Extroversion or introversion doesn't have anything to do with how shy or outgoing you are.

 

Yeah, there's such thing as 'unhealthy' types.

People who -- for some reason -- act like completely different types.
Usually, as you said, it's out of traumatic experience.

And there's no such thing as a 'dumb question' since every question an ESFP would ask could be called dumb...

 

Sure they can. Why not? Shyness is totally separate from E/I - even though the general population often lumps introversion with shyness, this is inaccurate.

Fun fact: I went through trauma. (Okay maybe not "fun" exactly. Smile at the irony, then.) It altered my personality. I used to test as I, though I think perhaps I wasn't really introverted. I was just withdrawn to cope, and later to heal psychologically which would have been harder to do with the level of openness I have as a non-withdrawn extrovert. I've checked with my mother, and in the last year or so I've become more like the way I was as a kid before I got so withdrawn.

 

I believe it is possible! I was a very shy child - unusually shy. Would NOT talk to anyone new under most circumstances. It wasn't until I was about 14 that I grew out of it. I realized how much I valued people and attention and now I can't even imagine how it was to be scared of interaction. I find it exhilarating now. So maybe some people just grow into it, eventually. Hope this helps!~

 

Yep. I'm pretty shy myself.

 

I have always been extremely shy with people at firstand I have a mild social anxiety likelyy from trauma. I've been known to start random convos with random people anywhere depending on my mood but it doesn't make me any less shy unfortunately, at least it hasn't yet. I just happen to feel more sociable or outgoing that particular moment.

 

I'm shy when first meeting people. But only because I want to watch them and see what they're about. After that, full steam ahead! Also, to that INTJ up there: not funny. Or insightful.

 

a good friend of mine is an esfp. he can often be shy around people he doesn't know or doesn't often talk to. especially if he feels they might be the judgemental type. he either goes really quiet or tries to use his Te function as a defence mechanism to hide his nervousness. ofcourse the rest of the time he's loud, upbeat and energetic.

 

Well this sounds a lot like me and actually as ive got older I have become a lot more outgoing and found I very much enjoy other people's company, but I can still be a little shy when I first meet people I dont know.

ESFP is the latest result to come up for me on the 16 test, but im still not sure if it is me, would be nice if it was.:laughing:

I have realised that when im in a positive outgoing mood it is just like me.

 

From experience, yes it's possible I was very quiet in High School mostly because in Middle School I wasn't quiet and didn't settle too well with some kids. So I thought, I'm tired of people questioning me, so i'll just shut up

Now I'm completely over that and I'm still shy but very seldom, but it's only when I'm around people I don't know at all.
One aspect of myself that I really enjoy, is that strangers think i'm some innocent nice guy (people don't think I'm a person that would use drugs or could possibly break the law). Though I am nice... I'm far from innocent I also read somewhere ESFP are first to crack in police interrogations? Well I can say this is true, but it was only to protect myself. Me and some got pulled over on New Years, I had gram of weed on me. I'm not one for lying until i'm proven guilty, i'd rather be the one to admit my faults. Honestly, I wasn't trying to get the others in trouble, I was just worried about my well-being.

Yes I went completely off topic, oh well. haha

 

introversion/extroversion doesn't have anything to do with shyness ^^

 

I was a very shy child and stayed shy right through college. I'm not really shy anymore, except in groups and around new people. Once I get to know people, I am a chatterbox. But when people first meet me, they think that I barely speak!

 

I can be shy in certain situations. Mainly when we move to a new base and I am meeting all of the officers in the wardroom for the first time. I like to sit back and watch to see what type of person they are. I also do not want to embarrass my husband (he says I never do but its a fear of mine).


[/quote]And there's no such thing as a 'dumb question' since every question an ESFP would ask could be called dumb...[/QUOTE]

I really do not think that every question I ask is dumb. I am intelligent person who can actually hold a conversation and debate with my husband. I can't handle it for too long but I can do it!

 

I'm also shy with bigger group of people I don't know well, in smaller groups I can mostly hide it. In my opinion ESFP personality can expose person to shyness, because like shy people also ESFP may be very self-aware ("what they think about me"), sensitive and wants to please others. With people I know well I'm more "normal" ESFP meaning type of acting descripted in most pages about MBTI.

Hope you understood, I haven't wrote english long time :laughing: I'm new here :tongue:

 

Welcome, happygoluckyFIN! I understand well your shyness issues because I share them.
Don't worry about your English. It is harder to write a foreign language than it is to speak it.

 

YA! Cuz I'm pretty much the same way - i was DEATHLY afraid of talking to people...and now I kinda need their attention to live, i'm proud of who i am...and i used to not be... and so YES! I AGREE! PEOPLE CAN GROW INTO THEIR TRUE PERSONALITY! that is all...bye....

 

I've never been too afraid of striking up a convo with a new person... I've only been afraid of how I'd be judged by them. I hate being seen negatively by other people, which is part of the reason I was a bit shy as a child. Another reason had to do with a bit of trauma I was put through as a kid.

Anyways, no, I'm not shy. Somedays I might seem a little shy, if I'm not feeling too confident in how I look and stuff (example: days I'm extra bloated or something, haha)

 

Did someone bodysnatch me or something? I could have wrote that myself.

 

I've noticed I have the same problem many ESFP's have. I'm super-shy when I don't know a lot of people in a group or team. But the minute I feel I'm accepted by them, I unleash the "real" me. Some super talkative, excited teen!!!

 

Psychological trauma growing up? Yes. Shy? Very much so.

I eventually got out of it in high school. I can be either very quiet, plain responsive, or very chatty and sometimes quite loud. Clowning around and making people laugh is the most fun I have but I don't engage in that often.

But yeah, a lot of the shyness has to do with not having a feel for the group and people and thinking I might be judged or look like a fool and humiliating myself. When I know I am accepted, things are a lot different.

But in some situations I'm dropping wise-cracks and subtle interjections that get some of the people around me giggling .

I don't go out of my way to talk to people or befriend people unless I am really sure they want to talk to me and that I want to talk to them but that they are just super shy, but even then I feel awkward and like I don't know how to just start talking unless there's a good reason to, y'know?

And happygolucky hit the nail on the head for me.

 

Introversion or extraversion are not point of being shy. Shyness is about emotional or social sensitivity. So with strong F ESFP are easier to being shy than for example INTJs (INTJ does not avoid people his shyness but social/emotional signals being disturbance).

 

I think that's case at least with me, I have quite strong F.

 

Yes, we can! As strange as it is, I am especially shy in front of new people and when placed on stage/in front of crowds - I can even get anxious walking down a sidewalk on a busy day! Also, if we are in the company of a more choleric personality we can choose to be introverted to let them take control. BUT as my friends (who are all introverts) say, I can easily introduce myself to people - which is true - but this stems from being uncomfortable when facing a new person and wanting to get the introduction over with, whereas I am assuming an introvert would gladly just sit there not talking and not knowing who that person is. And last but not least, if we are in the presence of someone we like and aren't sure if the feelings are reciprocated, we tend to be very awkward and shy...its a curse. lol

This may be because I was raised in a family of introverts...all I know is that if I am in a setting where I am comfortable I am in my ESFP glory. haha

 

This may be because I was raised in a family of introverts...all I know is that if I am in a setting where I am comfortable I am in my ESFP glory. haha

Family can definitely have an impact. My mother and both elder siblings are fairly introverted and therefore I grew up in a household where people weren't really a huge thing. I finally broke out of my shyness in my late teens.

 

I don't believe that a Se dom can easily be very shy..But there are definitely many exceptions..I have 2 ESFPs in my family.My 14 years old sister who is not even slightly shy.And my mother who is not very shy.

Btw I completely disagree with people that said that "shyness is not related to introversion at all"..Introversion and shyness are not the same thing and they don't always come together.But introverts are definitely more likely to be shy than extroverts

 

I don't believe that a Se dom can easily be very shy..But there are definitely many exceptions..I have 2 ESFPs in my family.My 14 years old sister who is not even slightly shy.And my mother who is not very shy.

Early childhood on an Se-dom can have a big impact especially if they're not exposed to an environment that allows them engage with other individuals. I believe that's what happened in my case. Up until my teens I was mostly isolated, living in a single bedroom, playing music by myself, reading books and writing in journals. She tried to raise me like an introvert because that's what was familiar to her with herself and her other children.

It wasn't until 6th grade where I finally broke out when my mom realized that unlike her and my other siblings I was actually very social and she gave me full freedom to go out and hang out with my friends. The more I spent time with them, the more engaged with the world I got and over time came into my own. By my late teens I was just sleeping at home. Most of the time I was out with friends, partying, rollerblading, playing hockey, movies, video games, concerts, bars, dance clubs etc.

My mom wouldn't care where I was as long as I told her in advance a general idea of when I'd get home.

Btw I completely disagree with people that said that "shyness is not related to introversion at all"..Introversion and shyness are not the same thing and they don't always come together.But introverts are definitely more likely to be shy than extroverts

Or maybe they're more likely to exhibit behaviors that people consider shyness when it's just them being lost in thought or not wanting to be drained. Think about it for a second. If something is draining and stressful, how likely is an introvert to engage in the world .. not very. We assume that those who don't engage are shy .. But is it really shyness?

 

Probably being bulled as a kid/teen made me somewhat shy

somewhat - i'm only shy to a few groups of people, don't ask me why because i don't really know

 

Probably turn out more anxious than shy if they went through a traumatic experiences.

As an ESFP I become shy when I feel a person is undressing me with their eyes, can read beyond the surface of who I am, the way they observe me is how I would observe someone I am curious about.

I used to be bullied heavily during my school days which was traumatic experience for me. So when there is a group of school kids around I get anxious because they make remarks similar to when I was back in school. Possibly an ESFP can become anxious in a situation like this.

I mentioned anxious because I feel your question and scenario is more ESFPs being anxious than shy.

 

For some reason im shy when it comes to authority. Id say the worst for me is meeting someones parents who you can tell are very serious people just from looking at them. Thats probably the most shy you will see me. Also, I find places where people are just chilling together and not saying a word pretty awkward. Is it just me?

 

People are very varied. I used to be very shy, I am and was a natural loner and I didn't really talk that much. As I gained confidence and basically most of my jobs have involved working with people almost all the time, I have been extroverted for years. Very chatty, preferring to talk to co-workers rather then work, hahaha and coming to a point where I readily share personal information with people I don't know well. I still enjoy being alone, but sometime I wonder if I get bored if it is because there are no people to engage with. People, well a few, have told me they can't picture me as being shy. But I don't really enjoy large gathering and the thoughts of socializing can still make me dread a situation, especially if I didn't know anyone in the situation/social gathering. It also took me a LONG time to get the hang of small talk. I actually kind of enjoy it now but at the same time, it is kind of a ridiculous social thing that happens.

 

I have had a similar experience with the development of my appreciation/valuing/caring of people.