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[Enneagram Type 9]
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#21 ·
hornet said:
Take a shower? Man I dunno if I'm ready for such heavy burdens today. :bored:
I took a shower today, but I think I stared at that shower for like 5 minutes, before jumping in.
Tried to imagine how much hassle it would be doing it,
and how much less hassle it would be to just drop it and play LoL.
Click to expand...
haha, sadly... yea.
Irony is that they really start to whine about it then which just makes the task seem even more burdensome. :p

This captures my thought about everything, hah: "Tried to imagine how much hassle it would be doing it,
and how much less hassle it would be to just drop it and play LoL."
 
#22 ·
Acerbusvenator said:
haha, sadly... yea.
Irony is that they really start to whine about it then which just makes the task seem even more burdensome. :p

This captures my thought about everything, hah: "Tried to imagine how much hassle it would be doing it,
and how much less hassle it would be to just drop it and play LoL."
Click to expand...
Yeah the expectance of bother is a sure putoff.
It has to be in secret. Stealth is of the essence. ;)
Now I have a bit of experience building a certain level of conflict tolerance.
But it doesn't help much when the opposition lives for conflict and seek it out every day as a sort of kick.

I wish I had a magic formula on this stuff, but I don't.
All I know is that each persons situation and resources is different.
Every thing I say comes from a frame of having certain things and skills.
And navigating with certain maps.
It doesn't help to say "jump in your car and go", when they don't have a car or the gps who tells you where to go.
 
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#23 ·
hornet said:
Yeah the expectance of bother is a sure putoff.
It has to be in secret. Stealth is of the essence. ;)
Now I have a bit of experience building a certain level of conflict tolerance.
But it doesn't help much when the opposition lives for conflict and seek it out every day as a sort of kick.

I wish I had a magic formula on this stuff, but I don't.
All I know is that each persons situation and resources is different.
Every thing I say comes from a frame of having certain things and skills.
And navigating with certain maps.
It doesn't help to say "jump in your car and go", when they don't have a car or the gps who tells you where to go.
Click to expand...
Yea... my mother loves fights, but can't handle when the other party is winning the argument.
My sister loves fights and doesn't understand when she doesn't have a point. :p

Not to talk down on my sister too much tho, she's a really great person. She just happens to be unhealthy (like me, but less).
 
#24 ·
@Acerbusvenator
You say your sister is a 3.
How do you differentiate between a 3 and a 9.
And what is the difference between a healthy 9 and a 3?
You seem to know a bit about the Enneagram.
I lack in understanding in that department.
 
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#25 ·
hornet said:
@Acerbusvenator
You say your sister is a 3.
How do you differentiate between a 3 and a 9.
And what is the difference between a healthy 9 and a 3?
You seem to know a bit about the Enneagram.
I lack in understanding in that department.
Click to expand...
I don't actually, but our mother is extremely unhealthy and she did a good job of doing her own damage to us both.
The goal of enneagram 3 is to be successful (as their nickname says) as they fear failing; being unsuccessful.

In the description by @timeless it says this about enneagram 3:
Basic Drive: To be successful
Basic Fear: Worthlessness
Basic Desire: Value to Others

Enneagram 9 however:
Basic Drive: Peace
Basic Fear: Loss and Annihilation
Basic Desire: Stability and Peace of Mind


By this it was quite easy to determine my sister as an enneagram 3. Basically due to her high need to be successful (she goes through a light depression whenever she hits a bump in her success trip) but since she is unhealthy, she has a tendency to project that on everyone else by pushing them to try and be more successful (part of why I identified as a 9 is because that stresses me up like hell and brings me towards a light panic).

I think that you always need to look at the core of the type, no matter if they are healthy or not. A healthy 9 might have integrated more towards 3, but they'd still have the need to feel at peace inside. Take away the peace and the enneagram 9 will become distressed no matter if the person is healthy or not. Just like an enneagram 3 would be really hit hard if they became jobless and no one wanted them (whereas a 9 would likely retreat into the comfort of their minds in that situation).

I think a healthy 3 needs to be successful, but accepts that failure is a part of life (and gives them experience to become more successful etc.).
A 9 however likely realizes that you can do and achieve a lot without losing the peace inside (as we said earlier, doing things that could be good for us could seem like more of a burden than sitting alone in our room and playing a game. An integrated 9 would likely lose or break through that wall of "it's too much of a burden" and just do it).

As far as I know, it seems like 9s are the "all play, no work" people whereas the 3s are the "all work, no play" people and they need to realize that the other component is just as important for a good life. In the videos that @Promethea posted (love your new avatar) this of enneagram 3 stuck with me (all of those people seem to be kinda religious about the enneagram so I take what they say in the videos lightly):

I am not completely certain of my own type, but enneagram 3s love to compete and it is the achilles heel for me because I just end up getting mean when I get competative and then I withdraw because I don't want to be mean or because I felt bad about it.

Anyways, being forced to go now. :wink:
 
#26 ·
This is interesting.
I think that if we take the levels of health.

http://personalitycafe.com/type-9-forum-peacemaker/39226-enneatype-9-wings.html

serene exuberance
receptive sensuality
imaginative synthesis

conventional compliance
habitual complacence
indolent resignation

obstinate neglect
helpless amnesia
catatonic vacancy

I think I'm at conventional compliance most of the time.
Sometimes going up to imaginative synthesis, and sometime going down to habitual compliance.
Indolent resignation is under stress and massive stress put me in obstinate neglect.
Helpless anaemia I can remember, but it is not something I experience any more.
I may get in receptive sensuality when everything is going my way.

From your 3 vs 9 description I see that I'm much more on the peace end of the bargain.
Sure I have goals that I push, but I feel the need to stress down and retreat from all the acting.
From the looks of it a 3 would feel the need to act all the time, peace would be stress.
Turn everything into a competition?
I hate when people have to do that. Like dude chill out.
We don't have to compete for who gets first to X and then who does Y fastest.
Who cares??? :-/
 
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#27 ·
A job is just a job to me. As long as I can tolerate it and it provides the pay that I need it to, that's all that matters to me. It's a necessary evil, unfortunately. I'd rather not bother with one, but what can ya do if you're not born rich? :tongue:
 
#29 ·
hornet said:
Take a shower? Man I dunno if I'm ready for such heavy burdens today. :bored:
I took a shower today, but I think I stared at that shower for like 5 minutes, before jumping in.
Tried to imagine how much hassle it would be doing it,
and how much less hassle it would be to just drop it and play LoL.
Click to expand...
Oh man, i can relate to this too much. Literally the last year for me (a gap year) has been struggling to pull myself away from gaming long enough to work on something useful. That being said i feel i really needed it as my undergrad had me really burnt out, and i feel i was somewhat disintegrating to 6 by the end.

But, with regards to the original topic, i honestly feel that the career choices listed were far to narrow. In my opinion, nines can get and hold any job they want as long especially if it relates to their natural gifts. For example a nine SP should be able to be an actor, musician or even politician; just look at Reagan.

In a big way, a lot of this relates to mbti as well. Personally being an nfp, i find i get bored easily and dislike repetitive work. So, im looking into the design fields now. That being said i used to want to be an economist or even banker/investor - ironic because it claims we cant do that.

Really though i think most of us are capable of getting in touch with some deeper ambition if we manage to find a career that we can actually get excited about, feel proud at getting capable at. I dont think we should limit our career choices simply because we get lazy once in awhile. There is for sure something more out there if you're willing to keep an open mind.
 
#30 ·
I was in the helping professions but now I'm retired. Man o man... I love not working.
 
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#32 ·

When you ask a young nine what they want to be when they grow up, he may give you an answer like, “myself” or “I don’t care.” Don’t be surprised. Nines often aren’t “career” oriented, especially at younger ages.
Click to expand...

SO true of me. I've never been really fired up about any specific career or field. For a while I wanted to be an animal vet, until I realized I didn't like the medical aspect as much as interacting with animals and caring for them. After that I never had any clear idea of what I wanted to do.

Compare this to my friend, who decided at age 12 she wanted to be a doctor in the diabetes research field so she could hopefully cure it. She never seemed to waver from that and is now in that exact field. She even met Stephen Hawking. She just had this very specific and strong passion.

If you can find a way out of the 9-to-5 life, you’ll be happier.
Click to expand...
Absolutely! It has never been appealing. I'd rather work at my own pace, set my own hours, etc.
 
#33 ·
Mind Swirl said:

SO true of me. I've never been really fired up about any specific career or field. For a while I wanted to be an animal vet, until I realized I didn't like the medical aspect as much as interacting with animals and caring for them. After that I never had any clear idea of what I wanted to do.

Compare this to my friend, who decided at age 12 she wanted to be a doctor in the diabetes research field so she could hopefully cure it. She never seemed to waver from that and is now in that exact field. She even met Stephen Hawking. She just had this very specific and strong passion.


Absolutely! It has never been appealing. I'd rather work at my own pace, set my own hours, etc.
Click to expand...
I think working with therapy animals would be pretty cool.

If you live near a zoo, you might check to see if they have a volunteer program. I have a friend who did that, and it was a couple hours a week or something. I think she was able to feed the tortoises and be in with them.
 
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#34 ·
I'm considering the idea (far from actualization so far) of going back to school and getting degrees in Psychology, to be a therapist/counselor. Just the thought of working with people 1 on 1, learning their stories and helping them help themselves... to me it achieves something deep down I've wanted all along.

Of course as a 9 I can't tell you how many times I've had a fleeting, highly hopeful melting sweetness feeling of "I can be this!" and getting crazy imaginative about the awesome things coming my way, rationalizing them as "yes! this is it!". in my head. Then it fades away and it feels like a dream. I have dreamed about being an actor, a director, a writer, a psychologist, so on.

Perhaps I can still be all those things. But what I'm realizing is that I will know it when that "feeling" doesn't' go away... that impulse is now suddenly a drive...something I *have* to do, perhaps passion or anger fuels it...

It reminds me of the feeling that Michael Moore (who is a 9w1) has with his movies. He has a subject he feels so strongly about - that he decides to do something about it, and even if he can't change the status quo, he can at least make a mockery or expose them to his version of the truth. And I feel like his w1 brings in those morals, that passion that causes that "oomph" in the personality, in the goals...

In general I like helping people though. I'm not sure yet how I can help people while finding that gut passion in me yet. It will come to me whether I like it or force it.
Whether I am working at a restaurant, bar, retail, or sales... I am helping people making educated decisions as a consumer. Of course, after 12 years of doing this, I'm a little tired and would like to do something more in line with my ideals.

Working at a movie theatre. Great place for a 9. Working with the public in general equals some conflict, but I notice most people are friendly (everyone has their 'going out' mask they wear) and far outnumber the assholes (depending on where you work of course!) Free movies... a tantalizing idea for a 9. Such a valid reason to narc out and merge with the characters... so many movies I lost myself in...

In general I think good career choices will depend on the skills you have, however basic they may be. If you're good at something, do a job that utilizes that. You might hate it or love it some days, but that is the nature of work. If you're doing a job you're not good at, then I think you'll really hate it or end up getting fired/quitting. Everyone is good at something. Everyone has a gift, everyone is an artist of something. If you don't know what it is, go out and find it - in yourself. Then use this gift, what you are good at... to really make things happen, to really empower yourself to create yourself a new reality, a new story...
 
#35 ·
Hrm, and after only a few hours of thinking, I've flip flopped on my aspirations. Now I'm thinking about pursuing a life in acting.

I remember being in drama club in high school. I joined because I went along with others. Except I wasn't on stage...I was on the backstage crew. I was a bigger guy, so they used me for my strength to move sets. But secretly? I wanted to be on stage - something about looking out that curtain and seeing hundreds of faces seemed scary AND lusty at the same time - like I wanted their recognition. Very much the child 3 in me that Maitri talks about...

I know other 9's can admit the amazing ability to merge with something, a person, place or thing. To feel how it feels... to see the world as it sees it, almost as if you become the driver of the vehicle for just a moment in time.

As much as this is our crutch at times, it is also an brilliant gift... if we simply find a way to channel it constructively where it doesn't let our ego run wild. I think acting might be this for me.. for me to really let my life force out. So many of the best actors are the ones who really became their characters; they truly embodied them, not fake at all, but very natural and genuine. I wouldn't have a doubt in my mind some of them are 9's.

As for getting into psychology? Well, it's something I'm really interested in, like the Enneagram... and also like a lot of other little things.

I have to remind myself it's not only okay to have one passion, but have many passions... but one of them you "can, should, must, WILL" run with.
 
#36 ·
This is the big question in my life right now. I of course don't wanna work at all. Well, certainly not in the standard 9-5 office routine. I think I would go mad after a while. I am notice about myself that without any sort of goal to go towards I end up not doing anything and feeling bad about it. So I need to find something that truly harnesses that and go with it with all I got.
 
#38 ·
Those lists are very meh.

Had a colleague ask me with a really serious look the other day "why aren't you a councillor?!". I could see that being an area of comfort for a 9.

Psychology interests more than most things have, however the course load is reading upon reading upon reading, and I'm not too sure it would keep my interest as a job. Although it's highly possible next to nothing would keep my interest as a job long term. The down side of being asked when you're young "what do you want to do when you grow up?" and never knowing, is it's easy to drift, going back to uni now would require considerable effort, more than I think I could sustain without full time income.

My point 3 integration comes out from time to time and I get very focused and all about advancement, but when all is said and done, I'd prefer not to work within a set system where there are restrictions and clocks and dress codes.
 
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#39 ·
Narc_of_the_Covenant said:
Of course as a 9 I can't tell you how many times I've had a fleeting, highly hopeful melting sweetness feeling of "I can be this!" and getting crazy imaginative about the awesome things coming my way, rationalizing them as "yes! this is it!". in my head. Then it fades away and it feels like a dream. I have dreamed about being an actor, a director, a writer, a psychologist, so on.
Click to expand...
Me too! I could never settle on one thing. I'm in college now studying to become a speech pathologist, and even though I'm pretty set on it, I still doubt my choice of major constantly. I do feel like it's a good fit for me; I'll be able to work one on one helping people, deal with the inter-workings of language (something that fascinates me), and empower people. I doubt my choice when I fear the work might be too stressful.
 
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Saturnian Devil
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