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ENTJ Women

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#1 ·
Hi hi I've been reading a lot about different personalities and I have come to find myself quite fascinated by the ENTJ personality type. That being said I have some questions for the ENTJ women (and ENTJ men feel free to chime in to some of these questions as well as some of these will be "genderless" questions) here just to satiate my curiousity being an INTP type :)

So my questions I think are quite simple. For the ENTJ women, the ENTJ personality type is one known for being quite forceful and it is said that people of this personality type can often overwhelm other personality types with their energy and can be seen as intimidating by others. While I think this is definitely true for men (my grandfather who is this type and actually one of my favorite people that I know is definitely seen as intimidating by the rest of the family, as well as one of my good friends) I'd like to know if ENTJ women are perceived the same way and if so if these traits have had any negative impact on your life as being forceful and seen as intimidating are not "ladylike" traits in western society and often get you labeled as being a "bitch."

For the more generalized question that is genderless, as an INTP I would like to know what ENTJs think about INTPs in general. Do you like them? Do you not like them? What traits about INTPs do you find fascinating and interesting and what traits leave much to be desired to you? And how do ENTJs feel about the other NT personality types as well?
 
#2 ·
Well, there are a TON of posts about this specific topic, but since I love add to things that have already been discussed I will answer your question.

1. ENTJ being perceived as unladylike?

Absolutely. Though, I think that this is highly subjective. Some men and women don't always encounter women who are more rational than emotional, assertive rather than passive or passive aggressive, so when people encounter someone who strikes them as an enigma or sorts I think they react negatively to it.

I will say, as an ENTJ, I get along better with men than women, but I am not a man. I am a woman. I wish I had the female friends that other girls have. I couldnt really good friends with SFPs or SFJs. Id prefer to be around NF and NT women both of which are hard to come by so Im more often by myself. With that being said I think it strikes both men and women as odd. Especially women. Women naturally herd, so when you're someone who doesn't mind being alone its viewed negatively by other women. I dont play their little emotional/guilty tripping, agree-with-me-blindly games. Id rather be alone. So that too causes me to stand out in a negative way.

2. Were perceived as bitches?

I really dislike this term, but to play on what I said before its really subjective. Some women are bitches, some women are assertive most people dont know where to draw the like. Though assertive can be confused with aggression. There is a fine line between the two. I think it comes down to situation. When Im getting something done no one is to stand in my way without good reason. A lot of people dont get that. Most people put themselves before the task at hand while I do the opposite. I will steam roll you if you get in my way. If youre blocking me it had better be with damn good reason or you're messing with the bull and Ill give you the horn. If thats a bitch than so be it.

I see "bitch" as someone who tears other people down only to build themselves up. They lack low self esteem and can only gain confidence by feeling "superior" to other people. Its annoying to me. Women who roll in packs are usually where bitches lie. Im a loner by nature so I really have no need to be a bitch nor do I get anything out of being bitchy. Complaining and shitting on other people is just a waste of time to me. If I dont like you or something that you're doing Im just going to stop dealing with you and move on. A bitch would stick around and lament about how much she disliked you so that you knew it. I think bitchiness is more emotional. It doesnt benefit me so why do it.

3. What do I think of INTPs?

I dont know for sure that Ive ever met any in life. But from what Ive gathered about them, I think we could get along well if both parties were open to it. I could see INTPs being jealous of ENTJs. While INTPs are more introspective than ENTJs, ENTJs get shit taken care of. I was reading a forum once and this INTP said he hated how ENTJs acted like they knew everything. He said he resented how ENTJs took charge when no one else would. What struck me as odd is how he said that he could "in theory" run a team. I think a lot of what INTPs is based in theory. Like I said, I dont know any that I know of so this is what Im gathering from what Ive heard.

So the big thing that could cause tension between ENTJs and INTPs is refusing to accept the others strengths. ENTJs are good at getting shit done, closing deals, rubbing elbows with people, making decisions etc. INTPs go more indepth and are more thorough and can probably produce more ideas than ENTJs but they wont get the done. This is why the ENTJ/INTP combination works so well. I think that INTPs can become resentful of ENTJs because we arent as introspective or thorough but our strengths are rewarded by the culture we live in. This also seems to be something ENTPs complain about. Apparently ENTJs come in and make things more efficient and will strip the "unique" aspect off but at the end of the day, it doesnt matter. ENTJ behavior is rewarded and people seek it out.

My opinion on ENTPs: I think Ive met a few, and I might work with one. They're okay but there is an obvious difference. They're really smart but I dont take them that seriously. Its not their sense of humor or anything, but I think they have a knack for liking to make other people uncomfortable. They find strength in it and its kind of annoying. They have this outspoken, know it all, Im gonna make you uncomfortable aura and I hate it. They always want to get the upper hand with people. I think it works with most people but they can't do it with me. The guy that I work with just LOVES to talk about sex. He also LOVES to look down on other people for not being "open" to it. Its like he doesnt realize that most people are just private about it. Hes told me he likes to see how far he can push people. I listen, respond, laugh, but I never give him anything else. He can talk about whatever he wants but I know he cant read me. And I think that bothers me to some degree. I own the impassive face.

My thoughts on INTJs: Dont think Ive met any actually. But theyre rare so...


p.s. I think I have met and INTP. from what I gathered from him, He was very focused of a hand full of topics. He liked running, religion and politics/philosophy. That was it. He knew all of those things really well, but that was it. Once we changed the subject to something like tattoos he had nothing to say. I think it bothered him because he kept trying to join the conversation but he knew nothing of substance to add. An INTP would read 30 books on 3 subjects and become highly informed while and ENTJ would read 30 books on 10 subjects and know a little bit about a lot of things. ENTJs are really good at padding shit and making it look like we know a lot more than we actually do. Thats another reason ENTJ are pretty solid. Bullshit truly is an art form.

Okay, Im done now.
 
#3 ·
I really dislike this term, but to play on what I said before its really subjective. Some women are bitches, some women are assertive most people dont know where to draw the like. Though assertive can be confused with aggression. There is a fine line between the two. I think it comes down to situation. When Im getting something done no one is to stand in my way without good reason. A lot of people dont get that. Most people put themselves before the task at hand while I do the opposite. I will steam roll you if you get in my way. If youre blocking me it had better be with damn good reason or you're messing with the bull and Ill give you the horn. If thats a bitch than so be it.
I didn't mean to suggest that ENTJ women are "bitches" I was asking if they have a problem with people seeing them in that light because of ENTJ personality traits of assertiveness and such. Sorry if that wasn't clear :)


I dont know for sure that Ive ever met any in life. But from what Ive gathered about them, I think we could get along well if both parties were open to it. I could see INTPs being jealous of ENTJs. While INTPs are more introspective than ENTJs, ENTJs get shit taken care of. I was reading a forum once and this INTP said he hated how ENTJs acted like they knew everything. He said he resented how ENTJs took charge when no one else would. What struck me as odd is how he said that he could "in theory" run a team. I think a lot of what INTPs is based in theory. Like I said, I dont know any that I know of so this is what Im gathering from what Ive heard.
I'm really surprised that he stated that ENTJs taking charge annoys him. Its actually one of the traits that fascinates me personally, that leadership quality. As I said my grandfather is an ENTJ and I truly admire him, he is one of my favorite people in the world. A good friend of mine that I have known since childhood is also this type and I really enjoy talking to him.

As an INTP I would prefer not to run a teams day to day and task to task operations. I would rather, in fact, pass that role off to somebody else like an ENTJ who would be very capable and effective at doing it. I would rather be the idea person, the person who comes up with great ideas for the group/team. But I will be the first to tell you that I am terrible at executing and implementing my ideas but they are good ideas when I have them. I know my strengths and execution/implementation is not one of them so I would rather pass the leadership role to someone else lol. I would actually be delighted if an ENTJ wanted to lead a project that I had thought up in my head because I know it would likely get finished.

On that note I have said to some of my friends regarding this issue that you don't have to be the leader to be a leader. I believe that.
 
#5 ·
1. I'd like to know if ENTJ women are perceived the same way and if so if these traits have had any negative impact on your life as being forceful and seen as intimidating are not "ladylike" traits in western society and often get you labeled as being a "bitch."
I'm from Asian/eastern society. It's... been interesting hahahaha.
Anyway. If anything, it taught me how not to appear forceful. It simply doesn't work. The stubbornness still shows, but it appears contained/ passive instead, rather than the maybe expected aggressive ENTJ conduct.
Colder, more solid, more passive/ defensive-- as far as I can tell, my image ends up somewhat like an ice/stone covered active volcano. Generally benign but not something to jerk around/ trifle with.

I don't think I can really answer the second part. I certainly can be a bitch, especially when I think the person deserves it (thankfully, not often). I know where to hit to make it hurts. I prefer to think that it's.. the more sophisticated kind, not the sort that badmouth people, emotionally blackmails and make unpleasant rumours.

On the other hand, a friend's sister is another Asian ENTJ female, and she..
definitely comes off as overbearing, aggressive, and rather bitchy. Maybe it's just style, maybe I'm just particularly lazy for an ENTJ. I don't like raising my voice.

2. For the more generalized question that is genderless, as an INTP I would like to know what ENTJs think about INTPs in general. Do you like them? Do you not like them? What traits about INTPs do you find fascinating and interesting and what traits leave much to be desired to you? And how do ENTJs feel about the other NT personality types as well?
Neutral? I tend to like NTs better than other combinations.

Long time ago I dated an INTP, pretty much my first serious relationship and it crashed like first relationships tend to. I wish he had been more decisive. I wish I had been saner. There were long gaps of contact where he had to collect his thoughts and I couldn't do anything but to wait. I was too young/immature (both of us were, I suppose) to draw lines, some sort of structure, that could have guarded my sanity/ the relationship. They didn't communicate well/ at all and I didn't know how to make them.

I haven't been in much contact with other INTPs since then, but I wouldn't be against another try. What I liked.. he was stable, the way INTs are, but without the tricky-to-deal-with innate arrogance INTJs often built with. Not pretentious at all and it was charming, but there's insecurity on the flipside. Actually, I sense this strand of insecurity/ lack of confidence in INTPs in general, and not sure why. Something with how their functions are arranged?
 
#6 · (Edited)
Statistically, more men are "thinkers" and more women are "feelers", so being a woman who is a thinker makes you different from most other women. If someone stereotypes people based on their gender, a woman who is a thinker (or a man who is a feeler) can be a bit disconcerting for them. Anyone who is outside of what they define as their confort zone is perceived as being different, not usually in a postive way. This belief is their own prejudice. I tend to ignore them if they make negative comments about me or others. I write-off their opinions to ignorance. I don't see the point in trying explain why I seem different. They tend to have a preconceived notion of what appropriate behavior is for a woman, and my explanations aren't going to change their minds. The simple way of saying that is: Haters gonna hate.

I've heard people say that women "thinkers" think like men. I've always been amused by that. Like, somehow being a woman who thinks rationally and doesn't think emotionally makes you masculine. I see it more as a girl who can hang with the guys. I think you'll find that most "T" women will tell you that they get along much better with men than they do with other women. But, we're still women, just not the kind of women some people expect us to be.

The T/F thing ... once people get over the initial "you're-not-like-other-women" thing, most men and women tend to be accepting of you. The ones who aren't, aren't.

ENTJs are a not very common personality type and most ENTJs are men, so female ENTJs are pretty rare. ENTJs tend to gravitate toward leadership roles. We're bold and assertive. Again, a trait some people may find offputting in a woman. We can come off as intimidating, but I take exception to calling that "bitchy". If you're going to assign a label to being an assertive woman, I don't mind if you call me bossy. That's my job. I'm bossy because I'm your boss, the fact that I'm a woman is irrelevant. I look at it this way ... I'm your boss, I'm wearing a dress, get over it. If that bothers you, that's your problem. I'm not particularly bothered by what you think.
 
#7 ·
Haters gonna hate.
Perfect summation. I tend to fall back on that one a lot myself.

I've heard people say that women "thinkers" think like men. I've always been amused by that.
Me too. Men who are thinkers think like thinkers. Women who are thinkers also think like thinkers. That's my take. lol

@nreynolds1990

I think the situation of the female ENTJ is similar to the situation of the other "non-stereotypical" female personalities. I do think that, based on what I've seen, ENTJs are better equipped to handle the challenge than most. Out of all the thinking types, I see ENTJ females complain the least about the problem. It appears that they're just wired to go succeed regardless of any adversity. It's just another challenge. If a person can't handle a dominant, driven woman, then they simply get dismissed.

As for me, I really like other NTs. My boss is ENTP, I have 2 INTJ friends, and I know absolutely 0 INTPs. I actually feel like my circle is incomplete. lol. Sure we'll differ on things, what with the concrete thinking vs. abstract thinking and all, but I value those differences. I love to surround myself with those that think differently than I do. It helps me stay grounded.

If you are interested in our type, feel free to come chill with us on our boards. Despite those completely false* claims to the contrary, we don't bite.

*"completely false" is a statement that may or may not be the actual intent of the wording that it is comprised of. The contractual definition of this term can be found at the apportioned location.
 
#8 ·
What a fitting name, Sovereign.
 
#9 ·
Haha. Yes, one could attribute it to the stereotypical ENTJ love for power (I am sovereign) or money (I made 4 sovereigns today at the fish market). Or you could just attribute it to Mass Effect. Which just so happens to be the actual source. :tongue:
 
#12 ·
I don't. I don't want to run the world. I'd die of stress. I'm sure there are others who think the same, but we're off topic. lol

I agree with this. I tend not to like F women. They are the women I think to in my head, "she is an idiot." LOL No offense F women, I'm speaking mostly from an if I'm interested in someone standpoint. Haha I thought you played Mass Effect Sovereign xD I see a Dragon Age reference in there too
Yes you do! I hoped someone would find that... lol. Closet gamer nerd here, in case it wasn't glaringly obvious.
 
#14 ·
Have I been called a bitch? Yes. Have I been called intimidating? Yes. Have I been told I'm unladylike? Yes. Do I care? No. :)

What do I think of INTPs? I dated an INTP. Hated how lazy he was and how he didn't care about "things" such as impressions, cleanliness, and ambition. It wasn't in the way he had a solid reason for it either. To me it felt like he was trying to find reasons to rebel. Which to me was annoying. I like being well connected. I like networking. He didn't give a shit about those things yet bitched about being unhappy about his professional life. Bitched about not having many friends. I also disliked how he didn't want to take any credit for his triumphs.

He was intelligent & successful. I admired it. But I disliked his overall view of life in general. Very lack luster to me. Oh well.

These may seem like strong criticisms. It didn't work out for obvious reasons.
 
#15 ·

What do I think of INTPs? I dated an INTP. Hated how lazy he was and how he didn't care about "things" such as impressions, cleanliness, and ambition. It wasn't in the way he had a solid reason for it either. To me it felt like he was trying to find reasons to rebel. Which to me was annoying. I like being well connected. I like networking. He didn't give a shit about those things yet bitched about being unhappy about his professional life. Bitched about not having many friends. I also disliked how he didn't want to take any credit for his triumphs.

He was intelligent & successful. I admired it. But I disliked his overall view of life in general. Very lack luster to me. Oh well.

These may seem like strong criticisms. It didn't work out for obvious reasons.


Haha this sounds like me a little bit but with a few differences. I'm trying to work on some of these areas :) I'll sometimes complain along the same lines of "not having many friends," but not exactly...actually it not that at all, its more along the lines of I don't like being ignored, which all to often I feel I am. I'm satisfied with the number of friends I have just dissatisfied with the quality of that friendship? Let me explain, all to often I am the one who is initiating the conversation and contacting people checking up on how they are doing but very few people like maybe 3 people that I know will contact me on their own and I get tired of it because I feel that it is disingenuous on their part to say I'm their friend but not bother to contact me on their own.

But its not like I sit around and complain I do try to initiate contacts with new people I meet like around school and places I go (which I think unless you're the same type you have no idea how hard that is for me) but those never work out either, by nature I'm not a talker unless I know that person well (which in this case I become a motor mouth) but with new people I'm not because I won't know what to talk about. So if someone else isn't taking that role from the beginning I usually have to take it and I find it to be...awkward... I tried to organize a party which I think is strange for my type and a lot of people said they -couldn't- go despite me saying the date was not set and negotiable at this point. So that irritated me. So I think in this arena, my frustration is not lack of friends but feeling like I am ignored, misunderstood, and under-valued by the few friends I do have.

I'm actually surprised I'm talking about this, usually I don't unless I know someone very well o_O

Anyways about ambition, no I don't have that. I have ambitious ideas in my head but often lack the external ambition necessary to carry them out. Laziness is definitely true of me but actually an area I'm trying to work on a lot of my laziness relates to cleanliness actually, more in the area of putting things away and cleaning up my living space and opposed to personal hygiene. I'm not the stereotypical INTP with a "weekly shower" lol used to be...not so much anymore xD I do care about impressions though, when meeting new people I like to leave a good impression. Perhaps that comes out of my feeling that I am often ignored or misunderstood and if I make a good impression this will not be the case, I don't know :/
 
#23 ·
Applying For: Position of speech-writer for potential/aspiring ENTJ world dictators.

Experience: Writing college-level essays.

Talents: Laziness, introversion, objectivity, apathy, lack of morals, extreme sarcasm...
 
#30 ·
Well...most people say I'm a bitch...but that's probably because I'm a bitch. I can't very well speak for other ENTJs since I only know me, and I'm not even sure that I'm an ENTJ myself.

As for what I think of INTPs -
*all of the INTPs I know have had some sort of epic fascination with biology....but maybe I just hang out with like-minded nerds. But you can't exactly be involved in health professions and not meet people who think the human body is some epic sh!t.
*INTPs, at least the ones I know, seem to have an adventurous streak that coincides with my spontaneity pretty well.
*As far as the perceiving function is concerned, INTPs are the easiest to get along with.
 
#32 ·
I enjoy being an ENTJ in that I am bubbly wit and a big dreamer with solid, practical, and measured goals/drives. I hate telling people I'm an ENTJ though, because of the reasons you mentioned. They automatically assume that as an NT and a J, I'm a robotic judgmental bitch. Which, I definitely can be but trust me, I'm judging me a million times more than I'm judging you and if I'm robotic it's just that you're throwing all your emotions in my face before I've the change to categorize/pro-con it all....

ENTJ women do, I think, get the short end of the stick. We're neither emotionally tactile nor charmingly spontaneous. We're extroverted sure, but T extroverts are more likely to be perceived as blunt than as charismatic. We fit in well in a "man's world", often better than around FP girls (see New Girl: Zooey vs. Lizzy), but a lot of us are also staunch (sometimes militant) feminists. We're the Hilaries and the Belvas and we're not often rewarded by society for that.

Personally, I love INTPs! My roommate and I operate on the same logical wavelength and have the same sense of humor (dry), neither of us mind when the other is "mean" (we poke at each other's weaknesses a lot), and intelligent discussions are both zany and stimulating. The one thing that drives me insane though is that she never eeeever makes plans. I have to nag a lot to get her out of the house with me, and she's a fairly well adjusted socially I.
 
#33 ·
I've had to learn to soften myself so that I don't intimidate people. I do it by acting far more touchy-feely and collaborative (vs leading) than what is natural. ENTJs are charismatic strategists - a good one knows how to come across to achieve their objectives because you can't get to your goal without people with you who like and respect you. It's a lot easier to lead with friends than enemies :). It's the underdeveloped ones who come across as "bitchy." That being said, I find touchy-feely and useless interactions exhausting and avoid them. And because of Te, I have to actively avoid adopting their touchy-feely ideas. My ENTP friend gave me great advice on how to get along with people better: pause and listen before responding. Simple but magic. Still, whenever I meet someone with whom I can be natural and who can "hit right back," so to speak, I get so happy.

And I don't know any INTPs very well. I think well-developed ISTPs are fantastic so it makes sense that I would like an INTP even better because we can share the N more easily. I also get along wonderfully for ENTPs. I do sometimes get sick of talking about theories that lead nowhere with ENTPs so I could see that amplified with INTPs. Even when I'm theorizing in a seemingly directionless way I'm building a framework. I would also appreciate their independence and strength.As far as why I haven't met any, this is probably because of where we hang out. If the stereotypes are true, INTPs will often choose activities because they are unconventional and likes nerdy things like science fiction. I am in business, don't care about things because they are conventional or unconventional and the "charismatic leader" thing leads us away from "nerdy" pursuits to competitive/social hobbies - ie sports, music, bars. But who knows, this is all theory.

INTJ: Know two well. Get along with both well. Less developed one needs to get out of his head more often.
ENTJ: Know three - one female and two males. The guys, probably underdeveloped, were too bossy making me resistant to what they would ask me to do and the girl is a close friend and all around great girl. Sometimes people see her as too chatty or bossy but I get it - and usually don't like the people who don't like her.
ENTP: Love these people. Partners in crime.
 
#34 ·
I am actually not sure if I can think of any ENTJ men off the top of my head. Maybe one of my old professors, but I think he was an F, not a T. As far as women go I think that I can name two off the top of my head. They both definitely had different enneagrams, and one was by far quieter than the other, but I still think that the quieter one was extraverted. The one ENTJ I'm thinking of is to be known as "mummy" and the other "camera".

Mummy: She's a fiscally conservative feminist with a very strong attitude. She's not necessarily mean, and I've had some pleasant conversations with her, but if you say something that's a bit too politically incorrect she'll flip a turd. I have my political beliefs and if other people are saying things contrary to them I'll feel uncomfortable and perhaps state my own opinion on the matter, but if the view is starkly different from mine and intensity ensues I'll eventually dig down to try and reveal both of our root morals as to why we believe these things. It'll then turn into a debate of morals and semantics. Mummy does not do that, she'll spit facts out at you until you have nothing else to say, even if it means that she'll be pulling things out of her ass and talking about them in a way that makes it seem like it's totally true. I've debated her (the ENTJ) and I've debated an ESTJ woman about the same topic (universal healthcare). Even though the ESTJ is technically the opposite of me, I almost enjoyed debated the ESTJ more than the ENTJ because the ESTJ would go "uh, whatever" or "I don't know anything about that so you may have a point". The ENTJ on the other hand, she will never cave.

Camera: She's pretty obsessed with photography and does lots of photography things. She's taken pictures of famous people and attended many different prestigious events, I think she's well on her way to becoming a professional photographer. She's quite a friendly person and I've mooched food off of her in the past many times back when we lived in the same dorm. She's also told me about her sex life, interestingly enough. But, she's very stringent with the "work hard, play hard" attitude towards what she does and many times has made me feel less adequate at anything that I'm doing. She didn't do this on purpose, but I just compare myself to her sometimes in terms of how much I don't have my shit together and how much she does. She thinks she knows a lot in terms of how difficult it is to do what she's doing, which I think is a kind of snobby thing to do. It bothers me a bit. And also she took several headshots of me to use in theatrical productions that I paid her five dollars for, all of which she lost on a computer that wasn't hers. Grrrr.

I can think of two INTJs off the top of my head. One, "Acorn" is enneagram 1. Acorn a great person to hang out with, he can take any existing concept and mold it into a hilarious analysis. He's also really good at helping you organize your priorities and figure things out. The other INTJ, "Saddle", makes similar analyses, but they're not as funny. He's very prim in the way that he acts and very serious about everything. What is funny though, is that Acorn is a social anarchist and Saddle is a real staunch crony capitalist conservative. It just goes to show how varied INTJs can be.

I know a ton of INTPs. I see that a lot of people on this thread don't know a single one and I find this surprising. I can think of at least 15. INTPs are also very varied, although I think they have a tendency to word things in a way that are very confusing to me at first. I think this is because they're similar to me except everything is internalized in a logical scientific way instead of an emotional way. Most INTPs I've interacted with have a 50/50 chance of connecting really well with me or just saying something really really confusing. I'm not 100% sure why that is but it seems to be a trend.

Edit: Fun fact in regards to ENTJ women. Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series is often labeled as one. So if you're looking for an example, there you go.
 
#37 ·
Sorry for the edits, gang.....I assumed that when I clicked, "Reply" under CHIPPS' post above that it would insert just below hers. (Newb!)

Any way: @ CHIPPS----

You & I should have a phone conversation one of these evenings. I read your points 1., and 2. above.

And almost jumped with joy! I was like: "Really, there's actually another woman who prefers having male friends (they're much more rationale that most women); who ISN'T passive-aggressive; and is, totally okay with being alone?" I, too have no need for emotional feedback on a constant basis....because I'm such a pragmatist: ("Just the facts, don't want to hear your entire emotional story..., but more importantly, I don't feel the need to tell you mine!)

And, nobody CAN block me when I'm on a mission (usually something 'Justice' related) either. Talk about being a "Steam-Roller"! We're not out to hurt a soul, we're visionary strategists; and don't want to be influenced by manipulative, emotional, people. Just 'get 'er done', and have contingency plans all ready in place. Must think about ALL possible possible outcomes/offenses/defenses, with a strategy already thought out/prepared.

But, don't you just hate it when others tell you that you are "extraordinary", "incredible", "amazing", "gut wrenchingly honest", "refreshing", "REAL", "rare", etc.

This is who I am innately, and just haven't figured out how to understand why everybody else WOULDN'T be straight-up honest! haha

My name is Danielle...but everyone just calls me "Dani".

Please PM me if you'd be open to private conversations. Until I write 15 posts, I'm unable to do so. But, (naturally) too much going on in my life to be posting/blogging, right now. I've found myself having to take on the role of "Norma Rae" over the next few month, so I'm pretty focused. Yet, I've been given that 'breath-of-fresh-air' I needed in reading your post, because I'm running into those same kind of road-blocks: "Dani's a Bi**H"; "Who does she THINK she is to talk this way to a Gov't official!"

Yet, I am definitely, calm, professional, and know the pertinent legal statutes more than those Gov't officials....so, I'm just confident that I know what the the heck it is I'm saying ('cuz, naturally, I've done hundred of hours of research).

But, nobody (except, me) likes to admit that they may be wrong, and haven't done in-depth research. I can totally "hear that" from someone I respect, because ALL of life is about learning! Heck, if I'm wrong, just tell me, and show me the research I might have missed. No biggee! Beers all around afterwards!

But, Would love to hear from you.

All the Best,
~Dani
 
#38 ·
I find ENTJ women alluring and enticing.
But they seem to enter my company and then leave.
Maybe my Fe is repulsive to you ladies, but I quite like you.
I think I may have found a young ENTJ lady, and she's interesting.
But, anyway, I think it'd be fun to find you ladies more often. Even the INTJ's are most enjoyable.
Maybe it's just my 5 making me crave the T interaction...
Anyway, just my 2 cents and some slight inquiries.
Would you ladies please expound on your interactions with an INFJ male, if you have any?

Twitch
 
#42 ·
In response to what it is





I am an ENTJ female and as I read some of the responses, I can relate. As an ENTJ female I do feel that other women and men are intimated by my personality. The assertive and bold part of my personality tends to make other people doubt themselves, and thus feel intimidated. I wouldn't consider myself a "bitch", but I definitely take care of business in the nicest way possible. Sometimes, however, the nicest way of handling things still comes out as an unpleasant thing for the receiver to hear. Speaking the truth at times may seem like a "bitchy" thing to do, but when the truth/direction on a matter needs to be addressed, I'm going to address it. This is part of taking leadership and making things happen of which the ENTJ is famous of. I think other personality types needs to realize that ENTJ females are not "bitchy" but rather make things happen. I really important issue I wish other personality types would realize is often declarative statements made by us (us as in ENTJ types) are not absolute. Rather, they are considered truth in our minds until proven otherwise but credible evidence. It is very frustrating to me to be considered "narrow minded" when if fact I am not. I am open to ideas/suggestions to modifications of my ideas/plans as long as you provide enough reasoning/information why my idea is incorrect/needs to be modified. In all reality, I like it when people challenge my ideas. I want to be challenged. Challenge brings perspective and I respect the other person a lot more if they stand up to me (respectfully of course) and bring more information/angle to the table.

As for being "lady-like", I feel like I do portray "lady-like" qualities but this is something that I have had to specifically work on. By nature I've always said things how I see them and tend to be critical when analyzing a situation. Analysis is not always welcome and being critical is usually linked with negativity which is not very "lady-like". Also, pointing out flaws/problems does not fit the idea role of being a lady in addition to telling people what should be done to fix that flaw/problem.

In regard to INTP, I do not know any. Although on paper, I would think for general companionship they should get along. In my experience, the NT part is important for naturally getting along with an ENTJ, although the deep introspection and lack of structure/action could become frustrating.
 
#52 ·
ENTJ woman here. YES, there is a negative perception. I don't think I've ever been called "bitchy," but that probably has more to do with the circles I run in than anything else. (Most of the people around me just don't use that term.) But I find a complete lack of appreciation for anything inherent to my type. All ENTJ traits are attributed a negative quality, whether they're the negative versions or the beneficial versions. If I'm argumentative, I'm (rightly) called argumentative. If I'm persistent, I'm called argumentative. If I'm bossy I'm "bossy." If I'm bold, I'm "bossy."

As an overall thing, that doesn't bother me. I am what I am, I do what needs to be done, and whatever happens as a result, happens. But I do get weary of it after a while. I get tired of being hated just for being me. I get tired of always having to give, with no "take" in return. Those around me can frustrate me sometimes, sure - we all run into that when dealing with people who are different. But I also appreciate the things they contribute that I don't have to offer. I feel like we aren't often given that same courtesy.

And I am personally attacked on a regular basis. People seem to think that ENTJ's have no feelings, so they can walk all over us, be rude, attack our character, attribute evil intent, etc. and it's no big deal. If we did the same thing to others, we'd be raked over the coals for it, but people seem to think it's just okay when dealing with us thicker-skinned types. But ENTJ's actually feel very deeply - we just don't express those feelings very readily.

I really important issue I wish other personality types would realize is often declarative statements made by us (us as in ENTJ types) are not absolute. Rather, they are considered truth in our minds until proven otherwise but credible evidence. It is very frustrating to me to be considered "narrow minded" when if fact I am not. I am open to ideas/suggestions to modifications of my ideas/plans as long as you provide enough reasoning/information why my idea is incorrect/needs to be modified.
Yes!! I may come across as stubbornly set in my ways, but I'm one of the most open-minded people I know. A lot of other types are too afraid to even enter into discussion on a topic, so they just dig in and immerse themselves in whatever they already believe and won't even expose themselves to an alternative viewpoint. I may go in guns a-blazin', but if you present a solid enough argument, I will change my mind.

I have, in fact, been baffled by friends who have questioned the wisdom of putting "hot topics" on Facebook because "nobody changes their minds based on those discussions anyway." But I have. As strongly as I believe what I believe - and absolutely will not just back down - I have been known on multiple occasions to change my mind based on a discussion like this on Facebook. (And even to go back and post a new status update correcting an earlier statement I'd made, in case anyone privy to the initial conversation had missed the discussion where I changed my mind.)

I don't know the MBTI types of the other people in my life. (I'm more familiar with the 4-type system, overall.) But the things that frustrate me most about those who are opposite of me are when they express offense at my being me (for instance, not allowing me to have a passionate, non-argument discussion with someone else in the same house - yes that has actually happened to me), when they refuse to hear me out (I've had a family member all upset at what she thought I was saying, but really she misunderstood what I was trying to say and refused to hear me clarify), or when introverts get ticked that we ask them things like "what are you thinking," "are you okay," or the like. The nature of introvertedness is that whatever you're thinking is inside your head. That means I don't know what it is, 'cause I'm not a mind-reader. So as long as I am willing to ask and then drop it if there isn't any action I need to take on the answer, just understand that I'm trying to understand you and give you what you need, not to tick you off.
 
#43 ·
Dani,

As an ENTJ I can relate to a few things you mention. As far as friends go, through the years I have also preferred to have males as friends. I have a variety of friends (male and female) but I find that my "good" female friends are far a few between. My best friend is actually an INTJ and we get along like peanut butter and Jelly. I am not sure if other ENTJ females feel this way, but I have found that I tend to have 1-3 really good friends where I prefer to spend most of my time with. Although I have many friends, I tend to spend most of my efforts time with my good pals who I get mesh the best with.

In regard to emotion, I find that I am out of touch with my emotions and they tend to be non existent for most of life. Then, at times they come out totally unexpected catching me off guard. Does this also happen for other ENTJ females?
 
#45 · (Edited)
I am a female ENTJ but after years of trying to become more "acceptable" I've now seemingly morphed into an "INTJ". i.e. I dont really say much to people anymore and stay quiet most of the time unless its absolutely necessary (like at work or something) because having ENTJ characteristics as a female is undesirable and people become intimidated especially if you're a female. ENTJ males probably get away with so much more. In order for the ENTJ female to survive, she needs to learn how to stay silent and not reveal too much.

In addition, society tries to pound the ENTJ-ness out of you at an early age (if you're a girl). From teachers and parents etc. You grow up feeling like there is something intrinsically wrong with you for being that way. If you are an E it's worse because there's a higher chance for you to expose how "different" you are.

Someone said that being an ENTJ female means you have more male friends than female friends...i disagree. You have male "colleagues" not friends. especially if you're in a male dominated industry.

in terms of conversations, men are more interesting to talk to but usually it doesn't lead to "friendship" and stays at the acquaintance or professional level.

To be blunt, males are usually only "friends" with females if they have some hope that they can hook up with them (something most females are in denial of). But if you're a genuine ENTJ female, its likely that a majority of males think you're 1. not interested 2. too busy... it's highly unlikely that they will continue to waste their time being "friends" with a girl without a possibility of getting anything in return. It sounds cynical but that's been my observation. However, they might invest time in an being friends with an ENTJ girl if they're trying to further their career or it's related to something professional.

I guess I've had male friends in the professional context, but this was because most of them were already married etc and there were no expectations. In addition, most interesting interactions are with other T types.

I think woman are really boring to talk to. They tend to talk about people and relationships a lot and it's really uninteresting. However, sometimes i wonder if many of these women are faking it. That there are alot of women who want to talk about other topics but have also been compelled to stay quiet due to social pressure

The other types (both male/female) seem to engage in a lot of fake small talk or jokes that are not funny. In such cases i just pretend to be interested in what's going on. It actually feels like a waste of time though.
 
#48 ·
If more men understood the difference between being loved and being needed, they wouldn't fault the female ENTJ for not being whiny, passive, ineffectual, etc.

Then again, it seems to me that even among those men who do understand the difference, many men actively prefer being needed to being loved. After all, if she needs him more than he needs her, it keeps him in a position of comparative power in the relationship.

Love gives no such guarantee.
 
#50 ·
Let me add something about being an ENTJ female...

It kinda sucks! It's liberating! It's a gift, yet in quiet moments it becomes a curse!

I understand the label, my world revolves around a male dominated industry where I (being an ENTJ) is perceived who is someone strong, opinionated, independent, blends well with the boys, and cuts mens balls off.

Yet, despite the obvious masculinity in our personality, we are also a woman. We discreetly want to be feminine with a man, wants to be acknowledge for being a woman and certainly wants our own selves to simply be NOT STEREOTYPED.

We have our unique strengths that makes us spark in a crowd, indispensable, and liked by male peers (either they like to kill us or they simply like us).

So if ever you find yourself with an ENTJ woman whether in an office environment, a promising relationship, or as a friend then appeal to her fragile nature (she doesn’t show it upfront), but if you genuinely get to know her then she will be the most dependent friend, the most cultivating co-worker, the most accommodating person, the no-bullshit-person who you can ask about things, and she will be a keeper.

When that time comes you meet that ENTJ woman, instead of looking at the other side… look at her side further…you’ll be amazed how wonderful they are as a person.
 
#51 ·
I'm an ENTJ female, and I'm married to an INTP guy. Sometimes he frustrates me, because he is so SLOW. He won't commit to anything until he feels it's fully figured out, and sometimes I just want to act and start solving a problem! However, I really value the fact that when I'm having crazy times and trying to do a million things at once, he has the patience and intelligence to help me get things done and vent my frustrations constructively. He's really good at waiting for me to open up and then taking it into account. From me, I think he likes that I'm good at having ideas and getting stuff done, that I'm low on inhibitions (for someone prone to overthinking, this is a big relief for him), but I think my convoluted internal logic does baffle him sometimes!