[PeasandCarrots]

I read a few times where the ENTP has described the INFJ of having a sorta mask that she puts up in front of others. Along with our wall, it's something ENTPs notice right away and enjoy breaking down. For ENTPs who have experienced this, can you describe this mask we use? And what do you think this mask is hiding?

On a tangent, I believe ENTPs are just as guilty of using masks. I find your use of masks highly entertaining. ; )

 

[autsdraws]

Oh, the INFJ mask is really amusing. You guys have 0 problems, life is great! You try to relate to the people around you while simultaneously absorbing their innermost emotions and secrets and pretending that you're perfectly okay with talking about that reality TV show that they love that you have never even heard of before.
Inside, you guys are internalizing everything and are sad and just want to be alone to go read more prose and poetry and obsess over the weight of life's problems. You're also mad at that one person that you thought might actually be decent and intellectual but actually revealed themselves to be just a common S-type plebeian that you cannot relate to.

Oh, yes my mask is so amusing. People think I'm like an ENFP and then I start arguing with them and they realize that they were very, very wrong.
..It's not something I'm proud of. Contradictory to the popular opinion, I do not like being an asshole at all, and it makes me feel awful. Especially when someone I care about says I've offended them.


And believe it or not, I do have emotions, they just make no sense to me. After all, I don't even have Fi in my function stack, and my Fe is third down. Makes trying to figure out if I like a person or just want to flirt with them a challenge.
But then once I figure it out I don't usually change my mind, so there's that.

 

[Haldir]

@autsdraws You're still holding the mic. The production assisstant would like you to at the very least drop it.

Edit: They enjoy what you have to say, but that shit is expensive.

 

[Tyler_Durden]

It's something like you mumbling "this thing looks like the Nike logo" without a lot of confidence, and all of a sudden we're joking about blue raspberries or Shakespeare vs Sir Mix a Lot or whacheva chevs

 

[AOD III]

Everyone uses masks.

 

[AOD III]

Oh, the INFJ mask is really amusing. You guys have 0 problems, life is great!

First of all, if you'd been through the kinds of things I've been through, you'd know that life *IS* great. All it takes for life to be great is not to be in terrible terrible pain. You need a roof and food and work and family. Everything else is just the waves that come and goes on the beach.

I'm very choosy who I reveal my personal life to because I don't think most people want to hear my negative stuff. I do have particular people that I can go to for support, so it's not like no one knows. I've learned to do this from experience -- in the past I've been too open when I've been hurting, and people started keeping their distance from me. Once burned, twice shy.

 

[Scarlet.Black]

Oh, the INFJ mask is really amusing. You guys have 0 problems, life is great! You try to relate to the people around you while simultaneously absorbing their innermost emotions and secrets and pretending that you're perfectly okay with talking about that reality TV show that they love that you have never even heard of before.
Inside, you guys are internalizing everything and are sad and just want to be alone to go read more prose and poetry and obsess over the weight of life's problems. You're also mad at that one person that you thought might actually be decent and intellectual but actually revealed themselves to be just a common S-type plebeian that you cannot relate to.

Hahahaha.... I can actually indetify with this

 

[iblameyou]

I'm very choosy who I reveal my personal life to because I don't think most people want to hear my negative stuff. I do have particular people that I can go to for support, so it's not like no one knows. I've learned to do this from experience -- in the past I've been too open when I've been hurting, and people started keeping their distance from me. Once burned, twice shy.

Same here. I don't want to deal with judgmental people so I tread carefully until I see this person is safe and I can be myself. But as for the mask, I think the only mask I have on is when meeting people. Sometimes I don't have a mask and people assume I'm mad. It's my neutral face.

 

[AOD III]

Same here. I don't want to deal with judgmental people so I tread carefully until I see this person is safe and I can be myself. But as for the mask, I think the only mask I have on is when meeting people. Sometimes I don't have a mask and people assume I'm mad. It's my neutral face.

Oh, I openly admit I choose to portray a positive persona. I'm all "Good morning!" and "Things are great!" But the thing is, I do mean it. It's a slice of the truth. It may not be all the details, but it's certainly not a lie. I think that when I was younger, and depressed all the time, and people would ask me how I was, I always secretly wanted to tell them how awful things were. But that's just no longer true. Now that I've actually been through some knock down drag out pull your lip over your head pain, I really do mean it when I say "Fine" even when there are some things going wrong.

Have you ever seen the movie Mi Familia? At the very ending of the movie, the couple are reflecting over their life after all the drama with their kids, and saying how good life has been. Then one of them starts to say, Of course maybe it might have been better if... And the other interrupts, and shushes them up. And they agree, yes, life has been good. I think that that's an INFJ me at 55 that I couldn't be at 30.

 

[xdae]

Yeah. That mask where people think you have a bitch face but are actually just pondering something. That mask you hide behind while you smile and nod politely to others instead of speaking your mind. I see it.

As for what's behind it. Your mask is an oyster and you are its pearl. Who wouldn't want to peel open that mask?

 

[SOM]

Oh, the INFJ mask is really amusing. You guys have 0 problems, life is great! You try to relate to the people around you while simultaneously absorbing their innermost emotions and secrets and pretending that you're perfectly okay with talking about that reality TV show that they love that you have never even heard of before.
Inside, you guys are internalizing everything and are sad and just want to be alone to go read more prose and poetry and obsess over the weight of life's problems. You're also mad at that one person that you thought might actually be decent and intellectual but actually revealed themselves to be just a common S-type plebeian that you cannot relate to.

Yep, you got it

 

[SOM]

Yeah. That mask where people think you have a bitch face but are actually just pondering something. That mask you hide behind while you smile and nod politely to others instead of speaking your mind. I see it.

Yep too. And stay away from our shells or we'll bite you...but then again...

 

[Nephilibata]

I mean, I'd say everyone has masks, to some extent. Some just look more 'natural', and some just let it all spill out (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not something I personally am comfortable with). Just speaking for myself, I have times when I accidentally overshare and then I get funny looks, so I just keep it to myself. It's more awkward if I open my mouth too soon too much than when I just keep a polite smile on my face and friendly attitude towards people.

 

[Scarlet.Black]

About the happy face mask: I usually seem very easygoing and I really am very positive. I do feel anxious if I think I am incapable of dealing with the world around me. I don't like being incompetent or saying that aloud. I hate asking any help and I only lean on people I trust a lot. Not getting help when I ask it is like a kick in the face.

But I also know that people don't feel comfortable with very emotional and too open personalities. So in deed my "easygoing nature" is very well planned. It's not that I am afraid that people don't like me - I just don't wanna make them feel uneasy. I am not really afraid of people judging me as much as I feel sorry for them for being so closeminded that they would do that.

But I defenitely think I have some kind of mask. Or should I say that I just chooce when to hold back a little bit. I don't think people really notice that so much since I am quite confident and open these days. I can't really be that cold or reserved since even strange people seems usually be willing to open up to me. I send some ENFJ vibes when I am relax but I am also fast to back off if my good intentions aren't welcome. This sometimes end up people thinking they scared me off.

I do remember my ENTP friend wanting to get me drunk when we were young since she thought I was entertaining when I lost my cool and get nervous and emotional about the stupid things others did when they were drunk... I suppose she thought I had some kind of mask. Now days we have known each other for so long I don't think I wear any mask when I am with her.

 

[iblameyou]

Oh, I openly admit I choose to portray a positive persona. I'm all "Good morning!" and "Things are great!" But the thing is, I do mean it. It's a slice of the truth. It may not be all the details, but it's certainly not a lie. I think that when I was younger, and depressed all the time, and people would ask me how I was, I always secretly wanted to tell them how awful things were. But that's just no longer true. Now that I've actually been through some knock down drag out pull your lip over your head pain, I really do mean it when I say "Fine" even when there are some things going wrong.

Have you ever seen the movie Mi Familia? At the very ending of the movie, the couple are reflecting over their life after all the drama with their kids, and saying how good life has been. Then one of them starts to say, Of course maybe it might have been better if... And the other interrupts, and shushes them up. And they agree, yes, life has been good. I think that that's an INFJ me at 55 that I couldn't be at 30.

No I haven't seen but it does sound interesting. I'll look into it. Thanks for the recommendation.
I try not overshare if that person didn't ask for it, but I do genuinely want to know how people are doing when I ask them "How are you" question.

And it's never too late to change.

Yeah. That mask where people think you have a bitch face but are actually just pondering something. That mask you hide behind while you smile and nod politely to others instead of speaking your mind. I see it.

As for what's behind it. Your mask is an oyster and you are its pearl. Who wouldn't want to peel open that mask?

Yeah, that RBF always get called out by my ExFP friends. Really? I don't need to smile all the time.

 

[Haldir]

Notice how guys are not responding? It's because we're scared as shit. Does that help you?

Edit: Good job running off your biggest advocates.

 

[LoveDragonDon]

By 'mask' do you mean pretending?


If so, I don't think most ENTPs, myself for sure don't pretend that much. Maybe one little bit, but nowhere as bad as some of others certain MBTIs (INFJ, etc)

I will explain more, once you confirm whether that's what you mean.




Helloquizzy call you a 'Freak' https://helloquizzy.okcupid.com/quizzy/results?quizzyid=3076838567116464195&resultid=6

And say this -

Well, well, well. How did someone like you end up with the least common personality type of them all? In a group of 100 Americans, only 0.5 others would be just like you. You really are one of a kind... In fact, I do believe that that's one of the definitions for the word "FREAK."



Freak's not such a bad word to describe you actually.



You are deep, complex, secretive and extremely difficult to understand. If that doesn't scream "Freak!" I don't know what does. No one actually knows the REAL you, do they?



You probably have deep interests in creative expression as well as issues of spirituality and human development.



You've probably even been called a "psychic" before, because of your uncanny knack to understand and "read" people without quite knowing how you do it. Don't fret. You're not actually psychic. That would make you special and you'll never accomplish that.



You're also quite possible the most emotional of them all, so don't take this all too hard. Nevertheless you most definitely have the strangest personality type and that's not necessarily a good thing.

 

[Roman Empire]

Everyone uses masks.

How do you know, and what do you mean by using a mask.

 

[Roman Empire]

Same here. I don't want to deal with judgmental people so I tread carefully until I see this person is safe and I can be myself. But as for the mask, I think the only mask I have on is when meeting people. Sometimes I don't have a mask and people assume I'm mad. It's my neutral face.

Do you consider yourself to be non-judgemental. Calling other people judgmental always pisses me off, because everyone judges each other in one way or another. So calling other people judgmental just have this nasty "Oh I am so holy, never judging anyone, sitting on my high horse"-vibe over it.

 

[iblameyou]

Do you consider yourself to be non-judgemental. Calling other people judgmental always pisses me off, because everyone judges each other in one way or another. So calling other people judgmental just have this nasty "Oh I am so holy, never judging anyone, sitting on my high horse"-vibe over it.

Eh, I have my moments and I'm judgmental about different things. I notice that behavior (calling other people judgmental) is more so with young adults (23 or under) since they're still making that connection. I try to be open as possible but I am more vocal about disagreeing and challenging others with my opinion. Apparently that is judgmental to some people. shrugs