, attitude, and outlook on life. Perhaps, you are attributing these great qualities to these good-looking people for the simple fact that they are attractive to you and vice versa. You're most certainly entitled to your opinion, but I don't agree at all : )

Sat Nam
 
Discussion starter · #6 ·
Peripatetic said:
I've observed this as well. Given the cultural hyper-valuation of looks, attractive people get preferred treatment which makes a person feel pretty good... & as Jung says "it's the tortured who become the torturer".
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apparently you get my point as well
 
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#8 ·
Personally, I think that people who aren't physically attractive are more inclined to have a beautiful personality. You have to win people over with your wit, humor and genuine personality if you don't have good looks. Although, that doesn't mean that all unattractive people have nice personalities... Pretty people generally get treated with respect by most people they meet initially (most of us judge appearance and take it into consideration of their personality), whereas unattractive people aren't always given that same respect.

I think what you're perceiving is confidence, not niceness. Pretty people generally have more confidence, capable of being nice and engaging with others without the fear of being shot down. Some unattractive people don't have that confidence, allowing their fear to hold them back from opening up and showing their nice side.

In my experience, I find gorgeous guys to be typically nicer than pretty girls...
 
Discussion starter · #9 ·
I feel you on the confidence part. Yet it could also mean that people who are unattractive might have given up and think that it is not worth it, as a result they feel the need to limit others and be the bad guy (going back to the tortured quote). It might be that good looking people get treated so well, they see no need to pick a fight, unnecessarily start a feud, or do any of that because their lives are good as is. Unattractive people might feel the need to do all that simply because their own lives they feel may not have meaning.

Education, intelligence, and all that comes into play as well. Someone who is average looking but highly educated and on their way to being successful won't show a negative attitude and try to bring others down because it reflects on them in a bad way and their reputation.
 
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#10 ·
I think the correlation is more with how the person is treated, in which he/she reflects that back to others. If one person is ridiculed most of the time, then that person will likely be rude, cynical, and suspicious about anyone they meet. If someone is treated like royalty, they will be instilled with a sense of entitlement and will likely make demands rather than asking favors. Being treated fairly is the far better option in my opinion, as you are experienced with both sides of the coin and are therefore more responsive to others than the previous two. To me, moderation and balance are key to all things in life.
 
Discussion starter · #11 ·
Coldspot said:
I think the correlation is more with how the person is treated, in which he/she reflects that back to others. If one person is ridiculed most of the time, then that person will likely be rude, cynical, and suspicious about anyone they meet. If someone is treated like royalty, they will be instilled with a sense of entitlement and will likely make demands rather than asking favors. Being treated fairly is the far better option in my opinion, as you are experienced with both sides of the coin and are therefore more responsive to others than the previous two. To me, moderation and balance are key to all things in life.
Click to expand...
A study has proven that bullies are often people who were bullied themselves.

On the other hand someone who has been surrounded with so much positivity in their life would not need to bully or do any of that. Now we are saying generally speaking here too, so a good looking person who has been treated like dirt their whole life may display the same thing I was talking about ugly people displaying.
 
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#12 ·
In my experiences (generally) attractive people are more open in meeting experiences, and won't get easily offended if you don't like them etc. But another poster quoted, and south park quoted :) , that less attractive people can develop really interesting personalities, whilst, their attractive counterparts are less likely to have that. However, this is in a general sense again, not all attractive people will be superficial, and not all ugly people will have interesting personalities. But the probability is higher for an attractive person to be more superficial and an ugly person to have a deep personality.

Also, Nick, I think that there is some truth to what you say about less attractive people doing more things for attention, it doesn't necessarily have to be negative things they develop to get that attention though.
 
Discussion starter · #13 ·
as humans, aren't we all superficial to an extent?

I have met a lot of shallow people with average looks, these days average looking women feel entitled to a brad pitt. Don't believe me? Look at online dating.
 
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#15 ·
I think that many people put attractive people on a pedestal, and that can have two very different effects: the person becomes very narcissistic and thinks they are above other people, or they decide to spread the warmth and be very kind to everyone. I think that nice attractive people tend to be nice, because they're given the opportunity and the support. Mean attractive people are still mean. The issue is that nice unattractive people are often prejudiced against so much that it's much more difficult for them to carry that weight and then turn around and give back anyway. That's why I prefer to hang out with nice unattractive people.
 
#17 ·
i think part of it might be that being nice can really make someone a lot more attractive, and i don't just mean that you think of them differently. like, nice people will generally have friendlier expressions, and a smile always looks better than a grumpy face.
 
#18 ·
I observe pretty much everybody, and I can assure there are just as much kind "pretty" people as there are kind "notsopretty" people. Likewise, there are many arrogant "pretty" and "notsopretty" people.
 
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Discussion starter · #19 ·
this thread is approaching a "you can't generalize" type mentality, the thread alone was created for that purpose
 
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