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ENFJ - INFP: Attraction across the room.

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Discussion starter · #41 ·
J_Enfj said:
@Histoire
Thanks for sharing:)

Yup, becoz ENFJ and INFP r opposite, Its easy for ENFJ to see & feel the inner insecurity, extremely sensitiveness to outside world, inner conflicts, and vulnerability from INFP's inner worlds which infp try soo hard to hide and pretend to behave "normal" and "comfort" in crowd..... And this, trigger ENFJ the desire to protect them.

But seriously, I don't think INFP r weak ppl. They hv tons of greatness inside even themselves hvn't realized yet. And becoz of this, INFP r extremely humble ppl.

Personally, the more I know INFP, the more I love them. Like what I told my friends, INFP r deadly attractive to me and sooo easily shift my focus into them��


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Indeed. We're not weak, we're just very sensitive. :) Which is our greatest gift also. :) Do you guys want to help and protect us because our insecurities seem to be very alike to yours but just in the other way around?
-And t's nice to hear we attract you guys too by the way :).
 
#42 ·
Histoire said:
Indeed. We're not weak, we're just very sensitive. :) Which is our greatest gift also. :) Do you guys want to help and protect us because our insecurities seem to be very alike to yours but just in the other way around?
-And t's nice to hear we attract you guys too by the way :).
Click to expand...
Honestly, I don't think I'm insecurity, not at all. I'm very decisive and determinate person. Uncertainty is the closest emotion that I can related with inner insecurity, and it doesn't occur too often. Most most of time, I remain confident and comfort to uncertainty/unknown, like, "There r gonna be a way to solve this problem. I just hvn't found it YET." ..... And I believe that's one of the reasons why we ENFJ can interact with outside world/ppl sooo naturally and smoothly --- no need to be fear.

INFP can soo easily grab our attention is that we r soo opposite( not only different but opposite), which also triggers our(at least me) curiosity A LOT. It's very natural to make the desire to protect them and I spend a lot of time(several months) to figure out why (becoz the chemistry and intense emotion r rare and heavy for me, I'm very curious why I'm so into INFP who r opposite to me rather than other ppl who r similar with me😋).

So the answer I've explored so far is:
Regard of the gender, INFP inside r feminine-force dominated while ENFJ inside r masculine-force dominated. It's natural for masculine-force to protect feminine-force. And most most of time it happens soo habitually and subconsciously.

On the other hand, I do hv lots of other type friends and our interaction r good/great/close(depend on which one). But I never hv the desire and want to protect them( take care of them? Yes, coz it's polite and friendly manners. Protection? No need. They r good on their own😋)

Btw: ENFJ r sensitive too but in a diff way. We r sensitive to observe outside world in detail and feel other ppl's feeling and needs. But our (at least me) emotion remain stable and not being invaded/penetrated by them as what happens to INFP. (One of the reasons why INFP put up a shield to guard/protect their inner world is coz their emotions r so easily to be influenced by outside world --- even small subtle changes, like raining.... I can see & realize those changes too, but don't take them personally. That's y my emotion remain stable, security and comfort.)

On the other hand, once a person/stuff/thing trigger a difference in my emotion, s/he/it definitely deserves my attention and curiosity( but I believe it applies to every human being😄).




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Discussion starter · #43 ·
J_Enfj said:
Honestly, I don't think I'm insecurity, not at all. I'm very decisive and determinate person. Uncertainty is the closest emotion that I can related with inner insecurity, and it doesn't occur too often. Most most of time, I remain confident and comfort to uncertainty/unknown, like, "There r gonna be a way to solve this problem. I just hvn't found it YET." ..... And I believe that's one of the reasons why we ENFJ can interact with outside world/ppl sooo naturally and smoothly --- no need to be fear.

INFP can soo easily grab our attention is that we r soo opposite( not only different but opposite), which also triggers our(at least me) curiosity A LOT. It's very natural to make the desire to protect them and I spend a lot of time(several months) to figure out why (becoz the chemistry and intense emotion r rare and heavy for me, I'm very curious why I'm so into INFP who r opposite to me rather than other ppl who r similar with me��).

So the answer I've explored so far is:
Regard of the gender, INFP inside r feminine-force dominated while ENFJ inside r masculine-force dominated. It's natural for masculine-force to protect feminine-force. And most most of time it happens soo habitually and subconsciously.

On the other hand, I do hv lots of other type friends and our interaction r good/great/close(depend on which one). But I never hv the desire and want to protect them( take care of them? Yes, coz it's polite and friendly manners. Protection? No need. They r good on their own��)

Btw: ENFJ r sensitive too but in a diff way. We r sensitive to observe outside world in detail and feel other ppl's feeling and needs. But our (at least me) emotion remain stable and not being invaded/penetrated by them as what happens to INFP. (One of the reasons why INFP put up a shield to guard/protect their inner world is coz their emotions r so easily to be influenced by outside world --- even small subtle changes, like raining.... I can see & realize those changes too, but don't take them personally. That's y my emotion remain stable, security and comfort.)

On the other hand, once a person/stuff/thing trigger a difference in my emotion, s/he/it definitely deserves my attention and curiosity( but I believe it applies to every human being��).




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Interesting.
I experienced this with an ENFJ I knew but at the same time, it was also the opposite.
He didn't though I couldn't stand on my own. At the contrary, he saw me as very independent and one of the most can-handle-it-all-on-her-own- persons he ever met in he's life. And he really, really admired me for that talent.
That's a very typically INFP thing. We're strong and independent in our own way. We don't search safety by other persons. That's more an ISFJ thing. We're one of the most independent types. Speaking for myself now, but I think one of the most digusting things is depend yourself on other persons, not been able to standig on your own and needing others because a lack of own strength.
He really admired my talent of standing on my own in such a way. But at the same time, he was indeed protective and it's also true he really invest more in me for making me feel good about myself than he did to anyone else.

It's also true we're opposites: but not completely. I think we're the same.
1. F
2.N
3. S
4. T.

That's why we can easily solve each others problems. ENFJ can help INFP being more social-comfortable and INFP can learn ENFJ being less dependent. Fe = others first priority, want to fit in, feeling what others feel without seperate it form own feelings (crying because everyone's crying. Fi = Staying truth to yourself first priority, even when that implies being the outsider, being laughed at, being alone, picking up what others feels but holding being able to seperate it from our own feelings.
I think we both has strenghts the other lacks.
 
#44 ·
@Histoire

"Wanna protect some" is more like an emotional choice. U can be independent and still some ppl wanna protect u. No conflict!

The INFP lady I met has travelled lots of foreign countries by herself and she enjoys to travel alone.... But when she told me her feelings of loneliness, childhood trauma, not-being-understood-fully by ppl around, it really breaks my heart and wanna to protect. --- I hv heard sad stories bf and feel sad for ppl, but rarely feel heartbroken/heart-crying unless I CARE at a DEEEEPEST level.

Let's just say when ENFJ and INFP bonds at a deep level, ENFJ can't help but offer a protection, which makes us feel being needed and special to INFP.😊




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Discussion starter · #45 · (Edited)
J_Enfj said:
@Histoire

"Wanna protect some" is more like an emotional choice. U can be independent and still some ppl wanna protect u. No conflict!

The INFP lady I met has travelled lots of foreign countries by herself and she enjoys to travel alone.... But when she told me her feelings of loneliness, childhood trauma, not-being-understood-fully by ppl around, it really breaks my heart and wanna to protect. --- I hv heard sad stories bf and feel sad for ppl, but rarely feel heartbroken/heart-crying unless I CARE at a DEEEEPEST level.

Let's just say when ENFJ and INFP bonds at a deep level, ENFJ can't help but offer a protection, which makes us feel being needed and special to INFP.��




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Oh okay. On that way. :)
That's really beautiful what you say about wanting to feel special and needed by INFP's because you care about us that much. That Fe-perspective makes me really melt away. :)
Question I thought about few days ago.
If you don't mind to answer :) : I find myself very drawn to Fe-users because they way the show how much they care is so sweet. What makes Fe's fall on Fi and not on Fe?
I understand the protection force you have. I experience it too, but with a healing force.

Has she told you those things? That are deep things to share!That I would only tell to someone I trust and feel very close too. I've told no one about my painful experiences about being excluded, humilated an laughed with because I was other than the others. Even not to my closest friend. I don't talk about not being fully understood by others because it wouldn't be understood and the only one I ever give a splinter about my feelings of loneliness with an ENFP-friend because I knew she has it too.
Can't you see it? She's into you. :) She must really, really like you and feel comfortable and safe around you. Believe me, if she trust you with such personal information and if she tells to YOU: People don't understand me: it means she know you do.
It means you're not like the others. It means she feels close to you. Or she wouldn't tell you,why should she? You're special for her. She's ignoring you because she cares deeply for you but don't want to seem to obvious because she's shy and want to stay prudent about it. :)
Don't give up on her. She cares for you. So much she don't even want to show it, believe me. :)
 
#46 ·
@Histoire

Thank you, you make my day😊❤.. I'll cherish her(her sharing) more.

One of reasons I didn't feel I'm special to her bf coz I'm the person ppl easily to trust. During my life, there r more than dozens ppl/friends told me their deepest true feelings and childhood experiences. I never judge them and always curious and explore(try to understand) the real triggers behind their behaviors. I know and they know that I'm a very reliable person who's willing to offer a support mentally and materially without asking a return.... After sharing, some of them wanna extend into romantic relationship, some's not.
To be honestly, I'm not surprised (and even used) that ppl share their rare-told stories with me.

I know she also shared her feeling and stories to her closest friends( one or two?), so another reason I didn't feel I'm special. BUT since she ignores/interact less with me now, we'll see😚

Fi vs Fe:
I don't know i'll fall into Fi until this happened. I feel happy when hangout with Fe, but my heart melt down when interact with Fi( I mean, INFP.... So far only INFP makes me feel in this way).

If no interaction, my impression about INFP is that they r very quiet, soft ppl. After interaction, I can feel how they perceive and feel to this world, its very (I mean extremely) touching, soft, endless tender that easily melt my heart❤. Once experience this feeling, I'll never forget and always wanna taste more😊


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Discussion starter · #48 ·
mandarintrees said:
@Histoire

Soo... How is this all unfolding? Did you make a move yet? ;)
Click to expand...
Not yet.:) Last lesson is tomorrow. He won't come I guess and then there are examinations till the 1st july, so first I'm going to study.
There's a little change I will see him there, on the examinations, if he's planned same day as me. If not, I'm going to add him on facebook.
I'm just a bit scared, was thinking about it today, there's a lot of time before it's 1st of july and I don't see him that much. When I do, there ALWAYS happens something, but don't know if that's enough to make him accept my request because the interest may have been faded? I reflect about it a lot but of course I can't know if he ever thinks of me because ENFJ's have busy lives.
I want to wait because I know I want to concentrate on studies first. So I hope it will turn out well. :)
 
Discussion starter · #49 ·
J_Enfj said:
@Histoire

Thank you, you make my day��❤.. I'll cherish her(her sharing) more.

One of reasons I didn't feel I'm special to her bf coz I'm the person ppl easily to trust. During my life, there r more than dozens ppl/friends told me their deepest true feelings and childhood experiences. I never judge them and always curious and explore(try to understand) the real triggers behind their behaviors. I know and they know that I'm a very reliable person who's willing to offer a support mentally and materially without asking a return.... After sharing, some of them wanna extend into romantic relationship, some's not.
To be honestly, I'm not surprised (and even used) that ppl share their rare-told stories with me.

I know she also shared her feeling and stories to her closest friends( one or two?), so another reason I didn't feel I'm special. BUT since she ignores/interact less with me now, we'll see��

Fi vs Fe:
I don't know i'll fall into Fi until this happened. I feel happy when hangout with Fe, but my heart melt down when interact with Fi( I mean, INFP.... So far only INFP makes me feel in this way).

If no interaction, my impression about INFP is that they r very quiet, soft ppl. After interaction, I can feel how they perceive and feel to this world, its very (I mean extremely) touching, soft, endless tender that easily melt my heart❤. Once experience this feeling, I'll never forget and always wanna taste more��


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Click to expand...
Nice to hear it helped you. :) I really understand your point of view. Many people trust you, so you get used to it. But it's true what I've said. INFP's really don't wear there hearts on there sleeves. It's difficult for us to share personal stuff. So when we share, you must be special.
It must have taken a lot for her to open up. What can lead to confusing. Because she did something very deep, and you, who're used to be people's confident haven't experienced the way she did. So, it can be possible that she's hurted and confused now. Because she went very deep and you act afterwards to her like she did something normal. (which I understand from your point of view, but she doesn't know your side) What could have given her the feeling of not being special for you. Your a guy who knows a lot of people. So what happened could have given her the though that she's just another person, one one the 'all the people he knows' list. Just another one. She will see the signals that you like her, but maybe she's just a bit confused about it. And doesn't she know sure.
 
#50 ·
Hahaha I saw your profile pic on a post in a thread, and I felt instantly attracted to you.
Not lusty lust!
I'm a female lady who happens to be straight. But you darling.
There is an authentic energy in your eyes.

We can be besties forever.
yes yes yes.
 
#51 · (Edited)
SpreeFirit said:
Hahaha I saw your profile pic on a post in a thread, and I felt instantly attracted to you.
Not lusty lust!
I'm a female lady who happens to be straight. But you darling.
There is an authentic energy in your eyes.

We can be besties forever.
yes yes yes.
Click to expand...
really- ha! How much really do u charge.... Get off this forum... And, I see right thru this- I read this wrong and had Ben dealing with a forum troll. Please accept my apologies....
 
#53 ·
If you're implying that I was being sarcastic, you're mistaken.
I never meant that. Maybe it translated that way?
I could see in her her eyes that she has the same energy as the INFP's in my life, it's very soothing.
 
#55 · (Edited)
sweethomealabama said:
k. I was mistaken, sorry.... Tell us about you, ENFJ... What is it about ENFJ & INFP...?
Click to expand...
It's quite alright. I totally get how you saw that, now..
Things are often mistranslated over the internet. :)

With my closest INFP friend, we are both type 4's. He and I share an almost telepathic connection. We get random impulses to communicate with one another at the same time.. I can't even count the number of times he has text me at the exact moment I thought to text him, we just laugh it off now. It's trippy.

If ever I feel like giving up, I know he is there to heal me. That's how I perceive INFP's- they really do heal people.
 
#56 ·
SpreeFirit said:
It's quite alright. I totally get how you saw that, now..
Things are often mistranslated over the internet. :)

With my closest INFP friend, we are both type 4's. He and I share an almost telepathic connection. We get random impulses to communicate with one another at the same time.. I can't even count the number of times he has text me at the exact moment I thought to text him, we just laugh it off now. It's trippy.

If ever I feel like giving up, I know he is there to heal me. That's how I perceive INFP's- they really do heal people.
Click to expand...
smiling- healers we are...ENFJs take my breathe away. Y'all are vert special, indeed!
 
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sweethomealabama
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