Type 6 in permanent Disintegration?

cudibloop · Jun 3, 2013

I honestly don't know what I'm like when I'm completely healthy and secure in myself. Most of the time I act like a 3; I'm image-conscious, seek to impress, try to hide any semblance of imperfection from people (I barely post on my social networks unless I know it's somethig that will contribute to the aloof mysterious vibe I go for). Its become such a huge part of who I am, I can't picture myself in any other way (ive been in "special snowflake" mode since 8th grade). Yet when I'm in a complete state of bliss I'm not like this, I let go.

Normally I try to keep a sense of distance from my friends or acquantices, sort of like "I'll hang out with you, but I'm not one of the guys". I usually dont stick around for too long if i feel bored or if i feel like im not gaining anything from the interaction. However, the ironic thing is, I keep coming back to them, regardless of how I feel. It's hard for me to just say "hey, I'm not gaining anything from these people, so I'll just drop them", even if I'm bored with them. And if I do drop a group of friends or acquantices, it's usually after lengthy consideration and I have to know i have someone or another group to fall back on. Having a clean slate socially scares me (yearning for security), whereas I feel like a core 3 would just see it as motivation to get better friends.

Id say when I'm happy, I'm generally more appreciative, selfless and receptive of the people I interact with everyday and see them as equals, but how do I know whether this is me being my healthy core-6 self, or just my core 3 integrating to 6? Am i a core 3, or an extremely disintegrated 6? How do you distinguish between healthy core behavior and positive integration into another type?

if it means anything, when I feel relatively "okay" but not amazing, I still have a type 3w4 twinge to my behavior. I've tested as a 6w7 the most, but based on my questionnaires most people here say I'm 3w4.

cudibloop · Jun 3, 2013

On an added note, when I feel wronged or hated by others, my reaction is to fantasize about being succesful and gain their admiration. I do however, have a legitimate aspiration to become a succesful film director, when im both healthy or unhealthy, and I can never picture myself leading an average life.

Again, is this enneagram 6 heavily disintergrated into 3, or an unhealthy 3?

LibertyPrime · Jun 3, 2013

6 vs 3: Threes think it is their destiny to become someone outstanding whereas sixes aren't as naturally confident in their abilities. Threes keep their eye on the ball while sixes are prone to getting stuck in contingency planning.

Type Six-Type Three

These types are not often mistyped, but do have some similarities. Both can be very focused on work and performance, but can play very different roles in the workplace. Threes see themselves as soloists: they cooperate with others, but want to excel, to be the best at what they do. They need recognition and acknowledgment for their accomplishments, and as long as those are forthcoming, can be tireless workers. Sixes are hard workers, too, but unless they are moving to Three in stress, tend to feel awkward about taking the spotlight. ("Everyone takes pot shots at the guy out front.") Sixes work hard to ingratiate themselves with their superiors, to build up security, and because they want to convince others of their dependability. Threes tend to be smooth and composed: Sixes tend to be more nervous and awkward, although sometimes endearingly so.
Another common source of mistyping here comes from the sexual instinctual variant of type Six (see PT, 426-430). In short, some Sixes focus on cultivating personal magnetism and attractiveness like Threes, but their insecurities about their desirability matters is far more visible. Further, Threes tend to project a cool, emotional reserve, while Sixes project more volatile and intense feelings. Compare Threes Tom Cruise and Whitney Houston with Sixes Tom Hanks and Bonnie Raitt.

Look at your core motivation and at how you distort your worldview. Is it that of a 6 (safety, security, certainty) or that of a 3:

Three -- The Achiever
The world likes winners. My worth depends on what I do.

Motivation:
Toward: Being and appearing successful. Working hard. Leading. Winning.
Away from: Failure.
Focus of attention: Tasks, goals, recognition.

SharkT00th · Jun 4, 2013

I would say that you are a type 3 from what you wrote above than a type 6, the story you have crafted doesn't strike 6ish at all, it's honestly closer to a type 4 than anything.

noaydi · Jun 4, 2013

Ive the exact same stuff of the OP, but I think that you desintegrate to 3 when you feel the need of mindlessy defending your image (and often failing miserably). 6 are said to be image conscious, so it's probably okay to feel like you feel.

Sixty Nein · Jun 4, 2013

I don't think that permanent disintegration is possible. It's like literally being under constant stress, all the time. Besides even when you are disintegrating, you still be the same type and have the same motivations.

mushr00m · Jun 4, 2013

cudibloop said:
On an added note, when I feel wronged or hated by others, my reaction is to fantasize about being succesful and gain their admiration. I do however, have a legitimate aspiration to become a succesful film director, when im both healthy or unhealthy, and I can never picture myself leading an average life.

Again, is this enneagram 6 heavily disintergrated into 3, or an unhealthy 3?

That sounds like a 3w4 who is using 6 mechanisms, seeking support of others in the form of admiration. Personally I think 6 connection point usage can be used both positively and negatively, that goes for all types obviously.

white-knuckle · Jun 4, 2013

Maybe look into your instinctual variants as well. Learning I was SX/SP was helpful. It helped me see more of my motivations for things and how to enhance my biases and how to improve my lesser tendencies.

I worry about my confidence with people but it's not because I want to impress them its because I don't want them affecting my life negatively. I don't like drawing attention to myself. I like to find confidence within myself. I don't see the point in building an image. I want to build within myself, at my foundation and depths, and I don't care as much about an image.

I know another 3 who does this. Who has to post stuff about her life. It's like she needs approval about her family on facebook. She needs attention for it too. She would go as far as not sleeping with her spouse or significant other so she can take a shower before bed and have clean sheets. Also she seems opinionless because of how much approval she seeks. Also because she wouldn't want anyone to think she does anything negative or of bad taste. She is like OCD for approval from other people.

I want to find strength but I like to gut it out more on my own. I do stuff because I love it. Sure I work hard at stuff but I make sure I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I love learning and it's because it's fun. I don't mind saying what I'm bad at either. It's important for me to express myself. Even if I'm not in the best temperament. I know those close to me can count on me letting the shit hit the fan. I'd like nothing less for everything to come to the surface and I feel like a 3 is opposite in that. I think it's easy for a 3 to bury themselves behind the image they are trying to produce. Which is why I try to relax, smoke blunts, take long 2 hour walks on a week night, and not care if things are a little sloppy sometimes. I do like for things to be functional, it keeps me moving forward, but a wrinkle on my sheet isn't going to kill me.

Type 6 in permanent Disintegration?

cudibloop

cudibloop

LibertyPrime

SharkT00th

noaydi

Sixty Nein

mushr00m

white-knuckle

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