I've never fit in, even back in kindergarten I was different from everyone. I noticed throughout my school years that people would sometimes just hate me for no reason. I was a nerd (and still am) in public school and I had strange friends and strange interests. People would sometimes glare at me with nasty looks when I would walk by them and people would move away from me and whisper to their friends about me. People would sit down and have conversations about me while I was working away on something thinking I couldn't hear. In high school it just got worse. I am judged for absolutely everything I do, and people are frequently making remarks about how awkward I am, what I'm doing wrong, how weird I am. In class I heard a guy say "Like I actually hope she kills herself, she's just so weird." I hadn't even ever said a word to him >.< I am kind of afraid to go outside because every time I pass people on my bike that I know they point at me and yell nasty things at me. I never did anything to any of these people. I have never had any desire to fit in with the popular crowd. I found the "weird," ones in school (both public and secondary) are more accepting, laid back and 100x more fun to be around, but I have just have never understood why people hate me and sometimes say heinous things when I haven't done anything wrong to them. Is it just that I'm unlikable or what? Everywhere I go I seem to attract unwanted negative attention..
Why have so many people hated me for no reason?
Pixzelina
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I've never fit in, even back in kindergarten I was different from everyone. I noticed throughout my school years that people would sometimes just hate me for no reason. I was a nerd (and still am) in public school and I had strange friends and strange interests. People would sometimes glare at me with nasty looks when I would walk by them and people would move away from me and whisper to their friends about me. People would sit down and have conversations about me while I was working away on something thinking I couldn't hear. In high school it just got worse. I am judged for absolutely everything I do, and people are frequently making remarks about how awkward I am, what I'm doing wrong, how weird I am. In class I heard a guy say "Like I actually hope she kills herself, she's just so weird." I hadn't even ever said a word to him >.< I am kind of afraid to go outside because every time I pass people on my bike that I know they point at me and yell nasty things at me. I never did anything to any of these people. I have never had any desire to fit in with the popular crowd. I found the "weird," ones in school (both public and secondary) are more accepting, laid back and 100x more fun to be around, but I have just have never understood why people hate me and sometimes say heinous things when I haven't done anything wrong to them. Is it just that I'm unlikable or what? Everywhere I go I seem to attract unwanted negative attention..
People tend to fear what they dont understand... and instead of showing that they are afraid, people often mask it with dislike/hate. Herd mentality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You are not unlikable, you are different and different is always better!
You are not unlikable, you are different and different is always better!
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Stay as you are because you're doing fine and let the others go eat some dicks.
What's happening is that they expect you to behave, act, dress, talk and so on like all the other bimbos they're used to see in school. They want tits and sex and the girls just want groupies to trash talk others and dress like sluts while comparing the latest dildo they bought or guy they fucked.
They don't like you because you don't fit into their molds and you should never change yourself for the sake of others. "Nerds" have always been a target for such people and will continue to be unfortunately. Also, start getting distanced as I believe you're getting paranoid in a degree and that's not healthy.
Just carry on with life and once you're out of circle of idiots that populate schools and college, you'll be fine, don't worry.
The problem here is not you... it's them and their conceited ideas. You're better off ignoring them than trying to be accepted by them.
Find people that you get along with and that thinks similar to you and forget about "studs and sluts".
What's happening is that they expect you to behave, act, dress, talk and so on like all the other bimbos they're used to see in school. They want tits and sex and the girls just want groupies to trash talk others and dress like sluts while comparing the latest dildo they bought or guy they fucked.
They don't like you because you don't fit into their molds and you should never change yourself for the sake of others. "Nerds" have always been a target for such people and will continue to be unfortunately. Also, start getting distanced as I believe you're getting paranoid in a degree and that's not healthy.
Just carry on with life and once you're out of circle of idiots that populate schools and college, you'll be fine, don't worry.
The problem here is not you... it's them and their conceited ideas. You're better off ignoring them than trying to be accepted by them.
Find people that you get along with and that thinks similar to you and forget about "studs and sluts".
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@kashiee322
I knew the kind of 'disdain' you describe, sadly it did not cease until I left the local area and met new people at a University far away (260 miles away; quite far for a small country like the UK)... all I really say to you is that it helps to look towards the future past the here and now, realising that sensitivity and personal integrity is not something everyone develops, so take pride in letting Sheep be immature, knowing you are not alone on here at least. *small kiss and a truly caring hug of authenticity*
In my case I spent nearly 9 years too long around such toxic people but soon developed into my true self when given the chance to just be me as you will too in time. Remember one thing, 'Those that seek to go against perceived norms will always risk ridicule, however these are the types of people that might just outshine those before them, realising in the process that no one can define or bully us unless we let emotionally them'.
I knew the kind of 'disdain' you describe, sadly it did not cease until I left the local area and met new people at a University far away (260 miles away; quite far for a small country like the UK)... all I really say to you is that it helps to look towards the future past the here and now, realising that sensitivity and personal integrity is not something everyone develops, so take pride in letting Sheep be immature, knowing you are not alone on here at least. *small kiss and a truly caring hug of authenticity*
In my case I spent nearly 9 years too long around such toxic people but soon developed into my true self when given the chance to just be me as you will too in time. Remember one thing, 'Those that seek to go against perceived norms will always risk ridicule, however these are the types of people that might just outshine those before them, realising in the process that no one can define or bully us unless we let emotionally them'.
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Do you live in the bible belt or a small town?
And weird is relative. Just because someone doesn't understand you doesn't mean your weird. I mean, as long as your not hurting anybody/thing you should be fine.
Ignore em. Fuck em. If they can't accept you don't waste your time of effort on that shit. I know its hard, because your the one experiencing it and I'm not. But one day youll be able to move out, and make your own way. I'm assuming your a teenager, but when you graduate (i remember from former posts you tend to kick ass in the educational field) and go to whatever college or whatever you want, and you pick courses you like, youll meet like-minded people and youll realize you aren't alone.
5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better | Cracked.com
And weird is relative. Just because someone doesn't understand you doesn't mean your weird. I mean, as long as your not hurting anybody/thing you should be fine.
Ignore em. Fuck em. If they can't accept you don't waste your time of effort on that shit. I know its hard, because your the one experiencing it and I'm not. But one day youll be able to move out, and make your own way. I'm assuming your a teenager, but when you graduate (i remember from former posts you tend to kick ass in the educational field) and go to whatever college or whatever you want, and you pick courses you like, youll meet like-minded people and youll realize you aren't alone.
5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better | Cracked.com
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We live in a culture where bullying is an acceptable form of adult behavior, it even seems to be promoted as some sort of virtue in a capitalist country like the United States (you are American, right?)
This issue of childhood and teen bullying is being addressed more and more as a learned behavior from PARENTS not other children.
On the other hand, even in other societies, humans do have a tendency to have a herd mentality, and even those who feel empathy toward you or simply don't hate you may "go along with" stronger personalities or just say nothing because they are afraid of being outcast themselves if they do.
I am really sorry you're going through this and that it seems to be a constant thing for you.
Do you have friends and have you told any adults about this?
Have you always gone to the same schools? Is it always the same people?
This issue of childhood and teen bullying is being addressed more and more as a learned behavior from PARENTS not other children.
On the other hand, even in other societies, humans do have a tendency to have a herd mentality, and even those who feel empathy toward you or simply don't hate you may "go along with" stronger personalities or just say nothing because they are afraid of being outcast themselves if they do.
I am really sorry you're going through this and that it seems to be a constant thing for you.
Do you have friends and have you told any adults about this?
Have you always gone to the same schools? Is it always the same people?
Well I don't know if it's better, lol. I was just a heavy computer gaming junkie ( I quit those sorts of games (runescape, habbo, pokemon etc..) before entering high school because I was too afraid if anyone found out I played them I'd automatically be known as the loser) and I like geeky things like the hobbit and Harry Potter. I spent a lot of time searching for 4 leaf clovers, playing "germs" and truth or dare, beating trees with sticks magically hoping that it would slow the wind down, rolling bottle caps down hills, etc.. (very, very strange kid I was) It just seemed a lot more fun than sitting around and talking like everyone else did.
No. I moved schools when I was 12. Since then I haven't made any new friends. Where I lived before I got picked on but not to the extent I am now. People at the other school seemed a little more easy-going, more self-involved (as in NOT focusing on what other people are doing wrong) and less judgmental. I don't know what it is about this end of the city but here the amount of obsession on other peoples lives is crazy. I have 1 friend now but she's crazy and spontaneous and has never been one to dwell on what others think of her. (She's ESXP) She wouldn't understand, we've been friends since grade 1. My mom & dad just say: "Stop caring what others think, etc..) Which doesn't really help.
I really wish I was at the other end of the city..
the weird part is that was the richer side.. and yet people were nicer.
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I see nothing strange with any of that.
It should get much better when you get out of your primary/secondary school and enter a University, start working, etc... You may find that nobody really cares as much as you thought they did. Sometimes you need to change your perspective to see things the way they are.
I've always found that people who criticize others are generally miserable, and the punishment they have is waking up as the same person day after day.
Try to keep a good attitude. It will get better, just hang in there
:kitteh:
-ZDD
Well it seemed strange XD because only a handful of people (my friends and I) out of about 90 (in my grade at a time) kids were doing those things and the other kids would laugh at us all and call us losers. I try to change my perspective but then I hear somebody say something about me and it automatically brings me back to the ultra-paranoid place where everybody is talking about me. I'm really excited to start college next year I just hope my last year at school is better than the other 3. (Particularly this previous school year)
As everyone else has said, they likely feel threatened by your independence. Your story is all too common and I was also bullied until I hit college. It made me an even stronger person and the person I am today. I would not change my experience, looking back. Remember, it will get better.
That said, have you told your parents the type of comments you get? That "wishing you were dead" remark is totally unacceptable and your parents need to know exactly what they say and how you feel. It may help to write things down rather than talking, so that they can read what is actually going on. If you write your experiences down, they are less easy to ignore and they can be delivered in a less emotional way, which often increases the impact.
Also, one way to deal with people's prejudice is to ignore them, another is to call them out. When someone says that they wish you would die, just look them in the eyes and ask them "Why? You don't even know me." and walk off. They may not act like it, but chances are that they'll start to think and maybe even get ashamed of their stupidity (which can result in an aggressive behavior, unfortunately).
Finally, remember:
That said, have you told your parents the type of comments you get? That "wishing you were dead" remark is totally unacceptable and your parents need to know exactly what they say and how you feel. It may help to write things down rather than talking, so that they can read what is actually going on. If you write your experiences down, they are less easy to ignore and they can be delivered in a less emotional way, which often increases the impact.
Also, one way to deal with people's prejudice is to ignore them, another is to call them out. When someone says that they wish you would die, just look them in the eyes and ask them "Why? You don't even know me." and walk off. They may not act like it, but chances are that they'll start to think and maybe even get ashamed of their stupidity (which can result in an aggressive behavior, unfortunately).
Finally, remember:
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They don't understand you because you are different and they have their own issues.
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They don't understand you because you are different and they have their own issues.
I think it is quite common for pretty women to be bitched about.
I think it is quite common for pretty women to be bitched about.
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Do you have a good relationship with your parents at least?No. I moved schools when I was 12. Since then I haven't made any new friends. Where I lived before I got picked on but not to the extent I am now. People at the other school seemed a little more easy-going, more self-involved (as in NOT focusing on what other people are doing wrong) and less judgmental. I don't know what it is about this end of the city but here the amount of obsession on other peoples lives is crazy. I have 1 friend now but she's crazy and spontaneous and has never been one to dwell on what others think of her. (She's ESXP) She wouldn't understand, we've been friends since grade 1. My mom & dad just say: "Stop caring what others think, etc..) Which doesn't really help.
I really wish I was at the other end of the city..
Do you ever talk to anyone, anyone else who might seem "weird"? Maybe you could befriend that person or people.
However, if you like being alone, you like being alone. I would say you should report these people at school if they harass or threaten you.
You sound awesome. I wish I had known more people like you when I was in school, but alas, I was a badly bullied outcast, too. Haters sometimes grow out of it as they mature, but some never do. Now that I'm older, having survived that miserable ordeal, I have more freedom to choose who gets to stay in my life. There are good people out there, and plenty of weird people who are in the closet about their weirdness because they're afraid of being abused for it. I think the haters see your authenticity and creativity as a sign that you don't understand their silly social rules rather than as a sign that you are bravely ignoring those limitations. Maybe there is some fear involved, too, the way one might get jittery knees when watching someone else go bungee jumping if one is afraid of heights. They are terrified of not fitting in, and when they see someone else who is free and unburdened, someone who isn't living up to all of the patterns that allow them to feel secure, they may get angry with you because they are uncomfortable imagining that kind of personal freedom. They may feel the need to put you back in your place (as they define it), so shaming you until you conform seems to make sense. There is also the fact that challenging the popular kids is socially dangerous, so it is possible that only one or two kids, the lead bullies, made the decision to ostracize you, and the others are just playing along to keep from being similarly excluded. Most humans have a natural instinct to bond, so withholding that connection is a potent form of abuse that can be used to gain control over others.
Not at my school. >.< Everyone seems to think I'm a freak no matter what clique they're in. They call me bulimic (I lost a lot of weight, got too skinny but regained to a healthier slimmer weight (I was a little chubby before) I was kind of just a mild anorexic and they read some of my stuff on yahoo answers, and some of it was really embarrassing. So basically almost everyone knows a few of my secrets via yahoo answers. It seems too late at my school to make any new friends..
I have a good relationship with my parents but they don't understand my situation at all.. my dad was an extreme extrovert and my mom is kind of harsh and brash about it. "Stop caring what others think, you're "superficial, you're "wasting your teenage years," etc.. and she said she had social anxiety growing up too. >.<
I've never felt the need to fit in and be popular. In public school I was actually quite happy because I had a few really great friends at a time (granted a lot of my friends moved away, which sucked). I prefer a few good friends heavily over abunch of acquaintances. I feel like I'm kind of losing myself to all these relentless teasing over the years, particularly after I moved. I don't have as many interests as I used to, I can't talk to anyone, I'm obsessed with what people think of me, I'm awkward and I constantly feel empty.. and like nothing is ever going to get better. I wish I wasn't so freaking sensitive :frustrating:
I don't even understand myself, I don't want to be popular (and i mean it) but i care so much about what they think
Well I'm not really a nerd because I wasn't overly concerned with school work and such, but I was def a geek. (And still am but I hide it most of the time)
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Is there anywhere outside of school you can make friends who share your interests? Is there an extracurricular activity that is either free or that your parents would consent to finance that you could meet people outside of school who share your interests?
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