What does it mean be living a sheltered life? I was reading a few articles about it on Google. Is it like not having enough worldly experience and just abiding to beliefs to what your parents have taught you or if your religious? I sometimes think I'm naive when I talk to certain strangers. As a teenager I didn't really go out a lot with people my age and experience things. I'd go to school, do my homework, watch tv then go to bed. I did go to parties. It was mainly family parties. I normally play computers games during the weekend or on friday. Go to the cinema with my family relatives or brother As a child I mainly just grew up with my family and going to church. Only recently, I started going places with people around my age around when I was 18. I'm at University now and where I am is far away from home. It is an interesting experience being away from home. It builds confidence in you makes you have that experience of travelling which will make me want to travel around the world. I wasn't use to clubbing because I wasn't too exposed to it. Wasn't exposed to alcohol either. My parents were worried about me drinking. Whenever I go out, I still need to let them know when I get back. The beginning of my paragraph do I sound like someone who grew up sheltered?
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It probably has more to do with not having done enough "worldly" things than believing what your parents taught you. There's nothing "sheltered" in learning from your parents.
I think most people would attribute your lack of alcohol exposure [and potentially clubbing experience] as a sign of living a "sheltered childhood." Does that mean you had a bad childhood? No. Does that mean your parents were awful people who brainwashed you? No. Does that mean you're an idiot? Of course not.
There's nothing wrong with living a sheltered childhood. It just means you got to enjoy the innocence of youth a little longer than the rest of your peers.
And personally, I think it's nice to have parents that worry for you. I know it can be annoying at times, but parents who truly care for your wellbeing are a rarity.
for example, my last girlfriend parents/grand parents (was adopted and they were her grand parents). They basically showed her no movies. Needless to say, I turned her into a movie buff as I was literally picking my from my movie collection at random because I knew she hadn't even seen 99% of the movies. 99% of the movies you expect people to watch and they haven't. Princess bride, monty python and the holy grail... etc.
Another thing a bad parent does is forbid a minor from doing something. That is like telling the minor "go off and do it without my supervision." Now a smart parent would be like "invite your friends over, have a beer each. That's it though." then you turn into the cool parent who is smarter.
then you have the typical girl who wasn't allowed to do anything and at college has absolute freedom. You can guess what happens. (tons of drinking, sex, drugs etc).
those are some examples of being sheltered. however does that make the person bad? No it doesn't. Overall if you are "sheltered" recognizing it as such and taking everything in moderation is key.
Another thing a bad parent does is forbid a minor from doing something. That is like telling the minor "go off and do it without my supervision." Now a smart parent would be like "invite your friends over, have a beer each. That's it though." then you turn into the cool parent who is smarter.
then you have the typical girl who wasn't allowed to do anything and at college has absolute freedom. You can guess what happens. (tons of drinking, sex, drugs etc).
those are some examples of being sheltered. however does that make the person bad? No it doesn't. Overall if you are "sheltered" recognizing it as such and taking everything in moderation is key.
Yes and no.
Yes, you were sheltered in a good way. No, you weren't "sheltered" in the horribly binding way of some back-woods cult.
If you were sheltered in a really extreme way, then you'd definitely be feeling some culture shock. I grew up in a cult that was very socially isolated and going to university was like moving to a different country. I didn't understand the social norms, catch-phrases, etc. You don't seem to be having to do that.
By definition, being sheltered is what you are not exposed to. I think the most important aspect of being sheltered concerns what elements of Humanity one is not allowed to see. I'll just list a few things that the privileged/sheltered person never really has to deal with that I have noticed in my own life.
-what it means to be poor
-what it means to be anything other than white
-what it means to be female
-what it means to be of a different religion
-what it means to live in a non-European culture
-what it means to live where there are no human rights
-what it means to live where there is no gender equality
-what it means to not have enough to eat
-what it means to not have access to clean water
-what it means to not have access to medical care
If you step back and look at what "Humanity" means within a truly global perspective, what we are is merely a sliver of the big picture. We all then seem guilty of "normalizing the margin." This is an act of passing off one's narrow perspective as normative, but we don't really do this intentionally; it's done out of ignorance. It is simply difficult to see beyond the social constraints that our culture raises in our minds. The worst part about this, I think, is that this makes it more difficult for us to generate compassion for our brothers and sisters around the globe as it gives rises to the idea of "them," which is the most dangerous and destructive word in our language.
-what it means to be poor
-what it means to be anything other than white
-what it means to be female
-what it means to be of a different religion
-what it means to live in a non-European culture
-what it means to live where there are no human rights
-what it means to live where there is no gender equality
-what it means to not have enough to eat
-what it means to not have access to clean water
-what it means to not have access to medical care
If you step back and look at what "Humanity" means within a truly global perspective, what we are is merely a sliver of the big picture. We all then seem guilty of "normalizing the margin." This is an act of passing off one's narrow perspective as normative, but we don't really do this intentionally; it's done out of ignorance. It is simply difficult to see beyond the social constraints that our culture raises in our minds. The worst part about this, I think, is that this makes it more difficult for us to generate compassion for our brothers and sisters around the globe as it gives rises to the idea of "them," which is the most dangerous and destructive word in our language.
I have had this feeling that I might have had a sheltered childhood but generally society defines it as:
1. Not doing what most teenagers are doing stereotypically (partying, alcohol, having sex, etc.). Basically your nerds, future Ivy League students (in most cases) and I guess every kid that isn't a jock or trying to be popular falls under this category.
2. Hasn't had much of an active relationship life (teenage virgin, no relationship, etc.)
3. Hasn't seen the "world" (gone out to bars, interacted with a lot of people, isn't involved in community activities)
You had a sheltered childhood and sheltered teenage years it seems but it isn't as bad as it is made out to be. I mean you avoid a lot of trouble that way and you are young so you do not know any better. I had a similar upbringing and to an extent it has almost forced me to go out of my comfort zone and try things that I would normally not try (haven't done drugs and alcohol and don't plan to). Also sucks to have the teenage virgin label attached to me but ah well that is life.
My advice would be it stop it from bothering you. The blog in my signature gives a lot of advice to men in your shoes and a lot of it is written by dating coaches and guys who have grown out of similar situations. Do not look back, look forward.
1. Not doing what most teenagers are doing stereotypically (partying, alcohol, having sex, etc.). Basically your nerds, future Ivy League students (in most cases) and I guess every kid that isn't a jock or trying to be popular falls under this category.
2. Hasn't had much of an active relationship life (teenage virgin, no relationship, etc.)
3. Hasn't seen the "world" (gone out to bars, interacted with a lot of people, isn't involved in community activities)
You had a sheltered childhood and sheltered teenage years it seems but it isn't as bad as it is made out to be. I mean you avoid a lot of trouble that way and you are young so you do not know any better. I had a similar upbringing and to an extent it has almost forced me to go out of my comfort zone and try things that I would normally not try (haven't done drugs and alcohol and don't plan to). Also sucks to have the teenage virgin label attached to me but ah well that is life.
My advice would be it stop it from bothering you. The blog in my signature gives a lot of advice to men in your shoes and a lot of it is written by dating coaches and guys who have grown out of similar situations. Do not look back, look forward.
I think sheltered is just a loaded word and you have to consider the perspective of the person using it. You can't really, truly, be sheltered or not because there isn't one true definition for the word by the context you're using it. It's a social word and it means different things to different people--I guess if you were to boil it down you would say it means that you had some kind of sheltering by someone.
Sometimes people might mean it in a negative way but you really can't change your upbringing--only what you choose to do in your life.
I think part of the responsibility of being sheltered from harshness is to understand that some people weren't and to try to understand how they take a different perspective than you, not only because of their choice --but also because of things that were not of their choice. And to understand that not everyone had the same options or nurturing that you did.
For example, I was sheltered from sexual abuse by my primary caregiver (sexual abuse perpetrated by my primary caregiver) in my childhood (and adulthood) so I am sheltered in that way. However, my dad did go through a period of time where he sold crank, was addicted to it, and was also incarcerated for a violent offense, so in that way I did not have the same kind of sheltering that someone who's father was IDK, a reliable non-drug addicted father did. But still--consider sheltering to be a blessing and a source for responsibility. The responsibility to make a greater effort to understand others who grew up differently.
Everyone has things to be grateful for in their upbringing and everyone also (hopefully) has some new ideas they would choose to execute in the raising of their children (or hopes and dreams for the benefit of their children).
Sometimes people might mean it in a negative way but you really can't change your upbringing--only what you choose to do in your life.
I think part of the responsibility of being sheltered from harshness is to understand that some people weren't and to try to understand how they take a different perspective than you, not only because of their choice --but also because of things that were not of their choice. And to understand that not everyone had the same options or nurturing that you did.
For example, I was sheltered from sexual abuse by my primary caregiver (sexual abuse perpetrated by my primary caregiver) in my childhood (and adulthood) so I am sheltered in that way. However, my dad did go through a period of time where he sold crank, was addicted to it, and was also incarcerated for a violent offense, so in that way I did not have the same kind of sheltering that someone who's father was IDK, a reliable non-drug addicted father did. But still--consider sheltering to be a blessing and a source for responsibility. The responsibility to make a greater effort to understand others who grew up differently.
Everyone has things to be grateful for in their upbringing and everyone also (hopefully) has some new ideas they would choose to execute in the raising of their children (or hopes and dreams for the benefit of their children).
I agree with a lot of what @meltedsorbet wrote.
Yes, @Tega1, I'd call your upbringing sheltered in many ways. There are good aspects to it, but there are also negative ones. Yes, it protects you from some potential damage from exposure to potentially "bad" situations, but it also prevents you from handling these situations on your own, and thus from becoming a balanced, mature person in these areas. What I've seen often happens to people who were sheltered as kids, is that they tend to either become repressed in these areas, or go completely ballistic once they no longer feel the pressure from their parents (or once they break free).
I believe the best you can do for your kid is to gradually prepare it for life as it matures enough to take on more difficult situations, and to accept the natural differences in a population. Take alcohol: Yes, there are people who have destroyed their lives because of an addiction. On the other hand, most people out there could easily enjoy a beer or a glass of good wine to their dinner with no ill effect at all - in fact, recent studies seem to indicate that moderate drinking (1-2 glasses per day, depending on sex and body mass) is good for the health in adults.
Another thing is that people who grew up in sheltered circumstances and reacted by becoming repressed often are more prone to prejudice against others. They simply see others doing things they grew up viewing as "bad", and then they judge the whole person based on this.
A way of balance and mutual respect is always the best option, if you ask me, and in my opinion, being too protective as a parent is definitely a sign of lack of respect for your children and their own mental capacity.
Yes, @Tega1, I'd call your upbringing sheltered in many ways. There are good aspects to it, but there are also negative ones. Yes, it protects you from some potential damage from exposure to potentially "bad" situations, but it also prevents you from handling these situations on your own, and thus from becoming a balanced, mature person in these areas. What I've seen often happens to people who were sheltered as kids, is that they tend to either become repressed in these areas, or go completely ballistic once they no longer feel the pressure from their parents (or once they break free).
I believe the best you can do for your kid is to gradually prepare it for life as it matures enough to take on more difficult situations, and to accept the natural differences in a population. Take alcohol: Yes, there are people who have destroyed their lives because of an addiction. On the other hand, most people out there could easily enjoy a beer or a glass of good wine to their dinner with no ill effect at all - in fact, recent studies seem to indicate that moderate drinking (1-2 glasses per day, depending on sex and body mass) is good for the health in adults.
Another thing is that people who grew up in sheltered circumstances and reacted by becoming repressed often are more prone to prejudice against others. They simply see others doing things they grew up viewing as "bad", and then they judge the whole person based on this.
A way of balance and mutual respect is always the best option, if you ask me, and in my opinion, being too protective as a parent is definitely a sign of lack of respect for your children and their own mental capacity.
By gaining life experience, basically. This doesn't mean you need to experience everything your parents protected you from, but you need a realistic view on these things. What about it was so bad in their eyes? Are they objectively that bad, or did your parents make subjective moral judgments without getting the facts straight first? Are the consequences likely to be as bad as they told you, or were they blown out of proportion to deter you from trying? And so on.
It's likely you learned some good things, but you might also have gotten some baggage of prejudice, that you'll have to wear down to truly counteract the limitations of your upbringing.
It's likely you learned some good things, but you might also have gotten some baggage of prejudice, that you'll have to wear down to truly counteract the limitations of your upbringing.
From Shakespeare As You Like It:
JAQUES
I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with thee.
ROSALIND
They say you are a melancholy fellow.
JAQUES
I am so; I do love it better than laughing.
ROSALIND
Those that are in extremity of either are abominable fellows and betray themselves to every modern censure worse than drunkards.
JAQUES
Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.
ROSALIND
Why then, 'tis good to be a post.
JAQUES
I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical, nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's, which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry's contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me m a most humorous sadness.
ROSALIND
A traveler! By my faith, you have great reason to be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands to see other men's; then, to have seen much and to have nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands.
JAQUES
Yes, I have gained my experience.
ROSALIND
And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad; and to travel for it too
Experience is not so important as to how you live your life. A lack of experience can easily be remedied by listening to others, reading and learning, or striking out on your own.
JAQUES
I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with thee.
ROSALIND
They say you are a melancholy fellow.
JAQUES
I am so; I do love it better than laughing.
ROSALIND
Those that are in extremity of either are abominable fellows and betray themselves to every modern censure worse than drunkards.
JAQUES
Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.
ROSALIND
Why then, 'tis good to be a post.
JAQUES
I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation, nor the musician's, which is fantastical, nor the courtier's, which is proud, nor the soldier's, which is ambitious, nor the lawyer's, which is politic, nor the lady's, which is nice, nor the lover's, which is all these: but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry's contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me m a most humorous sadness.
ROSALIND
A traveler! By my faith, you have great reason to be sad: I fear you have sold your own lands to see other men's; then, to have seen much and to have nothing, is to have rich eyes and poor hands.
JAQUES
Yes, I have gained my experience.
ROSALIND
And your experience makes you sad: I had rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad; and to travel for it too
Experience is not so important as to how you live your life. A lack of experience can easily be remedied by listening to others, reading and learning, or striking out on your own.
It does'nt sound so much like a "sheltered" life- more like you have a close family and concerned parents. You are counteracting it, you are choosing your path.
Yeah it kinda sounds like a sheltered life. What it means: being kept away from the ugly side of life. It is bad or good? Well I really don't know. There are some good things and some bad things. Just to name one bad side and one good side:
Bad side: If shit gets ugly, you will probably have a much harder time dealing with it that someone who did not have a sheltered life.
Good side: Well I did not have I sheltered life and saw a lot of shit in my short life ( I am 20 ) and to some degree I feel broken so there is that.
It is a subject on which I could talk for hours, but the short version is: it's complicated. There is no short version
Bad side: If shit gets ugly, you will probably have a much harder time dealing with it that someone who did not have a sheltered life.
Good side: Well I did not have I sheltered life and saw a lot of shit in my short life ( I am 20 ) and to some degree I feel broken so there is that.
It is a subject on which I could talk for hours, but the short version is: it's complicated. There is no short version
I think it has more to do with someone's common knowledge or basic understanding of the world than their actual life experiences.
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