I can't really say how this works concretely for Fi types but as a Fe type, I often take that the "people say it is so, then it probably is so, or something close to that at least" type of reasoning for most things. Of course this leads to trouble because people say all kinds of things, but even then, it's an external conflict of values, not an internal one. I also don't really think in terms of "my values", people talk about those here all the time, IRL people don't make statements like that, they either express values or act accordingly... for me, there are just values (generally) that I either share or don't chime with, it's easy to see which values are generally considered the "best" in whichever context and so on...

Fi appears much more harmonious and subtle about values, doesn't bring them up in conversations. Only if you do something that they really don't agree with, you'll notice it. I'm saying, you'll feel it in your skin. They don't like it one bit. I still think they are far more likely to leave your company than try to impose their values on you. Might chastise you in some way though, make you feel like a bad person without ever outright saying it. Establishes friendship by recognizing individual differences/similarities like personal attributes*, creating unique bonds with people.

Fe might not really talk about values either, at least not all the time lol, but they never stop expressing them in some ways. Showing off engagement rings and stuff, it's all Fe. Might be into various causes that have nothing to do with one another, or if they have a bit more Ti might be pretty ideological. Tries to enlighten you about what's good, important and worthwhile in life. Makes friends by recognizing more general differences/similarities ("Oh lol I grew up in Paris too, we have so much in common yadda yadda"), and by sharing emotional experiences, i.e. misery loves company.

* not saying that Fe types don't notice these or enjoy them... but in initial conversation, Fe wants to establish a tone, and it's easier to do that by looking for commonalities instead of trying to immediately pick up what makes this person distinctive. There are exceptions so this is more of a guideline than a rule.

 

I think the charicature of morality difference between Fe and Fi is "ethical respect" vs "congruous esteem". So let's delve into these two a bit:

A Fe-user wants an environmental state that works out for everyone - and this usually means adhering to principles of some sort. Respecting everyone leads to good ethical outcomes; unless someone breaks from the principles. Then you... kinda get 'em for being mean! It tries to be socially very orderly.

A Fi-user wants the best for a specific person, be that themself or people close to them. It's not necessarily selfish... and, well, not using Fi it's sometimes hard to comprehend... but they do what they understand is the best for each individual perspective. Having rights and rules is important because everyone wants to have certain things, like being appreciated, having friends, and such.

My experience has also been that Fi focuses on knowing valuing these things, rather than acting towards getting there as a Fe user would. A Fe user likes to do things for people, whether that's giving advice or aid or another opinion, simply because these sympathetic actions are good and valuable. A Fi user would probably act because they empathize with the other person's position and know how much they need help. Both want to get help when they need it too, reciprocity is important for feeling in general. But the two different function users just hope to get it for different reasons.

 

- I think my values make more sense than the values of other people, and I tend to clash with people on values if they are opposing to mine.
- But at the same time, I don't make a conscious priority on values, as I see them as arbitrary. What matters at the end of the day, is what's functional and what works. My values need to align with reality and real world functionality/utility, if they don't then they're flawed and I will reassess them. (this creates a worry for me, that people can see me as a hypocrite, for shifting values, but I try to ensure that my values align with observable functional reality)
- I love helping people, and I often jump into helping them even if they disagree they need my help. I know I can do things better for them than they can do for themselves.
- I love teaching and transferring information/knowledge in general, and am quite successful at it (have been gathering a lot of people at work for different "classes" on numerous occasions)
- I noticed I have a proclivity to choose sides in a conflict even though I know I should avoid choosing sides as it's ultimately damaging to my personal integrity and freedom. So I'm constantly torn between the instinct to choose and protect a side, and the instinct to maintain my freedom from any side.

Am I using Fi or Fe?

 

Fe - bc your values needs to be aligns with what the reality of the world is and you would reassess them if not - shifting values
You jump into helping others even when they disagree that they needed help and know that you can do things better for them than themselves ( Fe )


Fi would not give advice until asked - whether or not they know or can guess out a situation that is going to happen because they believe nobody can tangle out of their mess or problem besides themselves and that - that individual must see it first - an fi users may ask questions that would help lead a person to finding their own conclusions but they would not tell a person what to do unless asked - mainly because for an fi user - the assumption is nobody understands them better than themselves and often time when an fi users share an experience or something personal - the matter is already done and they’re just opening up , if they need advice they will ask - hence an Fi user may appear defensive when someone give them advice on what to do whether it’s right or wrong - bc they’re not seeking advice they’re opening up

* Fe feels validated if the advice they receive is similar to what they’re sharing and wouldn’t feel as defensive bc external source gives them reassurance

Fe and Fi likes to help others- however Fe have a more immediate approach- fi put self in one place and envision themselves as that person and would help through shared/observe experience if they don’t know then they’ll just listen


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I'll give examples of how I've seen Fi and Fe actually work in people:

-Fe: this person sways a lot in their agreement with perspectives and can see many sides to a situation (often too many sides to somebody with lower Fi). They don't come off as judgmental and dislikes conflict, vibes matter a lot to them and they actively try to keep the environment peaceful by taking actions or saying things to keep the mood flowing. They can understand your POV really well but also understands other POVs really well as well, so don't expect them to choose sides. Combined with Ti, they're going to say a lot of general things that fit world views like "That's how people are" or "The world is going to be like that" to remain objective while still trying to help you out. I would describe them as sympathetic.

-Fi: they can come off as self focused and are going to give you their perspective on your situation. Subjective is a word that comes to mind when thinking of Fi (or any "i" really). So they are going to be what is defined as empathetic. High Fi is going to not seem judgmental or rigid, but they keep those values to themselves unless you're affecting them. Lower Fi is going to be way more rigid and have a "my way or the highway" mentality because of Te as well. They have this independent way of thinking, where they do consider external input, but it doesn't affect them as much as it would affect Fe, and even if their actions do get affected, their way of thinking is still very subjectively linked to their values.

 

Do you focus on your feelings or do you focus on the feelings of people around you? I feel like that's the easiest way to tell.

For like super shallow stereotypes:

I feel like Fe people are more likely to smile at strangers out of habit than Fi is. Not a conscious smile, but almost like a reflex. Fe appears on your face more even before you realize it. Super emotive face and tone of voice is a good sign of Fe. Fi can look unemotional at times even if talking about something emotional. If the emotion on someone's face and tone is always easy to read good chance they are Fe.

Fe- alot of people like this, so it's good.

Fi- I like this, so it's good.

Fe is not personal taste, Fe user will get their personal taste from an introverted function.

 

I don't think any of this is true at all...
Fi people can be very animated and expressive in their tone and facial expressions.

And I'm tired of this 'selfish' versus 'selfless' explanation. Both can be either - end of story.

 

Easy.

Test them in bed.

If the orgasm is louder than a cannon, Fe.
If its like a pause between inhaling and exhaling, Fi.



Hint. Enfjs and a hotel room with other people on the same corridor during day time plus 45min of raw sex = the police will pay you a visit.

 

Fe is interpersonal, Fi is intrapersonal.

 

IF you are a feeler your strongest functions will be Fi & Fe (both). The difference is in what you value more and what you tend to not care much about. If you suck at either, you are probably not a feeler.

Someone with Fi preference looks at how he/she relates to others around themselves. "What is my relationship with X". Values based on such feelings come to mind. (not principles & not "I like muffins")

Someone with Fe preference looks at how others relate to each-other. "What is the relationship between X and Y". Stuff like social convention is Fe related.

A feeler's primary concern is relationships, intrapersonal and interpersonal.

 

I'm very likely not a feeler, but that's why I'm asking about the difference, since thinkers also use F to a lesser degree, and identifying their orientation is harder.

 

Imagine that you and your best friend as well as a few other random people, some you know, some you dont, are in the decision to choose what cinema to go into, you are all into the same group, some of them are good buddies with your best friend. Now, you are being asked what tickets to buy? Meanwhile the popcorn and candy stand also pick your interest in this cinema lounge...

FI: "I will care for what my closest friend think is a good movie, but what these other strangers in the group believe leaves me indifferent..."
FE: "I will care for what my closest friend think is a good movie, but what these other strangers in the group believe leaves me ambivalent..."

Fi is subjective, as in bottom-up, in order of relation towards each individual, "my best individuals has priority..."
FE is objective, as in top-down, in order of relation towards each grouping, "my best groups has priority..."

If using Fe, it is easy to get persuaded to join in when many of the people in the group want to buy a ticket for a specific movie, but if using Fi, its much easier to get persuaded to join in when your best friend want to buy a ticket for a specific movie.

 

For me Fe users (dom/aux) engage with people emotionally. Fi users (dom/aux) tend to be hyperconscious of others' emotions but not looking to change them necessarily. An Fe user will emotionally active and reactive. That's partly how I see it at least.

To put it extremely simply: Fi users will never say the wrong thing (i.e. super conflict avoidant). Fe users will sometimes say the right thing (i.e. create change to better the emotional ecosystem).

Hope this helps.

 

I personally think it's quite obvious and I think Fe can be quite easy to spot in others. Which is more important to you, making sure everyone is comfortable and in a good mood (at the expense of your authenticity) (Fe) or being authentic to yourself all the time with the comfort of others being secondary to that (Fi)? Does it make you more annoyed when people aren't being authentic or when there are people around who aren't being considerate of everyone else? There's your answer.

Your worries exist in the opposite F which can make it more complicated I guess. You are likely to worry about the one you aren't so good at but it won't be your mind's main concern that you naturally snap back to.