Listen, I have known a few ISTPs, and most of them are selfish by nature, that doesn't negate the fact that they are good people.
I have known some ISTPs that are incredibly selfless, though I admit, this is less common. Perhaps its different for everyone.

Whether they choose to commit or not depends on the person, really the way a relationship is functioned is different for everyone, myers briggs doesn't determine my relationship standards.

But I do know this- ISTPs WEAKEST function is feeling, and there feeling is usually the equivalent of a 10 year olds mentality. MOST not all, but most ISTPs will not take your feelings seriously, your NF mentality may not fit with the ISTP, as an ENTP, me dating an INFP for me that is, was pretty terrible. As they expected the relationship to be filled with commitment, which is something I am not good at. ISTPs can commit more, but extroverted feeling is there worst function.

 

Human beings are selfish.

Individuals are case by case.

Depends on your outlook and pov.
What is selfish to one person is not to another what is selfless to one person is self serving to another. Way too many variables to pin point how your crush is.
Backround, How were they taught to treat people? Coping Skills, Conscience & Compassion for others
None of those things alone are determined by just mbti or functions alone.
Also enneagram

 

Is this stuff true? If it is, is it true for most, or are most of them different?

You make honesty sound bad and something to hide.

What you might find in many ISTP-ish persons is their lack of hypocrisy, ideals, beliefs and sugar coating.

I would like to ask you, answer honest. If your feeling about a commitment change drastically do you still commit? I can say honestly, when my personal subjective limit is reached my commitment is gradually cut back to ended smoothly.

ISTPs don't hide their ego behind words like most humans do.

 

I've said this so many times but you shouldn't choose your partner by their MBTI.

And secondly, don't believe the stereotypes. My general advice is, don't take type related advice from the types themselves because people are all different and the MBTI is just 4 letters and can't possibly describe the true depth and the subtle nuances of a person's character.

So, don't say 'all ISTPs are like this and so I shouldn't date an ISTP.' He could take you seriously and commit to you. He could be different. On the whole though, don't expect a serious commitment from someone you're asking out on a date for the first time. Go out with him once and see where it goes from there.

TL;DR Any type can date any type. It all depends on how mature they are.

PS. My brother is an ISTP and I know he isn't selfish. He has done some pretty great things and sacrificed his resources for my sake so no, they're not all inherently selfish. There are jerks in every type, though. Hopefully your ISTP is a good one

 

I've said this so many times but you shouldn't choose your partner by their MBTI.

This. So much.

That should be all there is to say, but to make it clear, asking

Are ISTPs selfish?

is looking at this the entirely wrong way, because selfishness is about as much related to types as intelligence, and all and any responses here will be only anecdotal on top of that, so it would be inconclusive even if there was a relation.

I can tell you how I behave, in case you are interested, but that's all. It's also going to be very tautological: I care about people and things I care about, and I don't care about people and things I don't care about. And I put things and people I care about before people and things I don't care about.

I care about myself a lot. Consequentially, I put myself before a lot of stuff. If I care as much or more about you, you end up on the top of the list as well. Simple logic.

So I dunno that it makes me selfish or more selfish than most people. The difference maybe is that I'm fine with that, I'm not hiding it or trying to pretend I'm different to what I actually am. That's a thing that does fit for a lot of ISTPs: What you see is what you get. In particular, concerning relationships, yes, right now, it would have to be on my terms. I have no interest in changing my life to fit a partner, currently; any potential one would be treated as a hobby -- something to fill my spare time.

But the crucial points are that 1) I would tell you this right from the start, and then it's up to you to agree (perhaps you want the same?) or walk away, with no grudges held on my part; and 2) this is true for me and my current life only. Who knows what other people are currently looking for? This can't possibly be extrapolated to anywhere. I will only add that I can't ever see myself staying in a long-term relationship that makes me unhappy. My happiness > your happiness then. But on the flip side, every long-term relationship will be very much a rational decision -- a step I took after much consideration, to prevent precisely this; to have someone around I can tolerate even if no feelings are involved.

Edit:

But I do know this- ISTPs WEAKEST function is feeling, and there feeling is usually the equivalent of a 10 year olds mentality.

I feel vaguely amused and/or offended XD

What kind of feeling does a 10 year old have, anyway?

 

One of my best friends is an ISTP and he’s faithful to his girlfriend. It always wondered me, because he never looked to me like someone who took things like that seriously. So I asked him one day why he was loyal to her and he basically said: Well I live in a small village, I don’t like to go out, I am quite lazy and therefore I don’t really have any other options.

One is a small sample size, I admit that, but I do think ISTPs can be loyal, but for very different reasons most people would stay faithful and once circumstances change this commitment will very quickly deteriorate.

From a purely theoretical standpoint INFP-ISTP is an absolutely horrid match tough, you don’t even share a single function with each other.

I also wonder why do you actually want commitment, respectfulness and reliability in a partner, when you are drawn to the exact opposite ?

Nevertheless MBTI alone is a rather mediocre tool when looking at relationships.

 

My one experience with an ISTP was incredibly horrible. However, he was very immature and none too bright. Very selfish and all he did was project his emotions.

 

Is this stuff true? If it is, is it true for most, or are most of them different?

You make honesty sound bad and something to hide.

What you might find in many ISTP-ish persons is their lack of hypocrisy, ideals, beliefs and sugar coating.

I would like to ask you, answer honest. If your feeling about a commitment change drastically do you still commit? I can say honestly, when my personal subjective limit is reached my commitment is gradually cut back to ended smoothly.

ISTPs don't hide their ego behind words like most humans do.

In the honest answer to your question you asked for, the answer is still no. When my feelings change that doesn't mean my thoughts or actions change, because my feelings can change back, they're not stable enough to be a decision maker. I am quite a flighty person from a visceral perspective, so if my action in relationships was all about how I felt, my life would be chaos, and people I loved would be hurt. Secondly, in my eyes Honesty is not a bad thing, no matter how blunt. But I don't consider caring how your words affect another human being to be dishonest. And if hypothetically Freud's ideas are as valid as some like to vouch, we are still more than our egos, there's no need to assume that most others are just being fake. Our egos are more like our five year old selves. I wouldn't haste to say we are more "real" just because we throw tantrums in Walmart, or we are more "free" for rejecting systems or having no ideals or beliefs. To me a more civilized world would not be one where everyone stopped having values. And in my opinion a world where everyone only cared about themselves would fall apart anyway Because ego-centricism is dependent, people that are in it for themselves still need people to gain things from, some selfish people would still have to become givers again if their system were to survive, thus nullifying their entire system. But could the world survive if everyone were selfless? Yes, but obviously only if there were a balance of give and take. To me, selfishness may be natural when circumstantial, but debilitating as a lifestyle.

But of course, this is just how I see the world based on my INFPness and my background. If all ISTPs see things the opposite, maybe I'm stupid to try to make a relationship work.

 

No, not at all.
Selfishness can only manifest in one type and one type only; that being --> everyone.

 

You can't say that a whole group of people will have a certain behaviour based on their type only. But I understand your question...

Personally I don't feel like I'm selfish, pretty much the contrary actually, you know I am generous with my money, I easily share my belongings (and food :wink:that counts too), I've been working as a volunteer in a few associations...
The thing is I give when I feel it makes sense. And that's probably why I'm not so good at giving in a relationship, because feelings make things blurry and it becomes harder to make sense (am I making sense right now?). It really is just the destabilisation/ confusion that come along with strong emotional bonds which can make me act in a selfish way.

Also about that loyalty thing, when ISTPs told you they didn't care about rules and blablabla, they didn't mean it as in "and we'll never follow any" but more like "we only follow our own rules"... so my point is if loyalty is a value that an ISTP has chosen to follow, they will do it.