Brutal Emotional Honesty of 6's

Sour Roses · Feb 24, 2017

One of my INFJ internet pals used this term, and I found it really interesting.

I had no way to refer to what it was, before she said to me that sixes like myself just have this brutal emotional honesty, whereas as a nine she would rather ignore such things in herself.

So... are you Brutally emotionally honest? Do you think that fits sixes in general?

I know one of the things that's frustrating for me, especially online... is that people will read my firmly presented self-revealing stories or opinions as being self-righteous sounding or like I agree with everything I've done simply because I'm talking about it.

Rather, I actually feel this driving impetus to tell the truth if it's related to what someone is talking about, to put it out there, and I don't always have an opinion on whether it's right or wrong.

I mean, I usually have a moral opinion about other things... but when I feel that "tell the truth" urge, it's like I'm just waiting to see what other people think of it. To expose it to the light.
And I can then readily accept what they think of it, UNLESS they are judging the fact that I put it out there in the first place or the way in which I did it (ahhh, Fe, you're such a hot mess).

So I know this last paragraph is actually a conglomeration of Fe and sixness... if it's in the way of your answer, just scroll up to where I asked the questions and answer those for me, pretty please

Stellafera · Feb 26, 2017

100% relate. People tend to percieve me as more anxious than I actually am because I'm willing to share these things and because my inner monologue sounds worried.

Other Person: "So... Choice 1 or Choice 2?"

Me: "Ok, I think Choice 1 is a good decision because X, Y, Z, W, I also accounted for contingency A and B but I think it'll work."

Other Person: "Woah calm down man you didn't need to worry about this so much"

Me: "are you kidding, that right there was the equivalent of me mentally sitting on the beach sipping margaritas"

I've also been told, however, that my genuineness and vulnerability is refreshing and I come across as very trustworthy for it, so it's been kind of a win overall. I might start writing some of the inner monologue down so I don't bother people with it. Half the time I don't even want their input, I just want them to agree with me and make me feel comfortable with my choices.

septic tank · Feb 26, 2017

I can relate to this. I tend to not hide away from emotional problems; instead, I analyze and tackle them head on. People see me as a serious person sometimes because of how I can deeply analyze these things like what @Stellafera said. (Moody too.)

But I don't have a need to share stories about myself, and I don't necessarily believe that I know the truth either. I just know what happened to me. When I share stories, I share them because I hope my experiences might help someone else come up with their own conclusion to a situation.

Paradigm · Feb 26, 2017

Stellafera said:
100% relate. People tend to percieve me as more anxious than I actually am because I'm willing to share these things and because my inner monologue sounds worried.

I can relate to being "brutally emotionally honest" but not with inadvertently sounding anxious. I keep stuff like that close to my chest and practiced my deadpan :| face a lot, growing up. It is really an urge to tell the truth, though I imagine for me it's emphasized by my "4w5" wanting to be accepted.

My friends often see me as being "negative," when I go into "it could work but X." This could be nurture: my mom is a 6w5 and I most likely picked up on her w5..ishness. I think I'm being practical or constructive and I get accused of being negative. It's a bit frustrating.

JennyJukes · Feb 28, 2017

oh yeah definitely. i wear my heart on my sleeve. i'm not embarrassed to have emotions or to express them. it lets me connect with people. i don't like how sometimes i have to prod and prod people about their emotions because i like to know where i stand. i don't like to play games when it comes to emotions. i don't like waiting weeks/months to find out someone's feelings. like if i've hurt someone, i want to know, y'know? i don't want to find 3 months down the line that they aren't talking to me because i made a comment they were uncomfortable with. i need that kind of closure and i need it *now*.

similarly to what someone else said, sometimes i can be so emotionally honest that people become concerned for me LOL i can say things with such detachment (like, i can acknowledge my emotions in an objective way) that people think it means i'm ready to off myself. like "oh yeah that's because i have low self esteem and my dad hates me", people find it scary that i can talk so openly about things that they think should be "private". i'm not gonna spontaneously combust because i felt an emotion. and i'm not gonna have a breakdown either if i acknowledge it.

but i'm pretty happy with the way i am in this regard. i like that i'm able to open up so easily like this. i think it's a strength not a weakness. and as previously mentioned, people see me as trustworthy and idk, it just makes me feel more human.

charlie.elliot · Mar 29, 2017

Yeah, I've always thought this about Sixes. They definitely tend to vocalize uncomfortable truths that the rest of us would rather just keep to ourselves. You can see why underlying fear would cause that-- if you're in a survival / fear /acute panic situation, you're probably more likely to want to face the truth, however difficult.

I think Sixes are the type that are exposed to brutal reality, and don't have the defense mechanisms/ blocking mechanisms that the other types have (in one way or another) against harsh reality. That's why they're afraid and anxious so much. If any Sixes are wondering, why are other people not as anxious as I am? the answer is, because other people don't think about all the terrible things you probably think about. We have ways of ignoring it, or we're preoccupied with some other ego-related thing that distracts us from it.

One time I remember hearing that people with depression have a more realistic view of the world.. as if they're missing some kind of optimistic/ rosy distortion that the rest of us have. Same idea.

One time I made a thread trying to make the case that type 6 was actually the fundamental Enneatype that underlies any other type, rather than type 9. A lot of Enneagram authors will argue that inertia underlies any other psychic structure, but personally I think fear is actually the basic underlier. None of us would be here if it weren't for our inherent fear of death.
But that's kind of getting off topic, sorry!

Vive · Mar 29, 2017

Doesn't this tie into E6's distortion a bit?
I mean we analyze things, sometimes to death, but I wouldn't know if we could the conclusion we pull out of that analysis could be labeled as 'brutally emotionally honest'. While we are busy analyzing we might be ignoring other important things. Sometimes we deflect critique that we might consider accurate at first. Are we then really being honest with ourselves, and if the answer to that is yes, then are we being more honest to ourselves than other types? I don't think so, different distortion, different methods of deflection when it comes to things that threaten your self-image.

Brutal Emotional Honesty of 6's

Sour Roses

Stellafera

septic tank

Paradigm

JennyJukes

charlie.elliot

Vive

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