On the surface, it sounds like it could be a great fit!

Can you describe the crazy side a bit more? My crazy side is more imaginative, creative, random, weird, goofy. I may get really interested in something obscure and talk your head off about it.

Values are a BIG deal. For a relationship I don't expect everything to be 100% perfect but I do expect as we grow together that we would strengthen our shared values. But if you and an ENFP seriously violate each others values then it probably wouldn't work.

i have found that independence is the key to keeping me from getting bored. I prefer a partner who has their own interests and can pursue things and enjoy things without me as much as with me. I dated a girl recently who was really into antiques, something I personally have no interest in. But it was something that just made her light up, and I actually loved hearing her talk about it and I would ask her questions and try to learn more about what she enjoyed about it so much. Being with a partner who had some very different interests than me made me really happy.

Boredom doesn't mean we necessarily have to be "entertained" by a partner or that they would have to do a bunch of things to keep us interested. Boredom for us would really be demanding that we don't be independent or not connecting with us on an emotional or intuitive level.

I will warn you there are two main issues with ENFP guys you will want to avoid:

1. Insecurity - Ne/Fi means we will always question ourselves, look for feedback, and ask questions on an emotional level to be able to better understand our connection with our partners. This in itself is not an indication of insecurity BUT I notice ENFP men are prone to harboring deep insecurity. If an ENFP guy hasn't found their inner core of security, they will be prone to introducing some really serious problems into a relationship. One version of this is the guy who makes you the center of their universe. They aren't going on an adventure in life, their partner has become the adventure and as a result anything triggering their insecurity about the relationship will cause them to spiral downward. Another version of this would be a bottomless pit of need for affirmation, they just never will quite feel secure enough and things will be unnecessarily tense.

2. Disorganized \ Immature - ENFP guys are not great with practical matters of keeping house and otherwise being responsible. It helps to have a partner who can compliment us by being better with these things while having some patience for us when we make mistakes. For some people the sort of disorganization that doesn't bother us will be like nails on a chalkboard to them, and this can actually cause serious problems. This also can cause issues with our career pursuits. Immature ENFP guys who haven't matured properly can be "man children" or make really foolish decisions based on bad ideas that can put them in a tough spot.


I would say good signs an ENFP would be a good partner are: financial stability, emotional intelligence, tangible progress towards goals, and good long term friendships. Red flags would be: lots of drama in friendships, irresponsible compulsiveness, unrealistic life goals, over invested in time wasting hobbies like video games, etc.

 

My father is ISFP and his wife is ENFP. They've been married 7 years now, which is exactly 6 years longer than I expected it to last. Of course, they're both coming up on 70, and I don't think they would've jived too well earlier in their lives. They've both had some serious life events which matured them.

What's amazing is that she is the ONLY woman I've ever seen handle him. He takes himself very seriously. She doesn't take him seriously. I never knew that was how to deal with his occasional fits of rage! I wish I had a time machine, so I could clue my mother in.

His new wife just makes a wacky face, sticks her tongue out at him, shrugs her shoulders, and walks away to leave him sucking down his own fumes. The first time I saw it, my jaw dropped.

She DOES have quite a social life which doesn't include him, a homebody and a misanthrope. She likes to shop and hang out with girlfriends and go to spas and volunteer, and he kind of looks down on it. She just does it anyway.

I'd say they have an excellent relationship, but that's because they both know very well who they are and what they want.

 

@providence Thank you very much for the tips and experiences!

Well, I don't want to come across as narrow-minded, but many ENFP males I know like to flirt heavily with their feminine side. For example, one ENFP guy I know looks very masculine, however in his free time he likes to pole dance :laughing: , many are also into BDSM, are okay with cheating, polyamory, that kind of stuff. This exploration of femininity might be funny if he's just a friend, but it can be quite of a turn off for me sexually. I agree about the values thing, I think this is the most important thing for a relationship. By being bored with ISFP, I meant more in terms of thinking and ideas. Maybe they might get bored with the ISFP being more conventional and not willing to follow some of their ideas, but then again, they might need someone to ground them...I don't know

 

uhhhh..... I can't relate with that description at all.

I am only "feminine" in as much as I am more in touch with my emotions and have a very nurturing personality. The reason for this is personal development is paramount in my life. As ENFP I am prone to quite a few flaws and blindspots and since motivation is in short supply, it was a difficult journey to grow as a person. As a result, I tend to want to nurture others in their well being and bring the best out in them.

On the flipside I never was into what you would consider being a "macho" guy. I found meatheads who wanted to show dominance to come off as shallow and lame.

A lot of the other things you mentioned are all driven by values. Many types will be extremely different based on their values. I tend to be extremely loyal and traditionally conservative but not prude. I'm personally not particularly flirty, but often feel very comfortable interacting with women. I naturally give out compliments which could be taken the wrong way. In my pursuit of living a meaningful life, I prefer monogamous long term relationships.

As ENFP I don't want someone who is always going to follow my ideas because even I don't want to do that. I like being balanced by someone more practical. That said though it shouldn't be stifling and they should be able to interact with you when you are sharing ideas and thoughts about life.

i hope that helps!

 

@providence Come on, you know you pole dance.

 

Only on Tuesdays

 

I love isfp

Believe the pairing would work out extremely well however it’s rare to find an isfp enfp couple.

Healthy enfp are quite mellow and assertive - I assume that’s the same with most healthy people .
Isfp have Se aux which means they’re more willing to try new things when suggested and both type have Fi - which I find is refreshing bc it causes less misunderstanding and bickering .
Also isfp Fi- Ni is very deep and insightful , I honestly find isfp very intuitive. I think enfp would enjoy the emotional connection along with the adventures

I have yet heard complaint about isfp and enfp together/ my isfp crush back in hs married an enfp and they’re very in sync and in love with one another
A reality show I watch also had an isfp and Enfp couple . Best of luck !

 

My ISFP female cousin is married to an ENFP guy, they seem very much attracted to one another even after a decade of marriage + children. ISFPs in general seem to envy the traits other ENFPs around them seem to harbor, but you guys have just as much to offer. As an ENFP what I seek in a relationship is comfort, companionship and understanding, I'm sure anybody from any type could fit that description in their own way.

 

Probably depends on particular people too as even within same type we're somewhat different ENFPs here.

I've never been in relationship with or dated ISFP but I know one girl of that type and we klick well as friends, can talk about everything, including sexuality. Our obvious biggest difference which could affect if I was in relationship with such personality is that sexuality is focused on direct and tangible for her while for guy like me it's much more idea and possibility based

Also my 16yo son seems most likely to be xSFP (more like I version though) and we're fine in all aspects. What I noticed when he was yet quite small - that I definitely don't want to step on his toes and form his values like adults often did when I was at the same age. Didn't know about mbti those times when he was smaller but that Fi makes us quite similar as I realized later

So yep, maybe the values compatibility could be something to consider for such combination - it looks to me that dom Fi persons discard or withdraw more easily when something crosses the line for them while if something similar happens to me, I can show my harsher side which isn't always that nice.

That "crazy" part does exist too - you will never know how I act or think next - things can be fine and then there's a sudden unexpected shift in my moods as I feel bored and need more stimulation, especially from sexuality aspects. Power exchange, bdsm, various different forms of sexuality are all fine unless they harm the relationship. But cheating is not okay

 

I loooooove ENFP x ISFP.

Most ENFPs: Open-minded, passionate, adventurous, free spirited, sees the world as a place full of possibilities, crazy, optimistic, enjoys aesthetics

Most ISFPs: Poetic, deep as hell, has an undercurrent need to be wild, passionate, adventurous, waaaay more intuitive than they're given credit for, enjoys beauty + aesthetics

Both: Have a "hippy-ish" kind of vibe (don't kill me lol)

One of my closest friends that I talk to almost every day is an ISFP. She says that she thinks an ENFP would make her "unable to breath" but she says that to all extroverts.

We have a pretty compatible and peaceful companionship where we can read each other well.

Like any type with any type, when it's two healthy individuals, ISFP x ENFP are the bomb.com. ;-)

 

I'm traumatised by dominant Fi-function so I wouldn't go for it

 

I had three magical dates with an ISFP and I'm still crushing on him. Life stuff came up and he's not in a place to be in a relationship, but I could have seen it being wonderful for a time. For long-term, I worry that I see significance in things that he feels more surface-level about. What, to me, felt like an incredible sign from the universe, to him felt like a funny coincidence.

 

Yeah, I must admit I'm having difficulties thinking that way too...it doesn't really make sense to me....after all, this is only your personal interpretation that may or may not be true. It never worked for me though...

I actually met with yet another ENFP yesterday, we met on Tinder (are there really that many ENFPs or I just happen to stumble upon them all the time?! ) So, he told me that I lack romanticism but that he has enough to share :laughing: I was kind of put off by his premature display of "romanticism", it striked me as immature and a bit creepy. Is it common for ENFPs to move fast emotionally? When it comes to emotions, I need to hang out with someone for at least 2 weeks to develop some kind of emotions for them and decide whether to date them or not. Also, talking to someone online means nothing to me as I don't see it as "real". Any thoughts?