One of my closest friends is an ESTJ.
I can see how an INTP x ESTJ relationship could work, although I know I annoy the hell out of her for being so disorganised. INTP's are better at that than ENTP's though, aren't they?
But both types are pretty good at observing the world unemotionally, so it could make for some interesting conversations.

ESTJ women aren't that uncommon. The ESTJ I know spends most of her time at work, which is kind of stereotypical, but also generally somewhat accurate. ESTJ's care a lot about personal duty, from what I can tell. The typical places to meet people would probably also work. She likes to go clubbing, she goes to church every Sunday, etc.

It should probably be obvious by now, but you're unlikely to find an ESTJ woman on an MBTI forum. :tongue:

 

This too... but I figured, if the guy's got his mind made up, may as well let him learn it himself.

 

Just a small warning (you may already be aware of):
Dont idealize a certain type too much.
I suggest not going after a particular type, but to keep your options open.

Apart from that, I have an ESTJ sister and we get along very well. She's one of my favourite people.
Like with every type she has traits i dislike but i think we complement each other nicely.
Most of the time shes studying (at home or university) or shes being active, god knows doing what...

 

I'm an ESTJ woman who is super interested in an INTP at the moment. So i'll let you know how that works out if I don't scare him away with my directness lol. I've noticed my ESTJ friends tend to be conservative politics-wise. I enjoy history, so going to museums and antique shops is definitely my favorite hobby. The clubbing and church thing is also super accurate in my case :shocked:

 

do you think about the Ne development is important to get a good relationship between INTP and ESTJ?

 

Most people like themselves the most. People want somebody like themselves but who contrasts them. People are simply into types who have their first function in an inverse order.

ESTJ are INTPs match because they are both dominated thinking types. I haven't had any experience with this type.

 

It's not a bad match-up. I've met a sister and a brother, her being ESTJ and him being INTP, and they seem to be able to appreciate each other over Si & Ne functions that they share. He comes up with something unusual and inventive on his Ne, and she gladly shares in his ideas and plans. At the same time she helps him be more organized and protectively watches over him.

The relation between these types is known as mirage relations: Relationship types for ESTJs & Relationships for INTPs

 

I've often said that ESTJ is probably the type I get along with the worst and lately I've seen no reason to change my mind.

 

I've actually recently been particularly curious about how good of a match ESTJ (or ISTJ) would be for me. I really like my Si, and I'm curious about what it's like higher in the stack for someone.

 

Some examples right off the top of my head:
- I remember every phone number I've ever had, including the telephone number we had when I was a child.
- Still remember the time/temperature to cook foods in the kitchen when I worked at the restaurant.
- Drove to Myrtle Beach (900 mile trip) a few years ago; the following year I went back and like a dummy, forgot the map. Managed to recall the route from memory with only one brief "oops".

If you give me some specific examples of what you're looking for, I may be able to provide more detailed answers.

 

I've come to the realization that I actually do decently well with some ISTJs in a way which makes me think that there's probably ESTJs who are just more extraverted versions of them. But the thing about these ISTJs is that it's hard to ever see us getting too close and it's more about being on a distant mutually beneficial place where we each balance each other out. For instance in a work situation, it's sometimes helpful to have someone really predictable because I can go off into my corner and use intuition to come up with something while having a good idea of what I will deal with when I come back. In turn if I show enough good results I can get respect as a strategist for products even if the ISTJ isn't exactly interested in understanding where I am coming from.

I can't actually imagine being in a relationship with an ISTJ, just because it seems like the disconnect would cause too much trouble and I think there would be a real lack of balance, but I think there is definitely room for a mutual respect between INTPs and STJs, brought about by seeing in them what they lack themselves.

But the always angry, impatient, stubborn, domineering STJs just make me want to look for an escape route.

 

INTP is a bad match for ISTJ because ISTJ don't care for Ti and Ne. Meanwhile, ESTJs do. I think the 4th and 6th function are functions that people don't care about. Meanwhile, the third and 5th function is what people care about. Even though ISTJ and ESTJ share all the same functions in a different order, I think there is a huge difference in them because of where the functions are placed.

I am attractive to being in a relationship with ESTJ. I think I have always been attractive to the type 3-6-8 enneagram archetype. This type always appealed to me even before I knew of the MBTI. I don't know why.

 

There is a good article on the romance style of mbti types. Each functions creates an attitude on how people romance another type. For instance the SJ are known as caregivers archtype. Because SJ have a preference for introverted sensing, when they romance another type, they may treat a person like they're little children.

Types who prefer Ne act like little children which would fall in the NP group. The childlike type would think of silly possibilities with their preference for Ne. The childlike type would find the caregiver attractive because the caregiver is looking for a little child to take care of. The child-like is looking for an adult to look after them.

ESTJ usually look for a child-like to look after. Meanwhile, INTP look for an adult to look after them. I think this type can be satisfying to be with. I find the idea of being in a caregiver relationship to be quite pleasant.

https://understandingsocionics.tumblr.com/post/127011080875/romance-styles

 

What do other people think of the article? I find myself attractive to the idea of being with a caregiver. I want to be romanced with their introverted sensing. I like that we have the common Ne connection and they can play around with my goofy behavior thinking of the absurd possibilities.

 

"For instance the SJ are known as caregivers archtype. Because SJ have a preference for introverted sensing, when they romance another type, they may treat a person like they're little children.

Types who prefer Ne act like little children which would fall in the NP group. The childlike type would think of silly possibilities with their preference for Ne. The childlike type would find the caregiver attractive because the caregiver is looking for a little child to take care of. The child-like is looking for an adult to look after them.

ESTJ usually look for a child-like to look after. Meanwhile, INTP look for an adult to look after them. I think this type can be satisfying to be with. I find the idea of being in a caregiver relationship to be quite pleasant."


I've never read that before, but that is incredibly accurate in my experience. I've mentioned in another thread that my partner and I are ESTJ and INTP and very much into the S&M lifestyle in many variations. Outside of the house we both have regular careers, but at home our relationship does take on a very parent-child feel and we both love that arrangement. I've always wondered if it was due to us not having children (we decided early on that neither wanted kids) and my maternal instinct being 'misdirected' in some way at my partner, as I've felt like that towards every man I've dated. But the above description is eerily correct.

I obviously can't speak for all INTPs, but I definitely have a preference for men with that type of personality and they have all acted very submissive and 'childlike' to a certain extent. That was always one of the main criteria for me in terms of a mate, as strange as that may sound to a lot of people. While most of the girls I grew up with were fawning over macho, muscley, slightly aggressive men, I was chasing after the awkward, nerdy scientists and programmers. I could never date a male ESTJ.

 

"For instance the SJ are known as caregivers archtype. Because SJ have a preference for introverted sensing, when they romance another type, they may treat a person like they're little children.

Types who prefer Ne act like little children which would fall in the NP group. The childlike type would think of silly possibilities with their preference for Ne. The childlike type would find the caregiver attractive because the caregiver is looking for a little child to take care of. The child-like is looking for an adult to look after them.

ESTJ usually look for a child-like to look after. Meanwhile, INTP look for an adult to look after them. I think this type can be satisfying to be with. I find the idea of being in a caregiver relationship to be quite pleasant."


I've never read that before, but that is incredibly accurate in my experience. I've mentioned in another thread that my partner and I are ESTJ and INTP and very much into the S&M lifestyle in many variations. Outside of the house we both have regular careers, but at home our relationship does take on a very parent-child feel and we both love that arrangement. I've always wondered if it was due to us not having children (we decided early on that neither wanted kids) and my maternal instinct being 'misdirected' in some way at my partner, as I've felt like that towards every man I've dated. But the above description is eerily correct.

I obviously can't speak for all INTPs, but I definitely have a preference for men with that type of personality and they have all acted very submissive and 'childlike' to a certain extent. That was always one of the main criteria for me in terms of a mate, as strange as that may sound to a lot of people. While most of the girls I grew up with were fawning over macho, muscley, slightly aggressive men, I was chasing after the awkward, nerdy scientists and programmers. I could never date a male ESTJ.

Do you think this comes from a need to be in control of someone else?

 

"Do you think this comes from a need to be in control of someone else?"

I'd say in the bedroom I am very much the one in control. I love being dominant with men who enjoy that. But not neccessarily in the relationship as a whole. I've had non-S&M relationships where it was more level between us, and the control aspect was entirely focused on my own life (mainly my career or other areas). I wouldn't enjoy someone being in control of me, but I don't NEED to always be in control of my partner. It is closer to a sense of being a 'guardian' over him (and other people in my life that I am close to) and feeling very protective. I suppose just like a mother would over a child. Although I have a lot of respect for him at the same time and don't try to control things unless he enjoys and asks for it (which ends up happening a lot, as he can be a bit scatterbrained).

 

Not an INTP, but my ESTJ friend has literally said to me " Let me take care of you!" and he's a guy and I'm a guy, shit got weird. He also packed my lunch for work on time. Socionics is real.

 

😂😂😂

 

In hindsight, I have always played a 'mother' role when sharing a house with other people (male or female). This is making me rethink all my interactions with people now!

 

My ESTJ friend even takes care of his mom and she's not old enough to be in a nursing home or anything, he just has this duty to his mother like he must provide for her.

I've also seen a ESTJ co-worker talk to her mom as if her mom was the one relying on her.

And lastly and off topic I've seen the bossy manager ESTJ girl at work in a group of people hugged up on some quite nerdy looking guy as if he was so precious, and when I asked her for help at work one time she let the baby talk voice come out a little.

Random socionic confirming observations. I could go on for days.

 

Hmm, I'm an INTP who has worked/lived closely with 3 ESTJs that I'm aware of. They all openly liked me a lot, and we worked well together. I respected their intelligence, energy and work ethic greatly. They all give somewhat of a sheltered vibe I find endearing.

But honestly, I can't imagine being married to one and it going well. I found them boring (just very basic) and bossy (to the point of overbearing). These clashes might make for an epic, balanced relationship, I just never had the patience to stick around and get close enough to find out. I value new ideas and independence too much to get super close to an ESTJ. Never thought about it like this before, but I married an ESFP, who greatly values spontaneity and freedom, which may be what makes us compatible. (Our differences do create other challenges, though).

 

Honestly surprised I have found nothing on ESTJ and INTP relationships on here.

Supposedly, ESTJs and INTPs are compatible types.
As a single guy, I'm trying to find someone compatible with me.
INTPs also match with ENTJs, but good luck trying to find a female one.
But truth told, I don't know much about the ESTJ.

Does anyone have experience with an ESTJxINTP relationship?
What is dating an ESTJ/INTP like?
Where do you FIND ESTJ women? (preferably single)
What are ESTJ hobbies/interests? (Or just your hobbies)

I am an ESTJ and my boyfriend is an INTP 😄😄😄 He is very open minded. He accepted my my every flaws. As a ESTJ i know i tend to get paranoid on things that have not happen. always expect and prepare for the worse case scenario. But I am an optismistic person, INTP is the one that is always reserved I feel. It can always be alternate ways to them. I think most ESTJ are very responsible person, or you can say too responsible? They don't know when does their responsibility end. Sometimes they can be very caring. They are the one that you can always count on to perform a task perfectly. Good employee. My hobby is self learning, reading, swimming, cycling, and watch netflix sometimes. I always feel bad if my time are not spend purposefully. Everything in my life must happen in an organized manner. Even if it stray sometimes, it shall not stray too far. You need to always schedule with me before hand.

 

Honestly surprised I have found nothing on ESTJ and INTP relationships on here.

Supposedly, ESTJs and INTPs are compatible types.
As a single guy, I'm trying to find someone compatible with me.
INTPs also match with ENTJs, but good luck trying to find a female one.
But truth told, I don't know much about the ESTJ.

Does anyone have experience with an ESTJxINTP relationship?
What is dating an ESTJ/INTP like?
Where do you FIND ESTJ women? (preferably single)
What are ESTJ hobbies/interests? (Or just your hobbies)

My mum is an INTP. It is impossible to find the solution in most of our discussions. Im more a facts guy, who always goes with facts, that are undeniable. She is more kind of experience person, that agrees with the facts. After all, we both found a way to understand each other and I love her so much!

 

this kinda bad but ig ive always been attracted to guys who are helpful and caring but this also can be older men cuz it’s that weird dynamic of childlike type we wanna be taken care of and other boys my age weren’t like this a lot, most just wanted to tease me and bully me but I wanted someone who helped me so that’s why I became attached to kinda older guys