1. He was very persuasive with me. I turned him down at first as I didn’t want to be in a relationship at that time but in the end, he got me.
2. Cheerful. Good with conversations. Always wants to make me laugh.
3. Articulate and Smart
4. Sweet. Gives me letter and Flowers at first.
5. Has nice body and takes care of his appearance.
6. He likes to solve our problem. He would write it in the paper and find solution.
7. We would talk about our future and he would plan it out. I just listen.
8. He has excel file of his activities and schedules for the next 5years.
9. Good with money but thrifty. He wont give a tip. Must obtain the maximum discount. Won’t buy in full price.
10. He really takes care of me. Usually provide things that are useful to me.
11. He wants to provide experience and not material things for gift.
12. He wanted to keep our relationship private. He won’t tell to anyone until asked if he has a girlfriend. No hints in social media.
13. Likes winning and participating in games.
14. Kinda insincere. He approach people with motive but if your his friend, he trust you all the way.
15. Likes to debate and gets frustrated if I don’t engage.
16. Close minded. But he will listen when he’s calm. You have to find the perfect timing to explain things to him.
17. He thinks he’s always right. That the world will be perfect if all the “people” is him.
18. Scary when mad. He will explode and will say hurtful things.
19. Procrastination. He hasn’t finished his MS for seven years. A lot of alibi..
20. Gives a lot of alibi when questioned.
21. Gets disappointed or mad if I don’t want to have sex. Guilts in every way.
22. Will not say sorry just because he hurt you with his words.
23. Dreaming is a big No. They’re realist. I once dreamed of having 5cars and he got mad and said that I should dream within my means and 5 cars is so impractical.
24. Supper efficient. Good but sometimes I can’t relax or enjoy the moment.
25. Has zero emotional intelligence.

Now. We have broken up. We’ve been together for 3years. He said he wanted for us just to stay friends. We’ve been struggling with our relationship for months now. I feel like he doesn’t enjoy the time with me anymore. It’s hard for him to spend his time with me and I’m really longing for his company. We see eachother twice a month?



Would you guys think he will realize my worth later? I was kind and understanding to him. He knows how much I love him. I’m really hurt and feels lonely.

Lmfao your bf sounds so stereotypically ENTJ, almost a carbon copy of me aside from a few things. Nah hes not gonna realize your worth later, I don't leave people coz I'm stupid or blind, I've already analyzed you and everything you do for the 3 years I'm with you and the conclusion was that my future projection of us doesn't look good, theres DEFINITELY logical reasoning as to why I've decided to break up with you, for there to be recourse, you'd have to identify what it is he overlooked or misunderstood then prove to him that it was wrong, otherwise you have zero chance.

 

I agree with the above statements except with one small thing, which I will mention later. (I'm not ENTJ though!) Usually if ENTJ breaks up with you then you no longer fit into their long term plans. They have recalculated and you are not a priority that will move him in the direction of his goals. I don't think he will realize your worth any time soon.

I would not continue being friends, talking, texting, etc. Because he made his choice. And as you said, he sometimes approaches people with a motive. At best, he needs you to be friends so that he doesn't feel like the bad guy. So as long as you are friends and smiling, he will not have to feel bad for the breakup. At worst, he may be seeing you as a resource. Since you're still "longing for his company." It's not a good position to be in when you're not exactly what he wants, but he's still exactly what you want. Bad dynamic there.

There is a small, tiny fraction of a chance ENTJ will come back later. Years later that is. The reason being that the one you were dating lacked emotional awareness. If through maturity he starts to become more self-aware, it may lead him to develop his emotional intelligence more. Or at the very least work on his angry outbursts. Many of the problems you faced in your relationship won't matter as much. His communication will be better, he will be more in tune with his own emotional needs, and whatever goals he thought you were standing in the way of might already be accomplished. I definitely wouldn't wait for it though.

 

I agree with the above statements except with one small thing, which I will mention later. (I'm not ENTJ though!) Usually if ENTJ breaks up with you then you no longer fit into their long term plans. They have recalculated and you are not a priority that will move him in the direction of his goals. I don't think he will realize your worth any time soon.

I would not continue being friends, talking, texting, etc. Because he made his choice. And as you said, he sometimes approaches people with a motive. At best, he needs you to be friends so that he doesn't feel like the bad guy. So as long as you are friends and smiling, he will not have to feel bad for the breakup. At worst, he may be seeing you as a resource. Since you're still "longing for his company." It's not a good position to be in when you're not exactly what he wants, but he's still exactly what you want. Bad dynamic there.

There is a small, tiny fraction of a chance ENTJ will come back later. Years later that is. The reason being that the one you were dating lacked emotional awareness. If through maturity he starts to become more self-aware, it may lead him to develop his emotional intelligence more. Or at the very least work on his angry outbursts. Many of the problems you faced in your relationship won't matter as much. His communication will be better, he will be more in tune with his own emotional needs, and whatever goals he thought you were standing in the way of might already be accomplished. I definitely wouldn't wait for it though.

I know it sounds logical that this COULD happen but as an ENTJ, I would rather die than go back crawling on all 4s, thats how I view it anyway, it would be far too embarrassing for me to be the one who dumped you only to regret it later, then go back begging u to take me back, that level of incompetence is inexcusable and I'd much rather just accept the punishment for my actions than to look like a pathetic moron and prove to myself that I can't take accountability for my poor decision making. My Fi wouldn't even allow me to try get back with you coz that would imply I'm treating you like trash, first I throw you away then I go back to you when I want you again? Fk that makes me look like shit, I'm better than that and you deserve better. Thats how my Fi would view it anyway.

@Niuwalker
This again, emphasizes the key point that I take my decisions seriously, if I dumped you, I absolutely do not see a future with you for reasons X, Y and Z, those reasons can be shallow or superficial as well so don't assume anything. My greatest advice to you would be that in the future, especially with ENTJs, try resolve issues before the relationship ends, not after, we're not fickle people who "don't know what we want", "go back on our word" or, "can't take accountability for our actions". We are decisive and we dislike indecisiveness.

 

Thank you guys..

I will try not to cling anymore with our relationship. I think its too late now.

1. He doesn’t have good relationship with my Friends. Kinda look down on my family too.
2. I’m very indecisive in life.
3. I wasn’t able to communicate the things I want and our issues.
4. I really don’t have a long term goal.

I also think he met someone else. but its his choice. Hoping that the next girl will understand him and will stand his temper. I think he’s the one needs to prove himself to me.
Breakup sucks…

 

Good luck with everything. I honestly identify with what you said. Maybe you can meet someone who will treat you better.

 

Ah yes, the one that away. Which reminds me, I haven’t eaten poke yet this week..

 

Get that punch card ready!

 

1. He was very persuasive with me. I turned him down at first as I didn’t want to be in a relationship at that time but in the end, he got me.
2. Cheerful. Good with conversations. Always wants to make me laugh.
3. Articulate and Smart
4. Sweet. Gives me letter and Flowers at first.
5. Has nice body and takes care of his appearance.
6. He likes to solve our problem. He would write it in the paper and find solution.
7. We would talk about our future and he would plan it out. I just listen.
8. He has excel file of his activities and schedules for the next 5years.
9. Good with money but thrifty. He wont give a tip. Must obtain the maximum discount. Won’t buy in full price.
10. He really takes care of me. Usually provide things that are useful to me.
11. He wants to provide experience and not material things for gift.
12. He wanted to keep our relationship private. He won’t tell to anyone until asked if he has a girlfriend. No hints in social media.
13. Likes winning and participating in games.
14. Kinda insincere. He approach people with motive but if your his friend, he trust you all the way.
15. Likes to debate and gets frustrated if I don’t engage.
16. Close minded. But he will listen when he’s calm. You have to find the perfect timing to explain things to him.
17. He thinks he’s always right. That the world will be perfect if all the “people” is him.
18. Scary when mad. He will explode and will say hurtful things.
19. Procrastination. He hasn’t finished his MS for seven years. A lot of alibi..
20. Gives a lot of alibi when questioned.
21. Gets disappointed or mad if I don’t want to have sex. Guilts in every way.
22. Will not say sorry just because he hurt you with his words.
23. Dreaming is a big No. They’re realist. I once dreamed of having 5cars and he got mad and said that I should dream within my means and 5 cars is so impractical.
24. Supper efficient. Good but sometimes I can’t relax or enjoy the moment.
25. Has zero emotional intelligence.

Now. We have broken up. We’ve been together for 3years. He said he wanted for us just to stay friends. We’ve been struggling with our relationship for months now. I feel like he doesn’t enjoy the time with me anymore. It’s hard for him to spend his time with me and I’m really longing for his company. We see eachother twice a month?



Would you guys think he will realize my worth later? I was kind and understanding to him. He knows how much I love him. I’m really hurt and feels lonely.

Did he just fall out of love?

 

1. He was very persuasive with me. I turned him down at first as I didn’t want to be in a relationship at that time but in the end, he got me.
2. Cheerful. Good with conversations. Always wants to make me laugh.
3. Articulate and Smart
4. Sweet. Gives me letter and Flowers at first.
5. Has nice body and takes care of his appearance.
6. He likes to solve our problem. He would write it in the paper and find solution.
7. We would talk about our future and he would plan it out. I just listen.
8. He has excel file of his activities and schedules for the next 5years.
9. Good with money but thrifty. He wont give a tip. Must obtain the maximum discount. Won’t buy in full price.
10. He really takes care of me. Usually provide things that are useful to me.
11. He wants to provide experience and not material things for gift.
12. He wanted to keep our relationship private. He won’t tell to anyone until asked if he has a girlfriend. No hints in social media.
13. Likes winning and participating in games.
14. Kinda insincere. He approach people with motive but if your his friend, he trust you all the way.
15. Likes to debate and gets frustrated if I don’t engage.
16. Close minded. But he will listen when he’s calm. You have to find the perfect timing to explain things to him.
17. He thinks he’s always right. That the world will be perfect if all the “people” is him.
18. Scary when mad. He will explode and will say hurtful things.
19. Procrastination. He hasn’t finished his MS for seven years. A lot of alibi..
20. Gives a lot of alibi when questioned.
21. Gets disappointed or mad if I don’t want to have sex. Guilts in every way.
22. Will not say sorry just because he hurt you with his words.
23. Dreaming is a big No. They’re realist. I once dreamed of having 5cars and he got mad and said that I should dream within my means and 5 cars is so impractical.
24. Supper efficient. Good but sometimes I can’t relax or enjoy the moment.
25. Has zero emotional intelligence.

Now. We have broken up. We’ve been together for 3years. He said he wanted for us just to stay friends. We’ve been struggling with our relationship for months now. I feel like he doesn’t enjoy the time with me anymore. It’s hard for him to spend his time with me and I’m really longing for his company. We see eachother twice a month?



Would you guys think he will realize my worth later? I was kind and understanding to him. He knows how much I love him. I’m really hurt and feels lonely.

Sounds like he still needs to mature a bit more. I've noticed that ENTx types tend to be late bloomers. We have tremendous abilities but aren't quite sure how to use them early on.

 

Sounds like he still needs to mature a bit more. I've noticed that ENTx types tend to be late bloomers. We have tremendous abilities but aren't quite sure how to use them early on.

Can you explain? Also I'm not sure I realized you were ENTx

 

You gotta plan for the future whether it comes naturally or not. Or your life will probably be fucked. Those who don't plan are at the mercy of those who do, and the world can be a cruel place. If I didn't know better, OP would have me confusing myself for an ENTJ. Until I got to 8 and 9 and I was like fuck doing that lol.

 

I should’ve never told this guy about Si lmao

 

I think that ENTJs just need some time to realize the value of Si. Early in life you see them working a lot, chasing goals. But later in life, usually at 150 years or so, you can see them mature. They are just laying around, chilling, decomposing peacefully.

 

They just don’t understand what’s like, not to merely drink the coffee, but become it.

 

ehem

 

Oh and another thing. The rich billionaires are getting shat on for making it all the way to adulthood and sometimes middle age without ever having developed Fi or Fe. People are resources to be managed efficiently, Thats why in an ideal situation Fi and Te or Fe and Ti could work together.

As an example, America is probably the most overworked nation compared to other wealthy western nations. Why the fuck would tech bro Elon musk fire 75% of his employees and then force the remaining people to put in 60 hour work weeks with no pay raise? One reason only: the objectification of the human. People are not robots to serve you perfectly on command at all hours of the day. This is literally sociopathic behavior. Not “seen as” tyrannical.

 

Why the fuck would tech bro Elon musk fire 75% of his employees and then force the remaining people to put in 60 hour work weeks with no pay raise? One reason only: the objectification of the human. People are not robots to serve you perfectly on command at all hours of the day. This is literally sociopathic behavior. Not “seen as” tyrannical.

Supply vs demand right? If Elon expects such results and hours, hes obviously gonna need to pay what they deserve otherwise they can jump ship to the next company offering better. If no other company is offering any better then were they overpaid and had it too ez before?

Popularity seems to be what makes money these days, influencers, athletes, content creators, anyone thats able to amass people and get abit from each will easily out earn any doctor, lawyer, engineer etc... Hence why I see it going Fi/Fe. Like imagine out earning doctors, engineers and lawyers just posting feet pics on OnlyFans or streaming yourself eating lunch, can't be Te.

 

She’s good..

 

I just found out he’s cheating. Interesting. He denied it. Said he just relates to her. But he calls her Bb. and said they miss eachother.

 

That's too bad. It must sting a little, but now you have no more reason to be loyal to him at all.

 

On the subject of all of this business/efficiency/burnout talk, ultimately I see ethical values and efficiency as being long-term one and the same. You look at models like Patagonia and see them keeping it small, keeping it ethical, paying their workers really well. Isn't that the point? Money is there to effect changes in our lives and society. In the long term, treating workers poorly causes fewer high value workers to join your company. It also defeats the point.
"I go to work to buy a car so I can go to work to buy a house I don't spend time in" is really similar to "I am ruthless to my employees so I can make money to give back and make the world a better place."
This is all why I've decided on making my business a 501c instead of a Corp. I can pay myself and my workers bomb wages instead of making profits. Ultimately it keeps the integrity of my work intact as well, since a nonprofit can't be sold and shit all over.
TLDR; Well developed sense of efficiency is the same as well developed sense of altruism

 

Idk though because nonprofits eventually start operating the same way as corporations when they get large. Instead of shareholders they have donors, many time corporate donors. And they often use the excuse of being a mission-based charity to pay workers less than their corporate counterparts earn for the same job. So Idk. It just depends on how you run things and what you value and who you have to keep happy.

 

That's kinda, really heartbreaking. I guess you're enough independent to pass this all. 3years isn't that easy.I can accept not being couples anymore but I can't accept cheating ..and it's obvious how many deep connections you went through. Don't blame yourself cause you did nothing wrong, exept being loyal to him. You weren't naive... you just have shown your real self your true you. Who wants to stay, stays. But who doesn't, Finds a away to leave. yourself.and if you think the only way that you can help yourself is cut all the ropes that connected you to him... cut them all.
you can be alone sometimes
but please don't feel alone
I don’t know you.you don't know me either. we only see what our lips say not what our mind thinks about . but I only wanted to help♥︎.


October 14. 2024