Personality Cafe banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,461 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm having some REALLY strange feelings now. I think it's probably a Fi wake-up-call, if that's what you wanna call it.

I just had a huge deja vu of me in 5th grade as a social outcast, weird, awkward, etc... I was a total naturalist; I didn't believe in makeup, certain brands (IE Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister), shitty pop songs, I thought you shouldn't care of what people thought of you, you shouldn't be embarrased by your parents, and I only seeked out friends who understood me who genuinely wanted to be my friend.

Now I feel as if I've given up those ideals without realizing it and I've become more popular, but it doesn't feel right. I think it conflicts with my old ideals but now those old ones are becoming more prevalent when I think deeply about my life. Last year I didn't talk much with my older friends because the more popular ones that popped in my life tried to make me feel accepted as their new friend and yada yada yada.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK!!! Have any of you felt like this?
 

·
QUEEN PEEN
Joined
·
9,303 Posts
My life is such that I am constantly weighing and changing some of my ideals. There are a lot of issues that aren't so black and white, and I'm constantly trying to figure out which ideals are "right" and "wrong." It happens. It's a part of life. That's what makes us all so paradoxical. We're constantly changing and re-evaluating our beliefs as new information is gathered. Figure out what you believe if you can. Sometimes, it takes time to figure things out. There's no rush. Right now, it seems as if you're just re-evaluating, and that's not a bad thing. It's a sign of growth :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,262 Posts
Re-evaluation is an integral skill, and it's what makes ENFPs so hard to pin down and neatly pigeon hole. When I was younger, I was a (to say the least) bullish leftie, with a whole host of idealistic morals. Then I began to moderate my views on the world (or sell out if you're still a bullish leftie :wink:). As long as you know why you're changing your stance on certain issues then you're learning to compromise. Those people who can't compromise with themselves tend to struggle with compromising with others, and it's hell to deal with intractable people.

If I chart the evolution of my principles and values, I believe that my 11 year old self would be horrified, but the present me looks back and chuckles with warmth at my 11 year old self. We never stop growing and developing, whilst what is important to us changes in time too. Whether or not we change for better or worse is a judgment call and one that has no right or wrong answer. The people who will admire your adaptability, your success and your ability to know yourself better will say you are doing well, whilst those who would denigrate it as "forgetting yourself" or "selling out" will say you are doing ill.

Introspection is an exceptional tool, and so too is hindsight. Use them to do the best for you without compromising on your core values (as I doubt you'll have rejigged your outlook so radically as to make malice or male fide manipulation cool).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
143 Posts
I had a similar experience in 6th grade. My sister got me some name-brand jeans for Christmas and I wore them to school. I got a lot of positive comments from other "prep" or popular type kids. It really messed with my developing self-image to the point that I swore off wearing all jeans for the next 15 years or so...

I finally got a pair of jeans a couple years ago when it occurred to me that I was still "being controlled" by not wearing jeans because of that experience, and that I had to just make up my own mind regardless of what others did or did not think.

So there is no right answer, it is not wrong to "be popular" or not really, as long as your new friends are genuine about accepting *you* and not your wardrobe. I have old friends that I don't hang out with anymore, but I still consider them good friends - we could pick up and reconnect again as soon as the right opportunity presents itself.

So I agree, Just go with it without rushing or worrying too much and trust your heart warn you if you're going too far off your values. enjoy the ride in the meantime!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,611 Posts
What @Ace Face said.

I go through something like that nearly every year, so it's probably not just about Fi appearing; it's more about Fi resurfacing or sifting through facts and coming to new conclusions.

You in 5th grade sounds like me in 5th grade. You'd never believe the vitriol with which I hated the Spice Girls (and I think they're kinda fun now).
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top