Why do people dislike me for no reason? Is it an INFJ thing?

Satan Claus · Aug 25, 2014

I'm a 16 year old INFJ and school is starting up again soon. I was thinking about these girls who dislike me for no reason. I'm always nice to them but they're always really cold towards me. Almost as if they're upset with me about something or I don't know. But I don't like it because I just want people to be nice to each other. But I'll walk down the hall and some girl will just give me this evil look for no reason. I don't even know her! These other girls I know are just rude to me but really nice to my friends. This one time I was with my friend sitting next to him and this girl just comes up to us and says to him "Uhm, why are you sitting so close to her?" Had it been any one else she would have been fine with it. That's just one example. I don't know what I've done but I feel intimidated and I hate it. I have a good amount of friends and I get along with pretty much everyone except this group of girls. Is this part of being an INFJ? Since we don't generally fit in to society?

BlackDog · Aug 25, 2014

I'm an INTJ but a lot of women don't like me either. I had a similar experience in high school.

Its possible that some of it is in your head (dirty looks, for example) and a few bad experience have caused you to interpret further interactions as more.negative or hostile than they may have been.

In my case, I am apparently extremely self confident (bordering on arrogant). I am a very nice person but I have been told this intimidates a lot of women and causes them to be immediately hostile. Is there something about your personality you can think of that could be similarly misconstrued?

Overall, I wouldn't worry about. People like that aren't worth your time.

lackofmops · Aug 25, 2014

It has nothing to do with being an INFJ, and it's not for no reason. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm sure you're a wonderful person.

You don't fit into their clear-cut mold of what it takes to be popular. But don't worry, life changes drastically after school ends. If you're smart, you'll end up with a well-paying job and lots of friends and they'll end up as losers, reliving their high school days.

Then again, you're a feeler so you probably won't take comfort in their inevitable failure.

Satan Claus · Aug 25, 2014

lackofmops said:
It has nothing to do with being an INFJ, and it's not for no reason. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm sure you're a wonderful person.

You don't fit into their clear-cut mold of what it takes to be popular. But don't worry, life changes drastically after school ends. If you're smart, you'll end up with a well-paying job and lots of friends and they'll end up as losers, reliving their high school days.

Then again, you're a feeler so you probably won't take comfort in their inevitable failure.

I'm sure it gets better. But these girls aren't even popular themselves so it's weird. I don't really care that much about popularity. Most people think I'm nice which is all that really matters to me. That I'm making people feel happy.

Fievel · Aug 25, 2014

You can't please everybody. Somebody somewhere will hate you for some reason. I'm sorry they're mean to you. People were pricks to me in high school too.

Satan Claus said:
But these girls aren't even popular themselves so it's weird.

Sounds like they're insecure, and want to tear you down to make themselves feel better. Typical teenage nonsense.

Most people think I'm nice which is all that really matters to me. That I'm making people feel happy.

Well that's what matters. Perhaps they're jealous about the fact people think you're nice.

11th · Aug 25, 2014

I don't think it's an INFJ thing more than just social behavior.
Maybe you have something good that makes other people jealous. Maybe you're pretty, or smart, or get along with people they want to get along. Maybe you just have a different kind of vibe and some people can't stand it for reasons unknown to the universe.
School environment can be the worst and most of the times it's not really your fault.
I'm thinking you might have/be something one other person really wants to be/have and that person might tell other people that you suck and suddenly no one knows why they don't like you but they just don't.
I know it sucks, I kinda went through something similiar when I was your age and I know how much it sucks because you just want people to get along so if you want any advice just keep being friendly even to people who don't like you but try not to worry too much about that because there's nothing wrong with you and eventually those girls will notice that or just move their hate towards whoever they feel like this week.

zenithx · Aug 25, 2014

Cause you're deep and you have substance, they probably don't.

Because you're natural and nice to all people, and that is something they are not familiar with.

They see you as competition, or as a foreign object, because those girls are probably not nice/shallow and wan't to associate with people who only talk about light hearted things. Or they're intimidated by you because they don't know how to get along with everyone like you do (sort of generalizing for all INFJs).

This happened to me all the time in high school. Those types of girls chase other popular or dominant types of girls to try to kiss their ass because as you said, they're not even popular themselves, but they act cold towards you for absolutely no reason. It's horrible because it makes me never want to open my mouth since everything I say gets a weird/no response. Hang in there, don't worry about them :/

Why do people dislike me for no reason? Is it an INFJ thing?

Satan Claus

BlackDog

lackofmops

Satan Claus

Fievel

11th

zenithx

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