Well, I would think an INFJ might be the right kind of guy for me to date. Of course, MBTI-type is only one of many factors when it comes down to relationships, especially for people who aren't so attractive as to be able pick and choose their lovers out of the many. But that's not what this thread is about...

I like INFJs and feelers for the most part, but often I find that in reality they can be too squishy or sensitive to have a healthy relationship with me. Frankly, I'm a forgetful and often brash person. I'm pretty sure I drive my ISFJ roommate crazy when I make messes and totally mean to clean them up but absolutely forget and obviously not feel too sorry about it, though I tell her I am. I did date an INFP once, but quickly into getting to know him I realized he was extremely boring despite being quite deep and caring, because no matter what he actually thought, he would always let people push him over. ALWAYS. This drove me crazy, because I would say something like, "You're stupid" as a joke, and he would just accept it and start saying how he really was dumb. Then I felt terrible about it and always had to hold myself back around him and pet him with compliments when I really just wanted to banter.

I haven't known many INFJs closely, especially not any guys. There is one person at my workplace who I suspect to be an INFJ (and of course I have a huge crush on him) but I don't know him too well. He's a really helpful, nice guy, but at the same time seems to understand me very well, so I don't feel like I have to go explaining what I really meant when things that might offend people come out of my mouth. That's a main reason why I suspect he's INFJ - because of that weird "knowing" I get from him, along with his obvious Fe. I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend, though, so nix that possibility. :crying:

Where do I hang out? Well, I hang out with friends when I do mill around places. Aside from that, I tend to rush around and not see people when I'm out and about. I'm not a high-testing extrovert, but I'm not really an introvert. I watch people and often talk randomly to people about a suggestion or comment after eaves-dropping on their conversation. However, you won't catch me waiting around for someone to talk to. I have often blown by friends on campus simply because I was so involved in my music or where I was going or whatever. I think with ENTPs it always differs where you will find them - it's not like they're all going to like Reggae concerts or something. I'm always the person in class who will talk to people for the sake of a fact I want to say, and I tend not to make friends in classes because I'm not really interested in small talk or really knowing much about these random people.. However, I can get very intense socially when I am interested in someone. It's usually pretty easy for people to tell whether I like them or not, because I don't try too hard to hide it.

Anyways, this was the most discombobulated post ever...

 

I've come to similar conclusion as variableresults but I've never met a live female ENTP. Just now ran a search in a local online database: got plenty of INFJ girls and ZERO ENTP hits :dry:

I've noticed that I tend to attract NTs, though myself I usually fall for NFs. Anyway I once tried dating ENTJ and we remained good friends since. Then there was INTP - that one was a bit awkward because we had good chemistry but not much to talk about (she's a PhD in molecular chemistry for God's sake and talks in formulas :crazy: ). I should keep looking then.

I did date an INFP once, but quickly into getting to know him I realized he was extremely boring despite being quite deep and caring, because no matter what he actually thought, he would always let people push him over. ALWAYS. This drove me crazy, because I would say something like, "You're stupid" as a joke, and he would just accept it and start saying how he really was dumb. Then I felt terrible about it and always had to hold myself back around him and pet him with compliments when I really just wanted to banter.

Well for that matter I never EVER let anyone push me around - you can count on that. Some people had tried that because of my introverted nature and were quite surprised by unexpected results.

 

If you can cope with untidiness, and she can cope with breaking down the walls of your Introversion........fine.

I'm married to an ENFJ and the FJ components cause me to struggle at times. You guys get inexplicably hurt over nothing*, and never let us explain after a row.

* it isn't nothing, of course, just misinterpretation of some chance remark.

There's a lot more to it than that, though, isn't there. background, the physical aspects, value systems, etc etc....

I would have thought that ENTP women would be fairly easy to find, though. Generally the loud ones in the room.

 

As far as I know, I've never met a male INFJ (at least I didn't realize it). I have two good female INFJ friends who share a similar sense of humor and they are more avant-garde like me.

I would think it easy to pick out a loud-mouthed, flirty, blunt, and challenging female ENTP too, but now that I think about it, I don't know another female ENTP. I play sports and like the outdoors and have found many friend-groups doing these activities so if you are sporty or like hiking/climbing, etc., you might spot a female ENTP. She'd be the one cussing and spitting, but somehow still seems attractive ; ). She's usually surrounded by men ... not only because she's a flirt, but because she relates better with men than women most of the time.

And to turn this on to you, where would we find INFJ men? You guys are even harder to find as you are more reserved and tend to stick to the same group of friends (at least my INFJ friends do).

 

That is the challenge, isn't it? Honestly, I think the best place to go looking for INFJ guys would be online. The digital divide gives us enough space to be ourselves without having to worry about what others might think of us in person.

I suspect there may be a great deal of INFJ men in psychology/counseling professions (which makes it somewhat ironic that I work in I.T.). We might be that one guy all alone in the coffee shop reading a book in a shadowy corner, too My ENTP friend in New York pointed out that INFJ guys tend to have this very distinct smile. No teeth, sort of a lopsided "Han Solo" sort of smirk. I'm guilty of that myself, and I've seen pictures of other INFJ guys and gals with that same smile. So you can look for that, too. There are some writers with INFJ traits as well (take a look at Neil Gaiman if you want to see the INFJ "look").

Lucky for me, I do greatly enjoy the outdoors and hiking. I'm just not one to approach someone I don't know without some context, first. I'm certainly more comfortable around people than a lot of INFJ guys, but there's still that I part of me that prefers to be approached. I think younger INFJ guys might be more shy; I personally have managed to scrape together enough confidence to stop giving a damn if someone rejects me

But I will say that shyer INFJ guys definitely want to be approached rather than be the ones approaching. And if they do approach, they will probably exude awkwardness (which can be attractive in it's own way, depending on your point of view).

 

Wanna find a female ENTP? Go where the action is! Try a party or some other large gathering. She'll be the one silently mocking the idiots around her while pretending to be interested :laughing: Just be a really upstanding guy, ie not a sleeze. Express interest, but let her come to you. Because if she's interested, she won't have a problem letting you know.

Hope that helps!

 

Wow. This post is reading my mind. In the past few months since I'm back on the singles scene, I've dated a suspected INFP, an INFJ (now that was a mindf**k - like staring into a mirror) and an ENFP. But I really want to meet an ENTP. All of my best friends are rationalists and I get on with them best, but I have only ever had relationships with idealists, apart from an ESTP, and that was a year and a half of emotional misery. (My long-term ex was an ENFJ. J with J = The Clash. Ouch)

I have one question to ask though: obviously, as an INFJ, I am prone to an emotional hypersensitivity. I can imagine a rationalist/idealist relationship would work well when the rationalist is a man and the idealist is a woman — as obviously, that follows along traditional gender stereotypes. What worries me is that an ENTP female won't be able to make sense of a mushy INFJ. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a walking sop. Indeed, many would mistake me for an INTJ. (Tough exterior. Soft centre). But within the close boundaries of a relationship, I can be very sensitive and hyper-alert to feelings and emotions. Unfortunately, I seem to be a bloody mind reader and can't relax until I know everything is all right. (Damnit, if anybody has a cure for this INFJ madness would they please advise?)

Anyhow, Would this scenario attract or repel a female ENTP? Are there any females ENTPs who can report back on this one?


​

 

Ha, well, I've never dated a male INFJ (and don't really know that many), but my best friend is an INFJ and my boss is one as well. They are DEFINITELY prone to worry and over thinking, but I tend to smack them in the head (friend = literally, boss = figuratively) and say "get over it" or "everything will be fine so shut up" when they reach a point of almost no return. They seem to feel relieved that someone puts things into perspective for them when they've crossed over to the dark side of anxiety. I find that this is the case with most NFs. They worry too much : )

I know some ENTP females prefer feelers over thinkers so you should be able to find some out there. Liontiger will happily vouch for female ENTP + male feeler relationships.

 

"I tend to smack them in the head"
Haha. I love that. Sounds like just what I need.

Leaving aside the nuts idea of going out and about with INFJ written on a t-shirt, there must be a handier way of spotting ENTP females? Are you really the loudest, brashest at parties? You must have some nuanced tell-tale signs?

 

"I tend to smack them in the head"
Haha. I love that. Sounds like just what I need.

Leaving aside the nuts idea of going out and about with INFJ written on a t-shirt, there must be a handier way of spotting ENTP females? Are you really the loudest, brashest at parties? You must have some nuanced tell-tale signs?

I'm actually neither loud nor brash at parties. I'm sociable, but not obnoxiously so. I'm usually the down-to-earth one who's not trying hard to get anyone's attention but managing to get it anyway. In terms of nuances, I wouldn't be able to tell you :/ I don't know enough about other ENTPs to make a generalization.

 

Humanhandz:

You will keep getting offended, and we will have no idea why.
You will leave lots of thoughtful hints to us about how much we mean to you, and we will miss them all because you didn't just come out and say it.
You may think you can read our minds, but you will sometimes be wrong, and sometimes that will be when it matters. Your J will not allow you to admit that there may be another explanation for our behaviour, and this will piss us off mightily.
You will have absolutely no understanding of just how tolerant we are of your moods, just how many times we keep silent, thinking, oh well. it's because of xyz, cut the guy some slack......while in return you call us selfish and manipulative because we stepped on your F, or made some practical decision without considering it.

I am married to ENFJ with the I/E split quite close, I think. The above can be/have all been issues, but we rub along. When it's good, it's very very good and that is most of the time, but we don't disagree constructively.

 

Your J will not allow you to admit that there may be another explanation for our behaviour, and this will piss us off mightily.

This definitely happens with my INFJ friend. She's so stubborn about what she thinks makes me tick.

 

*peeks into thread*

 

welcome and join in...

 

I would randomly visit a local fire station to test my blood pressure. A girl volunteered there who I found attractive. After speaking to her a few times I asked her out. She was about 12yrs younger than me. It didn't work out for obvious reasons.

The moral of this story is: sometimes we'll surprise you....and be sure to verify that she's at least 18.

 

Interestingly enough I have always wanted to be a counselor but also myself am in IT, i think it might have to do with the logical aspect of thinking along with the definitive there IS a solution to anything its just a matter of being determined to find it.

Also the "smirk" comment, never heard that before but that is SO spot on as I almost NEVER smile big its always the closed mouth side smirk....

 

Do any of you ENTP females consider yourself to be sadists?

 

like liontiger i enjoy teasing my friends but it's never done in a mean spirit.

How to spot an ENTP female:
All ENTP women I know are quite popular with guys. They are good looking but not in a controlled way ie. don't have fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake boobs or a size 0 body. Another thing is they have an aura of mystery around them. They show their humor and intelligence and can even seem scary and unattainable to some. Talkative, different, strong, opinionated and independent.

Where to spot an ENTP female:
I don't think you'll have much luck finding your ENTPs online. Though good luck for that if it happens :wink:
We like to grow and develop so go anywhere you can learn and experience new things. Scuba-diving courses, meditation centers, art galleries, theatre festivals, alternative new age therapies and non-mainstream cultural inspirations be it movies or concerts.

nice one. and yeah you're likely to find us anywhere.

 

Not me, why do you ask?

 

I wouldn't say I'm a sadist. I occassionally like to tease my friends for jollies, but it's all good-natured and I don't hurt them in any way.

 

How to spot an ENTP female:
All ENTP women I know are quite popular with guys. They are good looking but not in a controlled way ie. don't have fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake boobs or a size 0 body. Another thing is they have an aura of mystery around them. They show their humor and intelligence and can even seem scary and unattainable to some. Talkative, different, strong, opinionated and independent.

Where to spot an ENTP female:
I don't think you'll have much luck finding your ENTPs online. Though good luck for that if it happens :wink:
We like to grow and develop so go anywhere you can learn and experience new things. Scuba-diving courses, meditation centers, art galleries, theatre festivals, alternative new age therapies and non-mainstream cultural inspirations be it movies or concerts.

 

I was googling something and spotted this thread. So I'm going to jump on over from ENTP . org and intrude to add another ENTP female's opinion to this momentous thread:



I would like to say on that one that I have dyed my hair partially bright red and have a size 1 body. does that make me a false ENTP? I haven't met any other ENTP females to know. Well I probably have. And I probably disliked them as much as the INTP female I met. I usually avoid the whole girl-catfight-for superiority thing by sticking to the guys. With NT girls I'm forced to face my adversaries who also don't give a damn about combing their hair and I can't be just "one of the guys" anymore.

although I definitely scare off plenty of guys in the relationship department (everything else seems to go fine though, plenty of male friends and etc...practically no female friends). Wouldn't say I'm popular or really have a sense of mystery... I generally am upfront and too into going against the curve and coming up with alternative plans just to throw people off... keeps me from ever attaining that popular with guys status. Despite being built like a twig, I still posses an aura of a strong, different, opinionated, and independent woman. It's scary to a lot of guys. Sometimes it can be fun to be scary (coming from a 7w8)...

definitely true on the new experiences. I always jump on new opportunities in a variety of areas. I picked up capoeira a few months ago after seeing a demonstration. Trying the bongo drum on a whim. Considering learning some absolutely useless language just to amuse people at parties. I travel a lot. Used to ride horses. Run. Draw cartoons. The impulsiveness is a little taxing on people, but I tend to know of ALL the alternative underground events going on in my 'hood... I'll go even when I can't convince others to bike the 8 miles at night to get there. I have a lot of fun.

Do any of you ENTP females consider yourself to be sadists?

Not really. I do enjoy teasing my friends. Particularly the guys. Lots of verbal abuse ensues whenever I'm around any group for more than a few minutes. I can fend off packs of up to 5 with my mouth, smiling the entire time. It's an acquired ENTP trait.

ENTP reporting back:
I used to be tougher and went for the T-types but as I've grown more mellow and started to really appreciate the feeler in me I've changed dramatically (within a year or so). Now I find sensitivity and developed emotional abilities extremely intriguing. So it's a big plus for me but obviously only after this period of soul-searching and inner development.

I'm starting to get interested in INFJs here

I met an INFJ guy a few months ago. Very intriguing fellow. But I don't think the whole sensitive thing is going to work for me. I was with an ENFP already, and, well, it makes me even more cold and rational to make up for the NFness than is best for me.
I prefer my own type. But alas, not many of those to be found, either, who don't have their heads up their asses (how they can ever fit that massive thing up there beats me).

If ENTP girls like you, you'll probably know. We can come on a bit too strong sometimes. And we don't like not getting what we want. Although I have found myself not to be the life of the party as much as ENTJs and ENTP males... I tend to withdraw a little bit in the presence of other extroverts (particularly drunken ones) and take up the slack around introverts - I mind my own business until interesting conversations or debates ensue. Or until people are drunk/high/etc enough that I can get them debating the meaning of life and to tell me all of their secrets. I do like some social gatherings (raves!). If you really want to find ENTP chicks... check out hashing or critical mass, alternative music festivals, wherever potheads hang out (hey admittedly there are a lot of ENTP potheads. same goes for the girls). we like beating social norms and having a good time while doing it, not following standard procedures (or sometimes laws), general debauchery...
or go to court (speeding ticket maybe?). a lot of entp lawyers from what I hear.

My best wishes to all those of you who attempt to find and keep an ENTP female. We are wild and awesome and it takes a special someone to keep up with us and tame our wild hearts; tolerate our absurd uniqueness... but we are totally worth it!!! :laughing:

 

Great advice here thanks. I'm on the quest for my Entp lady.

 

dream come true. no kidding.

when i'm out i'm usually with friends, storehopping. good luck there, innie.

 

To me, ENTP + INFJ doesn't seem ideal at all. Maybe it is just the ENTP's I have known. On paper it does not look good to me neither. :bored:

 

On paper, it doesn't look good to me either :/

Liontiger, I thought ENFPs wanted to settle a lot... there are a couple I know that wanted to get married really early. not sure if thats with a lot of them though..

I have a few ENFP friends who don't want to settle because they're afraid of losing their independence. Then again, they're really young and have other issues as well... I just assumed based on what I've read on dominant Ne.

 

I find it depends on the INFJ. I can't be with a whiny INFJ. They drive me batshit crazy, but there are some pretty tough INFJs. Those are awesome Jessica Rabbit types.

 

Agreed (ten characters)

 

Apparently, INFJ is my ideal type.
Which sucks because I think they're the rarest type there is.

It's like, hey! the perfect person for you might still be out there... if we haven't run out of our supplies.

And although the two may not sound ideal, when the two commit to one another, it's like fireworks.

 

Four questions that should tell you if you're a good match or not...

1. Are you willing to do most of the housework?

2. Can you take all of the ENTP's jokes, no matter how embarrassing or cruel they may be?

3. Are you willing to travel and go out to many exciting, crowded places?

4. Do you mind the woman being dominant?

If you can honestly answer yes to all the questions, you will be good with an ENTP female.
Here is my explainations on each question:
1. ENTP's are very lazy. We are good at sitting around and doing basically nothing and still occupying our self. I, as an ENTP woman, absolutely hate housework. If I do any housework at all, it is usually a half job unless I'm having my "cleaning spells" where I will clean all day and not do anything for 5-8 months.

2. ENTP's are the jokers in life. We find many cruel things funny. We don't notice if we hurt someone and we hate it when we do. A lot of times when we hurt someone, we will try not to do it again but occasionally we slip.

3. I love crowded, exciting, new places and I'm sure most female ENTP's do too.

4. I as an ENTP female have a dominant relationship with my boyfriend. I want someone who is strong enough to stand on their own two feet and able to hold me when I'm sad (ugh feeler moment). An ENTP female may not be dominating in private, but she will probably tend to be more dominating in social situations (which is great when you're an introvert =] ).

 

1: House Work -- I do plenty, but not as often as some. I'm willing to be 50/50 as long as someone doesn't pester me to do it, then it will take a very, very long time to get done : ) The INFJ female that I know has a similar cleaning ethic as I do so we were fine when we roomed together.

2: Sinister Sense of Humor -- Again, my INFJ friend had a similar sense of dark humor. I still piss her off sometimes, but generally she is on the same page.

3: Travel and Excitement is a must (at least the travel part)

4: I'm not dominant unless you let me be and that's boring : ) I like 50/50.

 

5'7 - 5'9...wow, be a little more flexible, buddy. My female height preference is 5'9 and shorter. I'm not too picky.

So, what does an ENTP female look/act like, anyway?

 

http://personalitycafe.com/myers-briggs-forum/11001-self-esteem-boost-needed-entp-female.html

 

We're all gorgeous. DUH.

 

I'm in a fairly unique situation. I'm what I would consider to be a mature INFJ -- I certainly suffer all the sensitivities of the type, but if I do, you're certainly not going to know about it. Outwardly I try to be caring, forthright, and behave with integrity to the best of my ability.

In a class in college three years ago, a young ENTP girl (I know this as we took the test together) introduced herself and we had three months of what I thought would be a great long-term relationship. Then, out of nowhere she told me she wanted to start dating another guy. Needless to say, my heart was on a skewer. Suffered a lot of nights over that one, but bit it back. She continued to be a close friend over all this time.

Recently, I mentioned to her that I was considering moving to another city, and after telling her this, she started acting differently in small ways that INFJ's pick up on -- namely oscillating between letting me in then shutting me out. I go get coffee with her and call her out on it. She then starts to tear up and says that she's loved me deeply for the past two years, but didn't know how to tell me because she knew she hurt me and couldn't build up the courage to say as much again. For the record, in all of our time knowing one another, I have never seen her cry.

She is incredibly beautiful -- men pursue her relentlessly, but more important to me than that, I believe her to be a good person. All sounds wonderful, except for some reason my INFJ danger-sense is screaming at me. At 27, I'm starting to look down the road of settling. She is 21 now. I have this odd sense that she doesn't really know what she wants yet. That maybe, somehow in my being stoically unattainable but kind and consistent over the past few years, obsession might be at the root of this rather than a genuine healthy love.

I wanted to ask the ENTP females here: what would this type of admission mean if you made it? Honestly, I feel a bit lost. It was an enormous surprise to be sure.

 

Exit, your situation is difficult to judge, since personality types are not the only factor that goes into a person's actions and feelings. The advice I can give you is based solely off of myself, as a female ENTP. This, of course, includes some of my quirks that may not necessarily be typical, so take my words with a grain of salt. Basically, I'm just going to explain to you how I work, in hopes that it provides a decent image of how your ENTP works.

Her sudden outpouring of emotions could mean one of two things:

1. She seriously has loved you for all these years. We ENTPs suck at expressing affection, and that problem is only magnified when we're afraid that our emotional expression might not be well-received. From what you're saying, this could definitely be the case, since she hurt you in the past and would have thus been afraid that you'd attack her because of the previous injury; so, she kept her mouth shut. Understandable.

2. She hasn't really loved you for all these years, but she's convinced herself that she has because of the sudden threat of losing you. (Note that her consciously lying is not one of the options.) ENTPs can rationalize pretty much anything, so when you told her you were leaving, it could well be that she suddenly felt a case of "don't-know-what-you've-got-'til-it's-gone," freaked out, and subsequently said something that she figured would not only explain (to herself) her sudden panic, but also possibly change the course of your actions. We ENTPs are so sneaky, we sometimes fool ourselves....Well, I do, anyway. Again, I'm afraid I may be expressing atypical behavior, but, then again, perhaps not.

Outside of that, I feel the need to add more advice, given that I have been in a serious relationship with an INFJ before. Your type has a tendency to bring out my most irrational side, so, in dealing with you guys, I tend to express deeper emotions than I may actually feel and say things that aren't always 100% true, but I convince myself that they are, because I know that, in saying such things, I will be more likely to get the reaction I want. (Later I realize the error of my words, but you'd never convince me at the time.)

But what is it from you that I (or, rather, we ENTPs) seek to hold onto, you ask? None other than the selective but intense devotion for which you INFJs are known. ENTPs have egos, you know - we like that seemingly unconditional love, and we like that we feel special for being the one you choose. So, if there's a threat of losing it - you know, like we've become unworthy of your selective affections...yeesh. Not a fun thought. So, for me, at least, even if I don't have incredibly strong feelings, I may express them because I like having your affections - does that make sense?

In the end, I would honestly just ask her. I know I would welcome such an opportunity to sort through confusing emotions, which I'm certain she's having right now. ENTPs like bluntness, so if you just sit down with her and openly discuss all of the issues, she will appreciate it mightily, and the air would certainly be clearer. I know, from my INFJ experiences, that this is might be hard for you, but it really would work.

I don't know if I've helped at all; I'm just providing a possible perspective that might resemble hers. Hopefully you can decipher my ramblings.

 

Totally only speaking for myself here!
Situations that attract me:

Invite me, make me feel improtant/special (I like being the centre of attention!), but at the very least include me
Make time for one on one conversation and during it listen to me, give me positive feedback, I may interupt (and you can call me on it!) but try not to interupt
talk deep with me, banter wtih me about religion, but have a real position and dont take arguing personaly
Clarity in your needs. Flat out tell me.. dont make me chase you or expect me to act on something you haven't said to me.
Say it to me again when you have my full attention so I hear it.
Tell me again later after Ive screwed up again.

Situations that repell me:

Being humiliated or embarassed, I dont mind being wrong but I do mind being laughed at (even if I act ok)
Having an emotional/personal argument with me in public. This is embarassing and Ill feel you don't care/respect me.
Being ignored/snubbed.

On the other hand most people would have these things in common so maybe not that helpful!