I think Mirage, is, in my experience, a bit more compatible.

Good descriptions, too.

 

I was in a relationship with an ENFP, but it fell apart within a year. Objectively speaking, there were ways we got along well--she was fun, we were both extroverted intuitives (MBTI not socionics), and we had a strong initial draw to each other.

Her maturity (or lack thereof) became a big problem though, and she became manipulative. All in all it's quite possible a mature ENFP and mature INTP would work quite well together, although the Fi user needs to be able to understand the INTP isn't being "cold and detached" because he/she doesn't like the ENFP, but rather because he/she needs alone time. Inversely, the Ti user needs to understand the Fi user is making decisions with his/her heart (values), and this should be respected.

 

Her maturity (or lack thereof) became a big problem though, and she became manipulative. All in all it's quite possible a mature ENFP and mature INTP would work quite well together, although the Fi user needs to be able to understand the INTP isn't being "cold and detached" because he/she doesn't like the ENFP, but rather because he/she needs alone time. Inversely, the Ti user needs to understand the Fi user is making decisions with his/her heart (values), and this should be respected.

That's an unusual ending for an IEE and ILI, though Mirage seems to have a pattern similar to Duality where the beginning stages are a challenge.

Did you know about socionics or the JCFs before the relationship? That may have made a difference, since your Leads, while different, aren't impossible to understand. I found it very helpful to know that they aren't trying to be scattered to be irritating, they are just doing the same thing you're doing, with a different orientation; then, it was much easier to ignore their hyper Ne monologues, because you'd be subconsciously doing that anyway. It's a sense "okay, that's cool, but how does that build on this single idea I was trying to flesh out with you?" that becomes "uh huh" and "right" until you start talking about relationships or the best way to do something, where what they say does coincide with your perspective .

Did you find that this balance never came to fruition?

 

For me semduality has been better. There could other factors that interfere that are not actually a part of the socionics relationship. The IEE and I have often similar interests: psychology, people etc. But that is more of a coincidence, the way I happen to be. But of course the semidual chemistry is also a big part of it.

One also has to remember that in both relationships there are 2 functional pairs that match. base-suggestive and role-ignoring in semiduality, and creative-mobilizing and PoLR-demonstrative in illusionary. An example: Working in any field often involves Te to some extent. With IEE we both have Te weakness, and since they expect Te from the partner I can get irritated. On the other hand: My role: time-intuition is supported in semiduality. With illusionary we have good support of Te so work can be easier. On the other hand: My role is not supported here so Ni is under stress. This ofcourse depends on the specific types, you have to observe this in different environments depending on the type.

Both semiduality and illusionary are common relationships. I think semiduality is a little more common.

 

@Snow , high level of maturity is certainly required. I dated a somewhat immature Te-INTp; very annoying.

For all its faults, there's also something very beautiful about mirage relationships: their demonstrative is your polr and vice versa. When you are anxious and self loathing, it feels very comforting and safe to be with someone who is excellent at what you poor at: yes, they can do well what you do ill even with your greatest efforts but you are rarely condemned for your shortcomings. I'm at a point in my life when I really need good Ti demonstrative and the person who used to give it to me is absent. I do miss her and yet I believe it's necessary that I learn to deal with this myself, without her, but I'm rambling.

While, I do think, INTp/ENFp relationships can work, it does need favourable circumstances to blossom, unlike some more favourable relationships, I think (eg duality, semiduality, even activation).

 

I much prefer my semi-dual (SEI) to my mirage (ILI) personally. I have zero appreciation for Ni and I find it kind of annoying. I find SEIs very pleasant.

 

Haha, no kidding; also Ni-Fi loops -_- ; ESIs and ILIs really irritate me when they become paranoid and project malicious intentions onto others. Sure, I can get why my openness and friendliness (Ne-Fi) irritates them but it's upsetting to be subject to their paranoia >-< . Like I'm not the KGB and you sure as hell as wouldn't be worth my efforts even if I were.

 

For support, empathy, and intellectual rapport-- mirage ...
For work, getting stuff done in life, self-realization-- semi-duality ...


This is how Viktor Gulenko characterizes the purpose of Semi-duality vs. Illusionary (Mirage) relations:

3. Working relations.
This group includes Semi-duality, Direct Request (benefit), Business (look-alike), and Reverse Supervision. Working relations create productive teams of co-workers and collaborators who share a common pragmatic goal and skillfully distribute responsibilities and assignments.

3.1 Light work relations.
Semi-duality - Relations of comfortable business collaboration. In semi-dual pair everything can be discussed and arranged in a way that interests of both partners are respected equally.

...

4. Educational relations.
This group encompasses Mirage, Reverse request (benefit), Kindred, and Direct Supervision relations. They face the issue of accessing the inner world of man, addressing one's moral inquiries and inner sentiments. These relations amplify the axial (evaluative) functions - 1, 4, 6, 7. In these relations the goal is personal growth, offset or strengthening the evaluative criteria of the world and one's place in it.

4.1 Light educational relations.
Mirage – Educational empathy, ability to comfort, optimism. After each collision the bitterness of disappointment eventually gives way to hope for a better future.

...

4. Decelerating-accelerating relations.
...
4.3 Semi-duality - lag by a quarter period, transition from Duality to Extinguishment. Decreasing distance difficulties with adaptation arise because you will have to overcome the opposition of values and tastes. Partner does that which was expected of him but with an obvious delay.

4.1 Mirage - lead by a quarter period, transition from Extinguishment to Duality. Main difficulties with adaptation arise in the beginning, but in the process of getting closer they smooth over. Partner is doing more than you expect from him.

...

Relations of symbiosis:
1. Duality (elementary relation)
2. – Duality = Extinguishment
3. Duality → Extinguishment = Semi-duality
4. Extinguishment → Duality = Mirage or – Semi-duality = Mirage


Thus, Activity is mutual request and Quasi-identity is mutual execution of the request. Similarly, Mirror is supervision/audit of one another, and in Conflict both partners are expecting to be supervised/audited. Business relations are formed as a combination of Superego and Identity (improved Superego), and Kindred relations are combination of same elements but in reverse order (impaired Identity). Extinguishment is "negative" Duality (Duality with opposite sign). Semi-duality is formed as a combination of Duality and Extinguishment (impaired Duality) while Mirage combines same elements in reverse order (improved Extinguishment).

Source: Purpose and Energy Dynamics of Intertype Relations by Gulenko​

The way V. Gulenko describes them "mirage" sounds like a smoother and more pleasant relationship overall. Speaking from personal experience, "mirage" can also be like a pleasant vortex that sucks in both people, turning the initial sense of support and comfort to a feeling of dissatisfaction and even disappointment with oneself. If you are at a stage in life where you're very stressed out by school/work/other commitments and activities, the relaxing effect of Illusionary relations is a nice change. It teaches you to appreciate life, to "stop and smell the roses", to consider things differently on your creative/hidden agenda functions (effect of mirage partner's creative function on your h.a.) After some time, there come a feeling of dissatisfaction, that you haven't accomplished as much as you wanted to accomplish, the absence of any real outcomes and achievement of goals, the waste of time spent in pleasant conversations doing nothing at all. Your mirage partner teaches you, but does not inspire and work with you. Though these relations are intellectually fulfilling, there's not enough teamwork present in these relations and attainment of major goals that makes people feel like they are truly friends or that have that special significant bond with each other. The initial sense of support and comfort that Illusionary relationship has provided gives way to feelings of malaise, uncertainty, and indifference about the whole thing, as well as lowered self-esteem in a sense of feeling oneself capable of accomplishing things - mirage relations slowly erode at it.

Semi-duality, in my experience, keeps both people on their toes. There's no sense of relaxation, comfort, and support no matter what you're talking about - with semi-duals you have to keep moving and keep developing to keep up with them. There is no intellectual fulfillment and adjustment of you hidden agenda by the creative of the other person like it happens in mirage - the semi-dual actually seems to be foolish and goofy on their hidden agenda function. But the goals and attitudes set by the base function are generally appreciated by your semi-dual and likewise you appreciate their general outlook on life.

To summarize, which one is preferable, Semi-duality or Mirage, depends on where you are at in life, and what do you want from the relationship.

 

Depends on a person.
For example:
SLI-Si>>SLI-Te
IEI-Fe>>IEI-Ni

There is supposed to be a barrier to overcome when it comes to semi-duality. Creative and demonstrative do not match.

Although, I know that I have number of SLI fans. Their creative and demonstrative traits put me on the edge and I hurt their Fi when it is not intended.