Just looked at her website page at https://www.anngadd.co.za/2019/06/how-your-enneagram-type-influences-your-sex-life-2/

Here's her suggestion for my type 5 and apparently what she thinks I need to learn as a type 5.

Sex is not a technique to be mastered with study, but a deep awareness of your being connected with another. Sensory, uncensored sex, where you can share your feelings with a trusted partner.

No shit Sherlock. Does she really think that's what I need to learn as a type 5? If so then she's pretty clueless about it.

The rest of the type 5 section on that page sounds like the stereotypical projection I've seen so often. It doesn't describe me in relationships.

I'd suggest reading the type 1 on that page to see if it's worth exploring for you. You never know.

In her Amazon Bio, it sounds like she learned her understanding of the Enneagram from the Enneagram Institute (Russ Hudson). I'm really tired of bumping up against authors and teachers who are just rehashing some school's material. Instead of another reinterpretation or projection of their teaching you may want to just get a book by the source (Wisdom of the Enneagram) if that material appeals to you.

 

No shit Sherlock. Does she really think that's what I need to learn as a type 5? If so then she's pretty clueless about it.

The rest of the type 5 section on that page sounds like the stereotypical projection I've seen so often. It doesn't describe me in relationships.

Besides, sexual matters are very dependent of personal experences and, in my opinion, the dominant instinctual variant and stacking. Sexual 5s won't have the same core sexual behavior of a self-pres 5 and so on. Instincts influence and motivate us at the core of our being, mostly unconsciously and as such must play a big part in sexual intimacy and the type of partner we are attracted to.

 

The advice she gave for 4 was pretty good.

Focus on the here and now.

As an Sx 4w5 I can make sex more 'profound' in my heart and head than it needs to be. Focus on what's in front of you and be in your body.

 

The advice she gave for 4 was pretty good.

Focus on the here and now.

I'll echo that. Low-side fantasy is the enemy of actual, fulfilling relationships. Among other things, at the very least they require your own calm serenity, and thus 'attendance', previously defined by one E author as 'equanimity'. Learning to live without limerence or exalting the other sex may feel like losing a muse, but you'll be safer for it and ironically in a position to live more richly, within a mutual story.... or being able to let go when things fail, bc inevitably things can fail.

 

@Glad

I'd borrow it before I bought it. I'm not willing to believe I need a book to explain sex or the enneagram. Personal experience seems to be what really works best in those realms. It is about connecting with someone on multiple levels: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The specifics of it are, IMHO, unique to the couple doing the coupling.

 

I would totally borrow but it is not available in my country so if I wanna read, I gotta purchase it

 

actually I think she did separate the instincts and she described a difference of the sex and love between the instincts

 

Advice for 6 is crap. Those things are actually real issues and could happen. The advice is basically to forget about all those things, have fun and deal with the consequences later.