Well, I have been down this path myself. I have written about my experiences in other threads, but essentially my wife since 15 yrs went through some form of mental breakdown/psychosis starting with the birth of our child (difficult concession). Took about six years to reach full breakdown at which point she had gotten an apartment behind my back. During this time I tried REAL hard to come up with solutions and such, but to no avail. It stressed me to no end. Finally my body took no more and one night I woke up in a patch of urine and feccalia and noticed that my body wouldnt obey me anymore. Mentally I was like a fast charging but old battery. I charged up fast but could not contain much energy. All energy was spent on this endeavor, to "fix" her and the relationship.
Well, finally I had to let her go to save myself and the kid. This was horribly stressing ( also having to give up on "project family"). During this time I periodically played computer games to gain energy. I t was like meditation. But when too much time had passed playing I felt sick with myself for not doing anything that could actually lead to something useful and quit it. Us ENTPs obsess at times....
I had friends calling to offer me dinner and stuff, but just after the final disaster I just wanted to "purge" myself through this; As someone stated I had to go through all possibilties and options; What happened, what could go wrong after all I ahd done and such.... Also some self doubt and introspection ; needed I reform my thinking models?
Well, it has been about a year, and I now feel rather ok again. But even less prone to trust people intimately. My friends and family also have said that I seem to feel better now. I have my son every other week too. My (INFJ) wife? Well, she broke down completely after the separation and is now so regretful that it hurts me to see her.... in spite of all she has done.
So, coping with stress. Alfreda has many good points in her post. Physical training also effects the mood positively. Take him out walking and talking (if he wants to). Let him indulge himself in any other interest that will let him focus positively. It is the negative thought-grinding that must be stopped to reverse the process. But he must want to himself, be "ready".
The thing is that we ENTPs have a healthy base optimism that will keep him safe. Sometimes you just have to push through, to fathom that the foundations you built your life upon are no more. To "lose" and cope with it. There are no winners in a separation.
I also think that most of this advice is general for many types, but an ISTJ would perhaps be more broken since the family is indistinguishable from his life mission.
This was quite a rant. Sorry for that, just willing to help, but hard to express it....
