It is hard to talk to some people about what I'm feeling, especially J's who seem to want to force an instant and concise answer.

 

awww.... I just really want to know what my next step is... T__T

 

I go through spurts where I try to improve it, then I usually get frustrated and walk away from it a while and resign myself to the fact that emotions just aren't my strong suit. I know what you mean, really, and its taken a lifetime of experience to improve through experience. Yep, unfortunately experience. It seems like everything else has been easy for me to grasp theoretically, but emotion was just as slow as those things were fast.

 

Just don't bother. Actions speak louder than words.

 

Yeah... try telling that to the rest of the goram planet.

 

^ what he said.
I would have an awful time trying to explain, because I think way more often than I actually feel anything out of the ordinary, so any real emotions that are out of the ordinary are foreign to me, I kinda wish they weren't.

 

Counting down until thread title is changed to An Emotionally Disabled INTP...

 

:shocked: Don't you mean differently abled?

 

Emotions. Dem bastids. I've been trying to battle with those incomprehensible monsters for years.

I've tried a few times to act like regular people and complain about life, which may help to blow off steam, but nobody really cares about your life to the extent that you do. I'd rather stop whining and live my life stoically. I want responsibility for myself and don't want to bother others with my problems.

On the other hand, even in basic social situations, I'm a little off beat with other people, due to my crippled emotional state. For example, somebody could say a little social joke that I understand but don't find funny, and I will remain serious. I won't laugh falsely to please another person.

I feel very comfortable thinking through problems, whether I know the problem or not. It's natural and almost fun to analyze, to go deeper and deeper. Sometimes I forget that other people prefer different approaches and don't value the same things that I value. I seem to think about people, on a day to day basis, as if they were floating brains or androids instead of fleshy emotional skin sacks.

 

An emotionally retarded INTP? What a novel concept!


Srsly though, I'm extremely embarassed of expressing my emotions publicly.

 

Some tasty alliteration there.

Emotions? BAH! I wish I could somehow get across to people what I feel, because when I try to explain my emotions I end up getting to a point where no words suffice and then I just shut up and people think I'm mad at them because I have nothing to say anymore.

 

The title is redundant.

 

I can definitely relate.

(can anyone explain their hormones? to me this seems like being conscious of what one's red blood cells are doing.)

 

I think the OP has gotten something dramatically wrong. INTPs are propably the only people on the planet capable of having a healthy social interaction with someone else, and usually it is all ruined by the touchy-feely bullshit that other people spew.

 

I mostly agree. Most emotions just ruin interpersonal relations. Their omission from the equation makes a proper relationship possible.

At the same time, since we repress our emotions to such an extreme extent, they build up and cause all kinds of havoc because we haven't a clue what's going on. This can turn us into emotional wrecks because we haven't got any clue which end is up.

 

That's xNTP disease. Everything is "meta". Need to rationalize everything.

It's a lot better just to feel emotions and not to think about how you should be feeling, but it takes a while to get there. It's a life's labor for most xNTP's, I find.

 

No, the western culture is riddled with emotional taboos that INTP break all the time. Our resentment of emotion is no accident, we have simply learned that life is a lot easier when ruthlessly rational. And what do you mean it "takes a while to get there" with feeling freely? Do you mean it takes a while for us to accept the cultural norm of what is acceptable feeling for us? If so, I will never want to "get there".

 

Of coarse we have a hard time trying to explain and express feelings. Isn't that part of the INTP personality??

My problem is this: Whenever I try to express myself regarding emotions I usually get all fucked up. It's like I'm trying to explain things to the best of my ability and yet still I can not make anyone understand my feelings. I tend to get all worked up, cry, get angry and the like when trying to express deep emotions. So I most often avoid it whenever possible. That takes care of that.

Now...I might add that I do wish I could express emtions "normally" but then I just woiuldn't be me. It's part of who I am.

I also become very uncomfortable when people express their emotions. I don't know how to react so I usually do nothing. Not a particularly good part of my personality, but it's just the way I am. I often wish that I could show affection like "regular" people.

 

Emotions, like everything can be solved in a logical way, retrace your steps, observe others with the same behavior, and make an assumption. You might want to seek a second opinion though /ughh, I know but sometimes you shouldn't trust your conclusions about these things/.

 

Your comment is akin to hearing someone explain how to smell the color of music or perhaps how to calculate the volume of a four-sided triangle. It is illogical.

Feeling is feeling. Thinking is thinking. You can think about feelings but then you aren't really feeling.

With all do respect, you can't feel with your brain. It took me a while to get over this as well.

You are correct Sir.

 

I can definitely relate; I get really, really inarticulate when I'm trying to explain my feelings, which sidetracks me from what I'm trying to say. I then try and counterbalance by using so many long words that no one really gets what I'm trying to say anyway.

Have you tried writing everything down? That way I find I can get everything out there in a stream of consiousness without having to worry about necessarily explaining anything at this stage. You don't have to be exploring what you feel and trying to make it understandable to someone at the same time; you can have a go at making some sense of it first, and then use that to explain to someone else. Not guaranteed to work for you, but might be worth a try.

 

I actually have tried writing, and yes it does help. That way I am at least able to sort through all the bullshit in my head and make sense of it piece by piece to myself, before I go an try to explain me to someone else.

 

With all do respect, you can't feel with your brain. It took me a while to get over this as well.

 

Actually, neurosurgery has proven it a myriad times that it is the brain in which the feeling sensations are born and processed. So in fact you do feel with your brain, and it is everyday procedure in psychotherapy to mold emotions with reflective reasoning.

 

I think that feeling and thinking can occur at the same time. I THINK while I'm feeling.

 

I am not emotionally disabled. Do not ask me how that is possible. My problem, however, seems to be with sharing the reality of my feelings with others. It feels nearly impossible to allow someone that close.

 

I always assumed I was great at talking about my feelings until I started keeping a journal about it. It turns out what I thought was a very straightforward, honest explanation was this insanely complex list of excuses or reasons for my feelings, instead of the feelings themselves. "I can't believe she did that;" "This person doesn't help at all;" "I wouldn't be so angry if I..." It's like I let my Ne completely take over when I try to talk about feelings, and I end up talking about something (or someone) else. I'm now having to forcefully remind myself to talk about what I feel, not just a lengthly explanation about what caused it, how to stop it and who is responsible.

To anyone still struggling with this, I highly recommend writing a few "feeling journals" where you talk about how you're feeling each day. Go back and read these, and whenever you see it written as, "I wish it weren't like this" make a little note saying something like, "I feel angry. I feel frustrated and upset and I am not comfortable with these feelings. It makes me feel very insecure when I think of this particular topic, because I don't want to admit to myself that it angers me. It doesn't seem logical for me to feel this way, but I have to accept that I am angry, and this is a natural human emotion that I can accept within myself."

 

If I go on your block list then I am afraid it is your loss, but your accusations hardly seem appropriate.

The fact that I do not worship feelings in a God-like altar of sacrifice does not mean that the only other alternative is a complete ignoring of emotions or feelings. Not everything is black & white. I also cannot realize what is there so bad about acknowledging the fact that humans are basically biological vending machines? If you feed us with a certain social of physical stimuli, we will respond according to our biological "programming". Understanding this only helps humanity as science has shown, and in no way can this simple piece of knowledge take away anything from our lives. Quite the opposite I would say, i find psychology and biology very interesting.

 

Well, I see that you are "depressed".

You don't say.

This has much less to do with "society" and a lot to do with being fully human.

Take it from someone who's had two failed marriages and a whole lot of therapy.


Think and feel. They are different things. You need both.

 

Well, I see that you are "depressed".

You don't say.

This has much less to do with "society" and a lot to do with being fully human.

Human psyche is much more about the conditioning of society and culture, and the genetic component only plays a part on the likelyhood of particular conditionings to work. Humans are known to psychically condition themselves even away from sexuality. This view also has alot of empirical support, and this is also the reason why "human nature" arguments don't work in court. That is because there is no such thing as "human nature", and our actions and behaviour is dictated by consciousness and social norms.

Think and feel. They are different things. You need both.

I would like to see this study. Also, need for what? Seems alot like a philosophical (and as such non-sensical) statement.

 

I have an idea, I'll start telling people fuck you, and then refer them the mods to your post and let you explain how it is an uncontrollable chemical reaction I am not responsible for......straight from the heart.........

 

Who said anything about uncontrollable? Responding to stimuli and having control are not mutually exclusive. If you have learned to fear medical syringes due to cognitive conditioning, you can still choose to go to a doctor or not. Thus, your reactions on an emotional level are more than predictable, but your reasoning consciousness can take control. That is exactly why I would not like to raise emotions to such a high pedestial.

 

I certainly put the idea of telling you what I think as I express my emotion as far more important than the emotion itself.....duh

 

I certainly put the idea of telling you what I think as I express my emotion far more than the emotion itself.....duh

I am afraid I don't understand the grammar of this statement (I am not a native speaker), nor do I understand how a single example can give us any insight on the larger issue at hand.

 

I see now quite clearly.....a fear of being emotionally out of control is why one would refrain from being emotional. Hence the idea of putting them on a pedestal. I can control what is in my heart, because my mind tells me to tell my heart no, usually I decide to do this. I think it is pathetic that a man especially can't control himself emotionally. If his excuse is that in order to be subjected to his heart he puts his feelings on a pedestal. Why don't you do the world a favor and decide if you want to be a progenitor, that it would be putting your sex organs on a pedestal.

 

I cannot bear to catch up with four pages of posts, so if anything I say is redundant, I apologize.

I am going to speak on a personal level. All of my life I have been acutely aware of my profound emotions (which are naturally mixed). But I have always kept my emotions in a box, with a tight lid. I am able to readily access them, for the sake of observation and analysis, and whenever necessary. I find it surprisingly easy to discuss them, and to think about them. However, this misses the mark---as well as the point---of emotions, altogether. By the way, this has almost nothing to do with psychometrics. I refer to the everyday task of both feeling and thinking. Everyone thinks. Everyone feels. But sometimes one stands in the way of the other. A fundamental problem arises for me, when I attempt to access and really feel my emotions. Intellectualizing has always kept me at a safe distance from fully engaging in the human experience, which naturally includes complex emotions.

When I first entered psychotherapy, I carried on with objective, analytical estrangement from hurt feelings (especially). I tried to impress (and likely thought I could fool) my therapist, with clinical jargon and expertise. I wanted to convey an heir of command and mastery over my feelings, so that she would not detect a need to explore them further. Specifically, I could not bare the thought of embodying my despair---I remained terrified to enter this inevitable stage of our work together. Eventually, she asked me why I bothered coming to therapy at all: If I had everything sorted out, what was her necessary role?

Yuck. A logical question, I was obliged to answer. The upshot? I was not fully integrated. How would I ever become whole, if I insisted on partitioning my feelings from the rest of my body and brain---emotions are not separate entities, requiring intellectual domination. They are rightfully there, in equal share, to be experienced.

I guess my point is, it helps to stop and consider how you are feeling during a discomfited moment, especially while you remain in that moment. If you are finding it difficult to express your emotions, consider how that, in itself, makes you feel---and why. Much of our emotions are pre-verbal, and defy explanation. So, don't try. Tell the other person as much as you can, but fight the urge to scramble for cognitive sense. If the other person truly cares for you, she will understand. You can defuse the intensity and anxiety of talking about feelings, by keeping it simple.


It helps to accept that our feelings demand as much respect, acknowledgment and integration as our aptitude does. You are not emotionally "challenged". You are challenged by your emotions. This is okay. It is also understandable, and fairly common.