My temper: Actually really bad as a kid, though I'm pretty stoic now. I don't like losing control like that, and I don't like the idea of causing damage to a relationship that's important to me because of something silly I said in the heat of the moment. When it comes out (it does), it's usually with my family. My Mom is a very unhealthy ESFJ and one of the only people in the world who can push me into a screaming rage. That temper came out with my ex a few times. Most people say I'm very, very calm, but the truth is that I just try not to surround myself with people who push my buttons. My friends and I never fight, so of course they've never seen that side of me, and would probably describe me as affable at all times. Usually if someone is behaving obnoxiously enough to push my buttons I realize I'm not compatible with them and just remove them from my life, or limit their interaction with me to something more tolerable.
I have, however, snapped with strangers who've crossed certain moral boundaries. I was visiting my little sis at school and almost got into a fistfight with a guy because he and his stupid frat bro loser friend were walking behind us and one of them used a racial slur. You better believe I turned on that guy and got in his face. It surprises me and others when that happens because it's SO out of character for me, and I'll get so enraged I'll take on anyone no matter what size. My sis looked shocked, like: "What, WHO is this person I've known my whole life?" I stand up for the defenseless, that sort of thing. I called kids out in a grocery store for making fun of a disabled person. And I wasn't nice about it. AT ALL.
If anyone really hurt a loved one I would probably hold a very scary, very long, very unhealthy INFJ grudge/vendetta. I do think I'm capable of vengeance like that. If people hurt me, I tend not to be so scary... I'll probably just doorslam or whatever. Very few people have intentionally hurt me... usually when people are behaving badly they're just a little crazy or have a whole lot of emotional pain or damage, so I tend to kinda "get" that about people and not pick a battle there, although I may end up feeling something akin to contempt or, possibly worse, pure pity for that person. In the romantic context, those emotions can be helpful because they help me move on. However, as I get older I'm trying to extend more olive branches, more love. I think it's working. I don't really feel bitter about much anymore, but I'm reluctant to give second chances until a long period of time has gone by or someone really proves trustworthiness.
I kinda wonder what I would do if someone intentionally hurt me (rape, sexual assault, other assault). I would like to believe of myself that I would be vengeful. I give most people a certain amount of buffer space, but I'm attracted to the idea of poetic justice for the truly evil.
I used to lie in bed and have impersonal revenge fantasies. Like, what if I were a resistance fighter in WWII and I could kill Nazis? How would I do it? That kind of thing...
Impulse-Control: Eh, I'm pretty measured. Or not? I think I like to think of myself that way, but upon thinking, I have had some moments (mostly involving shoes, dresses, or last minute trips to Paris) that come to mind, but I don't overspend for my income and I live well below my means so I can do things like that without it being irresponsible. I have mild ADD too, and I can be a "high stimulation seeker." It's ALWAYS been really tough for me to sit at home and do nothing, which is weird for an introvert. I'd rather be "alone in public" - coffee shop, restaurant, bars, taking a wander around the city... When I was talking to my parents about my childhood when I suspected I might have ADD, they mentioned that to me. For such an introspective, introverted kid I needed almost constant stimulation.
I find I manage stress in more or less healthy ways, but I get obsessive about it. I started seriously working out again in January, but I don't do "half-way" anything. I can be a relentless perfectionist about diet, exercise, etc. I'm not a "45 minutes on the elliptical" kinda girl. I'm more like, "Ok, today let's put together this insane circuit and deadlift as much weight as I possibly can, and do Tabata circuits until I want to puke." I just started CrossFit and that kind of intensity REALLY appeals to me. I sense this becoming a new obsession/addiction. I find I need that kind of intense energy outlet to keep my scattershot brain and emotions even remotely sane. All of this could be categorized either as AMAZING impulse control or total lack thereof. Take your pick. I haven't figured it out myself.
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