Magic Pixie Dream Girl?

ai.tran.75 · Jun 18, 2019

xwsmithx said:
Thanks for your responses. Other than the movie trope being about a girl who exists solely to make the protagonist feel good about himself, wouldn't the idea of being a dream girl be a good one? I.e., all the guys want you because you are the ideal type of girlfriend? There are any number of ways of being popular with the guys, from being beautiful to being easy, but wouldn't having a bubbly, happy personality that everyone loves be one of the better ones? And yes, I know, being popular with the guys isn't your only purpose in life. But wouldn't that help in all the OTHER areas of your life, too, like career, friends, family, etc.?

Being so NOT a bubbly, happy personality, I ask out of curiosity rather than any malign motives.

I think its flattering- I'll admit that , I don't hate the stereotype - however if it's coming from a person that I'm romantically attracted to, then not so much.
I assume everyone regardless of mbti type would want their partner or the person that they are crushing on to like them for who they truly are more so than liking them bc they fit a criteria of that person's idealization .

I wouldn't associate enfp and happy and bubbly though - I think the type is more along the line of whimsical and tends to point out the brighter things in life.

Enfj are very warm , bubbly and genuinely sweet often time have men of all type fawning over them

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Moby · Jun 18, 2019

UberY0shi said:
So it's not a part of your paradigm. It's an insecurity, that's a potential reason why it turns women off. Fuck dat shit. Be silly, own it. :laughing: No really, that's a thing. Self-amusement or whatever. You don't determine what's attractive or what's unattractive. You can only own yourself and even if you may be insecure about it, if it fits your paradigm and your frame is dominant, it won't matter how someone reacts to it. It'll be part of your charm. There was that video in the INFP threads about Charisma on Command talking about how this can be implemented.

Don't mean to make assumptions about you or whatever, I just suspected that you were turning women off as a result of breaking frame. Thought your smiley/silly behavior wasn't a part of your paradigm.

IDK, Jack Black style it or something. :laughing:

Lol, my INFJ friend sent me that video yesterday. You're right, I need to own my silly spots. I guess it happens because very few women seem to like both the silly side of myself and my more typical, assertive and less outwardly bubbly side. I'm sick of people wanting one or the other but not both. For my entire relationship my INFP ex wanted the emotional and bubbly side but NOT the assertive side she thought was cocky or a jerk.

I guess maybe at times I've almost given in that I need to be one or the other. Not both, which I really am.

INForJoking · Jun 18, 2019

Moby said:
I feel being a bubbly, happy ENFP loses interest from some girls I've met though. Many women prefer the strong, silent type of guy and that gets equated with masculinity sometimes. Being a smiley, silly, guy (which I am sometimes) is rarely considered especially masculine and dominant.

To a ( somewhat ) more ( stereotypical ) more ' masculine ' ( in some aspects ) more dominate one, it's just what the doctor ordered. My husband is the same. He's the typical nice, smiley, happily bubbling ENFP and it's just the precise mixture for someone of my temperament / personality. And I balance him and help him in many ways, too, but in many ways I think I need him more than he needed me ( the jury is still out ). I needed someone not so controlled and whimsical. He needed someone to not only love him wholeheartedly, but also challenge him intellectually and humorously. For example, this evening, he was debating me on the fact that I hold everyone up to my own standards, but also like to tell everyone how I exceeded such said standards far better than the other people. Basically, he said, I hold myself up on a pedestal. I, then, explained how often I express my enthusiasm for all his workouts and even go as far as asking exactly what he does. Always admitting I'd never be caught dead doing such things. He then tried to say that he learned try to put himself upon the highest pedestal because of my competitive nature. I rebutted, he was in fact right because his pedestal must be higher due to the fact I am much taller and that he also could use a booster seat to reach my same height.

We both cracked up laughing and such. What I'm trying to get at is, you'll meet the right person when it's the right moment. You'll find the right person when it's the right time. I never bought into MBTI stereotypes, so I didn't know it was a thing. The Gyspy loving pixie thing was something I just tried not to make eye contact at music festivals.

I will say that over time, the other persons' personality does rub off. My husband has become a bit more assertive and I've become a bit more relaxed. Took enough time, but we managed it.

Katie Tran · Jun 18, 2019

"Manic Pixie Dream Girl" is defined by google as "(especially in film) a type of female character depicted as vivacious and appealingly quirky, whose main purpose within the narrative is to inspire a greater appreciation for life in a male protagonist."

For the stereotypical ENFP female description, this definition is the perfect balance for the awkward introverted male lead portrayed in media (often time) an INxP or INxJ; sometimes ISTJ.

Unfortunately, that also reduces the ENFP female's value into that of a simple, flat manic pixie dream girl who will always brighten your life with her supposed "quirkiness" and "liveliness."
As if we simply exist for other people's deep character and improve their person without anything else to our own character.

That's all fine and dandy for media, film and fictional works. Whatever.

In real life, other female types that would probably fit the "manic pixie" role better than ENFP females are ENFJ, ESFJ and ESFP.

1) ESFP females are wild and exciting, but with a grounded practical-ness that most ENFP females don't really possess until they mature later in life.

2) ENFJ and ESFJ are warm, welcoming and consistent.

In my experience, ENFPs are one of the moodiest type. When it's low, it's very bad. But when it's high, I can see why we would be compelling to the average audience.

Perhaps when we're at our best and our Ne/Fi is fired up, our ideas and conversations are gregarious and weird which I can understand why someone would want to give us the manic pixie label.

But when we're indifferent about you or you're not of our interest otherwise, we can be truly uncaring. We can even seem "cold" or "snobby."

I've seen ENFPs who use their "magical"/"manic pixie girl" persona to obtain their own purposes and interests. I've also seen ENFPs who are authentically "magical" and lively when they're in a good mood and or passionate about something.

It all depends on the individual, but like all individuals, we're all multi-faceted creatures with both a light and dark side.

Moby · Jun 18, 2019

INForJoking said:
To a ( somewhat ) more ( stereotypical ) more ' masculine ' ( in some aspects ) more dominate one, it's just what the doctor ordered. My husband is the same. He's the typical nice, smiley, happily bubbling ENFP and it's just the precise mixture for someone of my temperament / personality. And I balance him and help him in many ways, too, but in many ways I think I need him more than he needed me ( the jury is still out ). I needed someone not so controlled and whimsical. He needed someone to not only love him wholeheartedly, but also challenge him intellectually and humorously. For example, this evening, he was debating me on the fact that I hold everyone up to my own standards, but also like to tell everyone how I exceeded such said standards far better than the other people. Basically, he said, I hold myself up on a pedestal. I, then, explained how often I express my enthusiasm for all his workouts and even go as far as asking exactly what he does. Always admitting I'd never be caught dead doing such things. He then tried to say that he learned try to put himself upon the highest pedestal because of my competitive nature. I rebutted, he was in fact right because his pedestal must be higher due to the fact I am much taller and that he also could use a booster seat to reach my same height.

We both cracked up laughing and such. What I'm trying to get at is, you'll meet the right person when it's the right moment. You'll find the right person when it's the right time. I never bought into MBTI stereotypes, so I didn't know it was a thing. The Gyspy loving pixie thing was something I just tried not to make eye contact at music festivals.

I will say that over time, the other persons' personality does rub off. My husband has become a bit more assertive and I've become a bit more relaxed. Took enough time, but we managed it.

Thank you for this, really.

ride:

Llyralen · Jun 18, 2019

xwsmithx said:
Thanks for your responses. Other than the movie trope being about a girl who exists solely to make the protagonist feel good about himself, wouldn't the idea of being a dream girl be a good one? I.e., all the guys want you because you are the ideal type of girlfriend? There are any number of ways of being popular with the guys, from being beautiful to being easy, but wouldn't having a bubbly, happy personality that everyone loves be one of the better ones? And yes, I know, being popular with the guys isn't your only purpose in life. But wouldn't that help in all the OTHER areas of your life, too, like career, friends, family, etc.?

Being so NOT a bubbly, happy personality, I ask out of curiosity rather than any malign motives.

I agree with how @ai.tran.75 put it. You don’t want your SO thinking of you as a stereotype or dating you because of one. And I want my ideas and needs taken seriously. But Even though it’s kind of weird to admit it, Usually ENFP girls have a lot of choice in their partner— but it’s also social skills, like a true understanding of people’s characters and how to relate to them and also self-awareness and self-growth (which is usually a part of our type) that makes this all possible. However, yes, not that I could get whomever I want or anything like that and there is so seductress about any of it—- it’s just good clean knowing what you like and knowing how to build a quality relationship.

Kiersey said NFs are more devoted to building quality relationships than any other type, and this is true, so I know I found someone that I could build the max quality relationship with and that definitely had to do with who he was/is.. You have to find the right person— you can maybe build 75% of it for just so long and then you really want someone who can meet you with it. I might be speaking for a subgroup of ENFP females here, maybe just sx instinct females?—but we don’t really allow the quality of the relationship to be poor and usually do what it takes to make it amazing if at all possible and if it isn’t possible— that relationship might well be on the chopping block. There is lots of skill and self-growth involved in creating quality and also in assessing that quality, but with sx first ENFPs our SO relationship will be given whatever it takes. I know I speak for me, but I see these skills in more than myself in the ENFP forum. Not sure about the sx or not— that was just my postulation.

Ele30 · Jun 22, 2019

Whippit said:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManicPixieDreamGirl

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl as a person doesn't exist on her own, she exists in the fevered mind of an introverted and withdrawn boy, maybe he's an INTJ, even. No woman is a MPDG, people exist for themselves and have complexity that such an image wouldn't be able to capture. But to that person who thinks an ENFP woman is a MPDG, he believes she represents all the expressiveness that he isn't capable of expressing outwardly, and that she is able to bring it out of him some-how. She will pull him out from himself, and make him complete.

I could see this sort of hope attaching to an ENFP easily, also ESFPs, or anybody who emulates a certain expressive whimsicality. And I can see women, ENFPs even, playing the role to further their own ends, whatever that may be.

Yeah I agree

Ele30 · Jun 22, 2019

Katie Tran said:
"Manic Pixie Dream Girl" is defined by google as "(especially in film) a type of female character depicted as vivacious and appealingly quirky, whose main purpose within the narrative is to inspire a greater appreciation for life in a male protagonist."

For the stereotypical ENFP female description, this definition is the perfect balance for the awkward introverted male lead portrayed in media (often time) an INxP or INxJ; sometimes ISTJ.

Unfortunately, that also reduces the ENFP female's value into that of a simple, flat manic pixie dream girl who will always brighten your life with her supposed "quirkiness" and "liveliness."
As if we simply exist for other people's deep character and improve their person without anything else to our own character.

That's all fine and dandy for media, film and fictional works. Whatever.

In real life, other female types that would probably fit the "manic pixie" role better than ENFP females are ENFJ, ESFJ and ESFP.

1) ESFP females are wild and exciting, but with a grounded practical-ness that most ENFP females don't really possess until they mature later in life.

2) ENFJ and ESFJ are warm, welcoming and consistent.

In my experience, ENFPs are one of the moodiest type. When it's low, it's very bad. But when it's high, I can see why we would be compelling to the average audience.

Perhaps when we're at our best and our Ne/Fi is fired up, our ideas and conversations are gregarious and weird which I can understand why someone would want to give us the manic pixie label.

But when we're indifferent about you or you're not of our interest otherwise, we can be truly uncaring. We can even seem "cold" or "snobby."

I've seen ENFPs who use their "magical"/"manic pixie girl" persona to obtain their own purposes and interests. I've also seen ENFPs who are authentically "magical" and lively when they're in a good mood and or passionate about something.

It all depends on the individual, but like all individuals, we're all multi-faceted creatures with both a light and dark side.

Thank you for saying this. I don't like the stereotype applied to me, it's so far from who I am
My mom is probably much more bubbly and smiley with people and actually happy with all people than I am, she's an ENFJ.

Belledonna · Jun 23, 2019

xwsmithx said:
For you female ENFP's, I was thinking about the stereotype of the ENFP as the rainbows and glitter and unicorn type, and suddenly linked it in my mind to the movie trope of the magic pixie dream girl. Accurate? Inaccurate? Accurate with caveats? Explain.

Edit: Manic* I only just thought of that now.

That would be more suited to ESFJs. I've found that ESFJs are much more glittering and sunshine than ENFPs. It's their dominant Fe and tert Ne. A lot of ESFJs are mistyped as ENFPs so that might happen.

IRL, I've found that, not just ENFP, but all intuitive types are not rainbows or magic pixie dream girl. Intuitives are usually colder and more distant. So no, we are not manic pixie.

I am an ENFP but I am cold, intimidating, focused and rather composed. If stereotype puts ENFP as Unicorn then I'm a grizzly bear.

Ps. Though I don't look very feminine, I am very feminine. (Trust me that I look more manly than many men)

Katie Tran · Jun 23, 2019

Belledonna said:
IRL, I've found that, not just ENFP, but all intuitive types are not rainbows or magic pixie dream girl. Intuitives are usually colder and more distant.

Yup. A lot of people are actually describing the average ESFx chick when they think of an ENFP chick.

Most people when they first meet me in real life, they would probably mistype me as a TJ.

Belledonna · Jun 23, 2019

Katie Tran said:
Yup. A lot of people are actually describing the average ESFx chick when they think of an ENFP chick.

Most people when they first meet me in real life, they would probably mistype me as a TJ.

Me too. My friend mistyped me as INTJ.

Ele30 · Jun 28, 2019

Belledonna said:
That would be more suited to ESFJs. I've found that ESFJs are much more glittering and sunshine than ENFPs. It's their dominant Fe and tert Ne. A lot of ESFJs are mistyped as ENFPs so that might happen.

IRL, I've found that, not just ENFP, but all intuitive types are not rainbows or magic pixie dream girl. Intuitives are usually colder and more distant. So no, we are not manic pixie.

I am an ENFP but I am cold, intimidating, focused and rather composed. If stereotype puts ENFP as Unicorn then I'm a grizzly bear.

Ps. Though I don't look very feminine, I am very feminine. (Trust me that I look more manly than many men)

Really what I think being an ENFP is about is what you wrote in your description "The bravest choice... is to be yourself", we embody the child within at all ages, though we could get lost at times. We always stick to our truth we will not follow a path that is not ours just because we are afraid. ENFP is a lot about courage, and to us it comes naturally, ENFPs naturally trust themselves. So I would say more than manic pixies, brave women

Whippit · Jun 28, 2019

Belledonna said:
That would be more suited to ESFJs. I've found that ESFJs are much more glittering and sunshine than ENFPs. It's their dominant Fe and tert Ne. A lot of ESFJs are mistyped as ENFPs so that might happen.

IRL, I've found that, not just ENFP, but all intuitive types are not rainbows or magic pixie dream girl. Intuitives are usually colder and more distant. So no, we are not manic pixie.

I am an ENFP but I am cold, intimidating, focused and rather composed. If stereotype puts ENFP as Unicorn then I'm a grizzly bear.

Ps. Though I don't look very feminine, I am very feminine. (Trust me that I look more manly than many men)

There's a member on another personality forum that calls ESFJs mistyped as ENFPs as "The people's ENFP", because they play to the crowd and tend to be more popular as ENFPs than actual ENFPs. As she has said (my paraphrasing) the faux-ENFPs have just the right amount of quirkiness to be adorable, and ENFP's quirkiness tends towards the socially problematic--I feel like that's a pretty good marker when differentiating a Fe-dom and a Ne-dom.

providence · Jun 29, 2019

manic rainbow pixie unicorn dream girl is 100% ENFP. case closed!

Fru2 · Jul 1, 2019

ENFP women in a nutshell:

motherofdragonslover · Jul 2, 2019

Hi.

The Manic pixie dream girl is supposed to be a female character in a movie or narriative that exists to be quirky or vivacious whose only purpose is to make the male protagonist develop a greater appreciation of life. She doesn't get any character development. The problem I have with people associating this character with ends in general this is that this only pertains to a fictional story and humans are much more complex than what is portrayed. The pixie dream girl is only an impression or perception at best that is constructed with very little information about the person in question from someone else's point of view. It's not real. Sure you could say some stereotypical enfp traits coincide with certain traits that a manic pixie dream girl but in the end of the day, we are real people. We have obstacles that we face in life, we get frustrated, we get happy and we laugh, we live. What we experience in our lives.. it's not for the development of anyone else or just a facade. It's ours. It's for our own growth as individuals. Our happiness is the goal at the end of the day, not for a male protagonist. I think that's a really big difference, we grow. These dream girl characters do not. We seek our happiness, they do not.

NIHM · Jul 2, 2019

xwsmithx said:
For you female ENFP's, I was thinking about the stereotype of the ENFP as the rainbows and glitter and unicorn type, and suddenly linked it in my mind to the movie trope of the magic pixie dream girl. Accurate? Inaccurate? Accurate with caveats? Explain.

Edit: Manic* I only just thought of that now.

I might cosplay a manic pixie dream girl. I do like rainbows and glitter but I can't do that 24/7. I might be attracted to glittery things like a moth to a flame but I also recognize that glitter is essentially the herpes of the crafting world. You'll find it everywhere and it's not a practical substance.

Though if I was going to match myself up with anything I would think mad scientist. I'm more like a friendly happier version of Sheldon. I recognize that I'm talented, creative, and bright in certain subjects but then lack in other areas. If my Ne isn't interested in it, I'm almost an imbecile in the skill or topic. Think Spencer Reid and Penelope mixed into one person from Criminal Minds.

I hope that helped. Also because of my tri enneagram type I can literally be described as sunshine walking. With my blonde hair and bubbly disposition, airhead is probably the first thing that comes to mind when people see me. Then I begin to talk and then I'm sure adjectives like weirdo, oddball, perspicacious, academic, and annoying come to play.

:exterminate:

xwsmithx said:
Thanks for your responses. Other than the movie trope being about a girl who exists solely to make the protagonist feel good about himself, wouldn't the idea of being a dream girl be a good one? I.e., all the guys want you because you are the ideal type of girlfriend? There are any number of ways of being popular with the guys, from being beautiful to being easy, but wouldn't having a bubbly, happy personality that everyone loves be one of the better ones? And yes, I know, being popular with the guys isn't your only purpose in life. But wouldn't that help in all the OTHER areas of your life, too, like career, friends, family, etc.?

Being so NOT a bubbly, happy personality, I ask out of curiosity rather than any malign motives.

That would be a nightmare. All the men wanting you? ENFPs are really not that extroverted. We only want the one we like not the whole neighborhood. Normally that's going to be an individual that we can sound ideas off and also likes us back. I've never wanted random love and attention.

Sounds more like a fantasy of a young girl in her teens who hasn't thought the theory out properly better left to peer review. I mean to each their own, YOLO but seriously I find it almost dangerous to be loved by everyone.

No, it would not help in all areas of life. Think if you were loved by everyone, you would have no peace. There would be no silence to think out equations. Not to mention I need the right person to bounce ideas off, not some twit that doesn't understand.

In fact, my bubbly personality and inability to shut up has not always landed popularity on my doorstep. I'm easy on the eyes and I'm sure that's helped in scenarios but my extreme over-zealous dominating weird brain keeps the fake ones at bay.

Again, everyone is different and I don't want to put any other personality down but in my personal opinion being loved by everyone is not a stellar outcome.

L P · Jul 2, 2019

I think type 2 and 7 fits this stereotype better

NIHM · Jul 2, 2019

Moby said:
I feel being a bubbly, happy ENFP loses interest from some girls I've met though. Many women prefer the strong, silent type of guy and that gets equated with masculinity sometimes. Being a smiley, silly, guy (which I am sometimes) is rarely considered especially masculine and dominant.

I wouldn't find that unattractive. As long as in certain areas he did show dominance then I would be fine with dating someone like that. I dated an ESFP and we're still great friends. He was not submissive in any way but fun loving and outgoing. Of course, he treated me as an equal but when it came to traditional roles in the bedroom he was masculine. I think that really helps in a relationship. Two doms dating each other or two subs dating each other is not the greatest outcome.

Magic Pixie Dream Girl?

ai.tran.75

Moby

INForJoking

Katie Tran

Moby

Llyralen

Ele30

Ele30

Belledonna

Katie Tran

Belledonna

Ele30

Whippit

providence

Fru2

motherofdragonslover

NIHM

L P

NIHM

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