[tokyovogue]

Hi everyone! I could just use some advice from fellow ENFPs here!

I love socializing. I'm always out and about but I've been having some problems lately.

Its hard to explain. When I surround myself with people, I'm at my happiest. It energizes me and makes me laugh and smile and yeah! But right now, when I finally do get into social scenarios with large groups of people all I've felt so uncomfortable to the point that I'm always leaving early (very unlike me).

I *think* it could be because I'm going through a huge self-analyzing phase following a break up, and maybe I just can't be around people. But its weird! Being around people is normally how I centre myself.

Its very strange. One-on-one hang outs are awesome, but large groups crush me right now. The worst part is all the people in these groups are people I'm normally happy to be around and joke with! So they all come up to me wanting to catch up and chat and they're SO awesome, but all I can do is stutter and count the minutes until I can escape.

What's up with me?

Anyone? Have you gone through this before? How do I fix it!? Ahhhh!

 

[xleahlovesyoux]

I think I went through this once, I believe. It sounds familiar.
Maybe you should just chill for a bit and only hang out with your bestest friends, one on one. Do other things that make you happy. Take about a week-ish to relax and just think. Talk to people on the phone or text them during the week when you start getting lonely. That's what I would do

 

[tokyovogue]

I think I went through this once, I believe. It sounds familiar.
Maybe you should just chill for a bit and only hang out with your bestest friends, one on one. Do other things that make you happy. Take about a week-ish to relax and just think. Talk to people on the phone or text them during the week when you start getting lonely. That's what I would do

All good suggestions. Maybe I do just need to take a week off or so to just do my own thing and not force myself to do things that normally work for me. Thank you!

 

[Zster]

Oh sure!! I have encountered numerous spells where I simply need to pull back and decompress. You said you just went through a break up. Perhaps your psyche is trying to tell you that it needs some healing time, or maybe you are going through a period of personal growth.

I would not overanalyze it, and suspect that you will be back on your usual social horse in due time.

 

[tokyovogue]

@Zster thanks for the reassurance! I think it is a time of personal growth. I hope I do get back to being social able soon!

I love this forum.

 

[n2freedom]

Hi everyone! I could just use some advice from fellow ENFPs here!

I love socializing. I'm always out and about but I've been having some problems lately.

Its hard to explain. When I surround myself with people, I'm at my happiest. It energizes me and makes me laugh and smile and yeah! But right now, when I finally do get into social scenarios with large groups of people all I've felt so uncomfortable to the point that I'm always leaving early (very unlike me).

I *think* it could be because I'm going through a huge self-analyzing phase following a break up, and maybe I just can't be around people. But its weird! Being around people is normally how I centre myself.

Its very strange. One-on-one hang outs are awesome, but large groups crush me right now. The worst part is all the people in these groups are people I'm normally happy to be around and joke with! So they all come up to me wanting to catch up and chat and they're SO awesome, but all I can do is stutter and count the minutes until I can escape.

What's up with me?

Anyone? Have you gone through this before? How do I fix it!? Ahhhh!

Yep! I can totally relate. As matter of fact in the same space you're in now, I'm kinda of coming out of it because I made some decisions. I tend to shut down when things begin to be too overwhelming for me. It is like I short circuit or something. I think part of it is when I am forced deal with something major that it out of my control.

I don't cope well with the unknown and/or the in between. All I can say is be gentle with your self, acknowledge whatever feelings you may feeling, make peace with them, make a plan of action, dust yourself off and get back to living life enthusiastically.

Normally, I'm good in about a day or so....it just depends on what the catalyst was. I think part of the reason I withdraw is because I need to be able to hear my own voice and I can't handle other people bullshit ways when I'm that mode.

Just know you are not alone...and this too shall pass.....

 

[n2freedom]

@tokyovogue....I forgot about the last part....about how to fix it.

I have found escapism to be the best way for me....probably not the healthiest....but at least it calms my mind. So, I try to help others thru volunteering, learning something new, trying something new, setting a new goal and achieving it, listening to motivational tapes, reading motivational material. I would like to recommend a book entitled "Getting Past Your Breakup" by Susan J Elliott.

She also have some informative articles on her website...

Here is the link...Getting Past Your Past

Hope this helps!

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

ENFP are the most introverted of all extroverts. If you think back you may recall other times you felt like being alone with your thoughts. I withdraw probably 3/7 day in a week. Sometimes it will last little longer, sometimes for an extended period of time. I wouldn't be concerned, its how we stay balanced. It seems to be true with ENFP needing to be centered in order to be healthy. When we withdraw, we're spending time with our center, figuring out our thoughts and emotions . Once we can validate we're happy with what is happening, it makes it easy to come out and start gathering data for our next trip within ...hope this makes sense .

 

[tokyovogue]

@n2freedom I will look into it right now! Thank you! I've started painting again, so that's my current distraction I suppose. My very good friend asked me to do a painting for her a year ago - I got super into it back then and stopped - time to finish it up!

 

[tokyovogue]

Once we can validate we're happy with what is happening, it makes it easy to come out and start gathering data for our next trip within ...hope this makes sense .

Yes it totally does! Thank you.

 

[Eloise]

Actually, right now, I'm having my quiet-don't-touch-me time. I just got back from a huge family gathering. I swear, I'm going to punch the next person who tells me how much I've grown.
It seems like every time I go to a party or soiree or whatever, I need a lot of down time afterwords. I love people, I do, but sometimes they drain us to a point of exhaustion.

 

[n2freedom]

ENFP are the most introverted of all extroverts. If you think back you may recall other times you felt like being alone with your thoughts. I withdraw probably 3/7 day in a week. Sometimes it will last little longer, sometimes for an extended period of time. I wouldn't be concerned, its how we stay balanced. It seems to be true with ENFP needing to be centered in order to be healthy. When we withdraw, we're spending time with our center, figuring out our thoughts and emotions . Once we can validate we're happy with what is happening, it makes it easy to come out and start gathering data for our next trip within ...hope this makes sense .

You must be a ventriloquist or something. I guess I am ENFP after all. I was starting wonder for a minute there. Was your "T" percent and your "F" percent in very close margins of each other. I'm almost a 50/50 split. I wonder if that's why..... Please let me know...

 

[n2freedom]

actually, right now, i'm having my quiet-don't-touch-me time. I just got back from a huge family gathering. I swear, i'm going to punch the next person who tells me how much i've grown.
It seems like every time i go to a party or soiree or whatever, i need a lot of down time afterwords. I love people, i do, but sometimes they drain us to a point of exhaustion.

cha-ching!!!!

@n2freedom I will look into it right now! Thank you! I've started painting again, so that's my current distraction I suppose. My very good friend asked me to do a painting for her a year ago - I got super into it back then and stopped - time to finish it up!

Please let me know what you think Tokyo

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

You must be a ventriloquist or something. I guess I am ENFP after all. I was starting wonder for a minute there. Was your "T" percent and your "F" percent in very close margins of each other. I'm almost a 50/50 split. I wonder if that's why..... Please let me know...

Yes, if i remember correctly i was just about 50/50 on my Te and Fi....i wondered for awhile if i wasn't an ENTP. After doing a lot of research and reading, i know for sure i'm a feeler. I just seem to retreat and need more time alone as an extrovert. It seems the older i get, the more peace and quiet i want. This doesn't mean i don't enjoy extroverted moments, because i do, very much. It just means i've learned how to keep my balance in terms of emotions. I still make some decisions using emotion. I have no regrets, its part of being a feeler, i accept that.

 

[n2freedom]

Yes, if i remember correctly i was just about 50/50 on my Te and Fi....i wondered for awhile if i wasn't an ENTP. After doing a lot of research and reading, i know for sure i'm a feeler. I just seem to retreat and need more time alone as an extrovert. It seems the older i get, the more peace and quiet i want. This doesn't mean i don't enjoy extroverted moments, because i do, very much. It just means i've learned how to keep my balance in terms of emotions. I still make some decisions using emotion. I have no regrets, its part of being a feeler, i accept that.

I guess that why I relate to so many things you are saying. Yes, I too thought I might be ENTP. I did the research on that personality page and realized quickly that I'm feeler as well. I go through cycles of wanting alone time and oftentimes it comes without warning which usually drives those close to be crazy. But, it is what it is. I usually let those close to me know when I'm feeling like I don't want to be bothered.

It only gets tricky when I'm at work and I want people to leave me alone. I am not the main attraction keep everyone entertained 24/7. Anyway, thanks for letting me know.

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

I guess that why I relate to so many things you are saying. Yes, I too thought I might be ENTP. I did the research on that personality page and realized quickly that I'm feeler as well. I go through cycles of wanting alone time and oftentimes it comes without warning which usually drives those close to be crazy. But, it is what it is. I usually let those close to me know when I'm feeling like I don't want to be bothered.

It only gets tricky when I'm at work and I want people to leave me alone. I am not the main attraction keep everyone entertained 24/7. Anyway, thanks for letting me know.

heh, i can identify with all of that, especially the work part. Some days i could be really alive and talkative , other days i just wanted to be left totally alone. People i work with are very confused with my behavior. heh, oh yes i know what you mean with entertainment, the funny thing is everyone wants us to entertain them, they find us interesting, yet bizzare

 

[tokyovogue]

I think I'm about a 60% Feeling 40% Thinking split, so maybe that's why I need alone time too. Orrrr maybe its just an ENFP thing. Either way, all these posts have been super helpful. Sometimes I really feel very alone in the world re: how I think, but this place is really nice for finding like-minded people.

@n2freedom I love the blog you posted. Good reading material to keep me learning AND to keep me from over-analyzing things. Double thanks.