I know, so many people are like, "why are you looking at me like that?" i guess my eye contact comes off too intense.

 

I love freaking people out by staring at them. Sometimes it's actually not on purpose, though. I'll get to thinking about something and think I'm staring into space but I'm not.

 

I've started to look people in the eyes recently, and boy is it fun.

I still catch myself breaking eye contact for no good reason at times (reflex? I don't get it), but typically try to keep it for as long as I can.

Anyway, to your question; it probably depends on what your face gives away aside from a stare. A blank expression, or annoyed will certainly not help you. Plus, the way you look is somewhat important. Arrogantly, warm, cold - they're things one can pick up on.

What's most important is likely what you'll do within the 3-5s time span after eye contact was established - a stare contest will likely cause more harm than good, especially with so many kids these days being completely and outrageously offended if you dare to glance at their eyes.

Anger management classes are due.

 

+ conversation = win; - conversation = people calling the police.

The ISTP i know did this. It was intense. If I hadn't known him, and didn't clue in that he was interested - I would have run for the hills screaming.

 

You know that a woman could intrested if she keeps eye contact as you talk and regains it when it needs to be broken.

 

Sorry for INTJs "depends" but this would be the best way to describe the kinds of stare, I received from ISTPs. There is nothing special and it looks even warm, if there is slight interest. It becomes dangerous and glassy, if the interest is high. Then I don't know, if they are going to kiss me or hit me or both things one after another. Really, my boyfriend had to explain that he's not going to hit me. The funny thing is that my ISTP collegue thought that I'm harrasing him, when I gave an INTJ glassy stare, while I was simply angry.

I don't think that simply staring is good. There are more ways to interpret the eye contact, when interpreting a smile or a conversation. The stare and genuine smile are definitely better. Plus one can control the response - if there is a smile back or not.


Depends (oops, I said it again). True if you know each other. But this might also be a signal of competition or a friend kind of trust = disqualified, you're my girlfriend. When everything is just starting, the woman would rather look down if you stare for longer = interested, if she looks away or back = not interested.

 

yes, the legendary ISTP stare!!

whenever it has happened to me, the gaze has been intense, a bit shocking in its boldness, and lasts so long that i am left wondering why does he keep looking at me like that? i don't know how to read or interpret your stares.

i am not at all shy about eye contact, so usually i just stare back until they look away (unless they are in such close proximity to me that the stare is exceptionally shocking).

i've known a LOT of ISTPs during the course of my life. like anyone else, if you all are happy and smiling, there's a shine to your eyes, and if you're angry there is a hard coldness to your eyes...but by default there seems to be a somewhat shielded "expressionlessness" in your eyes that is intriguing because i don't know what is behind the stare, and i want to figure it out. i feel like there is a depth of thought and personality hidden beyond those guarded eyes. your "strong and silent" type personality is reflected in your eyes and that mystery can be attractive.

the ISTPs i've known IRL...your (expressionless) stare is not piercing, frightening, or overly invasive...there is interest in the eyes, almost a shining curiosity, sometimes lust or warmth, but generally not softness.

i'd say it could be a good idea to use your stare as long as you follow it up with action that indicates the meaning behind it. otherwise you are just going to leave a confused and DEFINITELY creeped-out horde of women in your wake - quickly answer the question you have raised in her mind by going up and talking to her, smiling at her, indicating clearly your interest. it's seriously creepy if all a guy does is stare.

 

the ISTPs i've known IRL...your (expressionless) stare is not piercing, frightening, or overly invasive...there is interest in the eyes, almost a shining curiosity, sometimes lust or warmth, but generally not softness.

I agree with this. Which is why some ISTPs are stereotypically so good at collecting panties.

I know someone who I am pretty sure is an ISTP now and he can communicate "shut up that was rude/bossy" or "I'm happy to see you" or "I want to fuck you" without saying one word, and it's pretty obvious which one it is by the look in his eyes.

Staring at strange women on park benches reminds of that song "Aqualung" though, and I'm not sure I recommend it, but a confident gaze in a room full of acquaintances, or in a place where women expect to be looked at - like a club or bar - it could be hot.

It really depends. There certainly can be a fine line between "serial killer" and "sexy" and it appears to be the domain mostly of INTJs and ISTPs in my experience.

It also depends on if the woman finds you attractive. If you're not her type, of course it's going to be creepy, but if she thinks you're hot, then she'll think it's a turn on. You can't always predict that, especially not with total strangers.

I've known for the same attention that would be utterly disgusting and unwanted in certain men is very attractive in the right ones.

 

If you start intensely staring at strange women sans conversation the only thing your eyes are going to attract is mace.

 

As someone who has experienced this, I have to agree with everyone else... it's extremely intense. In a good way, to me. I held eye contact for as long as I could and it was like my entire mind went blank during it, and I came out of it completely disoriented. It was really, really powerful.

I think it would be okay if you happened to make eye contact with someone and you held their gaze, and turned it into the famous ISTP stare - that could be totally hot, or at the very least, not creepy. But if you're staring them down and they glance over and you're already doing it, it could be extremely disconcerting.

 

Ahhhh, the famous ISTP stare. This is how I first knew that my current bf was interested. I had a crush on him, but hadn't seen him in a while. Then we both showed up at a work meeting and I could literally feel the weight of his stare on my skin. When I turned, his look was so intense and so focused on me that I wished everyone else would leave the room. Still makes me a little weak in the knees thinking about it. Then it happened several times over the next few days, so I sort of got a clue that he was interested.

But I don't know about using it on total strangers from a park bench. I think if someone I didn't know looked at me like that I'd walk the other way. It really is very intense.

 

 

It makes me happy you don't want to come off as a rapist. However that is what you will seem like.

Why not use your voice instead?

I have had two different ISTP's stare at me like that. I thought they were challenging me, so I stared them down, both had to look away. Later they explained. But if you did it to a FP instead of a TJ you might have different results.

Then again, the body language you'll be using signals CAZY not "hello, I'd like to get to know you."

 

Women may find the ISTP stare mysterious or attractive, but I have the "stare" as well and in my experience, it just intimidates people.

 

Because men/people find such a stare from a woman intimidating...? Well sucks for them --show 'em who's boss, girl!!


Or smile. Maybe. It'll probably creep them out more or soften the expression.

 

Dammit, I'm missing out! Too busy looking into space to look into people's eyes. I remember one's eyes faintly. I'd describe them as gravelly. Or rather, stark. What's intense is that it is so normal for you to look like that.

 

Some ISTPS are better at that "warm ISTP look" than others, not too hard to do though. I suspect it's easy for those who have strong Se but an easy way to achieve it is when in conversation with someone of interest you might have a temptation to smile, don't. Just before your about to smile hold it. Now wander your eyes around a small area of their face, eyes & nose are fine. It's almost as if your pushing your entire facial expression through your eyes.

ESTPS and ESFPs can't pull it off because they're naturally too expressive, you need to be able to hold your emotions back.

 

I think the word "stare" holds a different meaning than does "gaze". The gaze is something I'm very familiar with and adore. It's a meaningful thing.

I don't know if I'd like it if it was a total random stranger, bc I'd have no idea what the motive what behind it having no information on them, but even then I think it might be identifiable, who knows.

I melt at the mysteriousness and no clue-ness of the meaning behind it with my ISTP, I'm usually so good at reading people, but he's hard for me to understand, and it's an instant turn on when he does it. Idk if it's something I could even explain. I don't get it. Magic, perhaps?

 

Huh. Guess I'm an outlier. If anything, I'm most likely to catch myself staring off into space as people are talking to me. A good deal of it has to do with focus. Might sound a bit stupid, but if I'm making eye contact, my brain focuses on looking at the person and I can lose track of what they're saying. To really -listen- I just have to lose focus visually and -listen-.

It's strange, and no doubt interpreted as rude by people who think I'm not paying attention.

I don't remember any particular eye-gazing tricks from my panty collecting days (I'm married, now, and quite retired from that phase of life). Mostly, my method just involved being the dude in the band. Not a great deal more thought or planning involved.

 

It's hard to percieve a gaze from an ISTP as not being a Death Glare.

 

lmao ...

 

When I'm the subject of the Stare, I tend to go "wtf --why" and then suspect that the staring istp male is intrigued or interested in me in some way. It's definitely flattering and interest-provoking, but I don't think that alone would make me brave enough to approach an unfamiliar guy though, no matter how cute he is.

I would suggest finding some pretext to ask the girl some innocent questions and see how she responds from thereon. ISTPs are naturally hilarious; after you hook them with your stare, use your sense of humor to reel them in. Note: Strange guys trying to pick me up from park benches, bookstores or other context-less spaces usually don't succeed with me because for some reason it seems a) desperate and b) annoying when I'm reading/occupied and not trying to be picked up.

It's much easier to flirt when you're supposed to interact with people anyway, such as in a class or in a space where you're professionally dealing with someone. Less risk of outright open rejection too, which is excruciatingly awkward for both parties. If it doesn't go anywhere, you can just pretend the whole flirting thing was just a friendly conversation with a classmate or a barista or whatever, nothing serious.

 

I have always thought that my debate teacher is an ST. And yes, she does have "the gaze." It's uncomfortable sometimes, but I guess you get used to it after a while.

 

If both parties are attracted to eachother eye contact is sexy. *States the obvious*

 

The INFP I am pursuing started crying about a month after I met her because I looked at her. :/

I got plastered at a party and didn't feel like driving, so she took me to her place to sleep. I got under the covers and when she pulled them off my face (I think she was trying to play peek-a-boo...?) I was staring at her. She stood up, walked to her bedroom door and teared up. I felt like a sack of crap. She said that she was confused by my "look." I asked why and she said "I don't know what it means!" and threw a grape at me. wtf.

@DJArendee, the stare does in fact double as a tractor beam and/or death ray, depending on what you are intending to convey of course. I never think that it is intentional for me; I am usually curious, analyzing or focused is all. My friends say that it makes them uncomfortable at times. I still don't think I have a "gaze/stare." Just make sure that you don't stare at people you like but have not yet met. They will think you want to kidnap them and throw em' into a volcano or something.

@madhatter, ISTP females generally are more intimidating than the males in my opinion. I think that most people in western society are not accustomed to a female who is quiet and intense, so it takes them off-guard.

 

The INFP I am pursuing started crying about a month after I met her because I looked at her. :/

I got plastered at a party and didn't feel like driving, so she took me to her place to sleep. I got under the covers and when she pulled them off my face (I think she was trying to play peek-a-boo...?) I was staring at her. She stood up, walked to her bedroom door and teared up. I felt like a sack of crap. She said that she was confused by my "look." I asked why and she said "I don't know what it means!" and threw a grape at me. wtf.

@DJArendee, the stare does in fact double as a tractor beam and/or death ray, depending on what you are intending to convey. I never think that it is intentional for me; I am usually curious, analyzing or focused is all. My friends say that it makes them uncomfortable at times. I still don't think I have a "gaze/stare." Just make sure that you don't stare at people you like but have not yet met. They will think you want to kidnap them and throw em' into a volcano or something.

@madhatter, ISTP females generally are more intimidating than the males in my opinion. I think that most people in western society are not accustomed to a female who is quiet and intense, so it takes them off-guard.

ISTP Females are the fucking shit. Personally, I think the ISTP Female make this forum what it is. It is kind of standard to have a smartass mysterious tough guy male in society, its a given. But a female? What a shock! It really draws both genders to be interested in our ISTP sisters.

I used to work with an ISTP female. My very first thought, I admit, was "yeah this girl is a cold hearted bitch with ice in her veins". She could be a lot of fun to be around. I wasn't intimidated, but she was interesting. All the other males were head over heels for her, it was really amusing to watch them go after her.

 

hell yeah we're the fuckingest shit!

lol

 

I once made a toddler stop crying by making eye contact.
She stopped immediately and gave me a WTF face.
Pretty funny.

 

Tears of joy, right?

 

Beats me.
I thought maybe her mama was beating her or something.

It was at my local supermarket.
I was just picking up some wine coolers for Taco Night.

 

judging by the results of this thread I think i'll keep my eyes facing down in the future

 

@mmmaacca

Okay, what about 'small people'?

 

lol I didnt consider that....hmm maybe down and too the side