[SilentScream]

My current boyfriend has lied to me, although about much smaller things. But to me, even the smallest things are huge. And I take them very personally. Maybe it's made things worse, who knows... He's not the cheating type at all, but I still have some pretty bad moments thinking about what could happen. :/

I'm gonna invert your signature and say that perhaps you're "Creating a reality based on a fantasy." Anything can happen, anything can go wrong - that's the truth in all relationships. But the only thing that keeps people going is optimism in the wake of adversity - and it seems that perhaps you need to be a little more optimistic. The outcome of any relationship can be good or bad - but to assume that it will most likely be bad will continue to put you in situations where the fear of the negative outcome will drive you to as you put yourself sabotage your relationship.

It's not easy to forget the issues and hurts of the past - I know - and now you're seeking validation from a man who's probably incapable of expressing it - but instead will do so through his complete devotion to you - however, only to a point. His devotion will depend on your emotional health. However, enjoy the little moments. Notice the little positives as much as you notice the little negatives. I hope that the good outweighs the bad in the present moment and praise what's good instead - over time that self-praise will translate into optimism which will wash away the paranoia.

Also, perhaps what is missing is a sense of comfort and fortitude. Fortitude in knowing that you'll survive no matter what happens.