I wanna ask INFPs.... do you guys really like ISFJs? Because I noticed that my INFP friend sticks closely to my ISFJ friend almost like a chick to a mother hen, and really listens to her.
Any idea why?
Any idea why?
00Hikaru00
INFP and ISFJ
I have the opposite experience. I tend to be the dominant personality when I interact with an ISFJ.
I can't really say much with such few details, but my guess is simply that the INFP feels comfortable with her. For an INFP that often means they feel understood and that tends to make you give more weight to someone's input (since they are a rare person who "gets" you). Some INFPs can struggle with social situations and perhaps attaching themselves to someone who navigates them well eases anxiety there.
I wouldnt say thats a typical dynamic with an INFP and ISFJ, but it's possible with anyone.
My experience with ISFJs is they sort of admire me for being a strong willed individual, but they don't particularly enjoy me or understand me very well. They can make a lot of negative assumptions about me and sometimes find my individuality threatening or interpret it as rebellious. I do frequently find they are intelligent and thoughtful and have good people instincts in social situations. We can even share some interests but just approach them so differently that they might as well be different.
I can't really say much with such few details, but my guess is simply that the INFP feels comfortable with her. For an INFP that often means they feel understood and that tends to make you give more weight to someone's input (since they are a rare person who "gets" you). Some INFPs can struggle with social situations and perhaps attaching themselves to someone who navigates them well eases anxiety there.
I wouldnt say thats a typical dynamic with an INFP and ISFJ, but it's possible with anyone.
My experience with ISFJs is they sort of admire me for being a strong willed individual, but they don't particularly enjoy me or understand me very well. They can make a lot of negative assumptions about me and sometimes find my individuality threatening or interpret it as rebellious. I do frequently find they are intelligent and thoughtful and have good people instincts in social situations. We can even share some interests but just approach them so differently that they might as well be different.
ISFJ's I find have very steady characters, very reliable, have their shit together sort of people. I find this very reassuring especially since I can be very chaotic or indecisive. My ISFJ is my role model.
I'm not sure bout ISFJs, but i am close to my ESFJs friends, which is suprising? They're the popular girs, and i'm... that girl haha. Maybe because they like to talk and i like to listen. They are warm and they make me feel loved. They take care of me like a mother hen takes care of her baby chicks [emoji23]
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Hmm maybe it is just a certain loyalty to the friendship or trust in the ISFJ to always be honest with them. Have they been friends for a long time?
I haven't had the experience of clicking really well with an ISFJ. I agree with the posts above! I am the extrovert sometimes with ISFJs; though I admire their personalities and try to understand them better, I can feel that we are clearly very different people in a way that sometimes doesn't sync well (not in a bad way, just in a maybe we'd both wanna hang with other people type of way.)
I also agree with the above post about ESFJs, though they are different from me, I really click well with them.
I haven't had the experience of clicking really well with an ISFJ. I agree with the posts above! I am the extrovert sometimes with ISFJs; though I admire their personalities and try to understand them better, I can feel that we are clearly very different people in a way that sometimes doesn't sync well (not in a bad way, just in a maybe we'd both wanna hang with other people type of way.)
I also agree with the above post about ESFJs, though they are different from me, I really click well with them.
Because ISFJ can be understanding, comforting, sensitive (like INFP), easy to talk to and good at problem solving, which is very useful for us.
ISFJs can love the INFPs humor, and love how the INFP is all over the place in an cute "rambunctious child" kind of way. This is possibly due to them having inferior Ne and seeing it playfully manifest in the INFP. I know with my ISFJ friend she's always laughing and impressed when I say something out of the box. And she is more stable and more grounded than me. For the ISFJ I'd imagine it's like they get to observe this playful creature that isn't like what they are used to, and the INFP gets to feel the appreciation of their weird selves and gets to rely on the stability on the ISFJ. And the age between them might perpetuate the mother hen/baby chick dynamic.
In socionics this relationship is one of Benefit, where the INFP is the Benefactor and the ISFJ is the Benefactee, because the INFPs creative function (Ne) is the ISFJs inferior function. We help them see outside the box, and they enjoy that., ....in small doses, ....on subjects that interest them lol.
In socionics this relationship is one of Benefit, where the INFP is the Benefactor and the ISFJ is the Benefactee, because the INFPs creative function (Ne) is the ISFJs inferior function. We help them see outside the box, and they enjoy that., ....in small doses, ....on subjects that interest them lol.
I do not really connect with ISFJs. I don't mind them, but sometimes conversation is difficult. I think they are generally nice. I respect their sincerity, concreteness and nurse-like abilities. In my experience, I find that they usually gravitate towards ESFs, so this usually deters me from investing or trying to establish any kind of relationship. It seems they find more ground and understanding with ESFs and ISFs, so I don't try to mesh usually unless they specifically pursue me.
I have had so many friendships that have burned brightly but then faded quickly, or that started out sweet but became sour when I realized that these friends weren't reciprocating the depth of caring or loyalty that I offered. However, throughout the years, I've had a few friends who stuck to me like burrs and never let go. As an adult, I realize that their dedication is admirable, and their loyalty and depth of caring is on par with mine. Well guess what, each of these 3 friendships that are still going strong (having survived many years: 18yrs, 12yrs and 8yrs now!!) all 3 of them are ISFJ. I find them to be reliable, caring and loyal. They find that I have helped open their minds, helped them to recognize possibilities and think more deeply about who they are and what they're looking for. I wonder sometimes if they think I'm just a quirkier, deeper and more childlike version of an ISFJ, haha, which can sometimes overwhelm me because I wouldn't be able to live up to that and I wonder if they knew everything beneath my surface if they'd still admire me and my more delicate outer demeanor. But we definitely meet when it comes to loyalty and depth of caring. I am incredibly grateful for their more steady flames. Maybe those friendships aren't as intense as I sometimes crave, but I'm learning to admire that these ISFJ women would never just let our friendships fade or dissipate. I got carried away with what could easily have been summed up with yes: I appreciate my friendships with ISFJ.
Oddly, in my situation, it was my ISFJ friends that stuck closely to me and our friendships grew as a result of their dedication.
My ex was an ISFJ and yeah we can get along quiet well. He was reliable, supportive and helped me a lot. When I had a problem he really tried to understand me. These are things that a lot of INFPs need, especially unstable ones. The only negative things about our relationship were, that he couldn't follow a lot of what I was saying, or I couldn't talk with him a lot about deeper thaughts I had.
Both can have a wonderfull bond, but I've never had this kind of relationship with him where I followed everything he said or put him above myself.
Maybe your friend likes the stability and security she has with her ISFJ friend and she's afraid to lose her if she doesn't listen to her?
Both can have a wonderfull bond, but I've never had this kind of relationship with him where I followed everything he said or put him above myself.
Maybe your friend likes the stability and security she has with her ISFJ friend and she's afraid to lose her if she doesn't listen to her?
'Ex', and first and only girlfriend, is an ISFJ. Surprisingly for a girl, she was quite easy to understand and never played any silly games, which is perhaps why I liked her. She also seemed to be long-suffering, which is something that my SO must be, as ingrained within me is an eternal depressive state, a state that I would choose out of will, though I wouldn't want to subject anyone to that unless they are very willing. Would always avoid any 'philosophical conversation' as she called it (very frustrating as I had begged for even only one conversation of the sort, but I never received), never spoke of her feelings either, they were all bottled up within. Helpful, submissive, organized, unargumentative. It was very fun to torment her all of the time, she specifically made that even more worth doing. Now, unfortunately, she hates me, she will not even speak a word to me, she will not even look at me if she can help it.
With all of that, I'd say that she is probably the only 'close' friend that I have ever had, whatever that infers.
With all of that, I'd say that she is probably the only 'close' friend that I have ever had, whatever that infers.
I respect isfj's a lot. I don't have any as close friends, but my mother is one and so is my cousin and I love them dearly. My mother can sometimes be very emotionally manipulative, self-victimizing, and passive aggressive, and these behaviors drive me up the freaking wall. But she's also very loving and supportive. And my cousin is one of the most genuine, decent human beings I know. He would never hesitate to help a person, but he still has a lot of common/street sense. I feel like isfj's actualize their idealism into reality very effectively.
Well, my husband is an ISFJ and I love how he is a combination of steady-reliable-practical and also sincere-private-sensitive. He's very warm and caring but also independent and responsible. He's a good role model for me because he helps me learn how to be "grown up" without being overwhelmed or miserable. In turn I try to be a good playmate and helpmate for him, which seems to come quite naturally.
ISFJs are very supportive and stable in my eyes, and beyond the times when we are laughing together or being completely ridiculous, they are very comforting, and I feel at home with them.
My wife of 11 years is an ISFJ, and we have a great marriage. She keeps me grounded, and I help her step out of her comfort zone when necessary. Open communication is sometimes a challenge when two introverts couple up, but we make it work. I've never trusted someone so much or felt so loved.
I appreciate my ISFJ friend because she remembers to invite me to things! Her boyfriend is my ENTP friend, and he's a bit more scattered and casual about getting people together, but my ISFJ friend is able to organize it all and actually make sure that people are there to hang out with!:tongue:
As for the mother and chick thing, neither of us are mother or chick. We help each other the same amount, and we're independent of each other. If she ever needs help, I can put pieces together in a way that is more her style than her boyfriend can! Of the Si information I catch, my Ne is more accessible than hers to assemble the pieces into a creative action. And when I need help, I try not to ask too terribly often because I don't want her feel like I just talk to her when I need her!
ISFJs are friendly, and they are good company because they tolerate you with a smile!
As for the mother and chick thing, neither of us are mother or chick. We help each other the same amount, and we're independent of each other. If she ever needs help, I can put pieces together in a way that is more her style than her boyfriend can! Of the Si information I catch, my Ne is more accessible than hers to assemble the pieces into a creative action. And when I need help, I try not to ask too terribly often because I don't want her feel like I just talk to her when I need her!
ISFJs are friendly, and they are good company because they tolerate you with a smile!
No idea why, I can't stand ISFJs.
I can see certain good traits in them, everybody has good traits that one can appreciate, but overall I stay away if possible. I have 2 in my life (1 being my father and 1 being a family friend) and I have to tolerate them because.. you know... they're there. But we can't stand each other, it's mutual.
Of course other INFPs will have a different experience for all I know, but I've met a handful of ISFJs in my lifetime and the only ones I tolerate are out of obligation because family, u know.
I can see certain good traits in them, everybody has good traits that one can appreciate, but overall I stay away if possible. I have 2 in my life (1 being my father and 1 being a family friend) and I have to tolerate them because.. you know... they're there. But we can't stand each other, it's mutual.
Of course other INFPs will have a different experience for all I know, but I've met a handful of ISFJs in my lifetime and the only ones I tolerate are out of obligation because family, u know.
ISFJs dislike me when I am being quintessential me. I find them humorous but I usually can't get away with shaking them up too much. Easy to talk to so long as I stay on topics they prefer. Only know 3 confirmed ISFJs, all ESL so that may factor in too.
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