How do you guys feel when someone compliments you? Can it be a bit akward sometimes? As an INFP I’m a very quiet girl. So when I first met this ENFJ we hardly ever spoke. It was a bit suprising to hear he seemed to be a little fond of me in a kind of way. He said I was a really, really smart girl,
and so quiet,so incredibly kind and humble... I was suprised, because he had never ever give any sign he thought about me this way. So I started to pay more attention, and indeed, sometimes there was something in his eyes, or in his voice when he said my name, little emotional signals. When I need help (some pracitcal questions) I turned to him. He seemed to be proud and a bit flattered I asked him. We started to talk more often, and he started to tell me how smart I was, that I had nothing to be so humble about. That it didn’t matter anything all that I was shy and quiet. I completly opened up in those years, due to him and my friends. When we had to say goodbye he smiled and touched me and said I had to send him, to let him know how I was. So I did. He always get a lot of criticism on about his work. So I send him a message how I was and what I’ve done (due to him), that he just have to keep on the good work… It was rather supportive, maybe intense ( but that’s how I am, can’t always help it), and unexpected, also genuine and uitspoken. He did answered after a long time. (He asked me to forgive him, he was very busy and he said it was nice to hear about me (cause I'm quiet) and he was happy with my mail) But, I don’t really know how he really felt about it. Later I met him on a social event, he had organised (he invited me in his answer, same day he saw I hadn’t sign the participants list.) He act very shiny and energetic. not that soft as usual and and talked so fast, I hadn’t even the time to answer. It made me feel a bit shy. He was talking with his friend at the launch, when I passed him. ‘And [my name],’ he shouted, how are you. He started to talk fluently and fast, asked me how I was, if I had a nice time, that I looked good,. When he said bye it was in such a uncaring way it almost made me mad. But then he asked if I was already leaving. And I said no, and suddenly his face turned very relieve. And then he turned a little shy and said: sorry. Because he approached me/ Talked to me. Because I’m quiet? It was strange. We didn’t talk for the rest of the evening. He ask me, brightly again, how I was two or three times when crossed him, bit worried about me also. But he touched my shoulders when I was talking with a friend and when he passed me, so don’t think he wanted to push me away or something. Later on the evening, when everybody started dancing, and I was just standing at the bar, observing the room with my eyes. He stood behind it, and when we crossed eyes I saw he seemed to be a bit nervous/uncomfortable again. I started the conversation and at the moment I went more theorethical, he became very interested, and leaned closer to lock eyes so he could listen to what I had to say. His vibes became softer/calmer, he didn’t talk that fast anymore. He told me his idea on something and but that some people wouldn’t agree with him. And when I said goodbye, a girl passed him and greated him and they had a conversation of a few seconds, -he became very nice and outgoing. But when she left, he’s vibes became softer again and he looked at me and he said something critical about her. But I just don’t know what he thought about me. He didn’t start to talk about my arguments, something he mostly always does. So I asked If he read what i’ve wrote him about one part of my message (not the arguments)and he act like he had to think. I had a few messages of you, and I answered, he said slowely, like he was remembering (But he really, really knew I had send him, cause he had already compliment me about the fact I did great). So I repeated my compliment. And he seemed to be a little touched in his eyes because it sound so selfless I guess and he told me I was underastimating myself.
But I’m still a little bit ashamed right know. I feel akward about it, it takes a lot of trust for me to share my values/thoughts/feelings. So I don’t know what I have to think about it anymore. Maybe I’m just overanalyzing, and he had just a lot of work to do…
- Would you as an ENFJ find it akward to get a message like mine? Why? How would you act toward that person if you did? Or would you be really touched? How would you act if you were? What would your answer be.Do you find it difficult to receive? Why would you not mention it at all?
-What would you think about that INFP if he/she would send you a message?
- Is “bright-star-mode” ENFJ’s general modus to most people? Is a N-conversation more difficult for you too?
- When would you feel uncomfortable around an INFP or someone? Can our quietness be intimidating in a certain way to you sometimes? Is it more difficult to intend a conversation with an INFP than the more outgoing types? Why would you feel uncomfortable towards an INFP?
I’m so scared I did something completly wrong, feel a bit ashamed and clingly right know.And I just don’t know where I stand with him anymore since I send that message. Maybe he feels akward about me… ):
- How would you act toward a person if they made you feel akward
Any thoughts of ENFJ’s about this?, about something, doesn’t matter what
-Oh and Btw, I love you guys -
and so quiet,so incredibly kind and humble... I was suprised, because he had never ever give any sign he thought about me this way. So I started to pay more attention, and indeed, sometimes there was something in his eyes, or in his voice when he said my name, little emotional signals. When I need help (some pracitcal questions) I turned to him. He seemed to be proud and a bit flattered I asked him. We started to talk more often, and he started to tell me how smart I was, that I had nothing to be so humble about. That it didn’t matter anything all that I was shy and quiet. I completly opened up in those years, due to him and my friends. When we had to say goodbye he smiled and touched me and said I had to send him, to let him know how I was. So I did. He always get a lot of criticism on about his work. So I send him a message how I was and what I’ve done (due to him), that he just have to keep on the good work… It was rather supportive, maybe intense ( but that’s how I am, can’t always help it), and unexpected, also genuine and uitspoken. He did answered after a long time. (He asked me to forgive him, he was very busy and he said it was nice to hear about me (cause I'm quiet) and he was happy with my mail) But, I don’t really know how he really felt about it. Later I met him on a social event, he had organised (he invited me in his answer, same day he saw I hadn’t sign the participants list.) He act very shiny and energetic. not that soft as usual and and talked so fast, I hadn’t even the time to answer. It made me feel a bit shy. He was talking with his friend at the launch, when I passed him. ‘And [my name],’ he shouted, how are you. He started to talk fluently and fast, asked me how I was, if I had a nice time, that I looked good,. When he said bye it was in such a uncaring way it almost made me mad. But then he asked if I was already leaving. And I said no, and suddenly his face turned very relieve. And then he turned a little shy and said: sorry. Because he approached me/ Talked to me. Because I’m quiet? It was strange. We didn’t talk for the rest of the evening. He ask me, brightly again, how I was two or three times when crossed him, bit worried about me also. But he touched my shoulders when I was talking with a friend and when he passed me, so don’t think he wanted to push me away or something. Later on the evening, when everybody started dancing, and I was just standing at the bar, observing the room with my eyes. He stood behind it, and when we crossed eyes I saw he seemed to be a bit nervous/uncomfortable again. I started the conversation and at the moment I went more theorethical, he became very interested, and leaned closer to lock eyes so he could listen to what I had to say. His vibes became softer/calmer, he didn’t talk that fast anymore. He told me his idea on something and but that some people wouldn’t agree with him. And when I said goodbye, a girl passed him and greated him and they had a conversation of a few seconds, -he became very nice and outgoing. But when she left, he’s vibes became softer again and he looked at me and he said something critical about her. But I just don’t know what he thought about me. He didn’t start to talk about my arguments, something he mostly always does. So I asked If he read what i’ve wrote him about one part of my message (not the arguments)and he act like he had to think. I had a few messages of you, and I answered, he said slowely, like he was remembering (But he really, really knew I had send him, cause he had already compliment me about the fact I did great). So I repeated my compliment. And he seemed to be a little touched in his eyes because it sound so selfless I guess and he told me I was underastimating myself.
But I’m still a little bit ashamed right know. I feel akward about it, it takes a lot of trust for me to share my values/thoughts/feelings. So I don’t know what I have to think about it anymore. Maybe I’m just overanalyzing, and he had just a lot of work to do…
- Would you as an ENFJ find it akward to get a message like mine? Why? How would you act toward that person if you did? Or would you be really touched? How would you act if you were? What would your answer be.Do you find it difficult to receive? Why would you not mention it at all?
-What would you think about that INFP if he/she would send you a message?
- Is “bright-star-mode” ENFJ’s general modus to most people? Is a N-conversation more difficult for you too?
- When would you feel uncomfortable around an INFP or someone? Can our quietness be intimidating in a certain way to you sometimes? Is it more difficult to intend a conversation with an INFP than the more outgoing types? Why would you feel uncomfortable towards an INFP?
I’m so scared I did something completly wrong, feel a bit ashamed and clingly right know.And I just don’t know where I stand with him anymore since I send that message. Maybe he feels akward about me… ):
- How would you act toward a person if they made you feel akward
Any thoughts of ENFJ’s about this?, about something, doesn’t matter what
-Oh and Btw, I love you guys
-
