I posted it here and not in the other section for Love etc, since I thought NTs would less likely visit that section - or maybe not most level headed NTs ( not in emotional/romantic state ). ** You may move the topic there if necessary **
The story begins. We are classmates until now and I have noticed his interest in me since 1st year (we're on 2nd year, 1st semester now). I say this because I am an INTJ and it comes intuitively based on previous experiences and general observation of people ( I hope not to sound presumptuous, and I won't explain everything I type here like this one.). To back it up, I have seen him staring (sometimes in a sweet way, sometimes in an observant way) at me and glancing at me when I'm in view. I observe him through my periphery ( I don't directly look at his direction but keep an angle where I can see his actions. ) and I hide my trail through extraversion (friendliness to other classmates and being clumsy and silly).
Ever since I recognized this, I decided to brush it off since he wasn't my type and I wasn't interested in his personality. He was very persistent though, he made friends with my common friends and started going with us after class for dinner or just chilling in a cafe for hours. I was aware that he was doing this in pursue of something, since if I am going to speed read him, he is not the person to be doing it normally.
I let things flow, and waited on what extent will he continue doing his pursuit. So I started giving him hints about me, my job, hobbies, and general perception of life. He also shared somethings, like he is into sports and he's the adventurous type of guy who likes travel. I was just surprised when I knew that he stopped his sport and started weight lifting because I mentioned to him I was into gym exercises. We both have pet dogs as well.
He is generally very quiet when I'm with the group and he speaks more when I'm not. I have to open up topics to him on our common grounds just to have a conversation (sometimes I feel it's too serious for him, and repetitive). When he is not seated close to me he gives that look in his eyes like he wants to hug me and just be close to me. Which he was able to do when I became responsive to his eye contact and smiling back at him to let him feel accepted and that mutual feeling of being close with each other. What baffles me is his silence when he sits beside me. Deep inside me I want to hold his hand, hug him, or tell him I want to kiss him, he would just sit there scrolling on his facebook app, and reluctantly facing at me when he speaks.
I'm the type of person who let things naturally unfold, especially when I am not decided to commit to it.
I guess I had the wrong move last week, when on our last class of the week I came in late and there he was seated 3 rows away on my left where he usually sits. He then transferred a row closer where I was, he was giving me his usual excited glances and smiles, during that time I was battling with my emotions and logic - that I didn't want to waste his time or hurt him by letting our lovebird ways go on and then I decide I don't want to be in a relationship with him. So, what I did was just give him a normal glance without the longer than usual eye contact and without the affirming smile. He tried to repeat that 3x until he figured what I meant.
It really hurt me when I saw the colors around him instantly vanish and become gray and pale. His lively posture became sulky and he started projecting on his cellphone. You can really see his heart drop. Middle of the class he decided to go out which he passed by behind me, when he came back I gave a blank stare at him when he was nearing me (to let him know I was aware he's back), he had a smile on his face and he faced me while passing infront of me ( well my head was lying on the desk so most that I saw were his legs and crotch).
I left abruptly after the class, I didn't say goodbye anymore. I myself is too avoidant and would protect my emotions. Later that evening I wanted to undo my actions, so I messaged him asking a nonesense page on a social media. He responded, a bit bland. When we had our class this week, I tapped him on his arm and seated a chair away from him which was unoccupied. He changed alot, he shied away and avoided looking at me. I tried to make him comfortable by getting his attention and obviously staring at him with a smile. He wasn't giving me the same look and smile as before, I was really shocked that he would make that decision too fast and almost close out.
The week is over, he no longer goes out with us. I still see him glancing at me, but I pretend to be oblivious because I wanted him to approach me. I did not ruin our friendship, I am still open to him. I think I disappointed him big time when I did not reciprocate him last week. In my mind, is he willing to waste that 1 year of acquaintance just because of he had that deep impression of me being unsure? I tried to undo it, but what does he want me to do or say to let him know that I am still a friend and he can be open to me.
:blushed: :sad:
The story begins. We are classmates until now and I have noticed his interest in me since 1st year (we're on 2nd year, 1st semester now). I say this because I am an INTJ and it comes intuitively based on previous experiences and general observation of people ( I hope not to sound presumptuous, and I won't explain everything I type here like this one.). To back it up, I have seen him staring (sometimes in a sweet way, sometimes in an observant way) at me and glancing at me when I'm in view. I observe him through my periphery ( I don't directly look at his direction but keep an angle where I can see his actions. ) and I hide my trail through extraversion (friendliness to other classmates and being clumsy and silly).
Ever since I recognized this, I decided to brush it off since he wasn't my type and I wasn't interested in his personality. He was very persistent though, he made friends with my common friends and started going with us after class for dinner or just chilling in a cafe for hours. I was aware that he was doing this in pursue of something, since if I am going to speed read him, he is not the person to be doing it normally.
I let things flow, and waited on what extent will he continue doing his pursuit. So I started giving him hints about me, my job, hobbies, and general perception of life. He also shared somethings, like he is into sports and he's the adventurous type of guy who likes travel. I was just surprised when I knew that he stopped his sport and started weight lifting because I mentioned to him I was into gym exercises. We both have pet dogs as well.
He is generally very quiet when I'm with the group and he speaks more when I'm not. I have to open up topics to him on our common grounds just to have a conversation (sometimes I feel it's too serious for him, and repetitive). When he is not seated close to me he gives that look in his eyes like he wants to hug me and just be close to me. Which he was able to do when I became responsive to his eye contact and smiling back at him to let him feel accepted and that mutual feeling of being close with each other. What baffles me is his silence when he sits beside me. Deep inside me I want to hold his hand, hug him, or tell him I want to kiss him, he would just sit there scrolling on his facebook app, and reluctantly facing at me when he speaks.
I'm the type of person who let things naturally unfold, especially when I am not decided to commit to it.
I guess I had the wrong move last week, when on our last class of the week I came in late and there he was seated 3 rows away on my left where he usually sits. He then transferred a row closer where I was, he was giving me his usual excited glances and smiles, during that time I was battling with my emotions and logic - that I didn't want to waste his time or hurt him by letting our lovebird ways go on and then I decide I don't want to be in a relationship with him. So, what I did was just give him a normal glance without the longer than usual eye contact and without the affirming smile. He tried to repeat that 3x until he figured what I meant.
It really hurt me when I saw the colors around him instantly vanish and become gray and pale. His lively posture became sulky and he started projecting on his cellphone. You can really see his heart drop. Middle of the class he decided to go out which he passed by behind me, when he came back I gave a blank stare at him when he was nearing me (to let him know I was aware he's back), he had a smile on his face and he faced me while passing infront of me ( well my head was lying on the desk so most that I saw were his legs and crotch).
I left abruptly after the class, I didn't say goodbye anymore. I myself is too avoidant and would protect my emotions. Later that evening I wanted to undo my actions, so I messaged him asking a nonesense page on a social media. He responded, a bit bland. When we had our class this week, I tapped him on his arm and seated a chair away from him which was unoccupied. He changed alot, he shied away and avoided looking at me. I tried to make him comfortable by getting his attention and obviously staring at him with a smile. He wasn't giving me the same look and smile as before, I was really shocked that he would make that decision too fast and almost close out.
The week is over, he no longer goes out with us. I still see him glancing at me, but I pretend to be oblivious because I wanted him to approach me. I did not ruin our friendship, I am still open to him. I think I disappointed him big time when I did not reciprocate him last week. In my mind, is he willing to waste that 1 year of acquaintance just because of he had that deep impression of me being unsure? I tried to undo it, but what does he want me to do or say to let him know that I am still a friend and he can be open to me.
:blushed: :sad:
